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She was sooooo blonde!
Topic Started: Nov 28 2006, 12:29 PM (198 Views)
George K
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Finally
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...

She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She thought General Motors was in the army.
She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here": she wrote "Sagittarius.".

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...

She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.
She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."

She was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...

She tripped over a cordless phone.
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said, "Concentrate"
She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK .
She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...

She studied for a blood test.
She thought she needed a ticket to get on "Soul Train."
She sold the car for gas money.
When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...

When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front"

A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
She was soooooooo blonde....

that she put lipstick on her forehead so she could make up her mind....
that she drove by the YMCA and said "Oh look - they spelled Macy's wrong!"
they won't let her take coffee breaks because it takes so much time to retrain her...
She planted a box of Cheerios in her garden thinking they were doughnut seeds...
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?" To which she replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "What do you do?" I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded. The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket $95.00

Court Costs $45.00

Look on the Cop's Face....... PRICELESS
For everything else, there's MasterCard!
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
Why are there only 49 contestants in the Miss Black America this year?

They couldn't find a girl willing to wear a sign that said I-da -ho.
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
How do you know if a Blonde has been at your computer?

A1: The Joystick's wet
A2: There's white out on the screen
A3: There's cheese by the mouse.
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
4 girls walk into a a male strip bar.They all thought they were all so cool so the first girl reached into her purse and licked a 10 dollar bill and stuck it on a guys butt.One of the other girls thought the were the coolest of them all so she got a 20 dollar bill out of her purse,licked it and stuck it on the guys butt.One of the other girls thought she was the coolest so she grabbed a 50 dollar bill,licked it and stuck it on the guys butt.The last girl was a blonde and she thought she was the coolest so she got out her credit card,swiped it down the guys crack,took the 80 dollars and left.
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
A blond was a house keeper an old man's house. He asked her to have sex with him. She told him no because she wanted him to get tested for HIV first. He got the tests, and brought her back the results which showed he came out negative. So, she had sex with him. When they were done, he said, "so i guess blondes aren't really that stupid, after all." She said "You better believe it! I wasn't going to get *that* disease again!"......
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
One night at the kitchen table a man, who works at a pickle factory,says to his wife " Honey today at work I had this urge to stick my penis into the pickle slicer.
His wife told him to see a psychiatrist.
Three weeks later at the kitchen table the man says to his wife " Honey they fired me from work today."
The wife replies " I'll bet it had something to do with that pickle slicer."
The man says " Yeah, and I can't believe they fired her to."
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
There is a blonde, brunet and red head who all worked in a shop together. The blonde's husband is the owner. The husband leaves to go home 3 hours early every day. One day the 3 girls decide to lock up the store and go home a hour early. When the blonde arrives home she sees her husband having sex with another women but he doesn't see her so she goes out. The next day the 3 girls ask each other if they want to leave work an hour early again and go to home but the blonde says "no i almost got caught yesterday".
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the
French captured an English major. Taking the major to their headquarters,
the French general began to question him.

The French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"

In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason
English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why from that day to now all French Army officers wear brown
pants.
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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