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MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network); hehe check this out
Topic Started: Aug 12 2005, 11:42 PM (245 Views)
Lieutenant Of Morgul
Honoured Warrior
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MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network) - Thousands of peace activists took to the streets of Minas Tirith and other cities of Middle Earth today to protest what they termed a rush to war with Mordor.

"We need more time for diplomacy," said a key member of the Middle-Earth Security Council, Saruman the White. "I am not convinced by the evidence presented by my esteemed colleague, Gandalf the Grey, or that the Dark Lord Sauron presents an imminent danger to the peoples of the West."

Many of the people protesting war in Mordor agreed with Saruman's remarks. "Sauron says he's destroyed his Rings of Mass Destruction (RMD) and that's good enough for me," said one fellow carrying a sign that said "Elrond is a Balrog." Another demonstrator urged, "Give the RMD inspectors more time. There's no reason to rush to any judgment just because Mount Doom is belching lava, the Dark Tower is rebuilt, and Osgiliath has been decimated." A third protester piped up, "I haven't heard a single bit of convincing evidence connecting the Nazgul with Sauron. I think they destroyed Osgiliath on their own initiative without any support from Sauron. Besides, it's understandable they're angry with Gondor. We haven't done nearly as much for the Orcs and Goblins and Easterlings as the Nazgul and Sauron have. It's understandable they throw their support to them. It's our own fault really."

As the protesters continued their march through the city, they chanted, "No blood for Mount Doom," voicing a common sentiment that the leaders of the Western peoples are really seeking to get their hands on the powerful Mount Doom, where the One Ring of Power was allegedly forged.

Gandalf the Grey was unavailable for comment. A spokesman said he was in an undisclosed underground location, which sources have revealed is codenamed "Moria."


I found this on http://www.strategypage.com/humor/articles...rwarprotest.asp
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Kirby
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lol. Cool.
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Berethor
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Could we add to this at random? :D

MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network) - Peoples everywhere became violent as Knights of Gondor slew innocent orcs on their way to Minas Tirith for a holy pilgrimage and a bite to eat. Our very own Lady Malkala was there first, and got an exclusive interview with some of the key participants in this outrage.

Malkala: Hello there, this is Beregond, a brave member of the MTPD, Minas Tirith Police Department. So, Beregond, the riot today was incredible, but do you believe it was for a poor cause?

Beregond: I do, Lady. The orcs did not have the intentions that they say they did, and they were marching in armed legions numbering tens of thousands. Prince Imrahil and Captain Faramir and Boromir had no choice but to halt them at the crossing of Osgiliath and confiscate their weapons, but things turned violent.

Malkala: Have you heard that the Steward of Gondor was against going to war with Mordor, but was overthrown by his very own knights and captains?

Beregond: The steward is no longer fit for office, and has turned against his own people. The taxes are outrageous, and us warriors are earning less than minimum wage. Rumour has spread of Denethor's "Playboy" parties in a secret chamber of the White Tower, but this has not yet been confirmed.

Malkala: What of this riot? How did it feel to you that your own unarmed people had to be subdued by your raw prowess as a Citadel Guard?

Beregond: We had no choice, push came to shove, and things got violent. They were throwing chickens and cows at us, and we were getting covered in bird crap, so, we acted on orders from Captain Faramir and threw our own chickens and cows back.

Malkala: And what of Boromir's dissapearance? Last we heard he was riding northwards for personal health reasons. Is this true?

Beregond: I do not know the situation of our captain, but currently only Faramir and some lesser Battalion Commanders are in Minas Tirith, if Mordor wants to strike us down, it's now or never.

Malkala: Thank you for the interview, and it was nice meeting you. This has been a special Minas Tirith report. I'm Lady Malaka, thank you for watching your leading news network in Arda.

Best i can do on short notice. :lol:
Tribal Wars. Build. Command. Conquer.
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Lachlan
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LMAO! LOL, good one, Derek!
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Berethor
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MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network) - Minas Tirith's very own Maurice sat down with Steward Denethor II after the recent events and riots happening in Gondor in these hours.

Maurice: Hail, Steward Denethor II! What do you have to say about your recent son's dissapearance and the recent riots that have taken place?

Denethor:...my son...my son my son my son...Boromir, my dear Boromir...Boromir...

Maurice: Yes, of course, you are obviously very depressed about your dear son, but what about the riots?

Denethor: ...faramir should have gone, not my dear Boromir...no, not my Boromir...

Maurice: Yes, hmm, I see, so you think that Boromir should have been here to help control the riots?

Denethor: ...Boromir...

Maurice: Yes, I agree, Boromir should have led the crowd control...

Denethor: ...Boromir...

Maurice: So what do you say on the recent Ban of Marijuana with or without subscription act?

Denethor: It is a highly logistic declaration to suppress public illness and highness. I firmly believe that in order for our realm to remain absolutely sophistocated and highly authotitive.

Maurice: I...I, ahem, totally agree?

Denethor: ...Boromir...my dear dear Boromir...

Maurice: Well there you have it! A hands on interview of I, Maurice Weatherton and denethor II Steward of Gondor. Thank you for watching your leading News Network in Arda!
Tribal Wars. Build. Command. Conquer.
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Lachlan
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LMFAO! ;yay;
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Berethor
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Hundreds, maybe thousands of Amrothans took to the street today as Prince Imrahil, Dol Amroth's mayor, declared that gay marriage was outlawed. "This is absurd! We have elven blood in our veins, we're supposed to be gay!" Said one protester, a thin man with long blonde hair and very slightly pointed ears. He was wielding a sign that said 'Imrahil has no Nuts, but is nuts in truth!' Prince Imrahil and his now straight knights took to the streets and attempted to subdue the crowd, but they were unable to subdue the extrordinarily gay community.

In other news, the Dol Amroth Swans take on the Minas Tirith Citadeliers in this upcoming Tree Bowl. Will the Citadeliers take home the cup, or will they burn like a tree?

Also, an interview with the Guards of the White Tree! What do the finest warriors and highest military ranks in all of Gondor have to say about the recent chaos enveloping Gondor? Here it now, our very own lady Malkala was at the scene.

Malkala: Thank you, I'm here with the 4 Guards of the White Tree, The Guards of the Fountain Court, in their greatest and menacing form. Tell me, Sirs, what do you have to say about recent events in Gondor?

Guards of the White Tree: I don't know, we don't get out much.

Malkala: Hmm, alright, how is it being the finest Guardians in all of Gondor?

Guards of the White Tree: Well, we sit around, smoke, talk sometimes, say hi to visitors, smoke some more...the payroll is alright, since the Steward can't cut it, only the King can. We get quite a few women around us...we go skinny dipping in the Fount-

Malkala: So you didn't see any of the riot at all?

Guards of the White Tree: Nope, nuhuh. Well, wait, we saw a nazgul flying way up a couple days back...

Malkala: Oh my! This could be the story I've been waiting for, Gondor's proof that Mordor has been planning to attack us. Where did the nazgul appear, and what did you do?

Guards of the White Tree: Well, he appeared right over the White Hall there, between Minas Tirith and the mountain, it made us feel all funny so we shot it down and hacked it into tiny tiny bits and then threw it in a bathroom stall and went back to our posts.

Malkala:...

Guards of the White Tree: Oh yeah, we forgot, we stuck him in the toilet, and poured oil all over him and lit him on fire. Then another one showed up, and we beat the crap out of him with bats...but he got away...

Malkala: So you assailed the Nazgul on sight, and killed one of them?

Guards of the White Tree: Shhh...they scared away the babes, do you have any idea what big cloaked guys are? They're like Grim Reapers, bringers of the dead...haha...we killed death in a sense. (Guard high fives another Guard)

Malkala: This is a declaration of war on Mordor though, you understand that?

Guards of the White Tree: You like my feathers? I like them, they're so cool...people often think that we can fly with them...I'm starting to think I can...I'll be right back (heads to edge of seventh level and jumps off).

Malkala: So, Guards of the White Tree, the three finest warriors in all of Gondor? How does it feel to lose one of your most trusted companions in action?

Guards of the White Tree: I don't know, I never even knew his name, heh, it's not like anyone even bothers naming the most elite guards in Gondor. Geeze, Tolkien, you only had to think of 4 names and you'd make us happy...but nooo...the online Random Name Maker ran out, didn't it? (sigh)

Malkala: Thank you for the interview, and it was nice meeting you. This has been a special Minas Tirith report. I'm Lady Malaka, thank you for watching your leading news network in Arda.
Tribal Wars. Build. Command. Conquer.
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Lord Sunnycool
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:lol: Hillarious !!!!!!!!
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