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The V1 Read-A-Thon
Topic Started: Sep 28 2017, 07:14 PM (7,255 Views)
TwelveFourtyFive
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Blastinus: Garrett Langston
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Blastinus
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Before we dive into Garrett, there's the small matter of his backstory. According to his profile, Danya has an in with the US military in the form of his father, and the reason he's on the island was that his dad basically sacrificed him to Danya. I'm going to say, for the sake of preserving whatever sanity the canon might have, that this is largely made up, and that he just invented the story to seem cool.

Anyway, Garrett starts out fine enough, trying to make friends and not acting like too big a threat with his assigned weapon: a crossbow. But wait, a wild Slayer appears! I don't care about the actual name of his character. They all basically act the same. And sure enough, the instant that he spots Garrett, he immediately goes in for the attack, using an unorthodox method I like to call "cheating".
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When Garrett had come out and held him at crossbow point, something snapped in Jacob. Without warning, he charged forward, grabbing the crossbow (while forcing it away, wouldn't do much good to do that only to get shot point-blank), and slashing at the newcomer with his knife.

You saw it here, folks. Without even letting Garrett's handler react, Slayer's character has already defused his weapon and put him on the defensive. It's that kind of combat writing that I really detest, since if you try to play fair (like Garrett does, taking a slash in the arm), the cheater will just press and press until he can declare victory while never feeling the obligation to take a hit himself. Case in point, when Garrett tries to use the crossbow as a club, Slayer's character just effortlessly evades it and keeps stabbing. And even when Garrett lands a hit, he just no-sells it.
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Jacob screamed in pain as the bolt buried itself deep into his left shoulder. Luckily, even though it hurt like hell, there was relatively little blood from the wound, due to the bolt being in there. It was times like this Jacob praised God that he was born right-handed. So instead of lingering on the wound (who anyone who knew anything about medicine could take care of with minor difficulty)

Uh, no Slayer. Arrows are, in fact, extremely painful and have to be removed with care, lest you end up opening a huge gash in your body by, say, yanking it out with your bare hands, which he does. Then he puts a bandage on without washing the wound, stifling the bleeding, or applying any disinfectant. I'm going to assume that this Jacob character dies in horrible agony, because every single conceivable way he could have screwed up an arrow wound happened in that scene.

He doesn't die in agony, does he?

Anyways, we're supposed to be talking about Garrett. Demonstrating the actual negative effects of being injured, he stumbles into a gathering of people and just sort of collapses, depending entirely on their mercy to get him back onto his feet. Fortunately, he finds a caring soul in riseruga's character Edward Rommel. They share some friendly conversation while treating his wounds, and he GETS ATTACKED BY JACOB AGAIN! Because if there's one thing you could depend on with Slayer, it's being unable to actually write anything thoughtful or meaningful. It's just constant shooty shooty action with infinite reloads and rules lawyer-ing. And he won't ever let you have a moment's peace.

Anyways, next scene is a confusing gun battle where Garrett contributes absolutely nothing, so we move right along and discover that Edward took a bullet during the fight. The emotional moment where they realize there's nothing Garrett can do for Edward is genuinely touching and, most importantly, free of stupid interruptions by you-know-who. If it wasn't for Slayer's weird vendetta against this guy, I think that he could have had an interesting character arc, but it takes this long for it really get going because of all the constant need for action scenes.

Of course, he throws away any chance of character development by suddenly becoming confrontational and abrasive towards the next group he finds. Even though they ask a simple question (why is he wearing Edward's jacket), he decides to make a federal case out of it and so a tense standoff occurs between him and Heather Pendergast, only to be broken up by Glenn's brother Fred. Then a bunch of other confusing stuff happens in the thread before Garrett does something again. It's not really my problem, so I skimmed over it. What's important is that Garrett's got it into his head that it's time to take revenge on Jacob, and so he departs in order to pursue this goal.

Is it much of a surprise to say that it doesn't work out? Garrett manages to get another crossbow bolt into Jacob's shoulder, but THIS time he suddenly decides that removing it wouldn't be wise. Guess someone must have informed his handler about how stupid it was the first time. They fight and they fight, and it eventually devolves into bizarrely adroit fisticuffs. Garrett's excuse is that his evil military dad taught him self-defense, but I don't know what Jacob's explanation is. He probably just has superpowers or something. Suddenly they start delivering multiple sentences in the time it takes to throw a single attack. It's very comic book-like. And long story short, he gets a knife thrust in his chest.
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And with that, Garrett, one of the most outspoken and longest lasting people still in the game, finally succumbed to his wounds.

Uh, no, he kinda wasn't. Most of the time, he was being threatened by people and/or dragged around from scene to scene. The only character who even gave Garrett the time of day was Edward, and the rest of the time, he got on people's nerves. As for longest-lasting, I guess that's basically a given. Of all the people who died in the game, you'll always be the longest-lasting when you finally kick the bucket, until someone else dies and takes your title. It's only logical.

I have no idea if I like Garrett or not, since he doesn't succeed at anything. As far as the island was concerned, he existed and didn't do anything particularly offensive, and I suppose his final scene was okay, even if it got kinda ridiculous. I'd rate him generally positive, with the caveat that I'll probably forget all about him in a day or two.

More! More!
V7 Kids
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Blastinus: Gabrielle Minase
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Blastinus
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Gabrielle Minase has an interesting backstory, since he hospitalized a giant using nothing but a baseball bat. This kid's gotta be friggin' ripped. He's socially withdrawn and won't get along well with people, and he's spent his time doing nothing but working out. Naturally, the best way to highlight this amazing strength is to give him an uzi.

Wait a minute, one of Slayer's characters had an uzi. Oh nooooooo!

Anyway, first thread, he goes stomping through the forest and sees an explosion in the distance. End of thread, on to further business. He finds a group near where the explosion occurred, and he opens with only the finest of diplomacy:
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'Mess with me and you get shot, but i'm willing to talk.'

Oddly, despite what you may expect, the group is relaxed and don't consider his gun to be that great a threat, much to Minase's frustration. So he ramps it up, making wild accusations, until one of the kids collapses and he drops his gun to catch her, at which point another kid steals it and turns it on him.

One thing I've begun to discover in pre-V5 games is that if anything you own leaves your hands for a second, someone else will immediately swoop in to grab it. I can recall at least two instances in V3 where someone either dropped their bag or died with it, and another person completely unrelated to the thread zoomed in from offscreen, grabbed the bag, and left before anyone else could react.

But enough of that segue, back to Minase. The Mac-10 somehow finds its way onto the floor next to him again, so he reclaims it and resumes his threatening, which nobody is impressed by still, even when he unloads several rounds into the ceiling. Everyone else is more worried about a horrific incident involving a corkscrew, so Minase tries to take charge there instead. You can tell that his handler is trying very hard to remain relevant in this scene, even when everyone's basically ignoring him. But nobody helps him, and nobody wants to follow him when he leaves. I can't help but feel like the other folks in that thread were really giving him a rough time, since he was trying to direct the scene and nobody else was accepting it. Not really his fault there, is what I'm saying.

Take two then, since he comes across a different group and tries basically the same tack, running into who other than Edward Rommel. It's at this point that whatever sympathy I may have had for Minase evaporates entirely, because of this little bit of self-reflection:
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A german thought Minase, scowling. Clueless bastard, i'll enjoy killing this guy, teach him to come on our trip at all

Then Gabrielle Minase dies of AIDS. I'm not kidding. It's exactly what it says:
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Then Minase died of aids.

Would I make something like that up? No warning, no foreshadowing, no preamble, just one AIDS-tastic post and he's out the door. Fortunately, cooler heads prevail, so he un-dies and re-dies by being shot in the chest instead, but the damage has already been done. After something as weird as that, Gabrielle Minase will forever be known in my head as the kid who took an AIDS bomb to the forehead, which to be fair is probably the most interesting thing that happened with him, since he spent every thread just pointing his gun at people and acting all aggressive and haughty. No fun conversations, no character-building, just gun. And then AIDS.

I'd love another one, please. This has been really fun.
V7 Kids
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Blastinus: August Masbeth
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Ruggahissy
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MY BABY HEATHER

Up top: her profile is kind of whack but it actually doesn't really come into play much in her story.

Spoiler: click to toggle


CONCLUDING THOUGHTS: I would recommend Heather. I wish she got to do more and I'm not going to say she's the best v1 character, but she's solid. Something about her makes me feel a kinship to her. She is neither stupid nor a crazy murderer in the sea of both of those that make up v1. As Zarina said in chat "She's mostly competent and that's rare for v1." She even learns, as evidenced by putting her gun away in a bag rather than on the ground the next time she encounters a group. She's a good character, someone toughened by bad experiences but still willing to open up and make friends and I think she deserved better than what she got.

Please select a new child for me.
things
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Ruggahissy: Morgana "Anya" Vendvmagli
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Anya starts by having a dream about a B-movie where a giant fork kills people and then she’s drowning, but she wakes up and is on STOF. Whoever did her wiki mid-game evaluation didn’t read carefully and said SHE was drowning when her post very clearly states she woke up next to the river and not in it.

She realizes she’s on a death game, pulls out an airline bottle of booze (doesn’t say what kind of liquor it is) downs it and then starts thinking. She has a gun in her bag so that’s good. Nearby screams cause her to look at her map, decide the school is a good option and set off.

Right at the outset I want to mention that the writing here is pretty good and there are a refreshing lack of typos.

Anya arrives at school and it’s been barricaded. She says hello and says she’s not playing, asking to be let in. When the response is slow she becomes frightened, but doesn’t know what else to do.

Sydney Morvran tells her if she tosses her gun inside then they’ll let her in, otherwise they’ll shoot her. Xian and Tayli both say Anya is trustworthy. Tayli asks Sydney not to shoot her friend with her weapon that she’s loaned him. Sydney lets her in and says “Enjoy your stay I guess.”

Anya asks Sydney about being in SOTF before. Tayli suggests locking all the firearms in one cabinet and all the ammo in another so everyone can focus on barricading the school without worry of betrayal. She’ll hold the key to one cabinet and Xian the other.

But then Minase walks in. He’s pretty hostile so things get tense. Also Tayli just spent a long post talking about how people in school like her and Minase is like “I don’t like her.” CAN’T WIN ‘EM ALL. Kaishi declares no more people can come in the thread because it’s full, which might make this the first private thread.

Minase starts accusing Sydney of stuff, he starts having V0 flashbacks and throws a grenade at him (pin is still in). Xian intervenes and gets hit in the back with the grenade, Minase drops his gun to catch her (and is suddenly in love with her), Sydney continues to freak out and crym caught in a feedback loop of V0 memories. Xian freaks out.

Anya
 
She dropped [her bag] onto her lap and searched through it pulling out another bottle of gin, thinking that joining this group might have been a mistake.


Ahahahaha

She finishes the bottle -- for her sake I hope it was another airline bottle -- and thinks that Minase is an idiot. She proposes that since SOTF is being broadcast that the government will come for them as soon as they recognize the location so perhaps if they just wait they might be ok.

Minase thinks Xian and Syndey are crazy and hates Anya for her “diplomacy crap” and takes them all hostage. I’m glad he died of AIDS.

Anya pulls out a THIRD bottle of liquor and drinks it, telling Minase they can listen to him without the threat of death and to at least put the safety on and preferably put the gun down.

Minase HATES her attitude and smarts so he shoots above her head. Anya screams, and then brushes the ceiling bits out of her hair that fell on her. She opens a FOURTH bottle of booze and drinks it all. As she drinks she wonders if there’s an easy way to kill Minase. I have to say I’m on her side.

Tayil has had enough so she goes and falls asleep in a janitor’s closet. When she wakes up she finds a laptop and is excited it could be their ticket out. She runs out, slips, falls on the floor and in falling shoots Sydney in the lung. Wahhh wahhhh. Minase and Anya start trying to help him, Anya gets a FIFTH bottle of gin to disinfect the wound. Did this girl pack nothing but alcohol? Xian runs past Anya and Anya, in surprise, pulls the trigger of her gun but nothing happens because she put the safety on. Xian runs off screaming, Sydney dies, Minase leaves, Anya leaves and Tayil stays there until the area is made a danger zone and she dies.

Anya runs back to the river where Jacob Starr and Uriel are. Jacob is wearing a suit (??). She drops the gun when Jacob approaches her with a knife and he stabs her in the leg. She gets up and he continues trying to stab her. They know each other from school but he’s basically a robot. He stabs her square in the chest and picks up her gun. Well she grabs the gun while he's holding it and pulls the trigger but it shoots her and she dies.

Conclusion: She’s ok. I guess I’d recommend her. I was expecting more sass from Inky’s recommendation of her. She’s a little funny, but not remarkably so. She’s generally well written and has some attitude, but not a must for v1 reading. Trivia says she’s the first person ever to be posted with on SOTF so I guess you can read her for the novelty of that combined with her being decent overall.

Another child please
things
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Kermit
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henlo i wod like a nother
"Kermit you are the guy in the horror movie that finds a book bound in human skin and decides to read out loud what is inside for fun" - some mean lady named Ruggahissy

i make art i think????


Sadly kermit looked at a mariavel. It was so sad... such a sad mariavel... like him... he only waned a normal life... was that too much to ask? was it?
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TwelveFourtyFive
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Rugga: Miranda Grey
Kermit: Jake Driggers
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Miranda is a murder bush kill and this is the fourth time I've had to read this murder bush kill. Stop giving me this kill.

So Miranda's profile starts with a news article about a time when she was kidnapped by a 30-year-old shop clerk when she was 13. The shop clerk fell in love with her and decided to kidnap her and keep her in the cellar of his cabin until she loved him. She escaped and then I think he was arrested. Oh and she kept a diary while she was in captivity which was then published after she escaped. Most of her profile is dedicated to this event.

Then on the island she wakes up and immediately runs into her ex-boyfriend Eddie Serjeantson. He was her boyfriend before she got kidnapped. Anywho, they have some pretty nice back and forth sassing of each other. She tells him she can protect her with her 104 pounds of all fighting muscle. It's a joke, but they're cute and she's the better of the two.

The two walk up on the hospital and the positioning of everyone is out of whack as fuck. I'm assuming Miranda went into the hospital while Eddie went to the group loitering outside. The group talks of escape, Eddie kicks a rock into a bush. But that bush has crazy moron Daphne in it. For those not in the know, Daphne murdered a girl at school and her own parents shortly before arriving on the island. Daphne sees the rock roll into her bush, takes this as an attack, pops out of her bush and stabs Eddie to death. Miranda runs out of the hospital in hysterics and Daphne is like "ANOTHER ENEMY RUSHING AT ME" and stabs her from her bush as well.

:-/

Conclusion: I don't like how focused she is on her weird Kiss The Girls situation prior to the game, but her first thread shows she's got a fun personality. Then she's killed by the murder bush. I can't recommend. Please stop making me read the murder bush. Another please.
things
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TwelveFourtyFive
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Rugga: Elsie Darroch
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Kermit
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Quote:
 
Extra Curricular Activity: Comic Book Club, Video Game Club, Anime Club, Track Team.



look at this fukin nerd lol Kermit throws things at jake


Well, on the bright side, his hobbies are like, normal.

Bio:

Jake is a stinky neeeeeeeeeerd! also “>>;“. I’m unsure what it means, but it’s it’s in his profile.

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“Particularly his sister, Anna, who would often get in his way while playing video games. He realized, of course, that she was just an infant but that didn't mean she couldn't show his games the respect they deserved!”


Kermit beats jake up


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“His brother, who was only older than him by a year, was much the same but instead of being responsible, he often found himself in trouble. Once, he had even nearly killed another boy. Boy, had that gotten his parents angry.”


??????????????????what?????????????????????

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“His parents had decided that it was probably wise if Jake and his older brother didn't go to the same school because they had never gotten along overly well. Had he the chance, John would beat Jake up every chance he got.”


I’m John.

TLDR;

Posted Image





ISLAND:

Jake’s only thread is “?????????????????” which does not bode well.

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“(Shinya continued from: Truth be Told, the Child was Borne))
((Eh-Sun continued from ?? ?? ??? ??))
(and Jake is just starting because Skythe gave me premission to kill him XD)”


well rip jake

The post starts off with Shinya killing himself in a confusing and overly-elaborate way. Not sure why it wasn’t just a oneshot, but ok.

Jake crawls over to Shinya’s corpse, steals all of his shit, and says “Hell yes now the jocks cant kill me” and then a gunshot goes boom and Jake dies. THE END!

EDIT: OH MAN HOW COULD I FORGET KOUJI!

he's there for a single post after everyone dies.

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Kouji wonder towards the Bamboo Coppice and found Eh-Sun, "YOU!" Kouji shouted aloud. "Hey you I want my blade back!"


oh klouji i love you so



Conclusion: the most I can say about Jake is that he existed.

Fuck it, another one, please.
Edited by Kermit, Oct 8 2017, 02:25 PM.
"Kermit you are the guy in the horror movie that finds a book bound in human skin and decides to read out loud what is inside for fun" - some mean lady named Ruggahissy

i make art i think????


Sadly kermit looked at a mariavel. It was so sad... such a sad mariavel... like him... he only waned a normal life... was that too much to ask? was it?
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TwelveFourtyFive
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Kermit: Art Villamor
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Kermit
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Hmmm ok this'll be entirely out of memory 'cus I read Art like last week for my spriteathon.

In his profile, Art's kinda set up as this master-manipulator type dude, but Dodd was like "well I don't know what to do with him" on-island, so he gets foddered to Cillian.

His profile isn't the worst, he seems relatively normal (sans mental-disorder), and yeah.


ISLAND:

Hi Cillian.

So Art finds Cillian crying or whatever and is like "strangle" and Cillian is like "NO BAD DOCTOR MEN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" and Art is like "shh no no its ok dont struggle" and Cillian somehow slides his hand into Art's gut (WWWWHAAAAAAAAT!?) and Devi's here and she's like "hmhmhmhmhm i hope theres blood" and then Cillian jumps on art so many times that he has a hole straight through him. rip art.

Conclusion: Just read Cillian, I guess.

not asking for another right now, you know the drill.
Edited by Kermit, Oct 8 2017, 03:11 PM.
"Kermit you are the guy in the horror movie that finds a book bound in human skin and decides to read out loud what is inside for fun" - some mean lady named Ruggahissy

i make art i think????


Sadly kermit looked at a mariavel. It was so sad... such a sad mariavel... like him... he only waned a normal life... was that too much to ask? was it?
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