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The bad stuff; Suicide, cutting, smoking, etc
Topic Started: Jan 21 2006, 11:09 PM (3,357 Views)
darthv3ggie
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*sighs* hmm i got

1: Dad who seems to LOVE to yell, he yells at my mom alot because she's not "perfect" to him (he sais VERY hurtful things to her), he also does the same to me..

2: Alot of people don't accept me beacause i have diabetes..

3: My mom, is obssesed with cleaning, if somthings out of place, she gets angry (probly caus dad has made her depressed)

4: I went through school year of being totally ignored

5: Alchoholic/druggy dad

I've tried cutting once, but i couldn't do it, i thought "Why do this to myself, it's not gonna help." My parents like to blame anything that goes wrong on ME, my dad'll hit me a few times every now and then.. The only person i talk to is my grandmother, she really listins tho, I'm gonna be torn apart when she dies ;_;
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Jason
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craZy18gurl
Jan 26 2006, 07:20 AM
Jason, ur hiding from everyone that ur gay?? Are you afraid theyre not going to accept it? I mean i think that is so wrong! They should accpet you no matter what. I just cant believe such matter, where one is never accepted. But for one thing I agree with ChibiRaven, ur attitude is really inspiring ^^

If my parents knew, any contact I still have with them would be gone and they'd shun me. Homosexuality isn't exactly tolerated where I live.

It hurts so much when I have to say idiotic comments around some of my friends like, "Yeah, she's hot", or talk about nasty porn. It's not the real me, and I curse myself for not saying the truth. It's terrifying.
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ChibiRaven
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craZy18gurl
Jan 26 2006, 10:20 AM
Jason, ur hiding from everyone that ur gay?? Are you afraid theyre not going to accept it? I mean i think that is so wrong! They should accpet you no matter what. I just cant believe such matter, where one is never accepted. But for one thing I agree with ChibiRaven, ur attitude is really inspiring ^^

Thanks crazy18gurl...you've got a good attitude too! ^^

Thats really sad that you feel trapped Jason....I think that must be horrible, I feel really bad for you.

You can always talk to us if you feel trapped. ^^
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craZy made the sig and avy!

*eats needlez* THERE! Weren't expecting that, were--
...
Ow. Ow ow. OWWWWWWWWWW!!!

- al_davis_4_president
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craZy
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Damn Jason, thats just gotta be terrible. Thank you ChibiRaven, and as she said y'all have a friend within us, no matter who you are!

And Jedi Raven, you totally did the right thing! Cutting is not gonna help at all, everyone should be aware of tht.
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darthv3ggie
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craZy18gurl
Jan 27 2006, 08:34 AM


And Jedi Raven, you totally did the right thing! Cutting is not gonna help at all, everyone should be aware of tht.

Thanks =) the kids at the school i'm in now are nicer (ALOT less problems from em)
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AiOrikasa
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I thought about killing myself once.... and I'll never even think about it again. I was very stressed that time and I thought the only way to end it was to kill myself. But after thinking about it for a split second I decided that was a stupid reason to die, so life went on. I'm Christian so it's considered to be sinful when one does suicide.
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Deadringer
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I've been in a depressed state before. Untill a friend of mine showed me something that I bring up every day now because it makes me NOT depressed. And to every one who thinks about all the bad stuff happening in their life Remember: Love's the only house big enough for all the pain in the world. Never try to look at the bad things in life. Some one out there cares for you and no matter how hard it is for some people to belive it, some thing, some one is there for you. Some one is there to give you a hand when you fall down and can't get up again. Life might be able to beat you down, but stand up! Be strong! And don't ever, EVER give up. Some people may look at this post and shake thir head and say "she's wrong" or "she doesn't know what I'm going through" but guess what, I'm here to help. Not to just give my opinion. I'm sorry for those people who don't have a very good life. I'm sorry for people who haven't had very much hope. But PLEASE don't give up on yourself.
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AiOrikasa
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Deadringer
Jan 28 2006, 10:04 PM
I've been in a depressed state before. Untill a friend of mine showed me something that I bring up every day now because it makes me NOT depressed. And to every one who thinks about all the bad stuff happening in their life Remember: Love's the only house big enough for all the pain in the world. Never try to look at the bad things in life. Some one out there cares for you and no matter how hard it is for some people to belive it, some thing, some one is there for you. Some one is there to give you a hand when you fall down and can't get up again. Life might be able to beat you down, but stand up! Be strong! And don't ever, EVER give up. Some people may look at this post and shake thir head and say "she's wrong" or "she doesn't know what I'm going through" but guess what, I'm here to help. Not to just give my opinion. I'm sorry for those people who don't have a very good life. I'm sorry for people who haven't had very much hope. But PLEASE don't give up on yourself.

That is very true Deadringer! That's why decided not to do what I was thinking. First I thought of the way people around me would react. It would ruin their lives if I killed myself. And yes, stay strong!
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Deadringer
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I'm just glad I can help. Life's to good to give up!
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Bluemage14
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Wow...um, jeez, I knew life sucks, but man.

Have you guys tried church? Or rather...any kind of religion? It helps really.
I may sound like a broken record, but let me share with you my story.

7th grade, that was four years ago, I attempted suicide and actually got sent to the hospital for it. Chef's knife...you could guess how that turned out.
Have you ever had that alone feeling? I'm sure you have...
So, alone where you feel like no one will come to support you? Protect you? Love you even? I have, and it sucked.

I felt like no one would come and help me with my problems that I couldn't answer, no one would help me and this jump in life I was taking. My parents, I felt were workaholics, and were never there. I didn't have many friends, it was a new school, a new atmosphere, and new people. I was terrified, I was trying to be accepted by other strangers, or even trying to be accepted by people who I thought were my friends, I was trying too hard. That's what the problem was, but I didn't know how to stop.

But one day my parents got up and said "we're going to church,"
And me being in my depressional funk that I was in I wasn't very enthusiastic about it.

"Oh, boy, church, just what I need group therapy worshipping God,"
We went for about five weeks, and I hated it, depised it even. My parents were different though, they were changing and it showed in their daily lives. They somehow found the time to actually sit down and talk to me more, and got to know me, and finally figured out what was wrong in my life. And I won't lie to you, I was totally freaked out, my parents were talking to me, that was something that didn't come easy unless it was a command.

Then, a "friend" knew from school mentioned to me that my church had a youth group. I wasn't interested, at all. I kept thinking "it's the same group of people who ignore me at school, but now they're worshipping God, joy,"

But then my parents found out and forced me to go. So I went, I didn't have the strength or the self-confidence to say 'no'.

There we had this new youth pastor, and he wanted to get to know everyone and everyone got to know him.
It was the weirdest thing, these people had problems just like me.

One girl had a drug addiction problem, she finally got into rehap and got off of them, so she decided to get her life back together by going to church.

A guy said that he was in the wrong group of friends and had a tendency to shoplift.

Another girl was a single mom and she said when she was pregnant that she wanted to take a knife and stab her stomach. That one gave me chills.

A girl who sat right next to me said that she attempted suicide because she felt alone. Now, that couldn't have just been a mere coincidence.

And then I shared my story, and nobody gave me sympathy for it, like I expected. Instead, we did nothing but talk. We talked about school life, the next movie coming out, we even talked got off the subject a little and talked about the weirdest things like how does dip chocolate harden so fast when it's cooled down. We all became fast friends.

We went on retreats, we helped people, we turned our youth group from a trailer class, to a church youth-wide worship center called "Fusion."

Four years later, the girl with the drug addiction became the lead singer on the Fusion band.

The guy who shoplifted works the sound booth on the Fusion team next to me.

The girl who was the single mother, got married and had two more children, still married today and are regular attendees.

The girl that attempted suicide became my best friend.

Me, I work the stage lighting on the Fusion team, and my best friend got me into theatre at my school where I felt even more accepted.

I look back on those days, and I can't believe how stupid I was back then. If I had not gone to church, I don't think I would be the person I am today.

But you know, I don't think I would have lasted going to church for more than two Sundays if I didn't be myself. That was the key, was to be myself. But I guess I needed the church to make me vunerable first.

Now, there will be sometimes where people will make fun of you, ignore you, step on you, or let you down just because you are different from them.

It doesn't matter what they think, because they are low-lives just like everyone else, with low self-esteem trying to cover it up by acting like they have more power over you because they don't have what you have.

What matters is if you accept yourself as who you are. And if there's something about you that you don't like, then change it.
Trust yourself.

And if you're lookin' for love, church is my #1 recommendation. Because you'll never feel alone after that experience.

And you don't even have to come to worship God. For me, that was just a surprising plus.

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Retro is back, baby.
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Jason
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I agree with BM, God fills that "empty hole in your heart". Who says gay people can't go to church and worship God?
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ChibiRaven
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Wow, Blue, thats a really inspiring story...I'm so glad that you're still okay....

*super glomps*

You know, if you weren't that person, you wouldn't probably have joined this shrine...or got into Teen Titans. Hey, life is full of surprises.

I think mostly everyone who I've spoken to on this shrine are really strong people...I admire you all.

It's amazing that so many of you have found the strength inside yourselves to know when to change for the better. I dont regret the fact that I found that inner strength...and I'm sure you don't either. ^.^
Posted Image
craZy made the sig and avy!

*eats needlez* THERE! Weren't expecting that, were--
...
Ow. Ow ow. OWWWWWWWWWW!!!

- al_davis_4_president
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Deadringer
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Knight
BM that's a really inspireing story! It just so happens that there are people going through the same things! You go Girl!!!!
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Bluemage14
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Jason
Jan 29 2006, 04:13 PM
I agree with BM, God fills that "empty hole in your heart". Who says gay people can't go to church and worship God?

Evil conservatives...but they're confused souls with low self esteem. ^^

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You know, if you weren't that person, you wouldn't probably have joined this shrine...or got into Teen Titans. Hey, life is full of surprises.


That's true, very true.
Hey, you know what's ironic? Or funny? My youth pastor actually did a message based on the Teen Titans. And played scenes from certain episodes that went with them.
I was like... :shocked: "Holy crap!" That was the coolest message...like ever.
Now who says you can't find God in the Teen Titans? :booya:

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Retro is back, baby.
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Hunter17
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true but like ive said before im always willing to listen to you guys, im my friends therapist already. She tells me almost everything and even calls me when shes upset so I can calm her down. She feels bad that I dont call her with problems but its the fact that I dont have any at the moment.

As for you Jason, i really am sorry that you feel trapped and have to hide everything. Whenever someone makes a anti0gay comment or I hear those conservatives on t.v., I feel the urge to go do something VERY violent. But then I realize that I dont want to stoop to their level. All Ive done so far is get into VERY heated arguments with some VERY racist people. *shudder* I swear, I hate my school's community, really. Its drug infested and racist hardcore.
Titan's Rising, a TT fanfic by yours truly
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