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| Little blue haired grannies; and various other musings..... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 8 2006, 09:40 PM (244 Views) | |
| Larry | Mar 8 2006, 09:40 PM Post #1 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Ah, I remember them well from my boyhood days. They were almost like extended family - little blue haired grannies, women you didn't even know, but who still made you feel safe and secure like they were your favorite aunt or something. They were everywhere! All of them had such sweet smiles, such gentle eyes, you could just tell by looking at them that they were the epitome of grace and manners, pure goodness and such ladies. They'd sit you on their lap and tell you stories, talk to you, listen with such attention that you just knew they understood everything you were saying. It was almost as if there were hundreds of grandmas out there just waiting to do grandma things for all the kids. As the years have passed I have always been fascinated at how the supply of these wonderful little old blue haired ladies just never seems to diminish - and it always made me feel good to know that the little blue haired ladies would always be there to give comfort and stability to future generations as they grew up in this uncertain world as they had been there for me growing up. What child cannot benefit from such a stabilizing, comforting, reassuring force as that offered by the matronly blue haired grannie? Well.......... I'm gonna need therapy!........ I went to Wallyworld today, and a little blue haired lady working a desk trying to sign people up for a Wallyworld card pinched my ass!!! She gave me "the look"!!!! You guys all know full well what I mean!! A little blue haired grannie pinched my ass and gave me "the look"!!!! Little blue haired grannies aren't supposed to do things like that - especially to me!! ACK!!!!!!!! ACK!!!!!!!!! I quickly scurried away, trying my best to gain my composure. I had to do something to cleanse my palate, and FAST!... The cute 30 something in the pharmacy section - that'd work. I rolled my cart down the aisle toward her, she looked up, smiled, gave me a quick checkover, then smiled again....... Ah....... that's better...... So I decided I'd stock up on a few things, and went to the soap section to get a few packs of Dove soap. As I was getting the soap I noticed a rack full of little black spray cans - they said "Axe" on the side of them. That made me think of the forums, so I picked up a can and read the label. "Axe deodorant body spray is the all-over body spray with effective deodorant protection and a long lasting fragrance designed to seduce the ladies" it read. Wow... I made a mental note not to get anywhere near the malfunctioning little blue haired lady with it..... It came in several different fragrances. The one I was holding was "Essence".... Then, the rest of the label....remember, it is designed to "seduce the ladies".... The label said....."If you spray it, they will come"...... Imagine that! "I'll bet Crashtest doesn't know about this stuff!" I said to myself.... So I sprayed a little on my arm. No ladies came, although there was one woman who looked a little flush there for a moment..... I'm never going to Wallyworld again. All I wanted was a box of fudgesickles, and I end up with a can of stuff that makes women come and got my ass pinched by a little old blue haired lady - neither of which is something I particularly wanted or need. And they didn't have any fudgesickles... |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| LWpianistin | Mar 8 2006, 10:07 PM Post #2 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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i'm sorry for your little-old-lady induced therapy session, but that story was HILARIOUS!! :lol: |
| And how are you today? | |
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| CrashTest | Mar 8 2006, 10:11 PM Post #3 |
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Pisa-Carp
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You spelled HILARIOUS wrong! You win the prize! |
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| LWpianistin | Mar 8 2006, 10:26 PM Post #4 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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well, i didn't notice. i'll go fix it just to make your attention starved soul happy. that's right....i went there.
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| And how are you today? | |
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| CrashTest | Mar 8 2006, 10:30 PM Post #5 |
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Pisa-Carp
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You win the prize for hurting my sensitive feelings! |
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| kenny | Mar 9 2006, 04:46 AM Post #6 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Larry, Face it. You are now a blue-haired little old gramp. Now spray on some Axe, put your teeth back in and go show that blue-hair WalMart babe the time of her life. |
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| phykell | Mar 9 2006, 05:49 AM Post #7 |
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Senior Carp
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First the story of incredible restraint at the checkout and now you're telling us *you* buy Dove soap? Come on, who are you trying to kid?
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The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated. - Ghandhi Evil cannot be conquered in the world. It can only be resisted within oneself. Remember, bones heal and chicks dig scars | |
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| JBryan | Mar 9 2006, 05:59 AM Post #8 |
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I am the grey one
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He eats them like fudgesickles. |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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| Larry | Mar 9 2006, 08:15 AM Post #9 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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I do! I used to use Coast, because true to the label, it woke me up with its fresh, invigorating scent. But my last wife was allergic to it, and she introduced me to the subtle, clean smell of Dove. And it's so good to my skin! So I used the Axe Essence this morning. Now I'm walking around smelling like a flower farted....... ![]() craving a fudgesickle...... |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| kenny | Mar 9 2006, 08:16 AM Post #10 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Don't Axe. Don't smell. |
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| Larry | Mar 9 2006, 08:21 AM Post #11 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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You spelled HILARIOUS wrong! You win the prize!


4:22 PM Jul 10