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| What is wrong with some people?; ...common courtesy. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 9 2006, 08:04 AM (965 Views) | |
| The 89th Key | Mar 9 2006, 08:04 AM Post #1 |
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A few things that have bugged me lately: I'm a pretty fast walker, but is it that just some people can't tell when someone's behind them and they walk REALLY slow. I'm not talking about elderly folks, but just an average adult...for example today I was leaving my apartment and I was behind someone on the sidewalk...someone I walked out with so they knew I was there, yet they walked really slow on the sidewalk...can't they tell I'm behind them? Do they not have that sixth sense? Or holding a door for someone. Last night I was walking INTO my apartment building and someone was behind me by about 10 feet, so as we walk up to the door, I open it and turn around to hold it for the person behind me and she suddenly is like "oh wow! and jogs the 10 feet" so that I'm not waiting there holding the door for a while. I mean...didn't she SEE this coming? If you're behind someone by about 10-15 feet and you're both walking to the same building...wouldn't you time it so that you both get to the door at near the same time so you can have a seamless "handoff" holding the door? Also, I HATE it when I hold the door for someone, and I stand there for 5 seconds holding it for them, they go through and say NOTHING. No nod, no thanks, nothing! I just dont get some people...think ahead people! And say please and thank you! It's not that hard!!!!!! ...just venting.
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| schindler | Mar 9 2006, 08:06 AM Post #2 |
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Fulla-Carp
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XBox doesn't teach me how to be polite. It's not my fault. I'm a victim! |
| We're all mad here! | |
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| Aqua Letifer | Mar 9 2006, 08:12 AM Post #3 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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Ahh, I get it. You only do these "good deeds" for personal gratification. IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, YA P.O.S.!!! Seriously though, that bugs me, too. On the whole, I think people are pretty average about courtesy, with a wide range above and below. (For example, on the beltway into work, you can see some pretty reckless stuff. Most times, it doesn't come from bad drivers, which would mean they don't have the skills to drive better. They simply just don't give a sh!t.) Kill 'em with kindness, I say! Belt out a very warm, hearty you're welcome! when they go through the door! |
| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| kenny | Mar 9 2006, 08:15 AM Post #4 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Ding Ding Ding You hit the nail on the head. Parents - control what your kids are exposed to. |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 9 2006, 08:18 AM Post #5 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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89th, until I read your post, I thought I was the manners Nazi. You now wear the crown. Is it at all possible that these people were simply preoccupied with thoughts having nothing to do with these things? Lighten up, son. |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Larry | Mar 9 2006, 08:18 AM Post #6 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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And sad to say, don't let them get near any little old blue haired grannie women...... |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| The 89th Key | Mar 9 2006, 08:23 AM Post #7 |
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Aqua...good call with the "You're Welcome" (with a big smile) as a response to their rude indifference. Mik, I usually don't care, but the last two days have been bad. I dunno...I guess I am acting righteous or something, but I hold myself to a higher standard. I try to time things out to make sure it's not awkward for the other person, or I'll say thank you......but the last few days I've had a string of people just act like rude jackasses and it makes me not only not want to hold the door for them in the future, but possible release it at just the right time so that when they get to the door, it's uncomfortably shutting in their face!!!
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| JBryan | Mar 9 2006, 08:26 AM Post #8 |
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I am the grey one
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You must go into convulsions when someone cuts you off in traffic. |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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| Aqua Letifer | Mar 9 2006, 08:27 AM Post #9 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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That's why I LOVE having a 2-door system for most buildings (and I suppose this is to keep in heat?) Anyways, if they drop the ball with the courtesy the first time and don't acknowledge you're holding the door open for them, slam the second one shut! |
| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| kenny | Mar 9 2006, 08:28 AM Post #10 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Other people suck. Accept this. Get used to it, and go play your piano. You will have a happier life. |
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| The 89th Key | Mar 9 2006, 08:29 AM Post #11 |
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That would require them to be going faster than me.
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| Fizzygirl | Mar 9 2006, 08:29 AM Post #12 |
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Fulla-Carp
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In my parents generation and my generation, we were actually taught ettiquette and manners in regard to door holding, saying please and thank you, and being thoughtful and gracious to others. Although I have tried to teach these things to my kids, I find an enormous lack of politeness among generation X kids and younger. I think some of these things have fallen by the wayside in our fast moving, computer generated world. I actually was 'required' to take a course in manners back when I was about 12 or 13 that was given by my church. The woman who taught the class was quite eccentric, but made it fun to learn all the ins and outs of proper ettiquette. The boys were taught to hold doors and pull out chairs for women, and we were taught how to introduce people to one another. We were also taught to give our elders the utmost respect.....something which the current generation doesn't seem to uphold. We were even taught proper silverware placement at the table and which fork to use for salad or main course etc. Good manners seems to be a lost art with the younger crowd......an art form that I think should be reinstated. It might make us more compassionate and patient with our friends and neighbors. |
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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. ~ Garrison Keillor My latest videos. | |
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| kenny | Mar 9 2006, 08:32 AM Post #13 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Young people see all that as not cool. |
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| Aqua Letifer | Mar 9 2006, 08:37 AM Post #14 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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This sounds really familiar. Did we have a thread like this just a little while ago? Anyway, either with this issue or something else, somebody said something like "don't get offended unless there's intent to offend." Prob'ly applies quite nice here. |
| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| JBryan | Mar 9 2006, 08:38 AM Post #15 |
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I am the grey one
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I would prefer it if they were going faster than me. |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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| DivaDeb | Mar 9 2006, 08:56 AM Post #16 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Excellent opportunity to demonstrate your understanding of grace, Grasshopper. People are usually *not* thinking outside themselves. When you are, you are going against the tide. Continue that, no matter how unrewarding it seems. Virtue is it's own reward, you don't need acknowledgement or perks to make it worth continuing to behave well. If you wish to go fast and someone else is slow, say, "Excuse me," and go around them. You get to choose to be annoyed or not. Sometimes your ability to continue doing gracious and courteous things for the unappreciative brings opportunities. Unconditional love for all mankind is just that, unconditional. It takes a lot of self-discipline to practice love (in this case, maintaining a relaxed mental attitude toward a jerk) for the undeserving. You can do it. Just a thought...when you are in a hurry out the door and the person who is walking slowly is not...what makes you perturbed? What if you feel like crap one day...physically or emotionally...and you are walking slowly and not even realizing it. Ever had anything happen to you that hit you so hard that it was tough to put one foot in front of another? Maybe that is not the deal with the one in front of you today...but it might be, you really don't know. I was just a little bit younger than you are, Isaac, when my Dad died. Something happened that I'll never ever forget as long as I live. His memorial service was here in Kansas. But the family burial plots are in Oklahoma, so it was a long distance stretched out bit of difficult logistics and emotional wrenching just to get the formalities taken care of. When I packed my stuff to go to Oklahoma, I forgot to pack stockings for the service in Oklahoma so I had to stop at a mall and buy hose. People were shopping, smiling, laughing, running...normal. I was on an escalator going up, with tears streaming down my face and there were people everywhere laughing without a care in the world. I remember thinking..."Damn you...damn all of you. How dare you be happy when my Daddy is dead." No sooner had I acknowledged to myself that I was actually thinking that...than I realized how stupid I was, how unfair it was for me to think that other people should be sharing my grief. It didn't make me feel better to acknowledge my self-absorption, but it made me resent the disparity in our emotional condition a little less. That peculiar experience of being at emotional odds with the rest of the world has been something that really has stuck with me. Now, when someone else is wrapped up in their own thinking, whether it be due to grief, or fatigue, or because they have the day off and are enjoying a different pace than I am, I try to remember that time in my life when I was walking too slow, frowning when all around me were smiling. You know...there was even a clerk in the store I bought my hose in that said to me, "You're such a pretty girl, you should smile." I didn't tell him my Dad was gone, that would have made his day suck probably. But how silly of us to assume that other people should fit our ideas about how we feel today, how fast we want to go. Or whether we should smile. All this to say...keep opening doors. Whether they thank you or not. You may be opening a door for someone who has so little frame of reference for courtesy that they don't recognize it anymore. You may be opening a door for someone who is burdened to the point they don't even realize they've walked through an open door. You may be opening a door for an inconsiderate jerk. In the grand scheme of things...that doesn't make much difference. The worst thing you can let happen is to allow the responses (or lack of response) of jerks to make you callous. Keep doing things right and living well. Their jerk-hood is their own miserable problem, do not allow it to become yours by letting it affect how you feel, who you are, and what you know is a better way to behave. |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 9 2006, 09:00 AM Post #17 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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And they all hate gays too. C'mon, Kenny.. that is untrue. Young people tend to be impolite simply because they ARE young people and therefore largely self-centered. When they become adults and have to make a way in the world their upbringing comes out. My daughter has great manners. To everyone but her mother and I, mostly, but that;s OK. I call her on it when she needs it. |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| The 89th Key | Mar 9 2006, 09:03 AM Post #18 |
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![]() Thanks for the long post Deb, and good advice!
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| Phlebas | Mar 9 2006, 10:21 AM Post #19 |
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Bull-Carp
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...or you could just time it so the door closes in their face. Just kidding - . Good post.
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Random FML: Today, I was fired by my boss in front of my coworkers. It would have been nice if I could have left the building before they started celebrating. FML The founding of the bulk of the world's nation states post 1914 is based on self-defined nationalisms. The bulk of those national movements involve territory that was ethnically mixed. The foundation of many of those nation states involved population movements in the aftermath. When the only one that is repeatedly held up as unjust and unjustifiable is the Zionist project, the term anti-semitism may very well be appropriate. - P*D | |
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| Riley | Mar 9 2006, 12:50 PM Post #20 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Huh? I read that one a few times, and can't figure out what you mean... |
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| The 89th Key | Mar 9 2006, 01:18 PM Post #21 |
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Riley, I'm walking toward the front door of my apartment building, coming home from work. Before the door, you have to walk about 100 feet on a sidewalk leading up to the door. There was a person behind me, about 10 or 15 feet back, so as I got to the door, I turned around to hold the door open for this person, and she had to speed up and almost jog for a few steps to catch up. It was one of those things, where she was too close to NOT hold the door, but she was far enough where I had to stand there for a few seconds while she caught up. Generally not bad...but if you are walking behind me and KNOW we are going in the same door, you should generally speed up so that when I get to the door, you are right there for me to hold the door for you...instead of realizing AFTER I get to the door, thus making me stand at the door for a seconds while you jog to catch up. I dunno...sounds like a small thing, and it is...it just seems like some people might think ahead more, especially when you see it coming. Then again, maybe that person was just out of it...but that's a low probability. |
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| Aqua Letifer | Mar 9 2006, 01:22 PM Post #22 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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So, you're mad she didn't time her walk relative to yours so that you wouldn't have to hold the door open for her? |
| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| DivaDeb | Mar 9 2006, 01:35 PM Post #23 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Maybe her shoes hurt. Maybe she had the cramps. Maybe she didn't really want to go through the door at the same time as you did, but when she saw you holding it, she felt obligated enough by your gesture that she broke into a trot to spare you from having to wait on her for very long. Really minor inconvenience as a result of accomodating another human being should not cause you discomfort. Just relax. You need to learn to do this before you get a wife and have young uns. |
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| The 89th Key | Mar 9 2006, 01:35 PM Post #24 |
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Well I wouldn't say I'm mad. And I don't mind holding the door at all. It was just the long walk up to the door when she had the opportunity to speed up just a tad, so that when I actually got to the door and opened it, she would be right there for me to hold the door for her. Instead I opened it and she looked surprised and walked quickly as I held the door for her. My thought is that if she saw us approaching the door on the walk up, she should speed up just a bit so that we get there at the same time, instead of realizing at the last second. I dunno, I guess she just wasn't thinking ahead. |
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| Aqua Letifer | Mar 9 2006, 01:38 PM Post #25 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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Yeah, it's a funny thing, what happens when you settle down, get married and start a family; it appears you become a pretty ridiculously level-headed person. I suppose when you have to worry about mortgages, braces, and saving up for college, you start to not sweat the small stuff. And with that example, 89th, I'd chillax a bit. You're asking quite a lot if you expect someone to keep within 15 feet of you so that both your and her entry into the building goes smoothly. I mean geez, at least she noticed you were holding the door open for her and picked up her pace! |
| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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. Good post.

4:22 PM Jul 10