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| Matthew Hunt | |
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| Topic Started: Mar 8 2018, 05:53 PM (235 Views) | |
| Super Weegee | Mar 8 2018, 05:53 PM Post #1 |
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Cannon Fodder
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Name: Matthew Hunt Gender: Male Age: 17 Grade: 12 School: George Hunter High School Hobbies and Interests: Video games, making and watching movies, browsing the internet, listening to music, watching the news Appearance: Matthew has blue eyes, brown hair, and fair white skin. His face is chubby and his eyes are blue with a bit of a green shade. He also has a faint scar slightly above his left eyebrow, with black hairs covering it. Overweight with an endomorph appearance at 200 pounds and 5'11" in height, he prefers to wear his hoodies throughout the day. He usually wears long pants and short-sleeved shirts underneath his jacket. His hair is thick and short, so he doesn't usually brush it unless he is going to a formal event or if it looks extremely out of place in general. He also prefers to shave every week, as he doesn't want to grow in a beard. At the time of the abduction, he recently got a shave and was wearing his favorite red hoodie. Under it was a short-sleeved blue shirt and a long black sports pants with two white lines from top to bottom on each side. Biography: Matthew's parents, Everett and Brenda, encountered each other at a restaurant during one of the Everett’s day off. Everett works as a boss at a delivery service while Brenda used to work as a chef at the previously mentioned restaurant. Over the course of a few months, they got more and more familiar with one another until Brenda decided to ask Everett out on a date. After a few years pass, they finally decided to get married and have a family. On November 6, 2000, Matthew Hunt was born When Matthew was 2 years old, he fell down a flight of stairs in his home and had to be rushed over to the doctor, where they had to stitch up one of the cuts on his head due to the wound being more than half an inch long. Over the course of a couple years, the scar was reduced to a faint line covered by a line of hair from his left eyebrow. While it is normally waxed off every couple years, people would have to be up close to even notice the scar at all. When Matthew was 4 years old, Brenda got fired due to a patron suffering a severe allergic reaction. The allergy was noted several times both by the customer and on paper, but she denied that she was ever told about it and accused her co-workers of writing down after the reaction took place. Firmly believing that she was wronged, she sued the restaurant and won due to major contradictions in the stories of each of the staff members. She won a significant amount of money, but it came with the cost of the company not hiring her at any place that they happened to own. Brenda got an new job working as an accountant for a paper company. It made less money, but she was noted to be satisfied with her new position. However, it was at a location significantly farther than her old job. Everett was unhappy with the situation and argued back and forth with Brenda over what to do. Brenda wanted to stay at their old home and just deal with the far distance of the job, but Everett noted that it would require hiring a babysitter or dropping Matthew off at a daycare for longer periods of time, which Everett feared would affect him negatively. Everett managed to calm Brenda down when it looked like the argument would get out of hand, and eventually convinced her to follow his idea. That idea involved moving the family to a gated community, which was in the Birchwood area. The decision was made based on Everett’s position, in which he makes more money than Brenda and all of his co-workers, and the money Brenda won in the lawsuit. Matthew would go to school a year later. He had an average experience in elementary school, with the worst of his grades being a low C. It was during Matthew's time in elementary school that he grew fond of video games, movies, and music. He saw one of his friends at the time playing a game, who gave him a chance to play as well after seeing how excited Matthew was over what was being shown to him on TV. He loved it almost immediately and begged his parents to buy him a console. When he got his first Playstation at the age of 6, he quickly learned the controls and is now in possession of every console afterwards. Over the course of several years, he was unknowingly improving his hand-eye coordination and reaction time due to the difficulties of certain games. Matthew's interest in movies began around the same time he got his Playstation, when he was introduced to two movies called Toy Story 1 and 2. He loved the characters and music, as well as the stories when he got older. The music from the movies and games were also what sparked his interest in other music. When asked about his favorites now, he will typically say that his favorite games are the Kingdom Hearts series, for both the gameplay and story, and that his favorite movie is WALL-E. He doesn't have a favorite song, as he said that he couldn't pick a favorite. Matthew developed his own opinions regarding his parents also around the same time. When asked about them, he would say that Everett was a bit more loose than Brenda regarding certain rules, and Matthew would also say that he likes his father more due to how calmly he handles situations. Brenda seems to be too worrying and nagging in Matthew’s eyes. When Matthew transferred to the middle school, however, he was made fun of and harassed by his classmates due to getting angered extremely easily. Some of the smarter kids found out through Google about the lawsuit that Brenda was involved in, found out that Matthew’s mother had the same name, and put two and two together, which made the bullying worse after the news about the lawsuit spread. After one particularly bad day, he decided to confront one of the bullies. After they made a comment that her mother deliberately tried to murder a customer, Matthew’s anger got the best of him and he assaulted them. The school staff broke up the fight and the principal suspended both him and the bully due to the zero-tolerance policy. After Matthew's parents were called about it, they practically screamed in his face about what he did and grounded him for a month. Due to this incident, Matthew developed his father's personality of being calm and collected over the course of his time in the middle school. This is because whenever he does show his anger, he was usually harassed or mocked for it. He typically doesn't let his emotions get in the way, but he does panic or get emotional when his limit is reached. After Matthew’s limit is reached, he is noted to not care about bottling up his feelings of the situation or person and act depending on the situation. It typically varies between being blunt after running out of patience and getting aggressive towards other people when he is furious. This extended to his transfer in high school. It was during this time that Matthew decided to take a film course due to his increased interest in movies. He found both the stories of them and production behind said movies to be the most interesting, especially when it comes to certain effects and storylines. Some time during Matthew’s freshmen year, he decided to join the film club. He remained there throughout his freshmen, sophomore, junior, and the majority of his senior year. During his time there and with the assistance of his film elective class, he slowly got better at acting and camerawork over the course of nearly 4 years. While he had his ups and downs, the other students do talk to him regularly and Matthew has no problems talking to them. Matthew doesn't have a wide variety of food that he eats and only eats a select number of things, with the vast majority of them being unhealthy. Everett and Brenda wanted to save money when it came to buying food and didn’t know how poor of a choice that was until after Matthew began to gain weight. After Everett and Brenda realized, they tried to get Matthew to try new things, with progress recently picking up in speed. However, they never encouraged him to exercise, which further contributed to his chubby appearance. This is only noticeable when he's wearing tight clothing or not wearing anything at all. Aside from playing games online later on in his life, Matthew has also developed an interest in current events due to browsing the internet and watching the news. He thought it was important to be aware of events happening around the world and how everyone is reacting to them. He also created an account on Reddit to create posts and threads, as well as leave comments on them to show how he's reacting to something as well. However, it came with the side effect of making him slightly cynical due to the negative stories that he reads and the numerous arguments he has with other people with differing views. The constant arguments he gets into eventually affected him in the real world. This affected his relationship with other people as he has a habit of being sarcastic which, if he does it around certain topics, can be seen by other people as him being offensive. When it comes to classes, Matthew finds his film, social studies, and english classes to be his favorites. He dislikes Math, but it is noted that he does see how it can apply to his future. However, he hates science and foreign languages due to how boring and unimportant it is, and also hates physical education. He doesn’t like or dislike the fine arts classes and just finds them okay. Matthew sees anyone else that he doesn’t dislike, hate, or find annoying to be good acquaintances. There are only a few people that he considers to be friends and prefers to hang out with them over others. He considers himself to be straight, but doesn’t express any interest in a relationship publicly due to the fear of potentially ruining a friendship if he confesses to them. Matthew plans to be a part of the film industry after high school. Matthew resembles his mother in his eye color, but has his father's hair and personality. He is typically reserved and tend to get to the point with other people when it’s important. While he prefers to spend his time inside at home, he hangs out with his other classmates on occasion. Brenda is more outgoing and cheerful. Despite their differences in personalities, they still loved each other. Advantages: Matthew is mostly level-headed and calm, never letting his emotions get in the way unless during certain circumstances. As a result of playing video games, he reacts more quickly to anything and is less prone to have an object slip from his hands. Matthew is also a good actor due to the films he acts in. Disadvantages: Due to never exercising outside of P.E. classes and eating unhealthy foods, Matthew is heavy and slow when moving. He can have trouble eating certain things due to his selective food options and his cynicalism and sarcasm can also prove to be detrimental in some relationships or conflicts. When he loses his cool, he tends to lash out at other people. Edited by Super Weegee, Mar 16 2018, 05:26 PM.
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| backslash | Mar 15 2018, 10:23 PM Post #2 |
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Who is this sassy lost child
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Hey Super Weegee, welcome to your first character critique! Matthew's off to a good start, but is temporarily DENIED as he's in need of some editing and expansion. Let's take a look. 5'11" and 173 pounds is in the upper bracket of a healthy range, but still considered healthy all the same. Matthew wouldn't be considered overweight with that height and weight. What's his body type like? If he is overweight, where does he carry the extra weight?
Referring to Everett and Brenda as "the father" and "the mother" is a bit confusing. Referring to them by name or as "Matthew's father/mother" works better.
I'm assuming you meant that this was the date he was born. If not, please put in the date that Matthew was born rather than conceived.
Just pulling out this individual example here, but it applies to the whole profile: when starting a new paragraph, be sure to mention the subject by name, rather than with pronouns, to avoid confusion. The paragraph covering Matthew's interest in video games is a bit out of place, as it comes right after an incident that happened when he was 4, jumps to his preteen years, and then we go back to when he started elementary school. Shift that around so we're moving chronologically throughout the biography. Gated communities are generally upper-class, expensive neighborhoods. If Brenda's firing and new job resulted in lower income for the family, their move being a result of her new job doesn't make a lot of sense. Where did they live before? Some more detail about Everett's job could help clear this up; what kind of delivery service does he work at? Based on that description alone, I would assume he's some sort of driver or mail carrier, which aren't huge-paying professions. Did they use the payout from Brenda's settlement with her old employer to buy their new home? What was Matthew bullied for? I find it odd that his mom getting fired from her job years before would be common knowledge among Matthew's peers, since that sort of incident is not actually all that uncommon or scandalous in the food industry. I'm also curious about Matthew's reaction to being punished for starting a fight. Almost nothing has been said about his father or Matthew's relationship with him up to this point, so Matthew deciding to adopt his father's personality kind of comes out of nowhere. Expand on that a bit. I'd also like to know more about how Matthew deals with his negative emotions since he decided to act more calmly; does he bottle things up, or does he use his interests as an outlet? When he does lose control of his emotions, what happens? Does he lash out verbally or physically at others? Does he throw himself into an activity he's interested in? Why did he decide that he shouldn't show anger at all once he reached high school? The paragraphs about Matthew's hobbies are a good start, but I need more detail about all of them. What drew him to these specific interests in the first place, and what does he like about them? Why are Matthew's eating habits so poor? Do his parents ever encourage him to eat better or exercise more? Is he or are they concerned about his health? How does Matthew do in school these days? What subjects does he like and dislike? What are his friendships and other relationships like? Since he's a senior, what are his post-high school plans? As a rule, everything that comes up in the Advantages/Disadvantages section should have been previously covered in the biography. Matthew's reflexes and hand-eye coordination and his acting ability are not mentioned before the Advantages section. If his cynicism negatively affects his interactions with others, this should also be detailed in the biography. Post back in here once you've taken care of those things, and I'll give Matthew another look! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. |
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"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you." Characters Others
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| Super Weegee | Mar 16 2018, 10:32 AM Post #3 |
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Cannon Fodder
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Edits made! |
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V7
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| backslash | Mar 16 2018, 03:11 PM Post #4 |
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Who is this sassy lost child
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Okay, we're looking lots better already, but there's still a few things to take care of. Matthew has gone from average to obese with this last edit. It's mentioned later in the profile that his physique isn't that noticeable most of the time, which doesn't really gel with his weight and body type as currently described. If you're having trouble getting him to where you're envisioning, I recommend using something like this BMI calculator to help. The paragraph about Matthew's interest in video games and movies is still out of place. We're jumping from age 4 to age 10-12, then back to age 5-6; move that paragraph to a later point in the profile so it's in chronological order. Additionally, expand on Matthew's interest in films and music here; so far, it's only addressed how he got into video games. What does Matthew do on the internet besides reading and watching the news? It's listed as one of his hobbies, but right now it seems like all he does is keep up with current events, which is its own thing. The names of school subjects don't need to be capitalized. While staying calm in most situations is an advantage, it can be noted in the disadvantages that Matthew does tend to lash out when he loses his cool. Post back in here once you've made those edits, and I'll look at Matthew again! |
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"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you." Characters Others
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| Super Weegee | Mar 16 2018, 05:31 PM Post #5 |
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Cannon Fodder
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Thanks for the BMI calculator. Edits and clarifications have been made again! |
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| backslash | Mar 16 2018, 05:34 PM Post #6 |
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Who is this sassy lost child
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APPROVED |
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"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you." Characters Others
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