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2 B or not 2 B; thats teh ?
Topic Started: Jul 31 2006, 05:44 PM (117 Views)
schindler
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Fulla-Carp
I wrote this a while ago, and I was going through some of my older files when I stumbled on it. I decided to post it, just because.

Sign: Hamlet in the 21st century
Sign: By Caleb Caldwell
Sign: Act One

A limousine pulls up to the curb and Hamlet, dressed in full regalia, gets out, waves away microphones and cameras and enters office.
Hamlet
(lies down on couch) You have to help me, Doctor. It's just that everywhere I
go it's the same old thing. All anyone wants me to say is `To be or not to
be ...'
Psychiatrist
`... that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the
slings and arrows of outrageous ...'
Hamlet
(quickly) Yes, it's either that, or `Oh that this too solid flesh would melt
....'
Psychiatrist
(taking over) `... would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew. Or that
the everlasting had not fixed his canon 'gainst self slaughter ...'
Hamlet
Yes. All that sort of thing. And I'm just getting really fed up. You dig?
Psychiatrist
Ah. ‘It hath made thee mad. . .?’
Hamlet
Yeah. That’s it.
Psychiatrist
(picking up a skull) Good, we’re making progress. Now do the bit about `Alas
poor Yorrick ...'
Hamlet
No. I'm sick of it! I want to do something else. I want to make something of
my life.
Psychiatrist
No. I don't know that bit.
Hamlet
I want to get away from all that. Be different.
Psychiatrist
Are you trying to change the script?
Hamlet
No, I just want to follow my own drummer
Psychiatrist
But there ARE no drummers in Hamlet. Oh, I know. . .we can get different
court musicians.
Hamlet
I don’t WANT court musicians. I don’t like them or their music. Ever since
that unfortunate incident with the girl, the tapestry, and that blasted
candle.
Psychiatrist
Oh. Well, how about jazz musicians?
Hamlet
(irritably) No. Can’t stand them either. And that genre's been shot to hell ever since Katrina.
Psychiatrist
Good point. How about Beethoven?
Hamlet
Please. The man couldn’t even hear his own music, how could he know what it
sounded like? Terrible stuff.
Psychiatrist
The Beatles?
Hamlet
With Ringo as their drummer? You’ve got to be kidding me.
Psychiatrist
‘Oh, what a noble mind is here o’erthrown!’
Hamlet
(Indignantly) Here now, that’s enough of that. Not every one has to like the
Beatles, you know.
Psychiatrist
‘Oh, help him, you sweet heavens!’
Hamlet
(Pounding his fist into his palm) Cut it out, or else!
Psychiatrist
‘Heavenly powers, restore him!’
Hamlet
OK, that’s it! (He pulls out sword, and pokes Psychiatrist) I’m getting a
second opinion! (leaves)
Psychiatrist
(Falling over) ‘Oh, I die, Horatio. The potent poison quite o’ercrows my
spirit!’ (slumps over) (Sits back up) Oh, wait, I missed a bit. ‘The rest .
.. .is . . . silence . . .’ (Dies)



Let me know what you think.

Schindler




We're all mad here!
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DivaDeb
HOLY CARP!!!
BRILLIANT!!!!!

:clap:


:lol:
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