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Piet Lick; XXX
Topic Started: Feb 18 2018, 02:16 PM (146 Views)
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Name: Piet Lick
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: Senior
School: George Hunter High School
Hobbies and Interests: Water Polo, Swimming, General Fitness, Casual Sex, Administrative Theory

Appearance: Piet stands at 5'10'' and has a weight of 170 lbs. He possesses an athletic build and his body fat percentage hovers around the low tens. Piet's skin changes complexion visibly as the season passes. While he has a naturally pale tone, his outdoor activities tan him significantly in the warmer months.

Piet's dark blond hair is naturally wavy, however it shows signs of damage due to regular exposure to pool water. Generally, Piet wears a small wolf's tail with a few strands of hair hanging in front of his forehead. His eyes are dark green. The shape of his face can be described as diamond-shaped. Another prominent feature is his elongated nose, although it is only something one would notice while looking at him from the side. Piet tends to wear some stubble on his chin.

Piet follows the high school dress code fairly strictly. In his free time, however, he prefers styles that emphasize his body more. In the warmer months, Piet is notable due to his choice of denim hot pants, an open-buttoned short-sleeved dress shirt and a bare chest as his attire.

Biography: Piet was born on the 17th of September 1999 in Chattanooga. His parents, Guy and Maribelle Lee, moved to the city in early 1997 from upstate New York after the extended Lick family had a fall-out due to Piet's paternal grandfather Freddy Lick leaving no will, but an estate worth around 12.500.000 Dollar. Guy and Maribelle managed to gain possession of a house and lot in St. Elmo, in which they moved in after leaving New York.

Guy Lick had found work in a management position within a Chattanooga-based but state-wide operating wholesale and logistics firm. Mirabelle Lee, a trained social worker, switched to a part-time position in a St. Elmo elementary school where she supported the already-present social workers in cases of sickness or vacation leave. However, in 1997 and the following three years, Mirabelle Lee gave up her work entirely to focus on her only son Piet. In his early years, it was with his mother that Piet spent the most time. Whether it'd be school events, or being driven to various activities, it was generally his mother rather than his father who was with him.

It was with Mirabelle Lee that Piet discovered his affinity for water. Mirabelle Lee, who had herself swam in meets in high school and college, thought it was important and appropriate for her son to learn to swim as well. They started going to visit pools when Piet was two, so as to make him familiar with the water, and she managed to teach him how to swim properly even before he was attending elementary school.

When Piet was 10, he joined the water polo team of his middle school. Mirabelle Lee had made the acquaintance of an instructor of said club during the visits with her son, and she thought it would be good enough of an idea for Piet to try it out. Piet agreed with that assessment, and soon found himself massively enjoying the sport.

In the meanwhile, Mirabelle Lee grew more distant to her family. She had left her home in New York and followed Guy to a different state, and even after years of marriage she held sincere and warm feelings towards both her husband and her son. However, despite this, she began to feel caged and trapped. In conversations with friends, Mirabelle Lee would say that she yearned for something new, and that she wanted to be more free. However, her uneasiness was also a result of an undiscovered and unresolved case of paranoid personality disorder developing. In particular, the events of Survival of the Fittest caused her to think that her son was in latent danger of being abducted. As she started to believe in being tracked, she would eventually come to the conclusion that her presence was a danger to her son, even though she did not vocalize these feelings.

Mirabelle Lee left her husband and her son in September 2010. To Guy, she argued that she felt the need for a break. Guy was unsure as to how to handle this at first, but eventually came to accept his wife's decision. Together, they agreed that Mirabelle Lee and Guy would remain married, and stay in sporadic contact, even if she was moving away. As to how to break these news to their son, there was some confusion at first. Mirabelle Lee believed that the decision behind her action would confuse and confound Piet due to it's complex character. An assessment with which Guy agreed. Guy's explanations toward Piet remained vague and non-descriptive. In general, Guy told that Piet's mother simply needed a break from her normal life, and that she would at some point return.

Piet's reaction to this would be taken as stoic. Even as his mother's break turned out to last years, Piet remained seemingly carefree about the affair. Due to this, Piet's continued sportive activities and stable academic performance, Guy came to believe that his son had taken this reality well enough. However, Piet had simply learned to mask his feelings better, and conduct himself in public properly. Piet began to grow distrustful and suspicious of his surroundings, questioning the motives and actions of other people.

Soon enough, Piet came to the realization that he harbored homosexual feelings. He kept quiet about this for a while, but his father Guy had a good eye for this. Guy noticed his son's vague dismissals about having a girlfriend, and Piet's longing for male physical affection. Guy concluded that his son was gay, but due to his liberal uprising accepted this fact. When Piet was 14, Guy treated his son for a private glass of beer, and as a token of good will exclaimed that he both knew that Piet was gay and that Guy would accept this. Piet's apparent reaction was joyous, and he expressed gratitude for his father's understanding. However, the truth of his feelings was that Piet felt attacked. He had hoped to hide his gay nature, and felt disappointed and shocked when his father confronted him, even if it was done cordially and welcoming. In a sense, this was a turning point in how Piet would work with his sexuality. Due to the fact that he could not keep it secretive – and his later-on evolving yearning for physical intimacy – Piet began to be open about his preference, and is also quite blunt about it.

As Piet entered high school, his sex life would increase in activity. The combination of his relatively good looks and an hormone-boosted libido led to enough opportunities for Piet to engage in sexual activities. Due to his inherent distrust of other people's motivations, Piet is unable to feel romantic love properly. As such, he very soon began to see his sexual activity completely divorced from his emotional attachments.

More concretely, Piet is a controlling person. This is true in his love life, but also his general demeanor. He enjoys touching people, but dislikes being touched without his permission. There are often exact visions of how different projects – academics, sports, and all else – are to be executed and achieved in his mind. Piet tries to take on the leading role whenever possible, and grows irritated when other people deviate from what Piet's actual plans were.

In high school, his performances in English and Political Science, as well as Physical Education are almost without peer. Piet achieves regular top scores in these areas without an inappropriate amount of investments in terms of learning. In all other courses, his performance fall to a level between the grades of C and D. There are no particular classes or courses where he is noticeably bad, however.

Socially, Piet's reception in school is divided. The vast majority people Piet met are put off by his bossy attitude. Additionally, his bold stance regarding his own sexuality is not liked by everyone. There are even plenty of boys with which Piet had started a sexual relationship, which turned sour. In particular, Piet's general suspicious on his surrounding make it difficult for him to bond with people. He, however, makes an effort to do so. Once, because it would make him stand out more if he was both a loner platonically and extroverted sexually, Also, as a member of different school clubs he is trying to keep a cordial relationship with those people, even if only to make interacting with them easier.

He's part of the water polo and the swim team. However, he does not perform in swim meets, and is merely a club member to access the pool during the hours when the swim team is practicing. Aside from his hydrophilic attitude, there is another decisive reason he enjoys water polo. While his father had occasionally joked that Piet likes the game due to it's heavy physical contact with other boys, it is actually that he enjoys the game despite this. In water polo, one achieves goals and victories by fighting against both the effects of water and the attacks of the other team members. For someone like Piet, who enjoys exercising control, a game where he does so successfully against worse odds is ideal.

Additionally, Piet is member of a gym and a regular visitor. He had taken up this particular hobby some when in sophomore year of high school, and keeps it up to help maintain his physical performance, and his good looks.

Furthermore, Piet also tends to day-dream. Specifically, he dreams about organizing things. Whether it is his room, the data files on his computer, or also work groups and projects, Piet enjoys spending time to think about organizing and administrating this.

This has actually moved him to study public administration. Although his concrete college is yet unclear, Piet hopes to one day become a civil servant.

Advantages: Piet's paranoia, as it may be unfounded in his normal life, is likely proven to be justified in the context of Survival of the Fittest. He is unlikely to die because he trusted someone. To add, Piet is physically active and as such his body performs on a high level. There is a good chance he could out-perform the majority of his co-students in terms of endurance, flexibility and strength.
Disadvantages: Piet's ideas and plans are of the kind that is often set in stone. When trouble occurs, Piet is unable to quickly adjust his planning but grows irritated. As such, he is more prone to make more mistakes when put in a tough spot. Piet's reputation in school is, furthermore, controversial. While he is far from anti-social, there might be too many students who are put off by his open sexuality, or his attitude regarding planning and leadership.
Fiyori Senay
 


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Rattlesnake
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Now you may be wondering, who was wearing the bolo tie? Me or the shark? Answer: YES!
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Hello~

Piet is temporarily denied pending some changes.

First off, entries in the hobbies and interests list past the first should be lowercase.

Quote:
 
The shape of his face can be described as diamond-shaped.
This isn't technically wrong, but bumpy enough with the repetition of "shape" that I'd rather see it smoothed out. Something like "He has green eyes and a diamond-shaped face."

Also, on the subject of his appearance, he has an athletic build, but what sort? Top-heavy, more even, bulky or defined?

Quote:
 
17th of September 1999
Needs a comma after September.

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His parents, Guy and Maribelle Lee, moved to the city in early 1997 from upstate New York after the extended Lick family had a fall-out due to Piet's paternal grandfather Freddy Lick leaving no will, but an estate worth around 12.500.000 Dollar. Guy and Maribelle managed to gain possession of a house and lot in St. Elmo, in which they moved in after leaving New York.
What does "gain possession" mean here? I'm not sure whether it was bought or part of the estate. Also, since that's a pretty valuable estate, I'd like a note about the source of it.

Profiles use American style weights and numbers, so the number there should be written as "$12,500,000."

At the end of the paragraph, "moved in" should be "moved into."

You have just "Maribelle" at the end, where elsewhere it's "Maribelle Lee." That should be made consistent.

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Mirabelle Lee believed that the decision behind her action would confuse and confound Piet due to it's complex character.
It's->its

Quote:
 
There are often exact visions of how different projects – academics, sports, and all else – are to be executed and achieved in his mind.
Instead of en dashes with spaces, there should be em dashes with no spaces.

Quote:
 
In high school, his performances in English and Political Science, as well as Physical Education are almost without peer. Piet achieves regular top scores in these areas without an inappropriate amount of investments in terms of learning. In all other courses, his performance fall to a level between the grades of C and D. There are no particular classes or courses where he is noticeably bad, however.
A few things here. "Almost without peer" implies he's getting As and nobody else is and is also a bit informal. The second sentence is phrased a little awkwardly and can be smoothed out ("without undue effort" or something of the like). In the third sentence, "performance" should be "performances." And in the last sentence, I'd say Ds are noticeably bad—this should probably be rephrased to get the idea across that among his weak subjects, none of them stand out as much worse than the others.

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In particular, Piet's general suspicious on his surrounding make it difficult for him to bond with people.
This is a little awkward. Should be rephrased as suspicious/untrusting nature.

Quote:
 
While his father had occasionally joked that Piet likes the game due to it's heavy physical contact with other boys, it is actually that he enjoys the game despite this. In water polo, one achieves goals and victories by fighting against both the effects of water and the attacks of the other team members. For someone like Piet, who enjoys exercising control, a game where he does so successfully against worse odds is ideal.
The second sentence is pretty informal with its aside to the reader. The violence of the game can be referenced as reasoning, but it should be assumed that the reader knows about it already.

Quote:
 
Furthermore, Piet also tends to day-dream. Specifically, he dreams about organizing things. Whether it is his room, the data files on his computer, or also work groups and projects, Piet enjoys spending time to think about organizing and administrating this.

This has actually moved him to study public administration. Although his concrete college is yet unclear, Piet hopes to one day become a civil servant.
This part feels unfinished, especially with the last thought being made into a paragraph of its own. His controlling nature is well established, but the aloofness and penchant for organization pop up pretty suddenly. Those are definitely traits that would be significant elsewhere in his life.

Overall content-wise, there are a couple other gaps that need filling. There's nothing about his schooling or social life before highschool, and that needs to be addressed. Also, I will accept casual sex as a listed interest, but it does need to be emphasized a bit more to qualify. The hobbies/interests section should act as a summary of the bio in terms of what sorts of things the character spends a significant amount of time thinking about/discussing/planning/engaging in. Right now, it's clear that he's had sexual encounters, but not so much that they take a lot of his attention in an average day or week.

Post once you've addressed everything and I'll give Piet another look. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to PM me.
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The girl who dreams on the back of a giant space turtle.
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This character biography has had no alterations for more than two weeks and has been put in the abandoned characters forum. This profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler upon alterations requested by the staff.
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