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Broaden Your Vocabulary
Topic Started: May 14 2006, 02:05 PM (109 Views)
justme
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HOLY CARP!!!
I don't know if someone's already posted this or not. If so, I'm sorry...

I received this in an email today. I thought it was pretty good.

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.


Here are the 2005 winners


1. Cashtration ( n ) : The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.


2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.


3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a
hillbilly.


4. Bozone ( n ) : The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.


5. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.


6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very
high.


7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of
sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.


8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.


9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.


10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. ( This one got extra credit. )


11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is, like, sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.


12. Decafalon ( n ) : The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good for you.


13. Glibido: All talk and no action.


14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.


15. Arachnoleptic fit ( n ) : The frantic dance you
perform just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.


16. Beelzebug ( n ) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bed room at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.


17. Caterpallor ( n ) : The color you turn after
finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


And the pick of the literature:


18. Ignoranus: A person who's stupid and an
axxhole
"Men sway more towards hussies." G-D3
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George K
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Finally
Justme,

That's one of my favorite stories. I use those at work frequently (especially Ignoranus). I was just thinking about this yesterday when I dropped some food on the kitchen floor and both dogs came running into the room to see who could get it first. They were so excited, and I came up with the perfect term for it:

"Dogasm" n. - that joy that your dog shows when he/she is able to get a morsel of food that you dropped.

(I actually came up with that one!)
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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justme
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HOLY CARP!!!
George K
May 14 2006, 06:18 PM


"Dogasm" n. - that joy that your dog shows when he/she is able to get a morsel of food that you dropped.

(I actually came up with that one!)

hey! That's pretty good.
"Men sway more towards hussies." G-D3
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George K
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Finally
In the spirit of clever words, here are alternative definitions to existing words:



abdicate (v), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. (applies to me)

balderdash (n), a rapidly receding hairline. (me too!)

carcinoma (n), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

circumvent (n), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

coffee (n), a person who is coughed upon.

esplanade (v), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

flabbergasted (adj), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

flatulence (n), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

gargoyle (n), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.

marionettes (n), residents of Washington DC who have been jerked around by the mayor.

negligent (adj), describes a condition where you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

oyster (n), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

rectitude (n), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

semantics (n), pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before mass.

testicle (n), a humorous question on an exam.

willy-nilly (adj), impotent.
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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justme
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HOLY CARP!!!
willy-nilly (adj), impotent.

Hah! :lol:
"Men sway more towards hussies." G-D3
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dolmansaxlil
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HOLY CARP!!!
Ignoranus is one of my favourite "words". I use it all the time.

89th - that's actually quite clever!
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