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| Embarrassing Moments | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 28 2006, 12:46 PM (400 Views) | |
| George K | Nov 28 2006, 12:46 PM Post #1 |
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Finally
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I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job? Pad, please! An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest. Ho, Ho, Ho I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera! Lady Golfer I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said,"I think I like playing with men's balls." Nuts about You My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. Na-na na-na na-nah! While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving right now she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night! The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. Priceless One of the funniest most-embarrassing-moment,stories I've come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear,"PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word Tampax for THUMBTACKS. In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?? Mom's Advice A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom?" she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and get me. |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| John D'Oh | Nov 28 2006, 12:47 PM Post #2 |
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MAMIL
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I'm guessing GK is on vacation. |
| What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket? | |
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| apple | Nov 28 2006, 12:48 PM Post #3 |
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one of the angels
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i just can't stop calling flip-flops thongs. |
| it behooves me to behold | |
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| Riley | Nov 28 2006, 12:58 PM Post #4 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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I certainly hope all those didn't happen to the same woman. |
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| George K | Nov 28 2006, 01:00 PM Post #5 |
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Finally
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Heh.... |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| M&M's | Nov 28 2006, 01:15 PM Post #6 |
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Fulla-Carp
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LMAO! I can't decide which I think is funniest. :lol: |
| My child shows GOOD CHARACTERIZATION in an ongoing game of D&D | |
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| Frank_W | Nov 28 2006, 01:21 PM Post #7 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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I was meeting my future father-in-law for the first time, while living in Japan. I was looking quite dapper in a pair of grey slacks and a black turtleneck. He showed up and barely said hello to me, and when I presented the bottle of whiskey I'd bought him as a gift, he grunted what might have been thanks, and put it in the trunk of his Benz. After that, he drove for an hour and a half, wordlessly, like a bat out of hell, until we arrived at his house in Chiba Prefecture. I sat, the whole time, convinced that he hated me. That was one seriously TENSE ride! (Nevermind the fact that I was sure that he was going to get us all killed in a huge fireball of a crash!) We talked a little, and then he broke out the whiskey. I was so nervous that after the toast, I slugged it down in a single gulp. We drank some beer too, I think.... Soon, I had to visit the lavatory, so I excused myself. I finished having a piss and then went to flush. I was faced with a pad of buttons with Japanese writing on them. I pressed one and nothing happened. I pressed another again, nothing happened. I pressed a third, and a little spigot came out from beneath the toilet rim and began shooting water at my crotch. I jumped out of the way, and it went on, merrily spraying the door with the jet of water. It finally subsided. I was going crazy in that tiny (literal) "water closet," grabbing huge wads of bog roll and wiping down the door, all the while thinking, "If I take too long in here, he's going to think I've gone to launch a sea pickle!" Finally, I finished cleaning up and looked down again, still faced with the dilemma of the unflushed bog. Cripes.... At that point, I happened to glance to the right, and tucked between the side of the tank and the wall, was an ordinary flush handle. I emerged, relieved, mopping a cold sweat from my forehead, grey slacks stained in such a way that I looked like I'd pissed myself. While I had been "occupying myself" in the bog, he'd prepared the camera and cheerfully said, "Let's take a photo!" There's a photo of he and I together, with this visible stain over most of the crotch of my grey slacks.
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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| ivorythumper | Nov 28 2006, 02:05 PM Post #8 |
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
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:lol: :lol: :lol: |
| The dogma lives loudly within me. | |
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| RosemaryTwo | Nov 28 2006, 02:30 PM Post #9 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Frank --I had a similar event happen while living as an exchange student in France. I was invited to attend a baptism with the family. Sure, I'd go. I thought it would last for two, three hours tops. Well, OVER EIGHT HOURS and two meals later, stuck at some relative's house, I really did need one of those "pads" -- not for writing -- the feminine kind. New to my French family, absent any dictionary, I went into the bathroom to see what I could find / create. After searching high and low for over 20 minutes, I couldn't even find a scrap of toilet paper. Reaching emergency levels, I had to go into a kitchen of French-speaking relatives and pantomime that I needed a Kotex. Ooohhhh, the humilation. Good thing they were all on their 10th bottle of wine. Hmmmm. |
| "Perhaps the thing to do is just to let stupid run its course." Aqua | |
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| M&M's | Nov 28 2006, 02:38 PM Post #10 |
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Fulla-Carp
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Oh my God! I think I would have died!!! |
| My child shows GOOD CHARACTERIZATION in an ongoing game of D&D | |
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| RosemaryTwo | Nov 28 2006, 02:49 PM Post #11 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Yeah, the whole event was over 15 years ago, but it's sorta stuck with me. So humbling. I'm okay with it, experiences like these build character. A big part of the frustration was the whole "foreign bathroom" frustration. I also hosed down my family's bathroom several times, trying to figure out how to wash my hair w/ a shower head on a hose, that did not attach to the wall (you had to hold it on one hand, the whole time, while washing and rinsing...) . No shower curtain. Slanted celing, making it impossible to stand fully upright. Someone explain that to me. They must have loved it when I left their bathroom, walls soaking wet and all. They must have loved it even more when I flew back to the States. Amercians screw up a lot, but we do have some of the best bathrooms in the world. IMHO <_< |
| "Perhaps the thing to do is just to let stupid run its course." Aqua | |
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| Frank_W | Nov 28 2006, 05:35 PM Post #12 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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Poor Rosemary!! LOL!
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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| Daniel\ | Nov 28 2006, 05:46 PM Post #13 |
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Fulla-Carp
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Here they are the "state shoe". They are called "rubber slippers". They would barely know what you meant by "flip flops". |
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| JBryan | Nov 28 2006, 09:17 PM Post #14 |
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I am the grey one
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That had to be an interesting pantomime frought with beaucoups chances for misinterpretation. |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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| JBryan | Nov 28 2006, 09:18 PM Post #15 |
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I am the grey one
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That sure is a convoluted story just to avoid admitting you pissed all over yourself. |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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| jodi | Nov 29 2006, 09:39 AM Post #16 |
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Fulla-Carp
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My mother and her husband (who is Japanese) have one of those contraptions. Heated seat, and all those little buttons with funny pictures of squirting water on them. It confuses all their guests. jodi
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Jodimy artlog ~ todayatmydesk.weebly.com | |
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| Jolly | Nov 29 2006, 10:06 AM Post #17 |
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Geaux Tigers!
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Which is why one never leaves the house without a pocketknife. A closed bathroom door, a cotton towel, and voila! |
| The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros | |
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| taiwan_girl | Nov 29 2006, 11:10 AM Post #18 |
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Fulla-Carp
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Somewhat off topic, but is there a difference? I would think that a golf ball is a golf ball. |
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| Frank_W | Nov 29 2006, 07:38 PM Post #19 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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Hahahaha... Very funny. What's even funnier, is that my Japanese brother-in-law did exactly the same thing. He can READ!! He HAD no excuse! When he told me, we roared with laughter.... LOL |
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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| katie | Nov 29 2006, 07:42 PM Post #20 |
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Fulla-Carp
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Frank, I can't believe it without seeing the pic .. heh
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| Frank_W | Nov 29 2006, 07:46 PM Post #21 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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LMAO!! I still have that pic! I'll see if I can find it.... Good grief.. LOL |
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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| katie | Nov 29 2006, 07:51 PM Post #22 |
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Fulla-Carp
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LOL .... you'd post it !? I'd say, that takes balls. But then again, you're a male with a set of them.
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| Frank_W | Nov 29 2006, 07:55 PM Post #23 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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Hahahaha... That's if I can find the photo. |
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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--


It confuses all their guests.
jodi


4:39 PM Jul 10