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| 2 B or not 2 B; thats teh ? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 31 2006, 05:44 PM (117 Views) | |
| schindler | Jul 31 2006, 05:44 PM Post #1 |
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Fulla-Carp
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I wrote this a while ago, and I was going through some of my older files when I stumbled on it. I decided to post it, just because. Sign: Hamlet in the 21st century Sign: By Caleb Caldwell Sign: Act One A limousine pulls up to the curb and Hamlet, dressed in full regalia, gets out, waves away microphones and cameras and enters office. Hamlet (lies down on couch) You have to help me, Doctor. It's just that everywhere I go it's the same old thing. All anyone wants me to say is `To be or not to be ...' Psychiatrist `... that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous ...' Hamlet (quickly) Yes, it's either that, or `Oh that this too solid flesh would melt ....' Psychiatrist (taking over) `... would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew. Or that the everlasting had not fixed his canon 'gainst self slaughter ...' Hamlet Yes. All that sort of thing. And I'm just getting really fed up. You dig? Psychiatrist Ah. ‘It hath made thee mad. . .?’ Hamlet Yeah. That’s it. Psychiatrist (picking up a skull) Good, we’re making progress. Now do the bit about `Alas poor Yorrick ...' Hamlet No. I'm sick of it! I want to do something else. I want to make something of my life. Psychiatrist No. I don't know that bit. Hamlet I want to get away from all that. Be different. Psychiatrist Are you trying to change the script? Hamlet No, I just want to follow my own drummer Psychiatrist But there ARE no drummers in Hamlet. Oh, I know. . .we can get different court musicians. Hamlet I don’t WANT court musicians. I don’t like them or their music. Ever since that unfortunate incident with the girl, the tapestry, and that blasted candle. Psychiatrist Oh. Well, how about jazz musicians? Hamlet (irritably) No. Can’t stand them either. And that genre's been shot to hell ever since Katrina. Psychiatrist Good point. How about Beethoven? Hamlet Please. The man couldn’t even hear his own music, how could he know what it sounded like? Terrible stuff. Psychiatrist The Beatles? Hamlet With Ringo as their drummer? You’ve got to be kidding me. Psychiatrist ‘Oh, what a noble mind is here o’erthrown!’ Hamlet (Indignantly) Here now, that’s enough of that. Not every one has to like the Beatles, you know. Psychiatrist ‘Oh, help him, you sweet heavens!’ Hamlet (Pounding his fist into his palm) Cut it out, or else! Psychiatrist ‘Heavenly powers, restore him!’ Hamlet OK, that’s it! (He pulls out sword, and pokes Psychiatrist) I’m getting a second opinion! (leaves) Psychiatrist (Falling over) ‘Oh, I die, Horatio. The potent poison quite o’ercrows my spirit!’ (slumps over) (Sits back up) Oh, wait, I missed a bit. ‘The rest . .. .is . . . silence . . .’ (Dies) Let me know what you think. Schindler |
| We're all mad here! | |
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| DivaDeb | Jul 31 2006, 05:48 PM Post #2 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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BRILLIANT!!!!! :lol: |
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12:15 AM Jul 11