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| The bad stuff; Suicide, cutting, smoking, etc | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 21 2006, 11:09 PM (3,356 Views) | |
| Nightshadow | Jan 29 2006, 09:53 PM Post #31 |
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Peasant
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Alot of the time I feel like I am carying a bruden on my back but I can't turn around to see what it is, even in b-ball it feels like everyone expects to much of me, I also cry myself to sleep sometimes....I am sorry this is just a waste of space. |
| Be careful about what you wish for, look at me I wished I could hide from the world in the shadows and now my life is bound to the nights shadows, and no one can save me........ | |
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| Spazz | Jan 29 2006, 11:02 PM Post #32 |
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Commander
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Well, here's my 1/2 cent. (It's pretty long) You all know I live in Cali right? Well, my dad doesn't. It started a while ago, when I was like, 5, my dad was looking for a job. He finally found one! The problem was that it was in the United Arab Emirates. So we moved there. We had a pretty good life. I made some friends at school, got to know my sister better, joined Neopets, became a little more acquainted with HTML...we went to America to visit every summer, since my mom's parents and some other family lived there. I liked it. Then, my dad's mother, that stupid, sh*tty, b*tch invited us over in Jordan. Don't get me wrong, I loved my whole family back then. We were happy to go. In Jordan, we bonded with our grandparents (mostly my grandfather, he's so much better to hang out with, yeesh. He taught us how to play chess too. God rest him), and we realized my grandmother can't cook. We didn't notice, but my grandmother was trying to turn my sister and me against us (my brother wasn't born yet). She made us jealous of eachother, and things like that. Well, after going back to the UAE, we went on with our lives. My mom got my sister and I to be SISTERS again, and my brother was born. The more we visited my dad's parents, the more distant my parent's became. They still got along, but they seemed distant. Then, when my brother was about three, and I started helping out at my dad's office (heh, it was fun), my dad came home less and less. He talked to this girl at work an awful lot for "just friends". I didn't notice. I was too naiive. A month later, my mom faints after being on the phone with my dad. Later she wakes up. I assume everything is okay then. That night, I wake up to my mom crying. My parents and my sister were in the living room and my mom was yelling at my dad and crying. He had been dragging her into the house, and he threw her on the couch. They were screaming stuff in Arabic mixed with English, so it was difficult to understand them. My dad just sent us to bed. My dad had a business trip to get to in Egypt, so as soon as he left, and my mom knew he was gone, she said "Yalla, 'bisoor'a (move, quickly) we have to pack". I was confused, but I packed anyway. "Pack as if we were leaving forever" she said. I was confused still, but I piled tons of clothes and things on my bed. I asked what we would do with my cat (Sparkie) and she said we couldn't take her, and I got really sad. I put her food enough for 4 days, and lots of water, then I kept packing. We were getting like old videos of us and stuff, and I was still clueless. We packed until night, then my mom said "come on, the flight leaves at 2 AM, we have to go to Khaloo Abu Ashraf's (friend of the family) house. He's taking us." I went to Sparkie and said good bye to her (oh God I'm crying now). Then we left and wound up and California (just so you know, both of my grandparents were dead by then). My mom's parent's house was a wreck, even if my uncle lived there. His wife does NOTHING. They eventually moved out while my mom put us into school, and we refurnished the house. Turns out, the reason why we had to leave in the first place (my long winded story was worth it, ok?) was because of my grandmother. She started telling my dad that my mom was bad, and picked out her flaws. Eventually, my dad stopped loving my mom and cheated on her. The person he cheated with threatened to kill us, which is why we left. We still see my dad, he comes once every 3 months, but he doesn't live with us. We all milk by dad so he can keep giving us stuff, and money. The only worth my dad has to me is when he buys me stuff and takes me places. If he didn't do those things, I'd ABHOR and LOATHE him (I only hate him right now). It really got me into a depression, and I still get pretty sad (I'm sad a lot), but sometimes I find the happier side of life, and I'm thankful that my mom isn't a drug addict, or abusive, or something like that. I'm thankful that we're not still in Palestine, stuck in the war, and stuck in the Jew's torture. ( ) After I read this thread, I realized that life isn't as bad as I thought.I still get extremely depressed at times, though. (I think I'm bipolar or something.) Whenever I get that way, I don't smile or laugh at all, and I feel like crying but I hold it back until I get to a bathroom of some sort. Sometimes I get really angry that the other girls at my school can live with fathers and I can't. I got really depressed and angry when my mom had these terrible surgery complications (I still don't know what the surgery was for). She got REALLY sick, and I thought that she'd die (it was fatal, we had to call the ambulance numerous times) and I'd grow up with no parents and a mean sister and a bratty brother. I hit myself (I banged my head on the wall and pulled my hair) and trashed things. My grades didn't go down, because no one knew what I was doing, and I wanted to make sure my mom was proud of me. I picked at myself, I pulled off pieces of skin that were still alive with paperclips and cut myself. Now that my mom is better, I realized a way to keep her healthy was not to stress her out. I needed to stop doing the things I was doing. It took work, but I did eventually. I still do it sometimes though, and I still get really sad. I'm sorry about those of you who are still having problems. |
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nil magnum nisi bonum. enjoy the moment. | |
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| Jason | Jan 30 2006, 01:51 AM Post #33 |
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Commander
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It's truly amazing what some of us go throgh at such at early age, isn't it? But, when everything's said and done, these milestones in our lives only make us stronger. Much love to you, Spazz. You're a strong person to keep fighting. I congrat you, and everyone else. Keep going, everyone. |
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| ChibiRaven | Jan 30 2006, 04:20 AM Post #34 |
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Lieutenant Commander
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No way! Which episodes?! Wow, TT is something I wouldn't have expected to see in church... Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling better now...^^ Spazz, you get a <3...I hope you know you can always talk here and we'll listen. Jason, you are sooo right. Someone once said to me that 'the more we're given to deal with, the stronger we become...and the little things don't seem to hurt as much anymore.' |
![]() craZy made the sig and avy! *eats needlez* THERE! Weren't expecting that, were-- ... Ow. Ow ow. OWWWWWWWWWW!!! - al_davis_4_president | |
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| Deadringer | Jan 30 2006, 05:24 PM Post #35 |
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Knight
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I never pictured any one that has any problems. I'm not saying my life is pefect but wow, just wow. I've thought of running away before. I've been sad before, but I've never pictured any body in a depressed state that they just can't get out of it. Campaired to you guys, my life is perfect. Spazz, I'm sorry to here about that. If my grandmother was like that I would hope to never see her again. I agree with Jason, keep going strong! And this place wouldn't be the same without you guys. |
![]() Made by Hito | |
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| ChibiRaven | Jan 30 2006, 07:54 PM Post #36 |
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Lieutenant Commander
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That wasn't a waste of space. It's good to get this kind of stuff off your chest. Maybe you should have a think about what might be upsetting you first of all. That way, you can deal with it better...maybe talk to someone you're close to. I hope things get better soon. <3
I agree. This place is great because you guys make it great. It makes me sad to see so many people who feel down and stuff. <3 |
![]() craZy made the sig and avy! *eats needlez* THERE! Weren't expecting that, were-- ... Ow. Ow ow. OWWWWWWWWWW!!! - al_davis_4_president | |
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| Bluemage14 | Jan 30 2006, 08:35 PM Post #37 |
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TBRS Idol Winner
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He only had the first two DVD's that came out. The complete First season. He mainly played episodes that showed each character showing certain traits. We looked at one character each for five Sundays. Robin - was determination to live strong. Starfire - was how it's okay to be a little oblivious. Because there are some things in life that God does that we just don't need to understand. Beast Boy - was outgoing and how to live life to the max. Raven - finding your inner peace during all the hussle and finding time to have quiet time or (in the fan-based terms) "meditation" you know, let your thoughts go, and listen to God. Cyborg - about changes and up-grading and never looking back at the bad times in the past. It was an awesome message! He mainly showed scenes from "Aprentice I" "Nevermore" and a lot from "Divide and Conquer" to "Final Exam" and he said that if we can a little bit of Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, Raven, and Cyborg in us all. We'll be able to live a balanced life. ...it was cool... |
![]() Retro is back, baby. | |
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| Azier the Swordsman | Jan 30 2006, 10:35 PM Post #38 |
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Sergeant Major
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Wow, Bluemage, I need to start coming to your church. It's teh awesome. |
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Azier's Fanfiction: http://www.fanfiction.net/~aziertheswordsm...iertheswordsman Azier's LiveJournal: http://azierx.livejournal.com/ Contact Me-AIM/Yahoo: azierx | |
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| Spazz | Jan 30 2006, 10:42 PM Post #39 |
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Commander
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The song "Kenji" by Fort Minor kind of reminds me of this stuff... *Sniff*EDIT: Yeah, my mom says she won't welcome my grandmother into the house when she visits in March. Oh, God, I'm dreading it... My dad doesn't know that I know, so when he comes to visit he calls her and says "Hey Deenah, come, talk to teta!" So I don't really have a choice, and I have to talk really loud 'cause she can't hear. The most grueling part is saying "I love you" at the end. I know it says in the Qu'ran that elders need to be respected, but, begging for forgivness I say that my grandmother and dad don't deserve my respect. They didn't respect us first. |
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nil magnum nisi bonum. enjoy the moment. | |
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| ChibiRaven | Jan 31 2006, 04:08 AM Post #40 |
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Lieutenant Commander
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Fair enough. I mean...considering what happened and all. I could never respect someone who's done that...so I think you're very brave to keep your mouth shut on these matters. I know I couldn't.
Oh, WOW! ^^ That's teh awesomeness! When I used to have to go to church at my old school, I remember them talking about the Matrix...and I thought that was pretty cool. If they'd talked about TT I think my brain would have exploded with joy! There are a lot of links tho', I suppose, when you come to think of it. And yeah, theres's a bit of Robin, Star, BB, Rae and Cy in me for sure! ^.^ |
![]() craZy made the sig and avy! *eats needlez* THERE! Weren't expecting that, were-- ... Ow. Ow ow. OWWWWWWWWWW!!! - al_davis_4_president | |
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| Hunter17 | Jan 31 2006, 06:16 PM Post #41 |
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Knight
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i cannot comment any more as i am just overwhelmed by all this.....and I thought I had it bad...... |
| Titan's Rising, a TT fanfic by yours truly | |
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| Spazz | Feb 1 2006, 10:14 PM Post #42 |
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Commander
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My mom is pestering me about my weight. She keeps telling me I need to lose weight. She's all "Last year it was 20 pounds to lose and now it's 40, Deenah what am I gonna do with you, do I have to lock up the food?!" She acts like I'm morbidly obese or something, which isn't true. I know I have to lose weight, because I'm pretty chubby, but the way she says it to me is really degrading. It's like she wants me to starve myself, so I guess I will. *Sigh* I'm 173 pounds and 5' 6''. Is that fat? |
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nil magnum nisi bonum. enjoy the moment. | |
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| AiOrikasa | Feb 1 2006, 10:23 PM Post #43 |
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Commander
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Nah that's not fat I'm 4 ft 8 in and I'm 150 pounds and some people think I'm not obese at all. Some think I'm only 120 pounds. Maybe because I'm short. |
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| craZy | Feb 2 2006, 08:32 AM Post #44 |
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Graphics Artist
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I dunno how much I weigh but Im not chubby nor skinny bones, a perfect average weight. I just love my food, but i as well do a good amount of exercise to get rid of the fat. Some kids face problems because of their weight. Overweigth children would be picked on, people dont even want to step near that person, degrade tht person, i find it all very stupid! So what if someone is fat? Doesnt make tht person any different from us. |
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| darthv3ggie | Feb 2 2006, 10:54 PM Post #45 |
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Lieutenant Commander
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No, it doesn't ^^ i'm only 4'9 and 92 pounds is that UNDERweight? |
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Steam: extwofour Skype: darthv3gan Nintendo: 3969-6068-8471 | |
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) After I read this thread, I realized that life isn't as bad as I thought.
"Holy crap!" That was the coolest message...like ever.






3:48 AM Jul 11