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| Yuko Hayashibara; knuck knuck its knuckles in here | |
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| Topic Started: Feb 21 2018, 06:11 PM (223 Views) | |
| Yugikun | Feb 21 2018, 06:11 PM Post #1 |
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maybe if you're lucky the random avatar will sync up to the character you're reading right now
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Name: Yuko Hayashibara (林原 由子) Gender: Female Age: 17 Grade: 12th School: George Hunter High School Hobbies and Interests: Animals, sports, in particular softball and soccer, activism, anti-bullying Appearance: Yuko is fairly tall for her age, standing at 5'11" and weighing 150 lbs, being notably taller than both of her sisters due to her attempts at exercise and having a different diet than the other two. She has a slender build, possessing toned muscles across her whole body and with low body fat resulting in a flat chest. She is Japanese in ethnicity, and due to time frequently spent outside she is fairly tan, resulting in her skin being a slightly dark shade of brown. Her face is circular, has almond-shaped eyes colored dark brown, thin eyebrows, a small, round nose, and thin lips. Her black hair is fairly short in length, and is naturally spiky. It is frequently styled by her sister, Yuka, and on the day of abduction her hair was shaped in a pixie cut. Yuko personally does not use makeup unless on formal occasions, finding it to be pointless and too much of a hassle to put on. Her attire mainly consists of light clothes, which she opts to wear because she finds them easier to exercise them. During warmer months, Yuko typically wears types of clothes such as t-shirts, tank tops, and shorts. During cooler months, Yuko tends to wear light jackets and baggy pants, as a way for her to maintain warmth without weighing herself down too much. In terms of footwear, she almost always wears running shoes, finding them easy to do sports in and finding more formal types of footwear to be uncomfortable and impractical. Occasionally, she wears earrings, finding the shapes on them cute and finding out from her sisters that they look good on her. On the day of the abduction, Yuko wore a black tank top, white spandex shorts, and black Nike running shoes with white laces. Biography: Yuko Hayashibara was born as the first of a set of fraternal triplets on the 3rd of June, 2000 to parents Kengo Hayashibara and Emi Hayashibara, nee Yagami. The two were Japanese immigrants, first meeting each at the University of Tokyo and falling in love during that time to the point where they married two years after graduating. They were employed as business managers for the Tokyo building but due to a job transfer had to move to Chattanooga, Tennessee, where they to this day help manage the town's Capital Toyota. Out of the triplets, Yuko is the oldest sister, being born thirty minutes before both her sisters. Yuko has always had a close relationship with her sisters, being very supportive and protective when she is around either of them. In addition to this, she is very grateful towards her parents, because they have allowed her to pursue her passion for sports and games. Growing up, Yuko was an energetic child. She loved to run around and play, as well as interact with other kids. Yuko especially showed an interest in the games being played on the playground — examples being basketball, jump rope, and four square — because they allowed her to act on the latent energy that she had and allowed her to exert herself. In addition, Yuko’s early childhood fostered two aspects of her that still remain to this day, her arachnophobia and her love for animals. When she was four years old, Yuko once woke up in the middle of the night to find that a spider had crawled onto her face. Although her screams caused her parents to rush into the room and quickly remove the spider, she was unable to sleep for the rest of the night, and she began to have nightmares about the event afterwards. This has created a fear of spiders that has lasted to this day, a fear that she is annoyed about due to knowing that this fear is common — and fairly minor within her, only experiencing brief jolts of fear whenever she sees one — and feeling embarrassed to admit that she is hindered, as it goes against the person it wants to come off as and due to the ridicule she has recieved by friends for having the fear. Another aspect of her that stems from her childhood is a love that she has for animals and pets. As she walked to school every day, she would often pass a pet shop, one which had a variety of animals that she would look at and marvel as she went through the area. This gave way for a liking for animals, and although she was never allowed to buy a pet, due to her parents having strict policies on spending money, she still has a fondness for animals that can be seen as pets, particular examples being cats, hamsters, and even more uncommon pets such as bats and bearded dragons. She likes them because she finds them cute, generally changing her demeanor if she sees one she considers so, and in order to fulfill this interest works at the local animal shelter as a part time job, where she frequently does heavy work and takes care of the animals there. Middle school soon approached for Yuko, and puberty soon followed. Although her life initially was the same as it was in elementary school, focusing on playing games in the playground with school itself taking a back burner, she soon began noticing the physical traits of the opposite gender, and soon started developing romantic feelings towards the male members of her cohort. These feelings were mostly uncontrollable, and she would often end up having crushes on multiple different people at a time; something that made her feel awkward and something that made her have issues in talking to the other sex. This resulted in her social circle in middle school being mostly girls, and with her trying to ignore other guys unless in cases such as when she was playing sport or when she had to interact with them. These feelings persisted, but Yuko managed to get past them. Although she still frequently have crushes on other guys in her cohort, she can easily put these feelings aside and interact with them without her feeling much awkwardness doing so. Yuko’s interests in playground games, as she transitioned into middle school, evolved into more professional sports. She had lost her interest in basketball during her elementary school years, finding the sport too physical for her taste, but quickly grew to love softball instead after playing the sport during a PE class back in elementary school and joining the softball team on a whim during middle school, her father helping her practice as he used to be a pitcher for his high school baseball team. In addition, she became interested in soccer after having played it during a lunchtime, joining the team for that as well. To her, she likes both sports because she finds the physical part of it exhilarating and because it allows for her to interact with the majority of her friends, mainly sporty people not limited to the softball/soccer teams. In addition, she likes to go jogging on an almost-daily basis for many reasons, partially because it allows her to clear her mind and think about things related to her life, it allows her to train for softball, and it allows her to interact with some of the people she jogs with, with her having a couple of jogging partners brought from school. At some point during middle school, Yuka came out as bisexual to the rest of the family. Because of this Yuko’s view on LGBT students adjusted, at first not really caring about the matter but coming to see LGBT individuals as normal people after Yuka came out, occasionally joining activist events in the local area. She also is tolerant of those of different ethnicity, being Japanese herself and with many of her friends being those of a different ethnicity to hers, and also wishes to fight for gender rights, advocating for the merging of the different gender sports teams and often proclaiming that even as a woman she can still do anything a man could do. As she moved on into high school, not a lot much changed in Yuko’s personality. The abundance of energy she had meant that she was fairly loud and energetic when talking to other people, and her accomplishments in the softball and soccer teams meant that she had a fairly prideful attitude. She is aware of her own traits, and uses that to try and project the image of a tough girl, although she is slightly insecure about this due to her fondness for animals, her fear of spiders, and her tendency to crush easily, and tries not to let these aspects be known as much to other people. In addition, after seeing an incident of bullying happening in the hallways, and seeing many people watching the events without doing anything about it, she decided that she wouldn’t be one of those people, and elected to join the anti-bullying committee. Due to her interests in activism and her image of being the tough girl among the set of triplets, she will not stand for bullying in any form, and will likely confront anyone who she sees bullying or discrimination in the hallways, trying to get in their face and strongarm them into backing down. Academically, Yuko is a fairly average student, her grades ranging around the B to C area with the occasional A. Her weakest subject is Math, which she finds way too complex for her to understand, and she often needs help or tutoring with it, something that her sister Yuki provides for her. Her strong suit is physical education, with her physically active nature easily allowing her to excel in the practical part of the course and with the concepts introduced in the theory part being easy to her. Socially, she’s fairly well off. She tends to gel well with the more sporty kids in her cohort, so long as they don’t bully others, and also has a personality that allows her to converse with people outside of that social sphere fairly easily. Romantically, Yuko has gotten over her awkwardness with the other sex, and has gone on a couple of dates with others in her year, and although none of her relationships have been particularly long term she has remained on good terms with all the people she has been with. Advantages: Yuko, due to years of sport training, is physically adept for the island, with softball and jogging allowing her to run quickly towards or away from a situation and giving her a physically strong body, something that might be useful in a fight. In addition, the positive aspects of her personality, something that allowed her to get friends back in high school, can help for her to attain allies on the island, with her personality being fairly easy for others to gel with. Disadvantages: Yuko has a very prideful personality, something that could be a hindrance to her chances of survival if she values her image of being a tough girl too much. In addition, her experience in the anti-bullying committee shows that she can be very abrasive when it comes to people being antagonistic, and this nature might result in her jumping into a situation that she might be unprepared or ill-equipped for. |
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In a V7 near you! Coming to a V7 near you! The Past Hi! I have a blog! Please check it out and follow and stuff!
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| backslash | Mar 1 2018, 01:54 PM Post #2 |
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Who is this sassy lost child
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Hey there Yugi, Yuko's off to a good start but is temporarily DENIED pending some changes. At 5'11" and 130 pounds, Yuko is considered underweight. The average female basketball player, who would have a height similar to Yuko's, is closer to 150 pounds, and Yuko's current height and weight doesn't lend itself to an athletic figure. Even a lean muscled girl is probably going to weigh more at her height. On the topic of Yuko's height: identical siblings rarely have a height difference of more than a couple of inches. How did Yuko end up almost a foot taller than her triplet sisters, and well above the average height for a woman of her ethnic background at that? Diet could play a part, but I have a hard time seeing it being solely responsible here. Getting into the profile itself, I'm sure you can guess what I'm going to say about all these em-dashes. The vast majority of them need to go, as they appear in places where you should be using commas or no punctuation at all, or because they're delivering information that isn't actually necessary. I'm going to edit just the first paragraph of Yuko's biography to give you an idea of how to improve readability.
In some cases, I'd recommend rearranging a sentence if you can't make it work by replacing dashes with commas. For example:
If you prefer this to the other suggested change, that works just as well. In the paragraph discussing Yuko's crushes, there's some confusing phrasing: referring to boys in her class as "other boys" makes it sound like Yuko herself is a boy.
Remove the apostrophe and s. I'm not sold on the statement that Yuko's personality has no potential turnoffs for allies, given that her disadvantages include being prideful and abrasive. I get what you're going for with her circle of friends and generally easygoing nature, but that should be reworded. Take care of those things and post back here once you're through, and I'll take another look at Yuko! |
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"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you." Characters Others
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| Yugikun | Mar 10 2018, 12:41 AM Post #3 |
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maybe if you're lucky the random avatar will sync up to the character you're reading right now
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In a V7 near you! Coming to a V7 near you! The Past Hi! I have a blog! Please check it out and follow and stuff!
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| backslash | Mar 10 2018, 11:34 AM Post #4 |
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Who is this sassy lost child
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Better, but there are still a few things to address. Are the triplets identical or fraternal? I had been assuming they were identical but there's actually no mention of it in either Yuko or Yuki's profiles. If they are fraternal, I could buy Yuko's unusual height; if they're identical, a height difference of 9 inches just doesn't seem plausible no matter how much more athletic Yuko is than her sisters. Exercise doesn't generally make you taller.
Wrong kind of dash. How dare you disrespect my family like this. I'd like a little more elaboration on Yuko's arachnophobia. How severely does it affect her at present, and in what situations? If it's severe enough, it could be included in her disadvantages. And that's all. Post back here once you've taken care of those things, and Yuko should be good to go. |
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"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you." Characters Others
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| Yugikun | Mar 18 2018, 06:02 PM Post #5 |
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maybe if you're lucky the random avatar will sync up to the character you're reading right now
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In a V7 near you! Coming to a V7 near you! The Past Hi! I have a blog! Please check it out and follow and stuff!
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| backslash | Mar 18 2018, 06:07 PM Post #6 |
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Who is this sassy lost child
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Yuko is approval-worthy now, but in light of posting loss in my critique thread I have instead elected to ban you. Ugh, fine. APPROVED |
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"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you." Characters Others
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