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Rednecks Revisited....
Topic Started: Jun 24 2005, 06:50 AM (335 Views)
markallen
Middle Aged Carp
We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of.

You might be a redneck if:

1. It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God."
2. You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
3. You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."
4. You bow your head when someone prays.
5. You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
6. You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.
7. You've never burned an American flag.
8. You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
9. You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
10. You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
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Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
Well I guess that makes me a redneck...
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

"Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous

"Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011

I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14
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Improviso
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
Add me to the redneck list too. 10 for 10.








Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments
and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism.

We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences.
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Jolly
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Geaux Tigers!
Been one all my life.....
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
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Luke's Dad
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Emperor Pengin
Pass me the spitoon and my banjo!
The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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jon-nyc
Member Avatar
Cheers
Hmm...

1. It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God."

check.


2. You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.


you mean carried a sign? check.


3. You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."

I wish everyone a happy winter solstice. To the cognoscenti I say 'happy Brumalia'. But i always figured this made me a traditionalist.


4. You bow your head when someone prays.

That certainly seems unnecessary.


5. You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

Check.

6. You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.

Check.


7. You've never burned an American flag.

Check.

8. You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

Double check.


9. You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.

Sounds like union rules to me. I believe in meritocracy. If someone is deserving of respect, they'll get it, regarless of their age.


10. You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

Check. I think I've actually done that before.


7 out of 10. Jolly, send me a membership card. ;)


In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
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KlavierBauer
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
*knocks a few teeth out*

Count me in! (pass that spittoon L'sD)
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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Jolly
Member Avatar
Geaux Tigers!
I can tell y'all are fakes...

A real redneck wouldn't even know what a spittown is, let alone how to spell it...
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
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JBryan
Member Avatar
I am the grey one
What's a spittewn?
"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne


There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it".


Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody.

Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore.

From The Lion in Winter.
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KlavierBauer
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
Jolly,
Don't forget I grew up out west... cowboys still exist here, as do spittoons.
Also, the sun shines even more intensely, and more frequently here, so our necks are truly red (my left arm too, from the drive to work this morning)
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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Luke's Dad
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Emperor Pengin
You mean you don't use a spitton to prop yer feet on?
The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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Jolly
Member Avatar
Geaux Tigers!
Luke's Dad
Jun 24 2005, 10:18 AM
You mean you don't use a spitton to prop yer feet on?

What do you think the old lady is fer?
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
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KlavierBauer
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
:D
Jolly, you gave yourself away as authentic by using the term "old lady"
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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Luke's Dad
Member Avatar
Emperor Pengin
Jolly
Jun 24 2005, 02:21 PM
Luke's Dad
Jun 24 2005, 10:18 AM
You mean you don't use a spitton to prop yer feet on?

What do you think the old lady is fer?

Cookun, Cleanun, and guttin the catfish.
The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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justme
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
Luke's Dad
Jun 24 2005, 02:24 PM

Cookun, Cleanun, and guttin the catfish.

:hair:

you forgot pickling the pig's feet.
"Men sway more towards hussies." G-D3
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ivorythumper
Member Avatar
I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
Luke's Dad
Jun 24 2005, 10:24 AM
guttin the catfish.

Is that what the kids are calling it these days!!!???
The dogma lives loudly within me.
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Fizzygirl
Fulla-Carp
justme
Jun 24 2005, 03:23 PM
Luke's Dad
Jun 24 2005, 02:24 PM

Cookun, Cleanun, and guttin the catfish.

:hair:

you forgot pickling the pig's feet.

Put another log on the fire.......... :rolleyes:
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. ~ Garrison Keillor


My latest videos.

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