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The V2 Read-o-thon; Olden days
Topic Started: Aug 24 2017, 06:45 PM (8,984 Views)
Fenris
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I want in. Let's see how this goes :')
"Well, Fenris, the King of Gossip. We meet again."
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(this is gonna be long as hell because Sera was in 6 threads not counting pregame, most of which are pretty long, and i'm a long-winded person so strap in)

So considering everyone else's v2... uh, let's say Experiences, I think I got pretty lucky. Sera isn't a spectacular character by any means, but she's written solidly enough. Her profile made me a little iffy but not in a GIANT RED FLAG way, just in a "do we have to talk so much about the cup sizes and attractiveness of 16-year-olds" way, and otherwise it was fine. Her only pregame threads are both oneshots that are primarily about Tanesha Lexx and have Sera break into her locker, steal her journal, find out that she spread a rumor about another girl, confront Tanesha about it, and imply she's going to ruin her with the information. All of which I'm fine with, but it really is written in service to Tanesha's character, not Sera's, so on we go.

Sera's first thread is another oneshot, this one with her finding the body of a character (Wanda Lovett) whose only mention in the whole game is as an already-dead girl with a suicide note. The writing is good but it's weird how her only reaction to seeing a corpse is "oh my classmates Are here". Also the post refers to Sera as "the blonde girl" and "the blonde-headed girl" way too often but that seems like a nitpick by v2 standards. The next thread has other people in it finally. She laughs hysterically at Adam Amanto (there are so many adams in sotf) pointing a gun at her, Brandon Cuthbert appears literally out of nowhere and is awful (i do not envy whoever has to read this kid), and Sera genuinely seems conflicted on how she's supposed to feel about him because he's killed people but also he's a tiny child? Then Adam and Brandon both go inactive and Megami has Brandon kill Adam and Sera kill Brandon in self defense. So that happened.

Next thread. Sera runs into Jana Brown, who 1. just woke up somehow (it's apparently day 4 how the actual hell) and 2. is a sweetheart who I love immediately. Cyco is a really good writer and does a really good job of making me like Jana immediately even though I'm mostly skimming her parts to get to Sera. Meanwhile Sera immediately gets to wasting the goodwill I've built up toward her character by gleefully lying to and manipulating Jana, and honestly it's again a testament to how much I instantly liked Jana that this is bothering me so much. It's not super out of place for Sera either, from what I've seen of her this doesn't seem OOC or anything, though it's a bit of a rapid shift from "terror" to "master manipulator". She has thoughts at this point about how killing her best friends wouldn't really be THAT hard, though, which makes me nervous.

Thread #4 is long as hell so I'm just gonna be as short as possible about it. There are a lot of people in this thread, one of whom wanders in and out in two very short posts, one of whom appears to be a samurai, and one of whom is Kevin Kapustiak, who seems okay enough. Sera goes very quickly from "this boy is my new meatshield" to "spilling my deepest darkest thoughts" which is... weird. Like one post she's apparently super excited by the possibility of a fight between Kevin and Samurai Boy and the next post she's talking about how fake her friendships were. I dunno, it's just a weird tone shift. Then Kevin... switches handlers????? And suddenly his handler is another character??? I have no idea what's going on in this thread anymore. Sera basically eggs Kevin and the new guy on into a fight (offering herself as a prize which...... ew) and then there's another guy (Also controlled by the guy controlling the guy who's fighting Kevin- Matt- and who Used to be controlling Kevin, and this is awful) who shoots Kevin and he's dead now and what the fuck. And then Matt and the Other Other Guy (Rob) are just like hey girls sorry about your friend lets team up now and Sera's cool with it?? Sure why not. This topic is a clusterfuck of the highest order and I'm tired.

New thread. Sera keeps pingponging between "normal scared girl who knows she's going to die" and "MASTER MANIPULATOR", sometimes in the same post. Jana is still good. Matt kills an innocent girl and no one really cares besides Jana, and Sera and Matt ditch her because Sera's morality is nonexistent in this thread I guess. Then Sera and Matt make out, very much out of nowhere, and it is at this point that I notice that there's a content warning on this topic. Goddammit. They do the Entire do and then Sera kills him. Tragically beautiful. It's... not that bad as far as Sex Murders go?? I don't know how you judge Sex Murders.

LAST THREAD I'M ALMOST DONE THANK U JESUS IN HEAVEN. And it's a oneshot. Where Sera runs into Gail Smith who moralizes at her and then they shoot each other and they both die. It's a long post that somehow still feels rushed.

okay SO this post is really long but final thoughts/TL;DR: Sera's pretty good by v2 standards. The biggest problem I had with her was inconsistency- sometimes she was scared, sometimes fearless, sometimes genuine, sometimes manipulative. She'd have a Revelation in one post and be inspired to be less shitty and then be shitty again in the next post. None of her traits are unrealistic, it's just weird that she bounces between them so much. From a technical standpoint Megami's writing is great, no complaints there. Overall I wouldn't necessarily recommend Sera, most of the characters around her (besides Jana, who is a blessing) are pretty uninteresting and she doesn't run into any of her friends or anything so there just isn't much emotional payoff. Plus her death is just... unsatisfying. With that said, she's by no means a bad character.

Give me another.
"Well, Fenris, the King of Gossip. We meet again."
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Fenris
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okay so one post wonder or not I'm gonna do an actual writeup here

brittany's profile isn't actually too bad. it has her cup size which I hate and it has her losing her virginity at 13 and becoming promiscuous afterward which makes me itchy but otherwise she isn't a premade player or anything, just a snobby rich girl. in her first and only post she basically thinks "do they even Know who i Am" re: the terrorists, yells a lot, and literally says the line "Are there any of you rats out there that can help me?" which is a great way to make friends! then the Gossip King kills her, and i won't even get into what happens to her corpse after that (sam sorenson happens).

final thoughts: a character who almost sort of kind of i guess had some potential, which was completely wasted. no points.
Edited by Fenris, Aug 27 2017, 04:08 PM.
"Well, Fenris, the King of Gossip. We meet again."
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Seven threads. (breathes deeply) Death comes to me. Anyway Gail Smith. Her profile doesn't throw up any red flags, she's a repressed sheltered girl with some health problems. Also I already know how she dies because she and Sera kill each other. She doesn't have any pregame either, so let's just get into it.

Thread #1 starts with Gail Smith and one of her handler's other characters, Jackie Kovacs, waking up in the same place at the same time and talking to each other. Why Do People Do This. It's so clunky. The writing isn't bad, especially by v2 standards, but it could use some proofreading. At least at this point her and Jackie are basically joined at the hip so I kind of have to review him along with her, and he's definitely the more talkative of the two at this point. He's the one making plans with the other characters showing up, Gail mostly just stays back and thinks. She definitely has a personality, though, and her thoughts and feelings come through pretty well in the writing. She's nervous, she reads people well, and she refuses to take a weapon because she knows she can't use it. Honestly, that's enough for me to like her. She feels like a decent person who doesn't want to imagine having to fight or kill anyone.

Next thread- The Gail/Jackie Wonder Team is still with Ricky Callahan and John Matthews. Gail's thoughts are a little repetitive on the "I won't play this game" angle but it's fine. Jackie comes to the conclusion that he'll do anything to protect the group, including fight, and Gail is kinda like "I'll do anything to help us too, except, uh, fight" and it's kind of adorable actually. Nothing else really happens here, it's just talking, but it adds to Gail's characterization a bit. Next topic is the one where Jackie dies apparently so so much for the Wonder Team I guess. Nealosi is doing a better job of separating Gail and Jackie here. Gail runs off a few posts before Jackie dies and comes back in time for him to say his last words and for her to cry about it, and it's actually done pretty okay, and I'm actually a little sad. I could do without phrasing like "wiping crystal tears from her pale cheeks" though.

I don't really have a lot to say about what Gail does in the next two threads, since she basically just follows Ricky and Whitney Acosta around. The one negative I'd say for Gail is that she has very little agency in her story. The other negative is her character is pretty flat. She's a good girl, she doesn't want to hurt anyone, etc. She actually makes a good counterpoint for the more active (and more violent) characters around her, and it's hard not to like her even though she's not particularly three-dimensional.

Then Mariavel appears and takes over the thread Gail's in bc she's Mariavel and why, Gail's handler takes her into another thread to do a killscene but apparently she's too overdue for death and Megami takes over, and the death I talked about in Sera's writeup happens. And it's way worse having read Gail's story; Megami takes a character who's been nothing but sweet and trusting and kind the whole game and has her lecture Sera about sin and how they all deserve to die and blah blah blah it's sooo far from Gail's character and I hate it.

final thoughts/tl;dr: Gail is a surprisingly good character- not a particularly well-rounded one, mind you, but a consistent and likable one. I think I could recommend her, outside of her super disappointing death. Plus you get to read all of Jackie Kovacs along with her, and he's good too. (also 7 threads was a lie, one of them is a one-post setup for a death that doesn't happen and another is the aforementioned oneshot Sera/Gail death scene that you should probably skip anyway)

(slams dead kid on the floor) ANOTHER
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v7 kids

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Fenris
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kids who die quickly are my favorite kind of kid please don't quote this out of context

Okay so Nessy. Her profile doesn't have Giant Red Flags of the "has killed before" variety but it does have lines like "Basically, if you were to look up 'Loner' in the dictionary, you'd see her picture. (trust me, it wouldn't be pretty either.)" which doesn't set me up with high expectations. No pregame, so straight into her first thread, which is a oneshot named... Nessy Guthrie. Okay. And it's not good either; the writing is really in need of proofreading and also Nessy has a voice in her head telling her that she's worthless and that it "can help" which: please don't. At least she has some personality, even if that personality is basically feeling sorry for herself.

Second thread: (skips past Paris Persphone's posts at Top Speed) Nessy doesn't have a voice in her head now thank god. She finds a house, which reminds her of home, which makes her think about her mother, in a way that's kind of manipulative-feeling and ineffective. WAIT I LIED THERE'S A VOICE IN HER HEAD AGAIN. The voice is telling her that she's fat. Thanks, voice. Paris kills someone, I don't read it because I don't care, Nessy hears but doesn't actually see anything and the voice in her head continues to tell her she sucks until the fighting stops and she sneaks out. Basically all I've gotten from her personality is that she hates herself and has a voice in her head that tells her so constantly.

Third/last thread: Now the voice in her head is in red type and I'm already dreading reading any of this. Also the voice is named Vanessa apparently, which is Nessy's real name, which means something probably. I don't know I really hate this cliche a Lot. I don't mind when it's just someone having an internal mono/dialogue but when the separate voice has a name and it's own personality whether or not it's Intended to be schizophrenia it just feels like a half-assed attempt at schizophrenia. ANYWAY wait shit not anyway """Vanessa""" is taking over Nessy. She's saying stuff in red now. I hate this so much. She yells about how religion is bullshit until a religious kid shoots her and apparently """Vanessa""" dies and Nessy feels "whole" and are you Kiriyama now or nevermind whatever she has dying thoughts about being set free and how she feels beautiful now and then she's dead.

final thoughts/tl;dr: Nessy's far from the worst thing in v2 but there's nothing here worth reading especially if you're like me and you can't stand the evil-voice-in-my-head cliche.

I know I'm tempting fate but: one more.
"Well, Fenris, the King of Gossip. We meet again."
v7 kids

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Fenris
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god this is one of the victims of the mitsuko massacre of 2006-2007 isn't she. RIP you beautiful bastards

Okay so Zilya. Her profile feels more like a later-version profile in terms of length and depth of content, if not in tone. She's an exchange student who moved from Russia to England and attends school in Canada and then takes part in a program for Canadian students to go to school in the US which would bother me a lot more if this wasn't v2. Fight the real enemy. She's smart but kind of a loner and has issues with her temper. Duly noted. No pregame again.

First thread: Huy is here can I just read him instead no okay. Anyway Zilya shows up at the end of the thread for one very short post and then leaves again. That very short post isn't horrible and doesn't feature Zilya flying off the handle or anything but it doesn't exactly showcase her personality either. Her second thread again she turns up toward the end for only two posts, and honestly versus what I was expecting she isn't that bad? Her posts are short and don't show a huge amount of personality, but at least she's acting rationally despite clearly being irritable. She decides not to follow any of the people she ran into for fear it would make her look weak, which... isn't rational, but it's not totally unreasonable either?

Thread #3 is one I already read, since it's part of the Sera Wingfield Saga, and I literally don't remember Zilya being in it, probably because she pops in for one post and pops out in the next, again. Thread #4 she suddenly runs into a very fresh corpse and her crying killer, who she feels bad for and also she says a prayer? Which feels a bit out of place since being religious isn't really a Thing with her. Then the guy leaves and idk I'm trying to find good things to say here but most of Zilya's posts are purely functional so there's nothing to really say at all.

Last thread. What the fuck. I'm not gonna bother saying anything just like. What the fuck.

final thoughts/tl;dr: not nearly as bad as I was expecting but still pretty bad? Like for a couple of posts back up in the second thread I thought she was looking okay but her posts just got less personal and more utilitarian and she just never makes any friends or relates to anyone in any way and then gets basically atomized. So like not the worst thing ever but definitely nothing here to recommend.

I probably won't get around to it Tonight but gimme another anyway.
"Well, Fenris, the King of Gossip. We meet again."
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Fenris
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okay i SAID i wouldn't do another tonight but this is an easy one

So according to his profile Anthony Ainsworth loves Jesus and is also the biggest bigot ever and is also an Aryan wet dream. Lovely. No pregame, so to the first thread, where he immediately decides his being here is a mistake and that he's going to find Danya and tell him that he's made a mistake and then it'll be fine. Also he ends his first post with "forgive me, Father, for I will sin" which is the second funniest thing I've read so far. He runs into Stacy Holorson and calls her a slut and a whore in his internal monologue three times in the same post and basically thinks about how worthless she is and how great he is and it's all really a lot. Like he's an obvious villain drawn up from the beginning for people to hate him and he kind of fails at that by being way too obvious about it. There isn't a single thought in his head that isn't Obviously Evil. Also after being polite to her for the first few posts he suddenly calls Stacy a filthy heathen whore with hands of death. Sure why not.

Second/last thread. Now Anthony decides he's been put on SotF to show the home audience the Power of Jesus. There's an announcement and he starts praying for the dead despite in the last thread having clearly shown contempt for literally everyone else on the island. He runs into someone else and is being super nice to him and it's weird? I guess we're suppose to think that since Anthony had a Jesus Epiphany he's a nice guy now, or maybe only women are filthy heathen whores, idk. Also the words "caucasionally challenged" happen which take the 2nd place spot back for funniest thing I've read in v2. Anyway some other guy is here now and Anthony thinks he's Satan and does an exorcism or something? And then one of Mitsuko's girls comes in and unceremoniously smashes his head in.

final thoughts/tl;dr: literally nothing here worth reading. except the words "caucasionally challenged", which you just read, so I saved you some time.

throw me another corpse tomorrow/whenever you have time I have nothing better to do apparently
"Well, Fenris, the King of Gossip. We meet again."
v7 kids

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Okay so this kid has two entire threads and the second one has a content warning and involves Walter Smith and Mariavel Variavel. I am very afraid. And holy shit his profile is bad. Lemme just quote it:

"He rarely smiles. When he does, he never does with his mouth open. Due to his background, his teeth are ridicolously yellow, his breath horrible (often due to his occasional consumption of alcohol), and his teeth crooked. Don't ask about the rest of his personal hygiene." (he's 14 btw)

"He can be nice or mean depending on his demanor. His is also known for his scathing and offensive jokes, which he often makes on everyone, including his friends, though he tries to make it clear that he's joking with his friends, though some find it nearly abusive. He despises most teenagers, beleiving himself to be above them."

"He was very precocious as a young man, reading All Quiet on the Western Front at age four, Voltaire at age five, the Communist Manifesto at age six, Mein Kampf at age seven, and etc. Mostly because he loves big words."

"Ironically, his family is currenltly successful. His father is in charge of the "family" business, a very prosperous corporation. His older brother is poised to inherit the business, leaving Li-Jen completely out of it. That business of course, is a very large porn company based in China. (That also translates foreign porn [including Japanese Hentai], and distributes it in China, as well as manufacturing it's own.]"

i could just quote the whole profile but honestly i've been punished enough having to read this once. anyway no pregame and i don't care enough to be remotely grammatical right now

thread 1 starts w/ mariavel and she's being herself. his first post is six very short sentences and one spoken line none of which tells me anything whatsoever about him. mariavel is herself @ him and he says "lovely day isn't it" sarcastically and shes like yeah a lovely day for MURDER haha lets be friends and hes like sure! then he goes inactive. which is a blessing because it means i dont have to read more mariavel. second/last thread he's taken over by TBH who has him try to kill walter for no reason whatsoever and then walter stabs him a lot and i don't care

final thoughts: why did i read this

also final thoughts: give me another
"Well, Fenris, the King of Gossip. We meet again."
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Fenris
Aug 25 2017, 08:44 PM
Brandon Cuthbert appears literally out of nowhere and is awful (i do not envy whoever has to read this kid)
hahahahahaha!!! hahaha!!!!!! ha. ha. :(

Brandon Cuthbert is 12 years old, has an IQ of 206, and the entire biography section of his profile is written in the first person. Also he apparently kills and dissects animals for funsies "research". literally everything about his profile is wrong and i could write paragraphs about it but i don't want to go braindead the short version is he's a murder child who hasnt actually killed anyone yet but you can Tell. you can just Tell. you can just

his first thread starts with a songpost and i hate everything. it's like 7 years long but it's not brandon's post so i am Not Reading It. actually brandon doesn't show up until the middle of the second page and his first post is also 7 years long but i have to read it this wrong motherFucker okay it starts with a really long dissertation on the milgrim experiment and him- i think he's writing a book or something. sure why not. he's writing about the milgrim experiment and how SOTF is like that except bad. then he writes paragraphs on the suitability of the other people in the topic as allies. and then he goes to talk to them and he bounces immediately from "detached observer" to "scared child" which makes more sense but like it's bad. it's bad. in his next post theres another three paragraphs about group dynamics that - apparently he's thinking and not writing?? in the last one he thought/wrote something about his Account being Published but in this one it says he's mumbling to himself. anyway he basically tells the group that they're useless to him even though he's a 12 Year Old Boy Without A Weapon and fucks off.

thread 2 is a oneshot where slacker throws two of his other kids in a gremlin meat grinder in what is the most confusing post ive ever read in my life. apparently the whole post is written as one of Brandon's diary entires (or whatever he calls them), including an interview, and then he writes down a play-by-play of how he kills Jonathan Michaels with his CONVENIENTLY HIDDEN BOX CUTTER and then dodges when another kid turns up and shoots at him (What) and then he hits the new guy over the head with his xbox controller (truly an ideal weapon) and then literally fucking dissects him w/ the box cutter and????????????????????????? then he drops his box cutter and takes the shotgun he was shot at with (which i think was jonathan michaels' first? how did chris cohen get it before brandon does????? i understand nothing) and LEAVES

thread 3 i could go into More but it's just all the same shit and i've already read the thread he goes inactive and he kills adam amato sera kills him the end.

final thoughts there's no joy left in my heart

give me another
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v7 kids

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Okay I'm gonna write like a human person because Lee-Ann doesn't seem awful from the outset and because she has 8 whole threads so she might be a real character or something. The tone of her appearance is suuuuper flowery and the rest of the bio is kinda off tone-wise but honestly considering what I've been reading recently it's a goddamn masterpiece. Lee-Ann sounds like a regular kid. She's very emotional and tends to eat her feelings, resulting in her being overweight, she's clumsy and intelligent and doesn't have many friends because she's thought of as a nerd. That sounds like a human person. I am pleased.

Lee-Ann is in four pregame threads so I'm not going to go super in depth with all of them because my posts are long enough as is. Her very first post is in part dedicated toward quiet jealousy toward Marimar Perez (let us not talk about her) which is a little :| but generally the writing is okay. It gets a little confusing because her handler (Aphrodite) also seems to be half-handling Lee-Ann's friend Laura, I guess when Shula isn't around to post?? Idk it gets confusing. Anyway Lee-Ann kind of has a nervous breakdown in the bathroom over Marimar having possibly seen Lee-Ann's blind eye and then suddenly she's kissing some boy named Jan which is REALLY confusing. Like her writing is fine but I have no idea what's going on here. In her next pregame topic she goes over to Marimar's house and almost dies.

Quote:
 
'This is so embarrassing.' the girl thought before pressing the small white button designated for the loud ringing it would produce, alerting the occupants of the home of an outside visitor. In normal language, and not the language of Lee-Ann and her intellectual friends, it was a simple doorbell.

just say doorbell what the hell

Anyway she almost gets hit by a car, wanders for ages looking for Marimar's house, finds a lost kitten, and spits on her friends after said friend pours boiling water on herself (saliva is healing on burns apparently? The More You Know). Her last pregame thread is basically just her getting made fun of for her weight and then sitting with Marimar. This might just be a personal taste thing but I find a lot of Lee-Ann's posts to be really melodramatic by pregame standards? Again, maybe it's just me. She's definitely competently written, albeit with some issues that seem kinda endemic to the early versions (people being referred to as "the blonde" "the brunette" "the femme" or eyes being called Orbs all that shit that I hate).

Lee-Ann's first post starts with two paragraphs of red text that are about the game in general and I don't know why they're there. Apparently she snuck the kitten she found in pre-game in her bag. I am going to be busy feeling bad for the kitty for the rest of this writeup. Anyway this is a very long oneshot and it does a good job of making me like Lee-Ann. She reacts to the situation like a human and not a sex robot or murder gremlin. She cries, she prays, she throws up. Relatable human things. She changes clothes (after getting puke on them, because of that and also because they aren't very practical) and leaves her old clothes behind and takes a minute to realize that the memories she has attached to those clothes will be lost forever. That's weirdly powerful to me.

Also she still has a kitten (his name is George and I love him), which at this point makes her the most important character in v2.

Now we're in thread 2 and I was looking forward to how this would go but now Sam Sorenson is here and I'm having regrets. Anyway she feeds George (awh) and thinks about finding Marimar (you do not want to find marimar sweetheart trust me) and READS A BOOK, which for some reason just feels super relatable. Like if I was on murder child island I'd be like "yeah well if I'm gonna die I wanna finish this book first give me like an hour."

I don't particularly want to talk about what happens next because I don't want to acknowledge Sam any more than I half to but honestly I'd give Lee-Ann full leeway to straight murder his ass right here. If anything it'd make her More likable. Unfortunately she's like a nice person or something and she believes Sam's obvious lies and gives him clothes and I don't want to be reading Sam Sorenson, guys. I don't want to. STOP BEING NICE TO HIM LEE-ANN I WANT TO LIKE YOU

Lee-Ann's third thread starts with a really long song post which is basically just reminiscing and walking. It's all very sweet and well-written despite being a song post but I'm so distracted by Sam Sorenson still existing. Also Lee-Ann's handler takes over Sam for a post and he's still awful but like awful in a better written way. And then Lee-Ann goes inactive I assume because she next pops up in a oneshot thread where her death is handled by Mitsuko. Joy. At least she isn't thrown to Mariavel or something; Sam tries to choke her and she pops her own collar instead. The end.

final thoughts/tl;dr: WE NEVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE KITTEN. :( also Lee-Ann is a well-written and pretty believable character, not great by modern standards but definitely by v2 standards, but I still can't recommend her because she spends practically her entire game in the company of one of the worst, if not The worst, pieces of shit that v2 has to offer. Maybe read her opening oneshot, it's really good, but after that it's just a lot of ew. I'm not surprised, just disappointed.

give me another pls
"Well, Fenris, the King of Gossip. We meet again."
v7 kids

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yknow sometimes I want to be optimistic but Seth Malvice's advantage section is "Seth is unfeeling, unremorseful and uncaring, and so the lives of the others on the island with him mean very little to him." which is one step above "she's killed before" and, relatedly, he's killed by Mariavariavemel, which is basically never good

anyway so this guy. i already don't like him. his description is okay (it's super weird tone-wise but at least it boils down to Seth Is Ordinary Looking which okay fine). his bio starts off okay, and then suddenly turns into "toward the end of middle school he suddenly stopped caring about everything and he still doesn't care about anything and he's probably down w/ murder". i just scrolled down to the bottom of his profile and i'm astonished that he doesn't have any kills because that's obviously what the profile is setting up?? either that or he's so apathetic he just lets someone kill him early except no he's in six goddamn threads what the fuck

he has one pregame thread in which he doesn't care about anything and his first post has the line "Of course, Seth could do anything he wanted, his talent for everything he attempted was remarkable." so that's good, he's an apathetic wunderkind, i'm sure he's super interesting. basically the thread is him being bullied, except he doesn't care, so there are no stakes and i don't care either

island. the extent of Seth's thoughts on being in SotF are basically "might as well just sit here I guess". he hears a girl yelling in panic and immediately decides to throw a dart at her face, which she dodges before running away from him, which seems like the right move if his first thought is throwing darts at people?? another girl turns up, they talk, she tries to empathize, Seth cannot Do Empathy because he Doesn't Care, she rightfully gets annoyed and leaves, Seth's handler (Jotun) inexplicably brings in another one of his characters for one post so him and Seth can attack each other and leave. this is SO BORING. characters with no motivations and who don't care about anything are boring!!! i am bored!!! please do something interesting that isn't murderfucking or rape or whatever other godforsaken things are happening in v2 you know what i take it back this isn't so bad at least sam sorenson isn't here

next thread. Seth screams for the sake of it. he hears people coming and makes more noises to scare them off and Prepares To Fight (meowth that's right). this time he doesn't decide to immediately throw a dart at the guy and they have a conversation that basically goes "are you okay" "yes" "okay because i heard screaming and i was worried" "i'm fine" "... okay i'm gonna go now" "okay" and then they both leave. riveting stuff here people

seth just passes through his next thread with one post (which is otherwise a oneshot so i have no idea why Jotun had him come here at all) to investigate a chemical plant fucking exploding (whoever's reading garry dodd please explain to me what happened here) and deciding to go after the kid who blew it up because he's a Danger to seth's very well-thought-out plan to sit and do nothing for the rest of the game. he actually does follow him to their next thread where garry dodd is angsting over adam dodd some more and seth appears out of nowhere to make some pointless remarks at him. then the area they're in becomes a danger zone and they leave. thank god and also jesus that this is Almost Over

final thread: seth becomes another victim of the mitsuko massacre of 2006-2007 and as written by her he suddenly feels fear and is "psyching himself up" for murder. i still don't care, walter smith attacks him, then mariavel kills him basically by accident while trying to kill walter. i still don't care.

final thoughts/tl;dr: i've read Way Worse but my level of apathy here may actually exceed seth's like there isn't even a fraction of a second where i feel anything for seth whatsoever. most of the "not great but not horrible" kids i've read so far at least have moments of humanity? but seth's character is built from the start to be Unfeeling Prodigy Boy. which sucks. he's not brandon cuthbert or anything but still don't read him

throw me another
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I was happy for a minute when I saw Matthew but then I remembered the good Matthew was already taken rip me anyway this kid. Matthew Lafferty's profile is short and needs proofreading and is tonally super off but honestly it's not bad. He sounds like an athletic, temperamental, spoiled, fairly normal kid. and he Doesn't get killed via Mitsuko Massacre so maybe he doesn't go inactive???? I just checked his killer and it's Andi Ayala who Polybius just read and apparently Matt was sacrificed to one of his handlers other characters which isn't actually much better than inactivity deaths imo. whatever let's do this

Matt's first thread (no pregame) starts with.. a double post sure okay. we learn that he's had suicidal impulses which doesn't come up in his profile anywhere you'd think that was important. Alice Nichols shows up, they both freak out for a second and then talk to each other and laugh and it's kind of cute. Then they both fuck off to different threads w/ zero resolution. I assume they were in a danger zone or in danger of inactivity or Something idk i'm kind of disappointed there was a possibility of something good here

second thread god fucking dammit this is the thread where the boxing champion of the world shoves a gun down chad's throat again isn't it. anyway I get to skip all of that because Matt only runs through the thread for one post. basically all he does is decide to go to the hotel because there are beds there, which would probably be my state of mind at this point too, so I won't complain. his last thread is 6 goddamn pages but for most of them Matt isn't there so I'm skipping through. anyway he turns up at the end of page 4/6, i thought he was going to the hotel this is the hospital? whatever it's fine. also his handler's other character refers to him as "amazingly handsome" in his thoughts. Matt wanders into the hospital and displays what are at this point really OOC-seeming fits of paranoia and rage to basically provoke Andi Ayala into shooting him. His death is described in 6 really short and mostly mechanical sentences, and then he dies.

final thoughts/tl;dr: nothing much here. Matt's not a bad character and his writing isn't bad either, but he just doesn't really do anything and turns into fodder for one of his handler's other characters. I feel like if he'd actually stuck around w/ Alice Nichols there might have been something to recommend but he doesn't and there isn't. (wait alice dies in her next thread anyway so there probably wasn't much there either)

gimme another please!
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I GOT THE EXPLODING GIRL

Caitlin Evans has a really long profile which seems irrelevant since i know she explodes in her first thread but i'm gonna read it anyway. her profile isn't actually bad at all, she's basically a smart hippie kid who's a social outcast due to her low economic status and her lack of interest in Conformity. it's kind of heavy handed but it works fine.

now let's watch her explode

she only has one thread, in which she explodes. clarification: she gets one post, and then her second post is basically just her exploding. the one post is very long and kind of confusing but basically she finds a corpse and pokes it with a stick. she's apparently already desensitized to SotF despite this being her first post. then she- you know what i'm just going to post the whole thing i can't say anything to make this better

caitlin esplode

yeah. that happened!

final thoughts/tl;dr: this is not long enough to need a tl;dr. anyway the only part of Caitlyn that you need to read is the part i just posted. you're welcome. oh and she has one good line when she finds her weapon and goes “Non-fatal, unless of course I was a member of the LAPD...” which actually works really well for a political hippie chick. basically the character had some potential but nothing happens with it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

another!!
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Alright, Peter Rosenthal. A kid with five whole on-island threads and two kills who ends up committing suicide. Might actually?? Be interesting??? lets see. his profile bugs me because he's apparently up to 300 pounds which is "a bit overweight" which is Not. this is a nitpick. less of a nitpick: he loses his virginity to a 20-something-year-old dude when he's 14 and i'm supposed to be totally cool w/ that. i am not! i am not cool with that. this experience apparently helps him realize he's gay and i continue to be uncomfortable with statutory rape being framed as a positive experience. anyway he's a big smart gay guy who takes things too personally. got it. i'm gonna just feel slightly uncomfortable for the rest of this writeup

peter has 2 pre-game threads but one is lost to the ages and the other, according to the wiki, peter's handler wanted deleted anyway, so I'm not gonna read it and lets go straight to his game proper. his opening post is fine- he panicks, he finds his weapon, he thinks of his... boyfriend? crush? he has no pregame so i have no idea what his relationship with Andi Ayala is. anyway he thinks of him and is Worried. he's in a thread with Mamien Darter-Cadison whose red text is giving me a headache and Kristey Burrowell who's kind of in a mood. Peter is definitely the most normal person here. he's actually trying to be nice and learn who these other people are and doesn't immediately want to murder them! i'm proud. basically this whole thread Camien Marter-Dadison is contemplating murder w/ the voices in his head, Kristey is considering murdering Him, and Peter is just kind of like :|, which is the correct reaction. sam sorenson wanders into the thread and peter doesn't even acknowledge it happened which makes me like him more. apparently Kristey is Andi's half-sister and Andi is confirmed to be Peter's boyfriend and they're friends now and the area becomes a danger zone so they leave

next thread. a lot of people are here! i actually like how the relationship between Peter and Kristey is winding up. like they're sticking together because they're looking for the same person, and they're not overly sentimental or overly aggressive toward each other. they're just kinda neutral-to-friendly in a way that works. on the other hand now Peter is considering killing Mamien Carter-Dadison outright instead of just considering killing him if he needs to in the future. which... Might be justified, considering how he's been acting? anyway they don't really interact with anyone here, they just spot Meme Name Boy from afar and he spots them and then they run.

holy shit I only at this point realized Andi Ayala is one of his kills. huh. wait didn't Polybius talk about this. i'm going to completely ignore that so i can pretend this might go well. next thread: i read this one!! it's the one where matt lafferty gets eaten (not literally) (please god no cannibalism v2 is bad enough) by andi ayala which makes this the reunion thread i guess. Peter doesn't actually turn up until 5 pages in where he runs into Vesa Turunen and apparently they had been penpals or something so now they're bros. and then he sees Andi! and it's at this point that Peter's island story goes reeeal downhill real fast. like I mentioned in Matthew's writeup his handler has him act very OOC to give Andi an excuse to kill him, which he does. Kristey (Andi/Kristey/Matthew all have the same handler btw, as do Peter and Vesa, this thread is really hard to follow) sees Andi kill Matt and is immediately terrified and that basically ends the Peter/Kristey alliance. and also Kristey was apparently planning on killing Andi from the start. i missed that little tidbit apparently. also Kristey uses the word "faggot" to describe her brother like 7573 times in this thread and it's off-putting

i need to stop rambling so much here's the short version of The Peter Rosenthal Story from here on out: he loves Andi, is cool w/ killing everyone else, and is openly mocking toward people who die who have teased him in the past. some guy walks in on them when they're about to fuck and they decide that's a good enough reason to kill him. then they fuckmurder-suicide which is a new one

final thoughts/tl;dr:

Posted Image

this could have been good! Peter was actually a pretty decent character at the beginning!! i was kind of looking forward to finding out why/how he kills his boyfriend!!! HE IGNORED SAM SORENSON!! but then he actually finds his boyfriend and it just turns into the Tragic Gay Love Murder Story. you know. that stereotypical tale. anyway basically him and andi merge into one being once they find each other and it's not interesting or compelling. so in the end Peter's still one of the better characters I've read but I still wouldn't recommend him because he disappointed me. he disappointed all of us. :(

next kid please !
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Quote:
 
While his light blue eyes gleam with arrogance, and are strangely intimidating in their confidence,

why do people write like this

anyway Franco Sebberts comes genuinely recommended, has 13 threads, and got two BKAs. but he dies of inactivity and also taser rape so it's a tossup.

this is really long oops


tl;dr/final thoughts: I actually really liked a lot of Franco, especially if you kinda leave your brain at the door and don't try to take him too seriously. he's a competently written (for the most part; there's plenty of typos but not ones bad enough to bug me) flamboyant villain who displays some real emotion and character in between killing people and saying ridiculous shit. that is, until you get up to his later threads (starting with Humanity), where it just feels like he's trying to outdo his own villainy and do horrible things for the sake of it rather than because it's what his character would do. so would i recommend franco? Yeah, actually, but just stop after Restraining Order: Part Two. actually you can stop after In Order to Survive since Restraining Order: Part Two really doesn't need franco in it at all. so yeah read his pregame and his first seven topics on-island and then make up a better ending for him with no taser rape. i believe in you.

my hands are tired. give me another one
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