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No hugging allowed; Is this going to far?
Topic Started: Jun 19 2005, 04:23 PM (457 Views)
dolmansaxlil
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HOLY CARP!!!
Quote:
 
Hugging Ban Sparks Dispute at Ore. School

The Associated Press
Sunday, May 15, 2005; 9:03 PM

BEND, Ore. -- Public displays of affection are against the rules at Sky View Middle School in Bend, and 14-year-old Cazz Altomare found that out the hard way.

She got detention earlier this year after hugging her boyfriend in the hallway as he headed to lunch and she went to gym class.

Her mother, Leslee Swanson was infuriated by the punishment _ in fact, when she went to pick her daughter up from detention, she gave her a good, hard hug.

"I'm trying to understand what's wrong with a hug," said Swanson, 42.

But administrators said such policies are standard-issue at middle schools across the country.

"Really, all we're trying to do is create an environment that's focused on learning, and learning proper manners is part of that," said Dave Haack, the principal of Cascade Middle School, also in Bend. "This is not us being the romance police."

Students only end up with detention after repeated warnings, he said.

Outside Pilot Butte Middle School on a recent lunch break, two seventh-grade girls said they disagreed with the school's policies.

"I think we should be able to hold hands or hug at least," Annie Wilson, 12, told The Bulletin in Bend. "Because it's not doing anything bad."

Others are more in favor of the rule, like Christina Barackman, 13, also a Pilot Butte seventh-grader.

"I think they're nice to keep boundaries for kids," she said.

Schools need to define and actively teach what they do want to see in student behavior, said Rob Horner, a University of Oregon professor who works with schools across the nation on "building social culture that supports effective learning."

"To say 'no hugging' really blows it," Horner said. "That's exactly the sort of trap that, as soon as you say that, what is the first thing everyone is going to want to do?"

At home after school on a recent afternoon, Cazz, the Sky View student, described the no-hug rule as "dumb."

"Hugging is like a sign of affection," she said.

Her mother has told her that if she likes Sky View and wants to stay at the school, she'll have to abide by the rules.

But Swanson, the mother, said she wonders if a hugging ban would fly in a more metropolitan place.

For her, this is a politically charged issue.

"The more people blindly accept these fundamental rights being taken away from them, the easier it becomes for them to be taken away," Swanson said.

"Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst." ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson

My Flickr Photostream


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dolmansaxlil
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HOLY CARP!!!
I apologize for the age of this story - I pulled it from another message board.
"Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst." ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson

My Flickr Photostream


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katie
Fulla-Carp
Well y'all know what I think ... C'est stupid.

This is the statement that cracks me up though:
"Really, all we're trying to do is create an environment that's focused on learning, and learning proper manners is part of that," said Dave Haack, the principal of Cascade Middle School, also in Bend. "This is not us being the romance police."

Truthfully, I can't understand the lack of brains, backbone and plain common sense that seems to be evident among so many 'suits' that are administrators for schools today. This can't be learned behavior ... I can't see that educators actually attend inservices where they learn and practice spewing out this carp. Who are these people anyway?? Where did they come from??

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justme
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HOLY CARP!!!
Is this going to far?

I'd say so. Unbelievable. Good questions, Katie. Who are these people?
"Men sway more towards hussies." G-D3
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The 89th Key
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First thing that came to my mind was when I kissed my girlfriend goodbye in the hallway as we headed to our seperate classes in 8th grade.

...and now hugging is against the rules? This P.C. crap is REALLY pissing me off.

Thanks for the post though Katie.
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QuirtEvans
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I Owe It All To John D'Oh
This is all a product of sexual harassment lawsuits. Since people can't know for certain in advance whether a hug is consensual or not ... and since, sometimes, people will allege after the fact that it wasn't ... and since the school itself can be held responsible if it doesn't have a policy to deter sexual harassment ... this is the result.

It's stupid, but there's a root cause to blame, as well.
It would be unwise to underestimate what large groups of ill-informed people acting together can achieve. -- John D'Oh, January 14, 2010.
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Axtremus
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HOLY CARP!!!
Oh yeah?

:hug:
:bigkiss:
:smooches:

Naa na naa na Naaaaa Naaaaa :woot:
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katie
Fulla-Carp
deleted by me :)

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pianojerome
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HOLY CARP!!!
The problem with such rules is that they have to be general. How can you say no kissing, no grooming, no hanging off each other in the hallways, no touching private spots, no ______, but you can hug?

Then kids say, "We can hug, so why can't we hang all over each other? It's the same thing, isn't it? Well, we can hug, so why can't we kiss? We can hug, so why can't we ______?"
Sam
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katie
Fulla-Carp
Axtremus
Jun 19 2005, 07:08 PM
Oh yeah?

:hug:
:bigkiss:
:smooches:

Naa na naa na Naaaaa Naaaaa :woot:

Please don't suspend me jgoo for this ... please understand I first saw it in the WTF ...

Groping Smiley

One Thing Leads to Another Smiley

(Remember, if you're easily offended, you don't have to click on any of these ....)

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apple
one of the angels
:shrug:
it behooves me to behold
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apple
one of the angels
have you ever been around 12 to 15 year olds en masse? they are NUTS... preteens are children with teenage attitudes and raging hormones and a total lack of experience in keeping themselves in check. They need alot of structure. They need parameters.. They are hard to teach and control.. They lack focus. They think dry humping while dancing is normal if they have even moderate esposure to modern lyric videos.

Teachers cannot hug children btw.

It makes it sound as if it is against the law to love.
it behooves me to behold
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dolmansaxlil
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HOLY CARP!!!
Actually, I've seen a teacher hug a kid. I've hugged many little kids (kindergarten - grade 2 or 3) but always with them instigating. I've seen a (male) teacher hug a (female) grade 6 student because she was moving away. (This was in front of the whole class at the end of her going away party, so it was very obviously a "friendly" thing with lots of witnesses, including myself.)
"Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst." ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson

My Flickr Photostream


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pianojerome
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HOLY CARP!!!
apple
Jun 19 2005, 10:27 PM
have you ever been around 12 to 15 year olds en masse? they are NUTS...

(Many) Teenagers are so immature... especially those middle-school types. Even with rules and structure, they'll do bad things. But some structure is necessary.
Sam
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pianojerome
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HOLY CARP!!!
dolmansaxlil
Jun 19 2005, 10:31 PM
Actually, I've seen a teacher hug a kid.  I've hugged many little kids (kindergarten - grade 2 or 3) but always with them instigating.  I've seen a (male) teacher hug a (female) grade 6 student because she was moving away.  (This was in front of the whole class at the end of her going away party, so it was very obviously a "friendly" thing with lots of witnesses, including myself.)

I had a biology teacher who would pat kids on the back and rub their shoulders in class... even during tests! But never too much, and always just friendly...
Sam
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QuirtEvans
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I Owe It All To John D'Oh
Quote:
 
have you ever been around 12 to 15 year olds en masse? they are NUTS... preteens are children with teenage attitudes and raging hormones and a total lack of experience in keeping themselves in check.


Most of those aren't pre-teen ... thirTEEN, fourTEEN, fifTEEN. They are, in fact, teenagers, and so it really isn't all that unusual for them to have teenage attitudes.

But it's true that it's happening younger and younger.
It would be unwise to underestimate what large groups of ill-informed people acting together can achieve. -- John D'Oh, January 14, 2010.
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The 89th Key
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Where's Ben...we need his thoughts!
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apple
one of the angels
QuirtEvans
Jun 19 2005, 09:53 PM
Quote:
 
have you ever been around 12 to 15 year olds en masse? they are NUTS... preteens are children with teenage attitudes and raging hormones and a total lack of experience in keeping themselves in check.


Most of those aren't pre-teen ... thirTEEN, fourTEEN, fifTEEN. They are, in fact, teenagers, and so it really isn't all that unusual for them to have teenage attitudes.

But it's true that it's happening younger and younger.

you're right of course.. and it is also right to be dismayed that we have to set parameters like that..

My son is a recent 11 going on 16.

eek
it behooves me to behold
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Luke's Dad
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Emperor Pengin
Everybody's shocked and upset by this? Where was it when the 6 year old boy was suspended for kissing the 6 year old girl on the cheek during recess a couple of years ago? Going to far? Nah, we passed that point a long time ago.
The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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Luke's Dad
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Emperor Pengin
[size=14]No hugging allowed!"[/size]

[size=7]Now go to class and learn how to put a condom on a cucumber![/size]
The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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QuirtEvans
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I Owe It All To John D'Oh
And you'd better make sure you're putting that condom on your own cucumber. :crazy:
It would be unwise to underestimate what large groups of ill-informed people acting together can achieve. -- John D'Oh, January 14, 2010.
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pianojerome
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HOLY CARP!!!
Luke's Dad
Jun 20 2005, 10:05 AM
[size=14]No hugging allowed!"[/size]

[size=7]Now go to class and learn how to put a condom on a cucumber![/size]

Cucumbers are kind of big. If this is what the teachers are showing the kids in school, then they're deceiving the girls (and making the guys feel small).



Oops! Edit: The guys aren't putting condoms on cucumbers, too, are they?
Sam
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Jolly
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Geaux Tigers!
Around here, PDAs (Public Displays of Affection) are officially not tolerated.

Officially.

As long as some guy isn't running his tongue down his girfriend's throat, or a techer isn't patting co-ed on the butt, most principals adopt a much more common sense approach.

The article addresses another instance of how we are trying to "lawyer-proof" society. Sadly, there is no such way to accomplish such a goal.

This is an issue that should be solely the principal's purview, and he should be able to use his discretion and authority.
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
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QuirtEvans
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I Owe It All To John D'Oh
Quote:
 
This is an issue that should be solely the principal's purview, and he should be able to use his discretion and authority.


I agree with that, as long as there are some reasonable checks on the principal's ability to abuse his discretion.

Quote:
 
The article addresses another instance of how we are trying to "lawyer-proof" society. Sadly, there is no such way to accomplish such a goal.


Amazingly enough, I agree with both of those sentiments too.
It would be unwise to underestimate what large groups of ill-informed people acting together can achieve. -- John D'Oh, January 14, 2010.
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jgoo
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apple
Jun 19 2005, 07:29 PM
have you ever been around 12 to 15 year olds en masse? they are NUTS...

:yes:

The group of kids I used to "baby" sit ranged in age from 11 to 15. Some days there'd be about 8 to 10 of them around at a time (Exactly the reason I was there. If it was just the one child whose mom hired me she wouldn't need me, but she doesn't trust him not to have all of his friends over while she's away, so I had to be there to help keep things in check). It was a mad house. They like to cause trouble (that's fun for them for some reason :rolleyes2: ) and when they weren't doing that they were talking about how they hope to lose their virginity ASAP. :rolleyes2:

I was always relieved on the days that they decided to go and play basketball or baseball instead of staying at the house and causing trouble all day long. That gave me a chance to get the house cleaned up (because God forbid they clean up any of their own messes :rolleyes2: :rolleyes2: :rolleyes2: ) and have quiet time to relax afterward.
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