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I Imagine Death So Much It Feels Just Like A Memory; Private
Topic Started: May 22 2017, 03:06 PM (411 Views)
Deamon
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((Kimiko Kao continued from Takao))

Kimiko didn't know what to do. She had killed someone and she didn't even know who they were. It was a different feeling from all her previous kills, she had known who the person was with all the others. The girls name still rattled around in her head, disconnected from everything else. She knew the girls name had been Jasmine but she didn't know any Jasmine's. She felt a roiling in her gut, like a storm brewing. If her place in the afterlife had ever been in question before now it was settled.

There was no going back from what she had done. She was especially aware of the gun in her pocket, even though it was in her possession it still felt like she was continuing Nancy's legacy. The gun was an instrument of death and she had used it to its fullest potential. Some pacifist she had ended up being.

Kimiko felt sick and like she wanted to cry but she forced both feelings down. They wouldn't help anything. The girls face flashed in her mind and she tried to remember it but the details were already hazy. Her subconscious already trying to forget what she had done.

Looking around Kimiko found she had wandered to the staff lounge. Not wanting to stand in the corridor Kimiko decided to re-enter it. What she had just done still took up most of her attention and she did so in a daze. It was stupid and reckless and Kimiko was immediately angry with herself when she realized the she lounge already had an occupant. Her hand instinctively went to the gun but she forced herself to just rest it on the grip.

The girl, Jasmine, appeared in her mind again and she let her hand drop.

Instead she waited to see the reaction of the occupant.
Forrest Quin - At the Zoo
Bret Carter - On a date
Aliya Kimia Nemati - In Training
Arizona - Practicing
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Kimiko shook her head. She knew leaving would be best bringing herself to actually do it was harder than she expected. She was just frozen where she was. Eventually she shook her head and shrugged. She didn't know what she wanted. She knew she was doomed, hell awaited her once she finally left the world. But she wanted and needed to keep going for Caleb and out of fear for what awaited her at the end of her journey.

Ty wasn't aggressive though. He seemed like something had happened to him. There was a lack of spirit in the way he moved and talked, Kimiko didn't know for sure if it was there or if she was imagining it but she felt like he had given up almost.

She raised her hands up in a placating gesture before starting to sign out a response.

"No, you can stay."

Kimiko waited for his reaction. It was weird, they both knew each other through Clarice and had met before but Kimiko couldn't think of a time they had ever been alone together. The situation was ironic in a way. Kimiko swallowed as the sick feeling rose in her throat. The knowledge of what she had done was still haunting her whenever her thoughts wandered. The moment replaying over and over again. She had acted without thinking and killed when she had no intention to.

She shook her head a little and returned her gaze to Ty, waiting to see what he would do.
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Kimiko didn't know what to say in response to Ty. He was right but the way he described everything didn't leave much room for her to do anything but nod. He seemed more understanding than Kimiko had been expecting, Ty had a reputation around school for his anger and while she knew he had been working on it there was always the knowledge of what it was like. It was strange to see him the way he was. Calm, almost melancholy. Kimiko couldn't blame him for that. The island changed people, she had found that out and the same thing had happened to her.

She even found herself mentally correcting the number of kills he said she had.

Jasmine entered her mind as she thought about how she had shot at her without any hesitation. Instinct taking over without a second thought as to what was actually happening.

He was right.

"It is."

Even if she hadn't taken anyone from Ty she had still ruined lives. Families back in Kingman had to live with the knowledge their children weren't coming back and it was her fault. Jasmine's parents would be left with the knowledge that their daughter died purely because she had been in the wrong place around the wrong person.

Again she was forced to spell out each letter individually to make sure none of her meaning was lost.

"Can't change it."
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Kimiko looked into his eyes, trying to find anything: anger, resentment, hate, pity. There was none of those things, just someone who had nothing left to give to the game they were trapped in. Who had nothing else that could be taken from them. Ty looked like he had nothing left in his body.

It made her question why she kept pushing forwards even with the knowledge that someone she has never known was dying due to what she had done and she hadn't tried to stop it from happening. What would Ty have thought then? If he knew what she had just done.

What he said had shaken her though. Kimiko had already changed during her time on the island and she knew it wasn't for the better. Her changes were still things she turned over in her head and struggled with whenever she had a chance to stop and think. She didn't know if she could change back.

She slowly nodded at Ty and then ran her gaze over the room before returning to him. Her question unspoken.

What now?
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Kimiko tilted her head at Ty. She had been avoiding confronting the question she had just been asked by Ty. It was something she thought about if left to think by herself for too long and every answer she came up with was painful to consider.

What if her parents didn't want her back? She was sure that society wouldn't want her back and Caleb's family would hate her. She had lost her parents a lot of face through her actions and she had betrayed key teachings of Taoism. She would be lucky to be welcomed home and she was scared what things would be like if she ever managed to make it back.

The truth was she had no idea what waited for her if she managed to get home. She had ideas but they were just fantasy. The fact she didn't know for sure terrified her.

Her eyes met Ty's but she didn't say anything until they fell to the floor.

She had no answer to his question.
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They both couldn't look at each other now. The heaviness in the room seeping over them as they both considered how things would be.

Kimiko shook her head a little to bring her thoughts back into the room. Dwelling on home wouldn't do her any good, she needed to focus on her goal.

There was no point staying, Ty had become wrapped up in his own thoughts and there was nothing else she wanted to say. Instead Kimiko just turned and slowly walked towards the exit of the room. As she did so she thought about the conversation she had just had with Ty. A lot of it had covered things neither of them wanted to talk about, unspoken truths but there was also another unspoken truth that existed between the two of them.

The difference between Kimiko and Ty was clear. He seemed to have accepted that he was likely going to die on the island. Kimiko however needed to get off the island, anything else would have been a failure.

That was what drove Kimiko to turn around and draw the gun. That was why she fired one bullet into Ty's back, between his shoulders. That was why when she watched him fall she felt something deep within her before it went quiet.

Then she was gone.

((Kimiko Kao continued elsewhere...))
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