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| Have you ever tried bestiality? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 21 2006, 09:47 AM (2,001 Views) | |
| John D'Oh | Mar 21 2006, 09:47 AM Post #1 |
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MAMIL
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Be honest, now. |
| What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket? | |
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| kenny | Mar 21 2006, 09:48 AM Post #2 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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:lol: :lol: |
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| JBryan | Mar 21 2006, 09:52 AM Post #3 |
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I am the grey one
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Why, how dare you ask such a question. I was just helping that sheep through the fence. Really. |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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| George K | Mar 21 2006, 09:54 AM Post #4 |
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Finally
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MUST. NOT. POST. JOKES. HERE.....
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| kenny | Mar 21 2006, 09:57 AM Post #5 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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JB, bet ya didn't know that I had a camera.
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| JBryan | Mar 21 2006, 10:05 AM Post #6 |
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I am the grey one
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Oh my, it appears as though I have something stuck in my teeth. How embarassing. |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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| M&M's | Mar 21 2006, 10:09 AM Post #7 |
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Fulla-Carp
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| My child shows GOOD CHARACTERIZATION in an ongoing game of D&D | |
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| Improviso | Mar 21 2006, 10:12 AM Post #8 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Well, a couple months back there was this court trial. A man was being tried for fornicating with a sheep, since that's illegal an' all. Anyway, the key witness was an old fella who was walking along the highway by the farm where the sheep was raised. The prosecutor asked the witness what he saw: "Well, I was walkin' along, and saw this sheep just'a eatin' grass. And then this fella walks up from behind the sheep, real quiet-like." "And then what?" asked the prosecutor. "Then he unbuckled his belt, and pulled the sheep close." "And what happened after that?" "Well," said the witness, "they sorta shook for a couple of minutes. THEN, afterwards, the sheep turned around... an' licked him!" Just then one of the members of the jury leaned over to the jury member next to him and said, "You know... a good sheep'll do that." |
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Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism. We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. | |
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| ycul | Mar 21 2006, 10:20 AM Post #9 |
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Junior Carp
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4748292.stm Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal. The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders. They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi. "We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said. Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat. "When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up". Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case. "They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper. |
| How now, brown cow. | |
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| DivaDeb | Mar 21 2006, 10:21 AM Post #10 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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you asked for it... A city slicker was driving down a rural highway when he ran out of gas. He was walking along the road to find a gas station when he spied a young boy sitting on a fence. "Son...how far to a filling station?" "Not too long, sir" As the city man looked out over the peaceful pasture he saw...yes...he squinted and shook his head, but it was still there...he was not mistaken, he clearly saw a man doing the big nasty with a particularly plush sheep. "Boy, don't look. That freak should be shot" "That's no freak Sir, that's just my daaaaaaaaaaaaad"
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| Kincaid | Mar 21 2006, 10:22 AM Post #11 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Pre-brokeback joke: A grizzled old shepherd had a novice partner. After a few months in the mountains, with no other human contact, the young man said how much he missed being with a woman and asked how the old man dealt with the loneliness. "Well", said the veteran, "What you do is pick yourself out one of them sheep and have your way with her." The young shepherd selected a big ewe and took her behind their shack and began. Right as he was about to climax he heard the old man laughing hysterically. "What are you laughin' at, old timer?! I'm just doing what you said!" The wizened old man said, "Sure, I just didn't think you'd choose such an ugly one!" |
| Kincaid - disgusted Republican Partisan since 2006. | |
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| George K | Mar 21 2006, 10:28 AM Post #12 |
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Finally
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(the person who sent this to me knows who s/he is. Thanks!) A young Amish boy, Little Johnny, is sitting on his bed reading the Bible. Suddenly his father storms in, grabs him, and drags him out into the pasture. In the pasture is one sheep chewing grass. His father points to the sheep and says, "Thou hast had sex with yon sheep!" Little Johnny kneels and says, "Father forgive me for I did indeed spill my seed in yon lowly beast." Saddened, his father says, "Thou art forgiven my son. But know this... there will be REAL trouble if I taste it again." |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| Improviso | Mar 21 2006, 10:31 AM Post #13 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Two cowboys are riding the range when they come upon a sheep with it's head caught in a fence, one cowboy looks at the other and says " I can't pass that up" He gets off his horse and bangs the sheep, as he finishes up he looks at his friend and asks, "you want some of this?" his friend" replies "you freakin crazy? I ain't putting my head in that fence!" |
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Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism. We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. | |
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| George K | Mar 21 2006, 10:34 AM Post #14 |
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Finally
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A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits an English farmer. "So, English farmer, how do you shag your sheep?" "Well,I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall." "That's very interesting,"replies the researcher and he leaves the English farmer.Then he meets an Australian farmer. "So, Australian farmer, how do you shag your sheep?" "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall." "That's very interesting," replies the researcher, "That's how they do it in England too. "And he leaves the Australian farmer. Then he meets a farmer from New Zealand. "So, kiwi farmer, how do you shag your sheep?" "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and I take the front legs of the sheep and put them over my shoulders." "Over your shoulders?" replies the researcher, "Don't you put them over a wall like everyone else?" "What? says the farmer," and miss out on all the kissing?" |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| sue | Mar 21 2006, 10:35 AM Post #15 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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| John D'Oh | Mar 21 2006, 10:40 AM Post #16 |
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MAMIL
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| What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket? | |
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| kenny | Mar 21 2006, 10:40 AM Post #17 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Sue I get the dreaded Red X. Try again. Don't be sheepish. |
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| The 89th Key | Mar 21 2006, 10:40 AM Post #18 |
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I'm just waiting for someone to say their ex-wife was a bitch.
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| John D'Oh | Mar 21 2006, 10:41 AM Post #19 |
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MAMIL
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| What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket? | |
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| sue | Mar 21 2006, 10:44 AM Post #20 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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hmm, it was an animation. Maybe I didn't copy it properly? It's from here Sheep smoking |
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| ***musical princess*** | Mar 21 2006, 10:44 AM Post #21 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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x |
| x Caroline x | |
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| Improviso | Mar 21 2006, 10:45 AM Post #22 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Y'all are a baaaaaaad influence on me. Q: Where does virgin wool come from? A: Ugly sheep! Q: What's the difference between a sheep and a Yugo? A: It's marginally less embarrassing being seen getting out of the back of a sheep. Q: How do you get a sheep to push harder? A: Face it toward a cliff. Q: Did you know that they've just discovered two new uses for sheep? A: Meat and wool. |
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Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism. We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. | |
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| ivorythumper | Mar 21 2006, 10:47 AM Post #23 |
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
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I remember seeing a license plate in Berkeley that said "DOG MTN". It seemed rather ambiguous.... |
| The dogma lives loudly within me. | |
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| George K | Mar 21 2006, 11:15 AM Post #24 |
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Finally
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| FrankM | Mar 21 2006, 12:09 PM Post #25 |
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Senior Carp
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i just don't see what's supposed to be so funny here. |
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11:30 AM Jul 11