Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to The New Coffee Room. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Things that go bump in the night.; Now, this is strange....
Topic Started: Apr 21 2006, 12:31 PM (246 Views)
Jolly
Member Avatar
Geaux Tigers!
http://www.dailytelegraph.news.com.au/stor...5001022,00.html
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ivorythumper
Member Avatar
I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
Sounds like it went more than just *bump*.
The dogma lives loudly within me.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mikhailoh
Member Avatar
If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
Was it a mistake, or was it initiative? We may never know.

But the moral of the story is... turn the light on and make sure.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
apple
one of the angels
idiots
it behooves me to behold
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
LWpianistin
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
they were both mistaken, so how can that be rape?!?! they're both idiots, but especially the woman. :rolleyes2:
And how are you today?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
AlbertaCrude
Bull-Carp
Funny I seem know instnctively to which is my toothbrush and which is not my toothbrush.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
katie
Fulla-Carp
When I was 16 I worked as a nursing aide in a nursing home.

A story ...

One night (b/t changing bed linen and diapers) I sat down at the nurses' station to wash out the medication cups (they were disposable but we re-used them). It's was a long boring job. Late at night, my ward was typically quiet except for the typical screaming of the typical screamers. Typically there too were a few wanderers that got up & went for a smoke, some paced, that stuff also. But anyway, Katie was washing her med cups when she sees Ms. Katherine (a nice proper lady by day) wander out from her room and down the hall towards Mr Stan's room for a little nooky (Mr. Stan was a polite friendly guy, but also a 24/7 masturbator). I was told this was a typical nightly thing with Ms. Katherine wandering out trying to visit Mr. Stan. [An aside ... but back when I was 16, I thought people stopped doing themselves & it after about age 30 .. Ha! What an idiot I was].

Anyway, I was always told just to turn Ms. Katherine around & point her back to the direction of her own room & she'd make it back into bed thinking that she'd porked Mr. Stan & would sleep well the rest of the night (And I liked it when the residents slept well the entire night). Sometimes she & I would talk about it (the porking that is) & this usually had a calming effect b/c Ms. Katherine would start to apologize profusely, thinking that she'd already porked him, feel either guilty or be happy about it, cry it out sometimes. But after some tea, she'd always get back into bed, and she'd say to me, "Thank you dear ... you won't tell, will you?" & fall quickly to asleep.

So I prepared to get up and turn around Ms. Katherine before she got to Mr. Stan's room. But I got interrupted by whatever ... and I was too late. Ms. Katherine had disappeared from the hall. So, I had to walk down to the end of the ward and figure out just how to to pull a 250 lb. Mr. Stan off a 90 lb. Ms. Katherine (Another aside ... I figured old people just did it in this position only]. How the heck was I (a 5'4" 120 lb. kid) going to pull a porky Mr. Stan off a tiny Ms. Katherine in the heat (gag) of their passion (gag)? Oh well. I was earning $3.50/hr afterall (with that generous ha! night shift bonus). So off I went ....

And I went looking here & there & everywhere. I just couldn't find the 80 yr old floozy.
She wasn't in Stan's room. Stan was simply snoring & masturba***g, as he always did.
She wasn't in Stan's bathroom.
She wasn't in the galley-way for her tea afterwards either.
She wasn't in her own room.
Yikes. I was worried for my job.
Now I had to search the residents' rooms. All the men's rooms. Because I figured Ms. Katherine needed it nightly and had another boyfriend.
This took up time. I was busy. I couldn't get behind. The real nurse (the RN in charge of the place) was a little drill sargeant and she was busy handing out meds to say all 160 of them.. She couldn't know. There was no help. I was responsible for 40 residents. The other aide had 40 more on her side of the building. Hmmm, I couldn't find her....

Then I heard screaming. Not typical screaming from a typical screamer either.
It was coming from the last resident's room.
It was Ms. Katherine.
So off I went....

She was upset. She was crying. She was porking someone else. And that someone else wouldn't let off. That someone else was a .... Miss Elsie. Miss Eslie was a spinster. She weighed in at about 250 lbs. And Miss Elsie Spinster was on top ... .

So I had to break it up. I figured I wouldn't turn on the lights. Hard to describe my thoughts. It was more shock than anything else. But I think I didn't want Miss Elsie Spinster knowing she was on top of a woman. And I wasn't too sure if Ms. Katherine knew that Mr. Stan wasn't on top of her. Yet she was screaming like this was a stranger. It didn't sound like passion (like I actually understood about passion being only 16 at the time). But then again, I wasn't sure if Katherine & Stan had actually ever done it & what 80 yr olds were supposed to sound like. GEEZ ... Like I WAS ONLY 16 AT THE TIME ... MUCH TOO YOUNG for any of this!

So ... I separated the 2 of them and told Miss Elsie Spinster she had to go back to sleep. I took Ms. Katherine down to the galley. She apologized profusely for being "such a bad, bad girl", like she always did. She felt guilty for doing it, like she always did. She had some tea, like she always did. And I had to promise not to tell, like I always did. And then .... I got the strange feeling that Ms. Katherine didn't really remember who she was in bed with, or if she'd been in bed with anyone, ever.

I scrambled to finish my work. To get everyone changed, and keep the linens all dry. The med cups were still wet by morning & I had to explain that to the day shift RN. During my last rounds I saw that Mr. Stan was fast asleep, still with his hands in his pjs. Miss Elsie Spinster was sleeping flat on her big belly, snoring away. I wondered if, by chance, Miss Elsie & Mr Stan had ever found each other in the middle of the night. Like ... what would this be like? Later, I thought not .... b/c those darn twin hospital beds would have collapsed with 500 lbs on them.

Life was less complex when I was a nursing aide. I learned a lot about old folks working where I did. I still think I should've got more than $3.50/hr on night shift.

:)

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ivorythumper
Member Avatar
I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
You should have gotten combat pay. :lol:
The dogma lives loudly within me.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
« Previous Topic · The New Coffee Room · Next Topic »
Add Reply