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| LOTR Parodies | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 23 2005, 11:35 PM (824 Views) | |
| Berethor | Jun 23 2005, 11:35 PM Post #1 |
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Honour Guard Captain
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I was discussing with socky on msn...and we decided to make a topic on this stuff. This is just a jumbled collection of things we said, not a story line. ---------------------------------------------------------------- "I need a favor, Gothmog? First of all, despite your name...you are not gothic, alright?" Witch King says. "...okay..." says Gothmog. "Second of all, I need you to run into the 4th main street in Minas Tirith and grab me some skittles, alright?" Witch King says. "It will be done...but can I get a diet coke too, sir?" asks Gothmog. "Yeah, whatever, here's a buck..." With King says... --------------------------------------------------------- Here I was playing with the idea that a treb hit the water in front of gothmog's boat WK, says " where the hell is gothmog, orc: "hmm, i think he drowned ---------------------------------------------------------- The trolls burst through the gate, numbering 3 strong, more behind them. "Oh screw this..." says Gandalf, turning and riding away. The soldiers are disheartened by the man's running. "I always told you...you can't be old and dressed in white without being a coward..." says a soldier. "What does that have to do with, let's turn around and get clobbered..." says his pal. "Oh, alright..." ----------------------------------------------------------- "Where was Gondor when the westfold..." -Theoden "...defending your behind against an army of 400,000 your dumbass majesty..." Aragorn "...oh...okay, that's good to know." Theoden ------------------------------------------------------------ The orcs rush forward, ram held at the ready. "Break it down!" They shout, and ram the first gate of Minas Tirith. They all go crashing into the iron block and fall unconscious...the archers above them laughing and spitting on them.... -------------------------------------------------------------- "Where is the ring?" Aragorn asks. "I dunno, I think I dropped it..." Frito replies. Aragorn scrambles around on the ground. A mile away, a Uruk Hai picks it up. "Hmm, perty thingy..." "Argh!" Boromir shoots out of knowhere and lands on the Uruk. "Owie, you're so mean..." The Uruk cries, throwing Boromir off, and throwing the ring at him. -------------------------------------------------------------- Update: The Siege of Minas Tirith -------------------------------------------------------------------- “Bring up the Catapults!” Witch King shouts. “What catapults? We don’t have any…” Orc replies. “Oh…well…that can’t be right. I thought I sent you down to Joe’s conventional siege weapons…what happened?” Witch King asks. “Well, sir, lord, ummm, ahem, we saw an ice cream shop…and we got some ice creams, but the other 199,998 of us wanted some too…so, we bought them ice creams too…when we got to Joe’s, we were out of money.” Orc says. “Oh, God…I’m surrounded by idiots…” Witch King says. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- “Okay, lord, we’re really sorry about the catapults, but be reasonable!” Orc says. “Be reasonable? We’re sitting outside the city picking our noses while those dratted, arrogant Gondorian cone heads are laughing at us! I’ll show you reasonable! Denethor is going to laugh at me until the fifth age because of this…” Witch King says. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ “Okay, okay, lord. Me and the gang were feeling guilty about the catapults, so we all pitched in some money to help buy some.” Orc says, dropping a bag of coins at the Witch King’s feet, who picks it up. “…this is 35 cents…35 cents? I pay each of you a buck for every Gondorian head you get, and all you come up with is 35 cents?” Witch King asks. “Well…we’re not that great. In fact, we get our butts kicked by the Gondorians…the only reason why they left Osgiliath was because we bribed them to leave with ice cream…the Gondorians were fair enough.” Orc says. “…35 cents won’t get you an ice cream on today’s market…much less a 2000 dollar catapult…” Witch King says. “Holy crap! 2000 dollars? My counting doesn’t even go up that high…” Orc gasps. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Okay, okay, we did it lord. We BUILT a catapult using ice cream wrappers…” Orc says. “…you what?” Witch King asks. “We built…” Orc says. “You are such an idiot! How could you possibly expect a wrapper catapult to work? Watch…” Witch King pulls the Popsicle stick lever on catapult, which doesn’t move. “You see? It’s called physics and the gravitational law of…” the catapult suddenly jerks, hurling a boulder at Minas Tirith, crushing a battlemented tower and the Gondorians stop laughing abruptly. “…of…of…OMFG IT WORKS!” Witch King says. “OMFG?” Orc asks. “I…forget it…build as many of these as you can.” Witch King orders. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Bring forward Grond!” Witch King shouts. “…Grond?” Orc asks. “…don’t tell me, you forgot it…” Witch King says. “Oh no, no…it was too heavy.” Orc says. “Even for the trolls?” Witch King asks. “Trolls? HAH! Trolls aren’t strong…just tremendously fat, which makes them arrow and sword proof.” Orc says. “Fine, whatever, just bring Grond up.” Witch King says. “Alright, we’ll try to get those rhinos to pull it up…but they don’t understand us.” Orc says. “What’s to understand? Pat them on the head, point to Grond, and then to Minas Tirith…” Witch King says. “Ohhhh…I see…we never actually had the idea of communicating in any other way besides talking…my bad…” Orc says. “…retard…” Witch King says. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wrote this during class... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- lol...I'll probably post a bunch of posts at random from now on, having no storyline whatsoever...but for now, I'll continue with the storyline of the Siege of Minas Tirith. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "GROND! GROND! GROND! GROND!" Orcs shout as the gate of Minas Tirith is rammed. "Ohhh...you guys are giving me a headache...certaintly if Grond doesn't break it down your voices will..." says Witch King. "The gate has broken! What are your orders, my lord?" Gothmog asks. "Move into the city, kill all in your path..." Witch King says. Orcs file into the city...wondering where all the Gondorians are. They split up into pairs, and begin searching the city. An hour later, the Witch King lands on the third level and asks them "Well? Have you head from the scouts yet?" "No, lord, they all died." Orc says. "Why? What killed them?" Witch King asks. "The Gondorians. They offered them ice cream, which turned out to be poisoned..." Orc says. "...what is it with orcs and ice cream in this stupid story that Apollo is writing? That dumb guy doesn't even know that orcs are lactose and tolerant..." Witch King says. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ PART II : The reformation of the Orc Hordes "Alright, you're really starting to tick me off...are you sure they're all dead?" Witch King asks. "Well, they're not moving, and they're all lying on the ground...and they turned green!" Orc says. "...they're always green." Witch King says. "...oh yeah..." Orc says. "Go try and wake them or something..." Witch King orders. "Okay..." Orc skips off, finds an orc lying on the ground. "Like this one?" Orc asks. "Yeah..." Witch King says. The orc pulls out a sword and stabs the other orc. "..." Witch King stares. "...no sir, I don't think he's alive..." Orc says. "...well...duh! You just stabbed him! Even if he had been alive, he's dead now! Why are you such a hinderance to me?" Witch King asks. "...I don't know what hind...hindramence means my lord." Orc says. "But if it makes you feel better, the easterlings didn't eat the ice cream, so we still have them..." "...that makes me feel much better, now I have some decent companions to destroy..." "...but they all died too." Orc says. "...WHY!?" Witch King shouts. "...the guy at the head of their column tripped, and the guy behind him tripped over him, and the same with the guy behind them...and there was a big pile up of bodies..." Orc says. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ![]()
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| Tribal Wars. Build. Command. Conquer. | |
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| Lachlan | Jun 23 2005, 11:40 PM Post #2 |
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High Captain
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LMAO, i love the wrapper catapult one
Soon your parodies, will rule everywhere! MUHAHHAHA, lol. |
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| Hound | Jun 24 2005, 06:34 AM Post #3 |
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Skittles
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LOL YAY YAY YAY.....................................................................................................................YAY |
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Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside. Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.' Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios. Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?Peter: Oh yeah. | |
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| Lord Sunnycool | Jun 24 2005, 07:31 AM Post #4 |
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Lord of the Forums
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I thought they were funny, but please try and look at these three LotR-parodies movies THEY ARE HOLLARIOUS FUN! http://www.flashplayer.com/animation/oneringse.html Number 1:SE in series http://www.flashplayer.com/animation/ring2.html Number 2 http://www.flashplayer.com/animation/ring3.html Number 3 They are all FUUN as hell, but I like 1 and 2 best check em out!
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| Kirby | Jun 24 2005, 08:29 AM Post #5 |
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Commander of the White Army
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lol quite good. |
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| Lieutenant Of Morgul | Jun 24 2005, 03:49 PM Post #6 |
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Honoured Warrior
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Sunny those parodies are utter shit. Apollo's are fantastic though cant wait to read more
Keep up the good work... |
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| Alex | Jun 25 2005, 04:25 PM Post #7 |
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Commander of the White Army
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Go, LoM! They're alright- but Apollo's are really good. I love the poisened ice cream. |
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| Lachlan | Jun 26 2005, 11:29 AM Post #8 |
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High Captain
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Here, i made one(thought of it, whilst talking to James): Orcs, march forward after taking Osgiliath. They soon reaach the Rammas wall, to get held up, by the Customs. Customs officer: Um, excuse me. You can't bring those weapons across the border, not to mention those orcs, who knows what diseases they could be carrying! WK: Co'mon! Give me a break! Gothmog! show these people, our papers! Gothmog: Yes sir! why can't we go through, i lost the papers, a troll accediantly ate them, it thought it was icecream, can't you just let us through! Customs officer: Only if those Orcs are cleaned, to kill the diseases, and those weapons, blunted. *The Mordor host, complys, then passes the border, only to be halted by Mr whippy* Orc1: I want some icecream! WK: Um, no! Orc 2: *starts crying* WK: Oh, for petes sake! Gothmog where, did you get these so called "warriors"?! Gothmog: Um, well...the Morranoran orcs, wanted a pay rise, but Sauron was a cheap skate, and didn't give them one, they're striking for higher wages, so we got stuck with the mordor orc scum. WK: Fine! go get your damned icecream! just be back in an hour! And no! i don't have any money! Orc 1: yay!*waddles of with the rest of army* WK:*looks at watch* Where have those simpletons gotten too?! LOL, i'll finish the rest latter. Sorry if it's crap.
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| Berethor | Jun 26 2005, 06:37 PM Post #9 |
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Honour Guard Captain
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I don't think it's crap.
I wasn't expecting the Customs Officer...that was pretty funny. I'll add more when I'm in the "funny mood"
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| Tribal Wars. Build. Command. Conquer. | |
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| Ariakas | Jun 26 2005, 10:44 PM Post #10 |
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Unregistered
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SAURON: I see YOU!!!! FRODO: I told you I did not want to play!!!!! ---------------------------------------------------------- GALADRIEL: Will you look into the mirror? FRODO: What will I see? GALADRIEL: Dunno... your reflection maybe? ---------.............................----------------- FRODO: There are strange markings. I can't read them... GANDALF: There are few who can...*take the Ring* hmmm, "Insert finger here" |
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| Berethor | Jun 27 2005, 12:32 AM Post #11 |
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Honour Guard Captain
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Not bad...not bad at all.---------------------------------- Gandalf: "The wall of Moria. This is a riddle. Speak friend and enter." Frodo: "What does it mean?" Gandalf: "Quite simple really. If you're a friend, you speak the password and you may enter." Gimli: "Actually Gandalf...I believe that says no smoking or skateboarding while staying at the Moria 6 Inn. Enjoy your stay." Gandalf: "Nonsence...I'm smoking right now and nothing's happening." Gimli: "That's because you're smoking gandalf, if you weren't smoking then the door would open." Gandalf: "Oh..." --------------------------------- Pretty lame, I know, but I just thought of it off the top of my head, given the idea by Ariakas's "insert finger here". |
| Tribal Wars. Build. Command. Conquer. | |
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| Kirby | Jun 27 2005, 05:34 AM Post #12 |
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Commander of the White Army
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Cool and good one locky and ariakas. |
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| Lachlan | Jun 27 2005, 11:48 AM Post #13 |
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High Captain
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Yeah, good ones, people. |
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| Lord Sunnycool | Jun 27 2005, 12:49 PM Post #14 |
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Lord of the Forums
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You didn't make that one up - I have heard it before just like this: Galadriel to Frodo: Look in the Mirror! Frodor: What will I see? Galadriel: YOURSLEF YOU IDIOT |
![]() "It is acceptable to spend the lives of those under your command! It is however not acceptable to waste those lives!" The White Library | |
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| re-maxi | Jun 27 2005, 01:35 PM Post #15 |
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Captain
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just want to say to sunny that no matter what is it funny...
BTW they are all very cool... |
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| Kirby | Jun 28 2005, 05:23 AM Post #16 |
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Commander of the White Army
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He didnt really say that he made them up, but he should of given credit to the place he got it from. |
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| Alex | Jul 3 2005, 04:28 PM Post #17 |
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Commander of the White Army
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I think they are excellent |
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| Ariakas | Jul 10 2005, 11:06 PM Post #18 |
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Unregistered
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I got the Sauron/Frodo and Frodo/Gandalf from somewhere on The Last Alliance... the Galadriel/Frodo I made myself even if it is very similiar to the one you had Lord Sunnycool |
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| Lord Sunnycool | Jul 11 2005, 08:58 AM Post #19 |
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Lord of the Forums
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Could it be I have seen it in your signature maybe? |
![]() "It is acceptable to spend the lives of those under your command! It is however not acceptable to waste those lives!" The White Library | |
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| Ariakas | Jul 11 2005, 05:12 PM Post #20 |
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Unregistered
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what? |
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