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| Simple Home Remedies | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 22 2006, 10:24 PM (115 Views) | |
| George K | Mar 22 2006, 10:24 PM Post #1 |
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Finally
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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan! |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| mirabilis | Mar 22 2006, 11:25 PM Post #2 |
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Junior Carp
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Danke, Herr Doktor !
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| George K | Mar 23 2006, 04:38 AM Post #3 |
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Finally
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I neglected the dermatologist's mantra: If it's dry, make it wet If it's wet, keep it dry |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| Shammy | Mar 23 2006, 04:41 AM Post #4 |
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Middle Aged Carp
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How does this apply in a sexual context? |
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I'd rather fall into chocolate. | |
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| George K | Mar 23 2006, 04:46 AM Post #5 |
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Finally
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I don't know, I'm not a dermatologist. |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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11:29 AM Jul 11