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| One of my good friends just died; and my stepfather is close to it | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 18 2006, 10:06 AM (985 Views) | |
| LadyElton | Dec 18 2006, 12:18 PM Post #26 |
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Fulla-Carp
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Larry, My deepest condolences over the loss of your friend. I wish for the best regarding your step-father. God bless your mother. It is not easy caring for a sick family member. My father's mother moved in with us back in July and it has been an emotional rollercoaster. She has dementia, congestive heart failure and other problems. It takes a toll on everyone after a while. My thoughts and prayers are with you. It's funny. We all may butt heads over issues, but when someone is in need, we are there for them. It's a wonderful - albeit dysfunctional at times - family we have here. |
| Hilary aka LadyElton | |
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| kluurs | Dec 18 2006, 12:34 PM Post #27 |
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Fulla-Carp
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Your friend sounds like a kindred spirit to you - someone who stepped in, did the right thing, then kept doing the right thing as long as he could. There's no repaying such kindness - one lives forever in their debt. Got to love that there are such people in the world. It is so difficult to watch our loved ones age and begin to fall to illness. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you all. |
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| big al | Dec 18 2006, 12:41 PM Post #28 |
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Bull-Carp
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Larry, you, your family and your friend's family will be in my thoughts and prayers in the coming days. When they go, they take a bit of us with them and leave something of their lives with us. Particularly in the case of your friend, I hope that what he leaves is a blessing to you. Big Al |
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Location: Western PA "jesu, der simcha fun der man's farlangen." -bachophile | |
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| OperaTenor | Dec 18 2006, 02:09 PM Post #29 |
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Pisa-Carp
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Larry, my sincerest condolences for the unexpected and sudden loss of your friend. My prayers and thoughts are with you and yours about this and your stepfather. May God hold you in the palm of His hand. ![]() |
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| jon-nyc | Dec 18 2006, 02:24 PM Post #30 |
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Cheers
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Sorry to hear this, Larry. Please take care of your mom. |
| In my defense, I was left unsupervised. | |
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| Steve Miller | Dec 18 2006, 02:26 PM Post #31 |
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Bull-Carp
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I'm very sorry about the loss of your friend, Larry, and my thoughts are with yoyu as you help your parents thorugh this difficult time. Hang in there. |
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Wag more Bark less | |
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| CTPianotech | Dec 18 2006, 05:20 PM Post #32 |
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Fulla-Carp
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God bless, you and your mom Larry. |
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| katie | Dec 18 2006, 05:38 PM Post #33 |
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Fulla-Carp
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I'm sorry too Larry. Please accept my condolences. This stuff hurts. Grieving ain't easy. Take Care Sweetie.
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| Ballyhoo | Dec 18 2006, 07:14 PM Post #34 |
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Middle Aged Carp
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Sorry to hear that, Larry. |
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| JBryan | Dec 18 2006, 07:30 PM Post #35 |
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I am the grey one
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Sorry for your loss, Larry. Your friend has taken the first step into a new existence and, for that, we should rejoice although I know you will miss him. We can all hoist one in his honor even if we did not know him. Knowing he was your friend is good enough for me. |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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| Larry | Dec 18 2006, 09:58 PM Post #36 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Thank you, each and every one of you. I feel like I've had my guts kicked out. The funeral home did an absolutely lousy job in preparing his body. Had I not known it was him I wouldn't have even recognized him. It was just awful. His widow is an extremely shy, reserved woman. I felt so sorry for her, having to stand there beside his coffin, smile, and shake everyone's hand as they filed by to pay their respects. She isn't good at that sort of thing, she's far too shy. Everyone meant well, and everyone wanted her to know she had friends who care, but she was so intimidated by it all. I gave her a hug and told her if she needed anything at all to please call me. She just wilted, and wouldn't let go. Besides having to deal with her husband's sudden death, she was completely overwhelmed by having to smile and speak to everyone. As she clung to me she began to shake, and I could hear her crying softly into my chest. It broke my heart. She will be lost without him. I stood there looking at him, thinking to myself how much it hurts to know that I will never see my good friend again, never get to watch him laugh at my jokes, never get to listen to him as he tells me all the latest "dirt" on what's happening in town (he was a city councilman) - but it all seems so insignificant compared to what his wife, a woman I've known since she was just a kid, has lost. One day he's there, asking her what's for dinner, fixing her sink, all the normal things a couple does in the course of life, and the next day he's gone, and she's lost her life's mate. She's like a little sister to me. This just sucks. Oh - he died of lung cancer. He didn't even smoke. Never did. They told me that Friday morning he complained of pain in his back. He went to the hospital, was admitted, did some Xrays, and found that about 1/3 of one lung was completely eaten up by it, and his liver had several areas of cancer. He was dead by morning. |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Axtremus | Dec 18 2006, 10:42 PM Post #37 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Prayer for the dead. May he rest in peace. |
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| Piano*Dad | Dec 19 2006, 05:46 AM Post #38 |
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Bull-Carp
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Larry, Our thoughts are with you. Now go help that "special lady." |
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| kluurs | Dec 19 2006, 07:08 AM Post #39 |
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Fulla-Carp
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Sounds like he might have had a cancer that spread to the liver and lungs. He probably had some symptoms but just didn't complain or want to know what was causing them. Very sorry for his wife. While it is a big hole in your heart, it is almost unimaginable what it must be for her. Can only hope that your community can help her a bit - and perhaps she can find some way to reach out. |
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| Frank_W | Dec 19 2006, 08:08 AM Post #40 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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Aw, man.... I'm so sorry for her, and for the fact that the funeral home did such a lousy job. How sad...
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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| justme | Dec 19 2006, 09:08 AM Post #41 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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"Men sway more towards hussies." G-D3 | |
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| Larry | Dec 19 2006, 09:21 AM Post #42 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Haskel's obituary |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Dewey | Dec 19 2006, 12:14 PM Post #43 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Larry, you know I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, and for the situation that you're facing with your mother & stepfather. In fact, I waited so long to write anything because I kept trying to find some great words that would help. The truth is, I don't have any magic words to take away the pain of your loss. So I'll just have to settle for saying I'm sorry, and if you ever need an ear to bend or a shoulder to lean on, use mine. Maybe that's all you can say to Haskell's widow, too. Besides, what you really feel is spoken, and heard, without words anyway. |
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"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685. "Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous "Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011 I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14 | |
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| M&M's | Dec 19 2006, 01:24 PM Post #44 |
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Fulla-Carp
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I'm very sorry for your loss Larry. |
| My child shows GOOD CHARACTERIZATION in an ongoing game of D&D | |
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| David Burton | Dec 19 2006, 08:10 PM Post #45 |
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Senior Carp
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Dewey said it about as well as I could and I feel exactly the same as he does, especially about The late Mr. Allen's widow. Most people have no idea what terrors are often in store for those who have only known the care and strength of their husbands only to have that taken from them. I sincerely hope you can help her get through this and survive it - as some do not. |
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| Larry | Dec 20 2006, 12:38 AM Post #46 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Thanks, all of you. Haskel's widow will have plenty of family to turn to. She thinks of me like a brother, I think of her as a kid sister. It's kind of hard to explain, but I'll try. My best friend in grade and high school is her uncle. His name is Dwight. Dwight's parents had already raised their children, they were all married and out of the house, when he sort of "surprised" them... His youngest sister is about 15 or so years older than he is. Lacy, Haskel's wife, is Dwight's youngest sister's daughter. Dwight and I practically lived at each other's house, and all his older sisters and his mother just took me as another one of the family, Dwight also the same with *my* family. I was around 11 or 12 when Lacy was born. I watched her grow up. She just thought I was another uncle or brother. Now, to complicate it - Haskel was quite a bit older than she is. He was in his late 60s, Lacy is in her early 40s. But any "consoling" I might give her will be as a brother to his kid sister. Now - the widow Harris on the other hand.... I never much liked her husband, but he recently left her a very nice pontoon boat.... She doesn't know me very well.... that may be a good thing........ ![]() (I'm JUST KIDDING! Sheesh!.......)
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| JBryan | Dec 20 2006, 05:19 AM Post #47 |
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I am the grey one
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Please show picture of pontoon boat. |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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| taiwan_girl | Dec 20 2006, 06:56 AM Post #48 |
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Fulla-Carp
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I just wanted to add my condolences.
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| Larry | Dec 20 2006, 10:44 AM Post #49 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| JBryan | Dec 20 2006, 10:50 AM Post #50 |
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I am the grey one
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Whooo Weeee! Ain't she a beauty! Double decker with air conditioning and twin screws. |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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