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The Preacher; a snippet from recent required reading
Topic Started: Aug 12 2006, 04:06 PM (83 Views)
Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
The Preacher

If he's young, he lacks experience; if he's old, then he's "too old for our church."

If he has five or six children, he has too many; if he has none, he isn't setting a good example.

If his wife sings in the choir, she's being forward; if not, she's not interested in her husband's ministry.

If he uses a manuscript, he's preaching canned semons and is dry; if he's extemporaneous, he rambles too much.

If he spends a lot of time in his study, he neglects his people; if he visits a lot, he's a gadabout.

If he's attentive to the poor, he's grandstanding; if to the wealthy, he's trying to be an aristocrat.

If he hunts or fishes, he's too worldly; if he doesn't, he's out of touch with the real world.

If he suggests improvements, he's a dictator; if he doesn't, he's just a figurehead.

If he uses too many illustrations, he neglects the Bible; if not enough, then he's not clear.

If he condemns wrong, he's cranky; if he doesn't, he's a compromiser.

If he preaches more than thirty minutes, he's long-winded; if not, he's lazy.

If he preaches tithing, he's money-hungry; if he doesn't, he's blamed for not meeting the church budget.

If he receives a large salary, he's mercenary; if a small one, it proves that he's not worth much.

If he preaches every Sunday, people tire of hearing him; if he invites guest preachers, he's shirking his responsibility.

If he fails to please everyone, then he's hurting the church. If he does, he's hurting the church.

God help the Preacher.

:rolleyes:
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

"Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous

"Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011

I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14
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ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
I think the Preacher can help himself.

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The dogma lives loudly within me.
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