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I'm sick of junk mail!; ...and I'm thinking of fighting back!
Topic Started: Jun 8 2006, 03:14 AM (159 Views)
phykell
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Senior Carp
What do you think?

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your offer of life insurance. Fortunately I already have a sufficient level of cover from my employer.

Please find enclosed an invoice for the sum of £10 which covers the cost of me opening your unsolicited communication, reading your sales leaflet and disposing of the envelope and its contents. Please note that I have made no charge for the drafting of this letter and associated postage costs but I reserve to do so in future.

Regards,

Mr A Consumer
The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated. - Ghandhi

Evil cannot be conquered in the world. It can only be resisted within oneself.

Remember, bones heal and chicks dig scars
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***musical princess***
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HOLY CARP!!!
:sombrero:

I think you should send it.

x
x Caroline x
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Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
Take every piece of junk mail that comes with a postage-paid envelope, seal the empty envelope, and return it to the sender.
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

"Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous

"Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011

I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14
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***musical princess***
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HOLY CARP!!!
Dewey
Jun 8 2006, 12:22 PM
Take every piece of junk mail that comes with a postage-paid envelope, seal the empty envelope, and return it to the sender.

That's a brilliant idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol:

x
x Caroline x
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phykell
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Senior Carp
Dewey
Jun 8 2006, 11:22 AM
Take every piece of junk mail that comes with a postage-paid envelope, seal the empty envelope, and return it to the sender.

I've done that before, including stuffing extra paper in and taping it all up to ensure they get charged extra but I'd rather have £10 per pop TBH :D
The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated. - Ghandhi

Evil cannot be conquered in the world. It can only be resisted within oneself.

Remember, bones heal and chicks dig scars
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Riley
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HOLY CARP!!!
Andy Rooney's tips for telemarketers

Three Little Words That Work

(1) The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!

(3) Junk Mail Help:

When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before! the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.

Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 37 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea!

If enough people follow these tips, it will work — I have been doing this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore.
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Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
Appropriate to the direction this thread has taken, I got this email today; maybe you've seen it before.

=======

Telemarketing Revenge

The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I
answered it, I was greeted with, "Is this Karl Brummer?" -- Not
sounding
anything like my name, I asked who was calling.

The telemarketer said he was with 'The Rubber Band Powered Freezer
Company' or something like that. Then I asked him if he knew Karl
personally and why he was calling this number. I then said off to the
side, "Get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood
smears."

I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had
connected with a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had
already traced the call and he would most likely be issued a summons to
testify in this murder case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone
number at home and at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead
guy,
and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this
call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned, and his answers were given
in a shaky voice. I then told him that we had located his position and
the police would be entering the building to take him into custody for
more questioning. At that point, I heard the phone drop and the
scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me, as I returned to the table, why I had tears streaming
down my face, and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about 15 minutes.
My meal was cold, but it was the best meal I had eaten in a long, long
time.
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

"Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous

"Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011

I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14
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kenny
HOLY CARP!!!
Dewey you are Bad! :lol2:
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George K
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Finally
http://www.junkbusters.com/

It works, it really does.
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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iainhp
Middle Aged Carp

OK - so when you get postage paid envelopes you can put a new address over the address on the envelope and use them. Evidently this works even with the non stamped, postage to a number type envelopes. I heard a woman say she was fed up with junk mail so she started reusing the envelopes and was grateful for the free postage.

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