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Speaking of stay at home mothers
Topic Started: May 15 2006, 06:24 AM (723 Views)
John D'Oh
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MAMIL
It might not be that good for your health, which in the long run might not be that good for your kids, eh?

Working mothers are healthier
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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katie
Fulla-Carp
"Experts followed 1,200 women from 15 to 54 in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health study. "
I like reading stuff like this John ... the number of women followed is impressive; the journal is credible. I'd like to search up the entire study.

"It shows that we probably should be supporting women to be able to be part of the labour market as well as mothers."

"And it gives the message that the long-term health benefits of being a working mother outweigh the short-term stress."

.... My gosh ... really ??? ... more women away from their families ???

AND

"There has been an argument that women who juggle work and motherhood don't have time to eat well, and that they have a lot of fast food.

"But they are probably running on adrenalin a lot of the time, and are always moving around.

"At the end of the day, you are what you eat and how much you exercise."

WHAT needs to be examined further is STRESS as a variable with & between both groups of women. STRESS too is a major risk factor for many health related problems, as we all know.

I DON"T know what to make of the conclusions though. It is an entirely different thing to make these generalisations based on these conclusions.

JMO, ... I believe stay-at-home mommies need to chill out way more, effect change in their 'stay-at-home-roles', and cultivate ample emotional and physical support from their own families (I'm talking hubbies, kids, grandparents, etc.) in order to prioritize exercise and rest in their lives. Yes, easy for me to say ... b/c in practice it's real hard to do !!! But, as a start point, this means discarding the stereotypical notion of parental and marital self-sacrifice and martrydom that's still re-enforced by hubbies, working mommies and our very own parents (our memories of our own mommies & grandmas still haunt some of us, don't they?).

I'm a stay-at home mommy who became obese, and suffered a few serious health problems becuse of it. I learned the hard way. Exercise and nutrition are at the top of my 'to do list' now, each day.

IMO Stay-at-home mommies must start ditching the guilt associated with "doing for ourselves", and just "get out & do it" ... so to speak.

:)

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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
Personally, I never got this debate. Should there be one? If you want to work, then g'ahead. If you want to stay home and raise you child because you think that's best, then that's fine too. But I don't buy into the idea that your relationship with your child will suffer if you work. IMO, there's no "better" or "worse" here.
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
Aqua Letifer
May 15 2006, 11:38 AM
Personally, I never got this debate. Should there be one? If you want to work, then g'ahead. If you want to stay home and raise you child because you think that's best, then that's fine too. But I don't buy into the idea that your relationship with your child will suffer if you work. IMO, there's no "better" or "worse" here.

Bingo.
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Phlebas
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Bull-Carp
Aqua Letifer
May 15 2006, 07:38 AM
Personally, I never got this debate. Should there be one? If you want to work, then g'ahead. If you want to stay home and raise you child because you think that's best, then that's fine too. But I don't buy into the idea that your relationship with your child will suffer if you work. IMO, there's no "better" or "worse" here.

Some people would have you believe that there's a one-size-fits-all model of a family unit.
Random FML: Today, I was fired by my boss in front of my coworkers. It would have been nice if I could have left the building before they started celebrating. FML

The founding of the bulk of the world's nation states post 1914 is based on self-defined nationalisms. The bulk of those national movements involve territory that was ethnically mixed. The foundation of many of those nation states involved population movements in the aftermath. When the only one that is repeatedly held up as unjust and unjustifiable is the Zionist project, the term anti-semitism may very well be appropriate. - P*D


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sue
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HOLY CARP!!!
Aqua Letifer
May 15 2006, 08:38 AM
Personally, I never got this debate.  Should there be one?  If you want to work, then g'ahead.  If you want to stay home and raise you child because you think that's best, then that's fine too.  But I don't buy into the idea that your relationship with your child will suffer if you work.  IMO, there's no "better" or "worse" here.

Yes!

I think we need to remember we are talking about people here, and we are all different. What works for one family, isn't necessarily going to be right for another. Different personalities, personal needs of both child and parents......there is no right or wrong.
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Jolly
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Geaux Tigers!
Phlebas
May 15 2006, 10:17 AM
Aqua Letifer
May 15 2006, 07:38 AM
Personally, I never got this debate.  Should there be one?  If you want to work, then g'ahead.  If you want to stay home and raise you child because you think that's best, then that's fine too.  But I don't buy into the idea that your relationship with your child will suffer if you work.  IMO, there's no "better" or "worse" here.

Some people would have you believe that there's a one-size-fits-all model of a family unit.

Perhaps not.

But there should be an ideal to strive for....
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
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LWpianistin
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HOLY CARP!!!
Aqua Letifer
May 15 2006, 07:38 AM
Personally, I never got this debate. Should there be one? If you want to work, then g'ahead. If you want to stay home and raise you child because you think that's best, then that's fine too. But I don't buy into the idea that your relationship with your child will suffer if you work. IMO, there's no "better" or "worse" here.

agreed
And how are you today?
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Phlebas
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Bull-Carp
Jolly
May 15 2006, 08:35 AM
Phlebas
May 15 2006, 10:17 AM
Aqua Letifer
May 15 2006, 07:38 AM
Personally, I never got this debate.  Should there be one?  If you want to work, then g'ahead.  If you want to stay home and raise you child because you think that's best, then that's fine too.  But I don't buy into the idea that your relationship with your child will suffer if you work.  IMO, there's no "better" or "worse" here.

Some people would have you believe that there's a one-size-fits-all model of a family unit.

Perhaps not.

But there should be an ideal to strive for....

I would not necessarily call it an ideal. I would call it a balance. That balance is individual, and depends on a lot of variables.
Random FML: Today, I was fired by my boss in front of my coworkers. It would have been nice if I could have left the building before they started celebrating. FML

The founding of the bulk of the world's nation states post 1914 is based on self-defined nationalisms. The bulk of those national movements involve territory that was ethnically mixed. The foundation of many of those nation states involved population movements in the aftermath. When the only one that is repeatedly held up as unjust and unjustifiable is the Zionist project, the term anti-semitism may very well be appropriate. - P*D


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AlbertaCrude
Bull-Carp
Jolly
May 15 2006, 08:35 AM
But there should be an ideal to strive for....

This one?

Posted Image
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
AlbertaCrude
May 15 2006, 12:49 PM
Jolly
May 15 2006, 08:35 AM
But there should be an ideal to strive for....

This one?

Posted Image

She's overcooked those sausages horribly, and I believe those rolls are white rather than wholewheat, so no. Still, at least she was decent enough to close the cupboard door so you can't see the bottle of cheap gin tucked in amongst the Playboy magazines.
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
Jolly
May 15 2006, 08:35 AM

Perhaps not.

But there should be an ideal to strive for....

Well that's understandable, but I think a lot of it has to do with upbringing. People may be brought up with a very traditional family, and be well taken care of, and so they believe this is the "best" or "ideal" way to go about a family structure.

I'm no different, either. Due to where I've grown up and my mother's occupations over the years, I only witnessed only a small handful of families that could be labeled as "traditional". Divorced parents, working moms, only one parent, no parents, etc... Based on personal experience, I see no general trend between the outcome of an individual (or the family in general), and the environment they had at home. Not only that, but for most of us, life spits out a fair amount of curveballs. In my humble 23-year-old opinion, it's a better plan to be flexible to the needs of the situation, and be open to any and all possibilities, rather than to force-fit yourself into a mold that may not be the best for you and yours.
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
Posted Image
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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sue
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HOLY CARP!!!
Aqua Letifer
May 15 2006, 10:03 AM
In my humble 23-year-old opinion, it's a better plan to be flexible to the needs of the situation, and be open to any and all possibilities, rather than to force-fit yourself into a mold that may not be the best for you and yours.

:thumb:
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
sue
May 15 2006, 01:08 PM
Aqua Letifer
May 15 2006, 10:03 AM
In my humble 23-year-old opinion, it's a better plan to be flexible to the needs of the situation, and be open to any and all possibilities, rather than to force-fit yourself into a mold that may not be the best for you and yours.

:thumb:

Isn't it a shame that people are so complicated. Life would be so much simpler if everyone except for me was a mindless drone. It might be a bit boring after a while, I guess.
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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DivaDeb
HOLY CARP!!!
Oh no! I must be an unhealthy fat chick.

I believe everything I read.

I will get a job right away and find somebody else to look after these damn kids.

:silly:

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Jolly
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Geaux Tigers!
Benchmarks.

We have them in business.

We have them in other areas of our personal lives.

Why can't we benchmark families?
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
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AlbertaCrude
Bull-Carp
And just who or what is professionally qualified to benchmark families?

Perhaps we just set up something like an ISO quality control/ quality assurance standard as a model?
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
Jolly
May 15 2006, 03:05 PM
Benchmarks.

We have them in business.

We have them in other areas of our personal lives.

Why can't we benchmark families?

No reason at all, but the benchmark needs to be flexible, just as it is in business.

The Morgan Motor Company (hand built sports cars) in the UK wouldn't, and shouldn't, be run in the same way as Toyota. They're both successful companies, but very different. Who's to say which company is better?
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
I'm assuming that one of these companies sends a higher quality product out the door.
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

"Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous

"Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011

I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
Dewey
May 15 2006, 03:18 PM
I'm assuming that one of these companies sends a higher quality product out the door.

Well, it's kind of hard to say. Morgan's probably aren't nearly as reliable as a typical Toyota, but then again Toyota doesn't have a six month backlog of work, and Morgan can charge considerably more for one of their little numbers.

Which would you rather be driving:

a) On a sunny day.

b) With 5 children in the rain.

Posted Image

Posted Image

Which is the better business? Which is the better car?

Edit - to take the analogy one stage further, I'm sure by conventional metrics, Toyota would be seen as a much safer investment for shareholders. However, which company do you suppose has the happier, more motivated workforce?
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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DivaDeb
HOLY CARP!!!
John...are you asking which mother is better with with five children in the rain?


:unsure:
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
DivaDeb
May 15 2006, 04:03 PM
John...are you asking which mother is better with with five children in the rain? 


:unsure:

The lower-maintenance, less glamourous, reliable one, without the cut-off and revealing upper garments of course.

:leaving:
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katie
Fulla-Carp
Heh ...
And this is what I bought ... with the 4WD, sunroof, easy to wipe off heated leather, the tunes toy, the flip up back seats for the kid's bike (or whatever), and the bathtub sized in-bed trunk that could double as one huge cooler (or whatever).
Posted Image
Heh, am I'm sounding like Kenny & his vehicle?
Nah ... Nope.

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dolmansaxlil
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HOLY CARP!!!
Aqua - kudos to you. Both of the statements you've made in this thread have been extremely mature (especially given that you don't have kids, so you haven't yet had to come to the stark realization that no matter what the intentions, you just can't plan every aspect of how they'll be raised).

Working in a school, especially in one with such a wide range of socio-economic and family situations, I've realized that how kids turn out depends on so many factors - and if the child has a family who loves them and set reasonable limits is much more likely to do well in school, be happier in general, and have a balanced life. It doesn't seem to be dependent on having a mum and dad at home, or on who works and who doesn't, or on how much money they have. Some of the parents at my school SHOULD split up for the good of the kids. Some of our "best" parents (and consequently best kids) come from divorced homes (notice I didn't say "broken" - these parents still have a partnership where their kids are concerned), some of the "best" kids come from our poorest families. And yes, some of them come from the picture perfect home where daddy holds a good job and mommy stays home with the kids. On the other hand, we also have kids from those same "perfect" families who are our worst trouble makers - we had two cops arrive to pay a visit to two of those kids from "perfect" homes just today. There is no "perfect" when it comes to families.
"Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst." ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson

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