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The V1 Read-A-Thon
Topic Started: Sep 28 2017, 07:14 PM (7,239 Views)
Polibyss
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Sacre bleu! It's Clemence Ceillet de Rousseau.

Clemence, for the uninitiated, is a femme fatale ballerina bred from the purest stock of French royalty. Her heart is cold as ice and, of course, she immediately decides that she has to kill all of the dirty plebs on the island so she can go back to being a ballet superstar.

Clemence has twelve threads. That may seem like a lot, but her story is shorter than it appears. Clemence does not actually interact with any characters controlled by other handlers until her eighth thread. Of her first seven threads:
Three are short, mostly useless one-shots
One's just her starting a thread and then leaving one post later,
One is a thread with other people where Clemence enters and leaves without interacting with anyone
Two are one-shots where Clemence slaughters inactives (This is where most of her early-game content is)

So she's not actually that long of a read, even though she starts at day 4 and makes it to 7th place. Writing wise, she's pretty good by V1 standards, but there's still a slew of spelling/grammatical errors and poor attempts at flowery prose. Anyway, I'm just going to go into a summary of Clemence's story because I don't know how else to convey my feelings.

As I said, Clemence spends most of her time just wandering around and killing inactives. Her first kill comes when she strangles a guy to death from behind with a chain. He's powerless to fight back against her super strength, because despite being severely bulimic, Clemence is "all muscle". Later, Clemence seduces another guy and then stabs him to death while they're having sex. When his friend gets stuck in the doorway while trying to escape the building, she kicks the door so hard that it decapitates him.

Eventually she runs into some lesbians and gets into a terrible fight with one of them. Luckily, mute terrorist Elijah Rice shows up and kills the lesbians. Clemence forms an uneasy alliance with Elijah, which leads to some interesting interactions.
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(I should point out that she had a thick French accent before this thread, but the handler must have gotten sick of writing it)

Clemence and Elijah then get into a fight with some kids, which ends when one girl shoots her collar while hugging Clemence's leg, nearly crippling her. Clemence then runs away from Elijah because... I don't know, I'm pretty sure Kaishi just went inactive.

Things get messy from here. Clemence starts randomly hearing an evil voice in her head, and then she stabs a guy, Ryan Torres. In the next thread, the voice goes away but she's suddenly feeling remorse for all of her actions. She teams up with the brother of the guy she killed, Jeremy Torres, to take down Elijah, but literally one post later she realizes Elijah is gone/dead/whatever and tries to kill Jeremy.

After this, her handler goes inactive. According to the wiki, Clemence was actually supposed to be in endgame, but after she went inactive staff swapped her with Cody Jenson. It was all for the best, really. So she's inactive killed by Cody. Her death scene is pretty good. She gets into a fight with Cody after insulting his motorcycle girlfriend, which ends with her bloody death. It's an exciting scene, if a bit dumb at times. A girl with a nearly crippled leg shouldn't be running and kicking people in the chest.

Clemence is by no means a great character, but I actually enjoyed her. There's not much of a story arc or anything to connect to, but she's entertaining in an over-the-top cartoon villain way. She goes downhill near the end after leaving Elijah, but her death scene is good. She's a fun read, and you can get through her pretty quickly.

Someone please roll me another.
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Vince Noir is a character from the hit British comedy programme The Mighty Boosh
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Somehow he ended up in SOTF! Young Vince is a wannabe rock star from "Mighty fossil High". As a kid, Vince fell and hit his head, and as a permanent result of the trauma, he "would never be able to fully grasp the concept of anything new", which makes no sense for a variety of reasons and is only referenced once in game.

In his first thread, Vince wakes up next to Dorian Graywood and Cyndi Whatever. He acts like a really goofy comic relief character: he doesn't even remember he's in SOTF and he keeps making references to his wacky band adventures involving polar bears and shit. He's annoying. Eventually he sort of gets an idea of what's going on and he teams up with Cyndi, but she goes inactive so he shrugs and leaves the thread alone.

After this thread, Vince fully grasps the new concept of SOTF and he starts acting less goofy. He still occasionally acts dumb or thinks about his band, but he mostly becomes a normal guy. A normal guy with poor company anyway. So in his second thread Vince walks in on two obviously psycho chicks, Xian Chun and Angharad Welshman, having a dick measuring contest over who can be the more campy villain. While this is happening, Andrew Munteanu is running around wiping up his piss stains. Angharad proposes that they all team up, and somehow they all agree, so they move to the next thread.

In the next thread, Xian and Angharad start doing their thing again while Vince and Andrew stand around confused. Then, Peri shoots at all of them and kills Andrew. Angharad goes "see you later, suckers!" and teams up with Peri, and then they leave the thread. Vince and Xian are very angry about this and they vow to be best friends forever and get revenge on Angharad.

Time works strangely in this game, because in Vince and Xians' next thread they enter the gazebo to find Angharad again, and she's heavily wounded because she's apparently been in 20 fights since they last saw her. Xian tells Vince to stand watch outside as she takes care of Angharad. Vince doesn't really know what she's planning, but he's getting cold feet about the whole revenge thing so he does as he is told. So Vince waits outside for a bit but he gets nervous and he goes back in to find Xian torturing and molested Angharad. Vince is not very happy about the situation so he grabs Angharad and tries to take her to safety but Xian stabs him to death with a corkscrew. In his last moments, he realizes that he put his trust in the wrong person and mourns his rock star dreams. RIP

Vince starts out as a dumb joke character but he soon falls into the role of being a straight-man supporting character to the two psychopaths that are Angharad and post-Kaishi Xian. He's a pretty decent character in that role, even if it's hard to believe that he doesn't immediately realize how terrible they both are. Unfortunately, his position makes it so that he tends to blend into the background. The problem is exacerbated by V1's lack of post order: in some scenes, he posts less frequently than his more eccentric companions.

In conclusion, Vince is a surprisingly solid supporting character to Xian and Angharad. Unfortunately, Xian and Angharad are terrible. Vince supports them well, but he isn't good enough by himself to be worth reading.

Roll me another, please.
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According to his profile, Shoar Wilson is a spoiled rich kid who was desperate for attention from his parents, so he started posing as a goth/emo kid. He dressed in all black, dyed his hair, painted his nails, got (clip-on) piercings, and even faked depression and cutting. I don't understand how he faked cutting himself, but whatever. None of this shit matters, anyway, because Shoar's handler never posts with him. He goes inactive, so he gets given to V1's favorite inactive killer, Adam Dodd.

What happens in Shoar's brief existence is thus: he's very scared about being in SOTF. He tries to kill himself with his assigned axe but it doesn't work, so he decides to kill someone else. He comes across nerdy little Gilbert Archambault and tries to strangle him to death while crying. Gilbert is saved in the nick of time when Adam Dodd shoots Shoar in the back. That's it.

Read Adam Dodd/10

Another, please.
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Well, I already read this guy when I was reading Vince Noir.

Andrew Mutaeneau is a succesful child actor who has been supporting himself and his single mother since the age of nine. On island, he just acts really scared the while time. He pisses himself when he sees Angharad Davies and Xian Chun threatening each other, and then runs around grabbing tissues to clean up the stains. Still, he enters into an alliance with the two girls and Vince Noir. The group goes to a cave as the announcement reveals that Angharah had killed someone. Andrew decides to stay with Angharad, but three seconds later Peri Barclay shows up and shoots at them. Andrew dies so suddenly that even the other handlers are confused. His death post contradicts the previous post in the thread, but the previous post was full of godmodding so it evens out. That's how it works, right?

Andrew is a very obvious "first character". He just cowers around for a little and then dies. He's okay, but not worth reading at all. He's just a demonstration of a new handler learning how to roleplay and find his voice. Andrew's handler would use the experience to write many more memorable characters.

Another, please.
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