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Are most people petty and self-centered?
Topic Started: Dec 5 2006, 11:01 PM (741 Views)
CrashTest
Pisa-Carp
I realized this about a few friends of mine, and people in general.

They seem to argue for argument's sake a lot of the time - in order to fulfill their own belief biases and to reaffirm them.

Are most people petty, and harbor negative feelings towards other a lot of the time? I have found this in a few people I know. I am not like this - in fact I strive to get along with others when possible, and only act in response to negative behavior.

Is there someone who is sincerely "nice" without all of these complex negative emotions clouding their behaviors? Or it must be that college aged people are more mixed up then most.

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CTPianotech
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Fulla-Carp
Quote:
 
Are most people petty, and harbor negative feelings towards other a lot of the time? 


Most folks I know, seem to chill out quite a bit with age.

In high school, it was always one of my greatest frustrations to see people involved in ridiculous petty feuds about nothing. Then I find myself feeling pressured not to be friends with this person or that, because of whoever the hell wasn't getting along that day.

It takes a lot for me to be genuinely angry with someone, to the point where I think it's even worth having any kind of argument.
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Daniel\
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Fulla-Carp
College aged people are more mixed up than most. I am not saying this as an insult.

In general, never underestimate survival as a motivating factor in human beings. People will do all kinds of irrational things when they think their survival is at stake.

There are nice people but nobody's perfect.

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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
Quote:
 
Are most people petty and self-centered?


Yes.

Next question?
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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CrashTest
Pisa-Carp
How do you deal with it in the best manner possible?
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ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
CrashTest
Dec 6 2006, 08:45 AM
How do you deal with it in the best manner possible?

Shotguns leave less identifiable ballistic evidence.
The dogma lives loudly within me.
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kentcouncil
Fulla-Carp
One word: Taser
It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.

- P.G. Wodehouse
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Horace
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HOLY CARP!!!
college is a competitive place, the workplace is a competitive place, people are judged by how good they are compared to others. Everybody understands this and everybody wants not to be the loser for good reason - it's pretty tough to be happy as a loser. But unfortunately 50% of people are below average - guess how they deal with that. They twist and contort their image of reality such that the world's unfair and that's the only reason they're not winners. This usually takes the form of petty jealosies and selfishnesses and all that.

Deal with it by realizing it's dysfunctional, lose respect for them if you must but don't allow them to make you angry if possible.
As a good person, I implore you to do as I, a good person, do. Be good. Do NOT be bad. If you see bad, end bad. End it in yourself, and end it in others. By any means necessary, the good must conquer the bad. Good people know this. Do you know this? Are you good?
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
CrashTest
Dec 6 2006, 07:45 AM
How do you deal with it in the best manner possible?

Usually, garotting works quite well. If you have a swamp nearby, where you can sink the bodies and let the alligators do the rest of the work for you, so much the better.

Um... Either that, or uh.... avoid the people who behave in a petty, shallow, and self-centered manner.
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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CrashTest
Pisa-Carp
So you can avoid them right? I mean, there are enough nice people out there for you to go to?
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
I think, that if you are kind and generous, while maintaining your discretion, you will eventually begin to attract people who are similar.
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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JBryan
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I am the grey one
Kind and generous people attract people looking for handouts.
"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne


There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it".


Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody.

Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore.

From The Lion in Winter.
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
That's why these noble traits are best paired with discretion, as I just got through saying.
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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JBryan
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I am the grey one
I have loads of discretion and still they call me in the evening when I am busy doing something else.
"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne


There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it".


Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody.

Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore.

From The Lion in Winter.
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
The solution is to get on a "Do Not Call" list, both federal and state, and when they DO call you, cut them off by saying that you are not interested, and request to be removed from their calling list. Be consistant and persistant with this, and the calls will stop.
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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JBryan
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I am the grey one
I have done all of those things. I have even started telling them I died last week so don't bother calling. Still they persist.
"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne


There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it".


Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody.

Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore.

From The Lion in Winter.
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
If you're on a state calling list, that's the best. States are all about tracking it down and getting the revenue, so when they DO call, especially if you've asked them to remove you from their calling list, ask to speak to their supervisor, get first/last names and phone numbers where they can be called directly, and then report it to your state's FCC. I guarantee, that will get results. And even if you don't follow through, it will put the fear of God into them, and they WILL remove you from their calling list!
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
I have a similar problem with the local constabulary. I tried to put myself on their do-not-call list, but it just seemed to make matters worse.
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
Yeah, but when they are calling at your doorstep, there's not much you can really do. (Your wrists just seem to be MADE for silver bracelets!) :lol2:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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kenny
HOLY CARP!!!
"Spend your time with the highest-quality people who will tolerate you."

This is a quote.
I think it was said by one of the men who discovered DNA.

Crash - you will find good people.
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David Burton
Senior Carp
Prayer, "Oh Thou Lord, reachest for me down to the lairs of all the people engaged in this noxious profession, that of telephone solicitors, and kindly restrain them from their trade by any means you deem best in your Infinite Wisdom. Amen."

-- or --

We started a thread about the essentially petty and self-centered nature of most human beings, a sensible topic and one worthy to be discussed, and what do we end up with? Dumping on telephone solicitors of course, as if even I could not have foreseen this development.

Well yes, certainly the basest aspects of human nature are petty and self-centered, yet in many more cases than people would like to have to admit, often serving as a covering for a great deal of general anxiety or downright fear. In fact I have been surprised to uncover deep within the most seemingly contented people, often showing plenty of signs that consciously or unconsciously they were permitting themselves to be seen as petty or self-centered, were in fact down deep inside desperately lonely and often terrified to die. People like my boss for instance; the living breathing image of the stereotype of many so called rich people, who in many cases aren't even that rich. Some people out there are living breathing examples of who not to be. We can all learn from them. Even when pettiness and self-centeredness aren't being used for a purpose, no matter how petty and self-centered that purpose turns out to be, like doing something charitable for some people who might honestly need help so that one gets more name recognition. In my time I've seen it all. Through numerous gestures involving "I know better," "I'm smarter," "I have more money," "I have more power," even "Mine is bigger," the pettiness and ugliness of self-centered conceits and self-congratulatory behavior sickens me to my depths - when I'm not laughing with the rest of the idiots at some ghastly party - and makes me wonder why an Almighty being would care a fig for the lot of us.

Maybe in some respects I'm as guilty as the rest, I have to be I suppose at times, but to be perfectly honest - at least I'm not afraid of dying. And of all of life's experiences, at one time in my life I was introduced to Classical Music and frankly, quite honestly, of all mankind's bravest conceits; that he has mastered this or that technology, has made flying commonplace, etc., Classical Music is about the only thing that really actually matters to me, that I have found of enduring beauty and significance, that can still impart its messages to me as it did so long ago. If there is pettiness and self-centeredness in mankind, Classical Music can show us something else we are capable of.

And finally to me personally, it is to people who see the world as similarly as I have grown to see it, to whom I am of greatest interest to meet and to know. I'd say a fairly tiny group too.
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
Oh man... What a great message, David. I would really like to actually meet you, someday. I would honestly like to shake your hand and spend time over coffee or a glass of scotch, just talking with you. :)
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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AlbertaCrude
Bull-Carp
I immediately interrupt telephone solicitors by telling them that I am not interested in hearing what they have to say either now or in future and and hang up.
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kenny
HOLY CARP!!!
AlbertaCrude
Dec 6 2006, 09:31 AM
I immediately interrupt telephone solicitors by telling them that I am not interested in hearing what they have to say either now or in future and and hang up.

I hang up the *instant* I figure out it is sales.

Not even a Good Bye.
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TomK
HOLY CARP!!!
kenny
Dec 6 2006, 01:33 PM
AlbertaCrude
Dec 6 2006, 09:31 AM
I immediately interrupt telephone solicitors by telling them that I am not interested in hearing what they have to say either now or in future and  and hang up.

I hang up the *instant* I figure out it is sales.

Not even a Good Bye.

I personally am unfailingly polite to everyone no matter why they call.

We are each human beings, and sometimes people are forced into places and jobs they might not otherwise have taken if situations were different. I, in my life, have been fortunate, others maybe not so much--but I hope to pass through the eye of the needle and I think charity to those less fortunate is the grease that may help me pass through.
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