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The bad stuff; Suicide, cutting, smoking, etc
Topic Started: Jan 21 2006, 11:09 PM (3,346 Views)
Fallen
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Knight
Meh...I dunno what to say...this topic doesn't really interest me...

Okay.

If someone you know is "ruining" your life...well..sorry if this comes out the wrong way but...

Shut up.

What I'm trying to get out is, no one ruins your life. You ruin your own life. Sure people can try, but it all boils down to how you take it..

Take Anne Frank for instance. She was locked up away for years, and yet she never blamed Hitler for it..she made the best of her time in the..uh..place. Lol.

So..yeah. Saying you want to die is kinda foolish if you ask me. I know from posts above that a LOT of people here would miss you..

Now if everybody was..just...cheerful for 10 minutes..
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Deadringer
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How would you know? That's what her diary says. Were YOU there? No. So how do you know what she acted like? She might have done some stuff to get her mind off things, we don't know exactly how they acted back then. People are different, they take pain in different ways, do you know that I've barely gotten any complements? See, life's not all "sunshine" all the time, this world, is just plain messed up, nothing is going to go out like something you want, but, you can turn it into something good if you know how. People that most of the time look on the bright side, don't realise how much frikin' pain is on earth, and let me tell you, there's a lot of it.
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Fallen
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Deadringer
May 7 2006, 03:36 PM
How would you know? That's what her diary says. Were YOU there? No. So how do you know what she acted like? She might have done some stuff to get her mind off things, we don't know exactly how they acted back then. People are different, they take pain in different ways, do you know that I've barely gotten any complements? See, life's not all "sunshine" all the time, this world, is just plain messed up, nothing is going to go out like something you want, but, you can turn it into something good if you know how. People that most of the time look on the bright side, don't realise how much frikin' pain is on earth, and let me tell you, there's a lot of it.

It's not like her diary wasn't published...

Shut up with all the "pain" stuff. I know damn straight there's bad stuff going on this earth-and I'm not trying to sound all happy-go-lucky. I'm just getting sick and tired of everyone complaining, the same old "poor me, feel bad for me, I cut myself and want sympathy". Some people just need to suck it up and move on...
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Deadringer
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I agree with that, but some times, you just can't. Some people want symphony, but some, don't for being feared of being rejected, don't ask me how I know.
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Al
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One way or another, I don't think it matters. I think we lost her.
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RAB
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tottaly agrees
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Satans Spawn
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Fallen
May 7 2006, 08:30 PM
Meh...I dunno what to say...this topic doesn't really interest me...

Okay.

If someone you know is "ruining" your life...well..sorry if this comes out the wrong way but...

Shut up.

What I'm trying to get out is, no one ruins your life. You ruin your own life. Sure people can try, but it all boils down to how you take it..

Take Anne Frank for instance. She was locked up away for years, and yet she never blamed Hitler for it..she made the best of her time in the..uh..place. Lol.

So..yeah. Saying you want to die is kinda foolish if you ask me. I know from posts above that a LOT of people here would miss you..

Now if everybody was..just...cheerful for 10 minutes..

My life was ruined before I got a chance to repell or do anything about it. I didn't ruin my life. If I had a different dad and went to a different school then life would be perfect.

I don't want sympathy. To me if someone wants sympathy they make it clear. I try my best to ignore that.

The reason I posted all this here is because the people here are my ONLY friends. All my life I've never really had a friend that I could trust, rely on or even talk to.

And since you guys were my only friends I thought it would be polite if I let you know that I was going to die and the reason for doing so. I even HOPED that someone could change my mind somehow because I live to help people. I don't want to die knowing that all I'm going to do is going to ruin somebody elses life.

But my life was never a tea party. When people needed someone to talk to when no one would listen, who would they go to? Who would help them through it?

Me.

When someone wanted to die because they were being bullied, who did they turn to for advice?

Me.

When people were feeling down in the darkest of times, who would be there to help them through it?

Me.

But who did they use after all their problems were sorted? Who did they throw out onto the streets as if they were some sort of rubbish? Who had to live with the fact that they had done all that for nothing?

ME.

I've been there for lots of people, and after those peoples problems were sorted they said to me "thanks for your help good bye."

But I didn't just sit there and watch people suffer, I helped them even if it did mean me getting it in the neck. But I didn't care because I had no life so I had nothing to loose.

And if you honestly think I'm looking for sympathy go look for a blooming drama queen for crying out loud. If I wanted sympathy I would have said something like "I can't believe this is happening to me, I'm gonna kill my self and there's nothing you can do! I don't want to die but I don't know what else to do! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!"

But did I? No.

And deadringer? Thankyou. I know there usually is some hope but as long as my Dad is out of jail again I know for certain that my, Emmery and Theo's life is in danger. There's really nothing that I can do. My mom went to the police and they're looking for him now, I have no idea whether or not they found him yet but judging by the lack of disturbance I'd say they have.

I've had to take time off school today because of flu. With this free time I'll make my decision. If I do decide to die then you guys may hear it on the news.

My first name is Giulia (pronounced Julia) just incase. I don't know if they'll show it in America but if they do you'll know it's me.

And if you don't hear anything and I'm still browsing the site then you know that I've decided to live.

Al and RAB don't be too sure you've lost me, like DR said, there's always hope and I'm going to try and find all the hope I can to get through this.

A little side note, TBRS is the best thing that ever happened to me. If it wasn't for those people online two nights ago when I held that knife to me throat then I wouldn't be here now.
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Amofist
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*falls on kne8es* PLEASE DON'T DIE!!!! I WILL PROTECT YOU WITH SPORKS AND MY WICCAN SHADOW POWER

(he,he i'm a wiccan :shifty: so i can cast magic, i specialize in shadow magic using my shodow to do stuff hehe :robin: )
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Satans Spawn
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Some times not even the most strongest of people can make it through these times, protection or not. Life is harsh, if I am to die then you should get on with life with no regrets. You guys never knew me before I came here so it wouldn't matter if I died because you'd all just go back to the way things were before.

Quote:
 
Amofist Posted on May 8 2006, 04:14 PM
  but, but, but


YOU THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTAND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and my oddest
 
if you die i'll do this to myself -  :chair:  then  :poke:


Don't freat over me, if I do this then it's MY fault, I don't want people fussing over me when I'm dead/if I'm dead as if I was some sort of...of...super star. It's wrong to me. And it makes me feel selfish.

There are plenty of people that understand you, I'm sure of it. There's always more than one.
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Amofist
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but, but, but


YOU THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTAND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and my oddest :cry:



if you die i'll do this to myself - :chair: then :poke:
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Al
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Satans Spawn
May 8 2006, 07:51 AM
Some times not even the most strongest of people can make it through these times, protection or not. Life is harsh, if I am to die then you should get on with life with no regrets. You guys never knew me before I came here so it wouldn't matter if I died because you'd all just go back to the way things were before.

Quote:
 
Amofist Posted on May 8 2006, 04:14 PM
  but, but, but


YOU THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTAND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and my oddest
 
if you die i'll do this to myself -   :chair:  then   :poke:


Don't freat over me, if I do this then it's MY fault, I don't want people fussing over me when I'm dead/if I'm dead as if I was some sort of...of...super star. It's wrong to me. And it makes me feel selfish.

There are plenty of people that understand you, I'm sure of it. There's always more than one.

...We'd be upset because we care. We'd miss you.

Look, I had some inspiration a little while back. If you really are concerned for the well-being of your kids...there's always adoption. You can send them somewhere that your father would never be able to follow.

I know you'd miss them, but it would be safest for them. Also, I don't mean to offend you, but at your age, I doubt you'd be able to provide for them.

I hope things work out for you. I truly do. And I understand what you said about helping people, because Lord knows that's happened to me more than once. We do it because it's worth it. To bring a smile to someone's face, without thought of reward...that's my meaning in life. That is all I can do for the world.

And you have your children. Think of them.
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Deadringer
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Knight
SS, no matter how much you say that you don't matter to us I know deep down in your soul that YOU KNOW that's not true, How could we ever forget someone who is always there for us when we need help? How can TBRS forget all those messeges asking, no, BEGGING for you to keep your life? The truth is, humans will never forget, Never. And nobody can change my mind on this and no one is in charge of your life SS but you, And we all Know life can suck, we all have been there at times, WE aren't PERFECT for gosh SAKES! But, some people like You SS, are precious to the world. I would DIE for you! It would be my pleasure to JUMP in front of a TRAIN to save your life, because at the end, it'll all be worth it for you to keep livin' on. So you go girl, and never forget what foot print your death will leave on all the people here.



In the words of the world that will one day stand forever: KEEP THE FAITH!
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The Great Alaskan Snow Dog
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I clicked this thread and got really, really scared, SS. Not because what you're thinking of doing is wrong-- even though it is. Not because I'll miss you terribly if you die-- even though I will. But because I've been in your shoes before, though for much less extreme reasons.

For just a minute, PLEASE, stop. Let go of suicidal thoughts. Forget about the fact that no one you know in real life seems to appreciate you or care about you. Ignore the fact that you want to die right now.

Stop and listen.

You know that little voice or sense or emotion in the back of your head or heart that stopped you from killing yourself that night? Listen to it, feed it, nurture it, care for it. Call it your conscience, optimism, whatever; it doesn't make a difference. It's that part of you that you need to listen to.

I know you're hurting, there's no denying that, but it isn't always about the hurt. Here's a little challenge for you: look in the mirror and list five things that you love about yourself. Having trouble? Take a look at what you should be telling yourself in truth.

-You're beautiful. Outer beauty doesn't matter to a person's character, so even though you have it, pay it no heed; you're beautiful in soul and spirit, and that's what counts.
-You're kind. You're a wonderful, giving person, and it's amazing that you've been able to care so much about people-- us, the twins, even Dan-- when you receive so little in return at times.
-You're strong. You aren't afraid to admit to when you're afraid, and that's a quality that most people are lacking which gives you strength of character.
-You're gifted. Everyone has his or her own gifts, and while I don't know your hobbies or talents, whatever it is, it's bound to be a great one.
-You're selfless. Okay, I'll admit it-- wanting to kill yourself isn't exactly the most selfless thing when it comes to the people that care about you, but you don't even think that people care. Other than that, though, just look at yourself-- you're going to go through with the twins and everything, you haven't attempted to beat your dad to a pulp yet, and you're quite giving to others.

As for not mattering to anyone, that's just about the most untrue thing I've ever heard. Look, I won't lie-- I don't know you in real life, and I probably never will. However, you're reading the words of an Internet addict, okay? And we Internet addicts have no lives. So, as an Internet addict, I honestly do care a lot about you because there aren't many people I care about that I know personally. If you died... I would cry myself blue, wear black the next day, and pray for your memory.

And I'm going to pray for you tonight.

Please don't do this. I know that it seems bad now, but it'll be worth it in the end; I promise it'll be worth it in the end. The sight of Theo and Emmery's smiling faces once they're born will make it worth it. The satisfaction of having made it through your traumas and become a truly happy person (which WILL happen) will make it worth it.

Knowing that in saving your life you saved the spirits of everyone on this site will make it worth it.

<3
Eski <3333
((I'm alive... gasp... XDD))
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Satans Spawn
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I'm sorry I scared people...I really am.

But I read over the thread and I talked to Bun800, DL, and DB last night and have also recieved two Pm's so I thought that I'd tell you what I'm going to do...

I'll live. I'll live for my friends on the chat and my friends that haven't been on the chat yet...but are still friends, and Dan, my Mom, Step Dad, Nana, Granda, Emma, Michael, Rachel, Marco, Rodger, Bruno, Toni, Simon (and the rest of my brothers and sisters), the memory of my three lost brothers and lost sister, my TV, my laptop, make up an outrageos thread and the twins. (No particular order).

^ God it took me twenty billion hours to think of all them, but I didn't really realize I wanted to live for THAT many things. I feel like a god damn idiot.

And Al? I have my Mom's build, the doctor and Mom say that I can provide. It's just coping with the whole 9 months (or less). But if they are to be born after nine months from March 3rd then they'll probably be born sometime in November which means another 7 months to go. :annoyed:

I'd just like to thank the people who posted here or talked to me on the chat. You guys helped me a lot. More than you may think. And if I could I'd hug you all right now. Oh well...*cyber hug*
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Amofist
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we with you all the way :wink:
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