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| worst (common) personality trait | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 21 2006, 08:41 AM (253 Views) | |
| Horace | Oct 21 2006, 08:41 AM Post #1 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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I don't know if I'd call it the "worst" common personality trait but it becomes more and more clear to me that the most self-destructive "hopeless loser" trait that I can think of, which so many people have, is the propensity to blame other people for their own problems. These people never learn and never change, they just go through life never truly succeeding at anything, making enemies, and making and breaking short term friendships with other losers. I think this personality trait is shared by the majority of the human race. I guess I can understand why, seeing yourself for what you truly are is a difficult thing to face, that way lies self-hatred, depression, and lots and lots of hard work trying to change. But I think that way also lies eventual happiness, or success, or at least "contentment". I should note that this didn't come to me from reading any posts here, it's been at the back of my mind since I was very young and my schoolmates talked incessantly about how teachers hated them and other things I found absurd even then. But as I've gotten older it's more and more clear to me that if I had to pick one thing that indicated that someone had the "loser" gene, it would be that. |
| As a good person, I implore you to do as I, a good person, do. Be good. Do NOT be bad. If you see bad, end bad. End it in yourself, and end it in others. By any means necessary, the good must conquer the bad. Good people know this. Do you know this? Are you good? | |
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| jon-nyc | Oct 21 2006, 08:43 AM Post #2 |
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Cheers
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Horace, i wish you wouldn't post sh1t like this. It depresses me, which in turn causes me problems at work and in my social relations.
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| In my defense, I was left unsupervised. | |
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| Horace | Oct 21 2006, 08:46 AM Post #3 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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good point! it's a delicate balance after all. |
| As a good person, I implore you to do as I, a good person, do. Be good. Do NOT be bad. If you see bad, end bad. End it in yourself, and end it in others. By any means necessary, the good must conquer the bad. Good people know this. Do you know this? Are you good? | |
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| Mikhailoh | Oct 21 2006, 09:48 AM Post #4 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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I think that is just another extension and result of deceit.. those who lie also lie to themselves. |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| DivaDeb | Oct 21 2006, 11:47 AM Post #5 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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I'm with you on this Horace. We teach a progression of five "arrogant skills" to our kids They are the traps (to be avoided at all costs) that people create that divorce them from reality to the point they are non-functional, or even criminal. Self-deception is fairly far along the progression, as you can see from the list below. Each "skill" builds on the one before it, eventually resulting in a person who feels they should have whatever they want, when they want it, and that no rules apply to them. Self-absorbtion (it's all about me) Self-gratification (since it's all about me, I want what I want, and I want it now) Self-justification (it's all about me, so anything I do to get what I want is fine) Self-deception (it's all about me, so if I don't have everything I want, it's somebody else's fault) Self-deification (it's all about me, so if I have to use somebody else, or hurt them, to get what I want, that's the way it is supposed to be) They can spot them in themselves when they start down that road...it's a fairly simple thing when they're clearly delineated. We all "go there" once in a while, even if it's a very atypical temporary selfishness. I think it's a great tool for teaching kids to evaluate their motivations honestly. The challenge to them is to see the same deficits they easily identify in others, in themselves. |
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| John D'Oh | Oct 21 2006, 11:58 AM Post #6 |
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MAMIL
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I blame God for this being such a common personality trait. He should do something to fix it, particularly in me. |
| What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket? | |
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| pianojerome | Oct 21 2006, 12:05 PM Post #7 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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This bothers me a lot to, when kids (and especially adults) say this. The problem is, the deception is so powerful that if you try to talk about it, the kids come up with so many reasons, and declare them so confidently that there's no way really to respond. (Especially as someone who is interested in teaching, and has taught before: why do you think the teachers are teachers? Certainly not so that they can cause you to fail, or so that they can elevate their own self-esteem while bringing you down.) |
| Sam | |
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| kenny | Oct 21 2006, 12:27 PM Post #8 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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It is the left's fault. (How'm I doin Larry?) |
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| TomK | Oct 21 2006, 12:30 PM Post #9 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Get out of town--it's all kenny's fault! ![]() |
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| John Jacob Jingoism Smith | Oct 21 2006, 02:26 PM Post #10 |
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Middle Aged Carp
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Being controlling. At the small scale, it's the spouse abusers, bullies, etc. All the various forms of minityrant. At the largest scale it's the Hitlers, the Kim Jung Ils, etc. All the various forms of maxityrant. It all seems to stem from the same neurotic feeling that one cannot be satisfied unless one is controlling the behavior of another- but yet one never IS satisfied, so it spirals into pathological behavior. I think it often correlates to being a displacement behavior when one is not adequately in control of ones self, such as being an alcoholic. But sometimes it's just that bullying has worked in the past in satisfying some inner need, so that it becomes a lifetime habit. It's a psychological glitch that seems to be responsible for the largest portion of the various miseries of mankind. The "hopeless loser" may be self destructive, but the controller destroys others. |
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Jingoism You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. Anne Lamott | |
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