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| A boiled egg is hard to beat; and other groaners | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 13 2005, 08:57 AM (1,958 Views) | |
| kenny | Jun 13 2005, 08:57 AM Post #1 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? A dead giveaway. 3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes. 7. A chicken crossing the road is . . . poultry in motion. 8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed. 9. With her marriage she got a new name and “a dress”. 10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. 11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. 13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't “budge it”. 15. Local Area Network in Australia is knows as The LAN Down Under. 16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key. 17. Every calendar's days are numbered. 18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine. 19. A boiled egg is hard to beat. 20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed. 21. A plateau is a high form of flattery. 22. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. 24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall. 25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are “in Seine”. 26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye. 27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. 28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. 29. Acupuncture is a jab well done. |
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| AlbertaCrude | Jun 13 2005, 09:14 AM Post #2 |
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Bull-Carp
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19. A boiled egg is hard to beat. ...it's also hard to putt. |
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| Fizzygirl | Jun 13 2005, 09:25 AM Post #3 |
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Fulla-Carp
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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. ~ Garrison Keillor My latest videos. | |
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| rkvs1 | Jun 13 2005, 10:05 AM Post #4 |
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Junior Carp
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I always liked your sense of humor, Kenny .... . . . . . . ......or at least I've groan accustomed to it. ![]() Bob |
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| ivorythumper | Jun 13 2005, 04:38 PM Post #5 |
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
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Grandma once dated an awning salesman -- she was attracted to shady characters. |
| The dogma lives loudly within me. | |
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| KlavierBauer | Jun 13 2005, 04:42 PM Post #6 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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wow |
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"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper "He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple | |
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| Steve Miller | Jun 13 2005, 04:49 PM Post #7 |
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Bull-Carp
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I call my baby "hinges", 'cuz she's something to a door. |
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Wag more Bark less | |
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| apple | Jun 14 2005, 08:33 AM Post #8 |
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one of the angels
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I don't get it Steve good contribution Kenny. May I take this opportunity to thank you for all you contribute.. You are a real fine fella. |
| it behooves me to behold | |
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| KlavierBauer | Jun 14 2005, 08:35 AM Post #9 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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agreed apple! |
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"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper "He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple | |
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| ivorythumper | Jun 14 2005, 08:39 AM Post #10 |
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
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something to adore... |
| The dogma lives loudly within me. | |
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| KlavierBauer | Jun 14 2005, 08:40 AM Post #11 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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oooh... I think she gets it steve |
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"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper "He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple | |
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| kenny | Jun 14 2005, 08:58 AM Post #12 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Why do I feel like I am reading my obit? Someone else said something nice about me recently. I don't like this. I better start talking about my hybrid, or something else annoying. |
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| ivorythumper | Jun 14 2005, 09:01 AM Post #13 |
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
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too dry for me. |
| The dogma lives loudly within me. | |
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| pianojerome | Jun 14 2005, 09:05 AM Post #14 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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:lol: |
| Sam | |
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| Kincaid | Jun 17 2005, 10:28 PM Post #15 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Just bumping this so I can find it tomorrow to show to my wife. My apologies. |
| Kincaid - disgusted Republican Partisan since 2006. | |
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