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The Ones You Trust
Topic Started: May 21 2017, 12:23 PM (499 Views)
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[ *  *  * ]
"Really glad you guys are adjusting so nicely on the damn island!"

(( Jonathan Gulley continued from The Shape))

Jon was walking towards the group on the docks, Amanda's-no, his rifle in his gloved hands, obscured by bed sheets wrapped around his arms and shoulders. The Nixon mask still dangled out of Michael's jacket pocket.

"No really, that's great! It's great you guys are getting used to it all!"

Jon was furious. Nothing more could be said than that about his emotions.

"It's all one tropical island huh? Some nice sunshine, beaches, the ocean, free rooms, though room service kind of sucks..."

It wasn't right that the first people he managed to talk to again after shutting himself away were the same people he tried to shoot earlier.

"How'd you guys spend your evening? Huh Brendan? After that little cry of yours, did'ja find Alba... Get a little bit of drinking in at the pub... maybe work on some gains at the gym? Went home back to the asylum for some nice sleep and relaxation... Kill someone inbetween probably, but hey! Glad you found someone you love!"

It was even less right for Brendan to just get up and be okay after what happened. He really didn't care did he? He just played you again Jon, that's all he did, that's all he does.

"Glad it's all so easy for you guys."

Jon felt his arms shaking. He wasn't here to shoot anyone else, but the option was mighty tempting now, they weren't supposed to be here, what where they doing here?!

Jon wanted to say more, but his body locked up, he felt frozen in place. His fingers tightened around the rifle. His remaining eye stared in between the two. He was staring off into nothing now.

"What the fuck are you two doing here? Why? What do you want?"

He left space and looked back at them.

"What the fuck do you want from me?!"
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Jon felt somewhat satisfied that his appearance had caused Brendan to change his tune. He was not satisfied in the fact that it was obviously a ploy. Brendan was lying to Jon again. He took you for an idiot, Jon.

Part of him realized why he still kept the mask with him, why he kept it for all this time now, despite how useless it really was. When he didn't wear it, people saw him as a joke. Oh, it's just Jon, little five-one Jon. He couldn't harm a fly, even if he really tried. Then he wore it, he scared people. Brendan begged, even Alex was wide eyed, he was afraid until he found out who it was underneath it.

Brendan had walked right up to him and stared down at him.

He offered him his bag. The ones with his old stuff. The one with...

Oh shit, he had the tape recorder.

Jon stared at it for a moment, as Brendan asked him something else.

"....Jon, please, come with us. I don't want you to be alone again."

Jon felt his eyelid twitch.

"You're lying."

He lurched back, switching his view between Alba and Brendan. He couldn't let either of them disappear from his focus. They were trying to bait him.

He pointed his rifle at them.

He should have fucking known, the moment he would drop his guard they'd try to kill them. One would talk, the other would sneak around.

"I'm not that stupid, Brendan! You can't play me like that, not anymore!"
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Jon cocked his head to the side, squinting as Brendan pointed out what he'd done to Amanda. He tried to use the death of someone else to justify himself.

"That's funny. There's someone who's still the same person since before they were used, beaten, and shot? Point me to them, they deserve a fucking medal!"

Jon moved one hand away from his rifle, pointing to the bloodstained roll of bandages covering his eye socket and most of his forehead.

"Amanda shot me first, Brendan! She got involved when she had no business in what was happening! She got in the way when I wanted to kill you, and she got in the way earlier when I wanted to die! Each time she got involved, she only made it worse. For both me and her! What happened to her was as much as a consequence of her own actions as it was mine! As much as Mike's, Alex's, and Will's!"

His hand moved back to steady the grip.

"As much as you, Jerry, or Nancy..."

"Stop trying to use the damn moral high ground! Stop trying to pretend you're better than me! You value Amanda's life so bad, yet what about Bernadette, or Jerry?! What about them, huh? If I was anything like you, I would've shot you too, turned around, and started hunting Al. I'm not like you! I told you the reason I let you go. I came to take a life, and I took it! She wanted to die for you so bad, so she did it in your place!"

The barrel lowered as he stared at the ground. His dead expression cracked. His lip quivered, if just for a moment.

"I Wasn't... I Wasn't going to do it again. Won't do it again."

The edges of his eye turned pink as he stared on.

"I'm not like you.

I...I-I'm not."

He looked back.

"I don't get you Brendan. I don't. I don't know if you know what you're really doing, or if you're lying to yourself as bad as you are everyone else."

"To be honest, I don't know which one of those it is that scares me more, either."
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Jon stared at the ground as he listened to Brendan speak. Brendan seemed like he actually wanted to try for once. It almost seemed genuine, even. It scared Jon that he was actually considering hearing him out. Maybe Brendan did change... Maybe...

No! No, don't listen to him Jon, he's lying to you! He's lying to you again!

Don't fall for it.

"Okay... So I come with you, what happens next? You leave again to kill someone else? Like you did the first time with Jerry, or the second time with Bernadette? Who'll you kill next time? Alba over there? Or... Or are you gonna kill me next? Kill me before I wake up, call it a mercy killing? Or are you just gonna rob me of everything I've got, maybe leave a note that says it's for my own good and everyone else's, or some stupid self righteous shit like that?"

Jon couldn't let himself fall for it again. He won't let himself fall for it again. Brendan's been lying to him since he first found him, what's changed now?

"Y-you've said the same things over and over. I'm trying to do the right thing, or I'm sorry I didn't mean it, but everything you've done, it says the opposite. You can say whatever you want, but I'm looking at things you did, things I did. I wanted to help people, but I couldn't... I can't. I can't pretend to be the good guy anymore, so I don't see why you're still trying to. It doesn't matter what I do anyways, I don't matter... Even if I went with you, it wouldn't matter, you'd just do the same thing over and over. You say I've changed, but... At least I did change, for better or worse."

"You're still the same..."

Brendan said something else, something that hit him harder than Amanda's bullet. He mentioned him... He... he shouldn't have done that. He tried to apologize, he tried to reason that he just wanted to be a good friend. No friend would have done what he did.

"Brendan... No apology in the world can bring the dead back. You know that... I know that. I... I'm glad you found someone you can actually care about, not someone like me, someone you pretend to feel for, but... I've got nobody. You took it all away. I've got no one left to talk to, there's no one left alive I can relate to, they're all dead, and them I've seen them, and I've talked to them, I died too, but I can't anymore, because I'm still here. Nobody will let me pass on."

Jon dropped his gun, one of the bed sheets tangled around it and his shoulders fell with it.

"You wanna be my friend? You really want to do something right?"

Jon stared Brendan in the eye.

"Shoot me. Do something right. Do it for me. Do it for Amanda..."

Jon felt something that wasn't emptiness or regret for once. He felt anticipation, maybe... Just maybe he might see the people he cared about again.

"Your choice. I won't beg you..."

"You won't make me beg."
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Jon closed his eye and waited. He didn't say anything else, there was nothing that needed to be said. He wanted to see if Brendan was lying, if everything he said was true. One way or another, he'd find out, and he'd find out soon, even if it did kill him. Either Brendan would finish this here and now, or he'd leave again. All he wanted was some sort of closure, something to know. That's what made him angry, really. He didn't understand Brendan, and that was driving him insane. He didn't know if he was real in his pleas, or if it was just some sick way of fucking with him.

He waited.

"No. I will not shoot you, Jon. I will not be the same person who selfishly takes someone's life again."

Jon opened his eye and saw Brendan right in front of him. Jon tried to step back as Brendan closed in. Brendan grabbed him, what was-

He hugged him?

Jon didn't know what to think of it at first. Questions filled his head. He didn't understand... Brendan didn't kill him, but he didn't leave him. He wasn't trying to throw him to the ground, or take his belongings.

It was only a hug. Nothing more, nothing less. It shouldn't have any value coming from him... It shouldn't have meant anything. Jon listened to what Brendan and Alba had to say.

There were a lot of words that buzzed along his mind as he tried to think of what to say.

"Okay..." was all that came out.

Jon returned the hug.

"I'll go. I'll go with you."

Jonathan Gulley wasn't sure what to feel right now. He should be crying right now to be honest, but nothing was coming out. He couldn't really find an emotion that fit, he just didn't know. He couldn't understand what Brendan was doing, what he was thinking. He couldn't understand why he said yes. He couldn't understand what he was feeling right now, or what he should be feeling. He didn't know anymore.

He knew two things though.

"If you two want to go on ahead and see Ty, go on, I'll meet up with you."

He knew he wouldn't leave them again,

"There's something I came here to do first." Jon looked at the bedsheets he wrapped around himself.

and he knew he had something to finish.
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Jon noted that he would have to meet the two at the bridge. He'd head up there first chance he had, but there was something he was planning to do here, before he even seen them come.

Jon bent over and picked up his rifle again, uncoiling the sheet that was tangled around it when it fell, putting it back around his shoulders.

Two of them.

Two bedsheets,

Two people he needed to cover.

Jon looked up the hill at the first corpse.

As he walked over to Amanda he tried to think of what to say.

You shouldn't gotten involved...

This could've been avoided...

You should have let me die...

Those were the first things that came to mind. They weren't necessarily the nicest things, but they were the most honest.

He started placing the sheet on her, starting from the legs and bringing it up.

I fucked up...

Your death was senseless...

It was you or Brendan...

He finished covering her, and he still had no idea what to say. He knew he was responsible for it, but he couldn't help trying to find a way to shift the blame. He wanted to be respectful, maybe give an apology to her family, something... He thought, and thought.

I'm... well... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did, and not the way I did it. I have to take responsibility for the atrocity I did, the senselessness of your death was on me, there's not much more I can say. I wish you would have left me to die, and I really wish you didn't get involved when I was after Brendan. None of this would have happened if you just stayed away. I don't know what to say to your family, I know they probably want me dead, and I wouldn't blame them... I just...

Jon just said nothing.

He moved to the other corpse.

As he got closer, he noticed something new.

There was a spear by him.

Who left this here? Why did they?

He sat down by Michael, and picked up the spear. It looked like some sort of jerry-rigged broomsti-.


Michael made a spear for Jerry. Brendan stole it when he ki-


Brendan was telling the truth...

You killed Amanda for nothing.

You almost killed Brendan for nothing.

Good job.

Jon watched a lot of movies, and a lot of TV shows, he'd seen moments like these. The bad guy realizes they're the bad guy, and they break down sobbing, they go insane, or they end up killing themselves or something.

All Jon could do was utter a barely audible "Damn."

Jon laid the spear back down by Michael, and stared out at the lake.

What the fuck happened to his emotions? Within the last hour each moment he experienced should have hit harder and harder. He should have broken down by now, but he didn't. He was just here. The worst thing he was feeling right now was a knot in his throat.

He looked at Michael's corpse again. He moved over to cover it with the bed sheet. He started at the feet, and stopped at the shoulders.

"I... I didn't get Alex, but he's dead now, and I helped with it. I don't know if it would make you feel any better or not. You probably saw what I did to Amanda... I don't know what you think about it, but... it's my fault for what happened. I should have lost more than an eye... I'd give my other one to see you again."

Jon looked at the sky, thinking of another thing to say.

"I know you told me to give up, but it's too late for it now. I don't know why, there's nothing back home for me. Everyone's gonna want me dead, and even if my parents want me back, I won't be able to. Their Jon's gone, what would come back would be nothing but some machine that vaguely looks like him... I don't know. I just hope someone kills me soon, because I can't do it myself. Probably wouldn't do it right if I tried anyways."

"To be honest, I hope the worst person on this island wins. I want to see them go home, and live their life rejected. I can't see someone good making it out of here. Nobody can cope with this."

Jon thought about Brendan and Alba. One of them's going to die eventually, and the other's going to be destroyed mentally. The survivor will be like him. Jon didn't want to see it happen, but he knew it would.

He reached over, and covered Michael's face with the bed sheet.

"I'm gonna try and help Brendan and Alba. They don't deserve what happened to us. Maybe I might get lucky and take a bullet for one of them."

Jon got up and walked away. He stopped and turned around.

He could have swore he heard something.

See you soon.

((Jonathan Gulley continued elsewhere.))
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