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The Ones You Trust
Topic Started: May 21 2017, 12:23 PM (481 Views)
Primrosette
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((Brendan Harte continued from Que Sera, Sera))

Brendan wondered why he had made his way back here with Alba. Maybe he wanted to see Amanda's body. She had saved his life moments before Jonathan had ruthlessly took her down in front of him. He wanted to pay his respects and at least try to carry on for her as well as Alba. Even though, Amanda was gone. He felt responsible for what happened to her. It should have been him lying on the ground dead, not her. Too late for him to turn back time right now.

He glanced at Alba who was walking beside him and he was actually feeling like everything was going to be okay for now. Just for a little while. He was feeling that they should take a break as soon as they reached the docks. They still had time to look for Ty. At least Brendan hoped so.

"Do you think that I....?" Brendan paused as he spoke and he stopped to think about what he would say next to Alba. It was getting harder and harder for him to want to talk. "Do you think that I can really be trusted by you, Alba? What do you think will happen if I just betrayed you just like that?"

Brendan wouldn't stab Alba in the back. That just made him think of Jerry. He knew what he meant. But he wanted to know Alba's honest opinion. He wanted her to make him understand. He wanted things to be different. He wanted....

Brendan felt himself smile a little.

"I know this is the worst time to say it. But if we weren't here and we had gone on that trip. I would have wanted to try to ask you out. I wanted to have you as my girlfriend, Alba." He confessed to her honestly, he rubbed the back of his neck out of awkwardness. "I wanted to tell you this now. Just in case something happens to either of us before I had a chance to say it."
Edited by Primrosette, May 21 2017, 12:25 PM.
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((Alba Reyes continued from Que sera, sera))

Alba stayed quiet as she and Brendan made their way to the docks. Alba wasn't sure what to talk about during the trek over. She had just told her best friend here that she would kill him if it came to it. Was that the kind of person she was now that she had been put through this game, or was this someone who was always there? Was this the kind of person she wanted to show her parents and younger siblings? She wasn't sure, and she was scared to think about what they'd think if they were watching this.

As they walked, Brendan asked Alba if she really trusted him. Alba was surprised. She thought she made it clear back in the dorms how she felt about him. Maybe he just needed to know if she thought he could betray her.

"I do trust you," Alba said. "Like I said, I think you want me to trust you and to be by your side. I don't think you'd be able to live if you betrayed me. I don't think you can do something like that."

Brendan then confessed something else. Brendan apparently wanted to ask Alba out if they hadn't been abducted on the trip. It looks like he was serious back when he asked her to Sadie Hawkins. Alba's mouth hung open, and she turned slightly away.

"Oh...um..." she stammered.

How was she supposed to respond to that after everything that happened?
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"Really glad you guys are adjusting so nicely on the damn island!"

(( Jonathan Gulley continued from The Shape))

Jon was walking towards the group on the docks, Amanda's-no, his rifle in his gloved hands, obscured by bed sheets wrapped around his arms and shoulders. The Nixon mask still dangled out of Michael's jacket pocket.

"No really, that's great! It's great you guys are getting used to it all!"

Jon was furious. Nothing more could be said than that about his emotions.

"It's all one tropical island huh? Some nice sunshine, beaches, the ocean, free rooms, though room service kind of sucks..."

It wasn't right that the first people he managed to talk to again after shutting himself away were the same people he tried to shoot earlier.

"How'd you guys spend your evening? Huh Brendan? After that little cry of yours, did'ja find Alba... Get a little bit of drinking in at the pub... maybe work on some gains at the gym? Went home back to the asylum for some nice sleep and relaxation... Kill someone inbetween probably, but hey! Glad you found someone you love!"

It was even less right for Brendan to just get up and be okay after what happened. He really didn't care did he? He just played you again Jon, that's all he did, that's all he does.

"Glad it's all so easy for you guys."

Jon felt his arms shaking. He wasn't here to shoot anyone else, but the option was mighty tempting now, they weren't supposed to be here, what where they doing here?!

Jon wanted to say more, but his body locked up, he felt frozen in place. His fingers tightened around the rifle. His remaining eye stared in between the two. He was staring off into nothing now.

"What the fuck are you two doing here? Why? What do you want?"

He left space and looked back at them.

"What the fuck do you want from me?!"
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And there was Jon at the worst possible moment for Brendan. Brendan had wanted to find him but not like this. Not at this moment when he was trying so hard to keep himself sane. He just wanted some normality with Alba just for a while. But Jon was just making him feel worse. He didn't feel like he was going to lose his temper with Jon. He just wanted Jon to calm down and talk with him.

"Just.... stop it, Jon. Please, I don't want to fight anymore. You think things have been easy for me...? No, nothing is easy for anyone who is left on this stupid island. I just wanted to keep myself a little bit sane with Alba. Because I am this close to wanting to end it for myself. But I can't do that. I have to find Ty and try to sort things out without it ending in complete shit."

Brendan stared over at Jon with a serious glance. Then he shrugged Jon's bag off his shoulder and held it in his hand. Then he made his way over to Jon. He continued to stare at Jon's face. He was basically towering over Jon. He held the bag out towards Jon.

"Here. Take it back. It belongs to you, Jon." Brendan said to him, sighing tiredly and he blinked slightly. "I wanted you to have this back. I didn't use anything that is in it, I swear."

Brendan bit his lower lip, thinking over what he was going to say next.

"....Jon, please, come with us. I don't want you to be alone again."
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Alba was prepared to respond to Brendan's comment. Well, she would have, had she had some more time to think. Unfortunately, they were interrupted by Jon. Alba should have been glad to see Jon, but knowing he killed Amanda and was now hurling insults made her less than thrilled to see him. Jaime wasn't even cold yet, and the way Jon was talking could cause Brendan to launch into action. Alba wasn't sure if she was ready for that. She really just wanted to walk away peacefully. Even so, she kept a steady grip on the rifle.

Fortunately, Brendan seems to be heeding her advice. He told Jon what they wanted and offered Jon back the bag he took. Perhaps that would calm Jon down. Alba decided she needed to help as well.

"Yeah, we're not trying to do anything crazy," she said. "We're just looking for Ty. That's all we're doing right now."
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Jon felt somewhat satisfied that his appearance had caused Brendan to change his tune. He was not satisfied in the fact that it was obviously a ploy. Brendan was lying to Jon again. He took you for an idiot, Jon.

Part of him realized why he still kept the mask with him, why he kept it for all this time now, despite how useless it really was. When he didn't wear it, people saw him as a joke. Oh, it's just Jon, little five-one Jon. He couldn't harm a fly, even if he really tried. Then he wore it, he scared people. Brendan begged, even Alex was wide eyed, he was afraid until he found out who it was underneath it.

Brendan had walked right up to him and stared down at him.

He offered him his bag. The ones with his old stuff. The one with...

Oh shit, he had the tape recorder.

Jon stared at it for a moment, as Brendan asked him something else.

"....Jon, please, come with us. I don't want you to be alone again."

Jon felt his eyelid twitch.

"You're lying."

He lurched back, switching his view between Alba and Brendan. He couldn't let either of them disappear from his focus. They were trying to bait him.

He pointed his rifle at them.

He should have fucking known, the moment he would drop his guard they'd try to kill them. One would talk, the other would sneak around.

"I'm not that stupid, Brendan! You can't play me like that, not anymore!"
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Brendan just stared at Jon in disbelief. He was still holding out the bag towards Jon. He stared down at the rifle that Jon was pointing. At him. Again. Brendan should have guessed that his attempt at trying to make peace with Jon would have not worked at all. Still.... What did Jon mean by playing him? Had Brendan really tried to trick him?

"W-What are you talking about?" He asked, looking generally confused. "I'm not trying to do anything. I just want to give this back to you. And then I'm leaving with Alba to find Ty."

He turned his head to look at Alba and then then back at Jon. He slowly lowered Jon's bag, putting it down on the ground. Then he took a few steps backwards.

"With you or without you, Jon. It's obvious you don't trust me. I get it. But...."

Michael's death wasn't my fault....

Brendan wanted to say that. But what if it only made Jon more mad at him? As if Brendan didn't hate himself enough already, having someone he liked hating him was the worst.

"....I can forgive you for trying to kill me, Jon." Brendan told him honestly, shifting slightly on his feet to stay active and more alert. "But what you did to Amanda was unforgiveable. I thought you were a better person than me. But I was wrong; you took her life like she meant nothing to you just so you could get your so-called revenge on me. It worked. You made me want to die so badly. But I'm still here because I have to try to atone for what I did to Jerry, Bernadette and Jaime. I have to find Ty and I hope that I can sort things out with him. And then I was going to find you, Jon. But I stumbled across you first, I wanted to do something right. But you are not giving me that chance. Because you are not the same person as you were before and I hate seeing you like this. And there is nothing that I can do to help you. All I can do now is just say that I'm sorry for everything that happened to you, Jon."
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So Jon wasn't buying it. Alba felt herself getting more and more nervous. A partnership with Jon was looking unlikely at this point, so the best thing to do would be to walk away and pray that no one had to die. Alba was at least glad that Brendan was heeding her advice and trying to talk to Jon. She wasn't sure how effective it was going to be. Either way, she had to hope she wouldn't have to raise her rifle against him.

Alba moved a little closer to Brendan.

"Bren, we can leave," she whispered. "If Jon doesn't want to come, we can just go."

It felt horrible to leave someone behind, but it was becoming more apparent things weren't going to go well here.
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Jon cocked his head to the side, squinting as Brendan pointed out what he'd done to Amanda. He tried to use the death of someone else to justify himself.

"That's funny. There's someone who's still the same person since before they were used, beaten, and shot? Point me to them, they deserve a fucking medal!"

Jon moved one hand away from his rifle, pointing to the bloodstained roll of bandages covering his eye socket and most of his forehead.

"Amanda shot me first, Brendan! She got involved when she had no business in what was happening! She got in the way when I wanted to kill you, and she got in the way earlier when I wanted to die! Each time she got involved, she only made it worse. For both me and her! What happened to her was as much as a consequence of her own actions as it was mine! As much as Mike's, Alex's, and Will's!"

His hand moved back to steady the grip.

"As much as you, Jerry, or Nancy..."

"Stop trying to use the damn moral high ground! Stop trying to pretend you're better than me! You value Amanda's life so bad, yet what about Bernadette, or Jerry?! What about them, huh? If I was anything like you, I would've shot you too, turned around, and started hunting Al. I'm not like you! I told you the reason I let you go. I came to take a life, and I took it! She wanted to die for you so bad, so she did it in your place!"

The barrel lowered as he stared at the ground. His dead expression cracked. His lip quivered, if just for a moment.

"I Wasn't... I Wasn't going to do it again. Won't do it again."

The edges of his eye turned pink as he stared on.

"I'm not like you.

I...I-I'm not."


He looked back.

"I don't get you Brendan. I don't. I don't know if you know what you're really doing, or if you're lying to yourself as bad as you are everyone else."

"To be honest, I don't know which one of those it is that scares me more, either."
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Brendan shook his head at Alba as she suggested that they should go. He couldn't just leave Jon like this. He couldn't leave him again. He ran off like a complete coward when they saw Danny's body and last time Jon left him after killing Amanda and breaking him down. He didn't want to be a coward or a crybaby anymore. He wanted to do the right thing.

Brendan just listened as Jon continued to talk and talk. Brendan was feeling his chest tightened as Jon's words were hitting him more and more. He watched as Jon was lowered the rifle. That was a good thing. Was he somehow managing to get through to Jon in a stange way? It could result in no fighting. Or killing....

"....I'm actually scared of myself, Jon. I'm scared that I'm still going to hurt someone because I can't change who I am. I'm trying to. I want to change myself. I want to at least do one thing right even if it resulted in me dying. I can't do it without some help. Which is why Alba is here with me, she's helping me try to be a good person. Even if it is getting too late for that...." He murmured quietly, he was feeling more and more tired. "I guess I really can't convince you to come with us. Right...?"

His voice had cracked a little and he sounded like he was getting more emotional. He didn't want to cry again. What was crying going to accomplish? Absolutely nothing.

"....I didn't mean for Michael to die. I didn't know.... I couldn't.... I can't do anything right. I can't even do things right by you, Jon. I just wanted to be your friend. I wanted to be someone to you. I wanted to be there for you. But I had to go and do something so stupid. And I hated myself for it. I still do. I hate that I'm still alive while people who are so much more deserving of living are now dead because of me."

Brendan choked on a sob. He didn't want to cry. He held back the tears. He couldn't let Jon see him as a weakling again.

"I.... I-I'm sorry...."
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Jon stared at the ground as he listened to Brendan speak. Brendan seemed like he actually wanted to try for once. It almost seemed genuine, even. It scared Jon that he was actually considering hearing him out. Maybe Brendan did change... Maybe...

No! No, don't listen to him Jon, he's lying to you! He's lying to you again!

Don't fall for it.

"Okay... So I come with you, what happens next? You leave again to kill someone else? Like you did the first time with Jerry, or the second time with Bernadette? Who'll you kill next time? Alba over there? Or... Or are you gonna kill me next? Kill me before I wake up, call it a mercy killing? Or are you just gonna rob me of everything I've got, maybe leave a note that says it's for my own good and everyone else's, or some stupid self righteous shit like that?"

Jon couldn't let himself fall for it again. He won't let himself fall for it again. Brendan's been lying to him since he first found him, what's changed now?

"Y-you've said the same things over and over. I'm trying to do the right thing, or I'm sorry I didn't mean it, but everything you've done, it says the opposite. You can say whatever you want, but I'm looking at things you did, things I did. I wanted to help people, but I couldn't... I can't. I can't pretend to be the good guy anymore, so I don't see why you're still trying to. It doesn't matter what I do anyways, I don't matter... Even if I went with you, it wouldn't matter, you'd just do the same thing over and over. You say I've changed, but... At least I did change, for better or worse."

"You're still the same..."

Brendan said something else, something that hit him harder than Amanda's bullet. He mentioned him... He... he shouldn't have done that. He tried to apologize, he tried to reason that he just wanted to be a good friend. No friend would have done what he did.

"Brendan... No apology in the world can bring the dead back. You know that... I know that. I... I'm glad you found someone you can actually care about, not someone like me, someone you pretend to feel for, but... I've got nobody. You took it all away. I've got no one left to talk to, there's no one left alive I can relate to, they're all dead, and them I've seen them, and I've talked to them, I died too, but I can't anymore, because I'm still here. Nobody will let me pass on."

Jon dropped his gun, one of the bed sheets tangled around it and his shoulders fell with it.

"You wanna be my friend? You really want to do something right?"

Jon stared Brendan in the eye.

"Shoot me. Do something right. Do it for me. Do it for Amanda..."

Jon felt something that wasn't emptiness or regret for once. He felt anticipation, maybe... Just maybe he might see the people he cared about again.

"Your choice. I won't beg you..."

"You won't make me beg."
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Brendan had to listen to Jon's words. Things weren't going how he hoped that they would. Why did he think that it would be so easy to try to change someone's mind about him? It wasn't. Jon still thought that he was that same person. Maybe he was right. But Brendan was serious about trying to change who he was. He couldn't go back to hurting other people again. He had done enough damage as it is. He didn't want to get that twisted feeling again like he did with Jaime. Never again.

And then Jon wanted him to do something. Something that he never wanted to do once more. He wanted Brendan to shoot him. He wanted Brendan to be a real friend and end things for him.

......

Do you really want to do that, Brendan?

"No. I will not shoot you, Jon. I will not be the same person who selfishly takes someone's life again." Brendan had stopped crying and now he was staring at Jon with a stern look on his face. "How could you ask me to do something like that? I'm not going to be that heartless bastard who does whatever he pleases. Don't you dare try to make me that person again, Jon. P-Please.... I don't want you to die."

He stepped around the rifle and he strolled towards Jon. He couldn't let Jon give up. He didn't want to lose a friend again. He was already broken-hearted about other people. He couldn't let Jon die. Jon was wrong, so, so wrong. Brendan did care about Jon. If he didn't, he would have just point blank shot Jon in the face.

He stopped right in front of Jon, clenching and unclenching his fists. He had to convince Jon one last time. He wanted this to work out somehow.

He wrapped his arms around Jon and he pulled himself into a gentle hug. He was afraid that Jon would push him away. But he had to do something. He couldn't just hurt Jon. He never wanted to.

"Jon, come with us, please. I don't want to lose you too."
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Alba remained where she was as the boys continued to talk. She was so afraid that things would turn sour no matter what was said. Brendan was restraining himself really well considering what Jon was saying to him. She was worried Jon might say or do something that could change Brendan's tone instantly, but that didn't seem to happen.

Jon then asked Brendan to kill him, dropping his weapon. Alba tensed up. She knew that another kill, no matter what excuse was given or how it was stated on the announcements, would put a larger target on Brendan's back. At the same time, killing a friend would be something absolutely terrible for Brendan to go through. He was already feeling guilty for the three deaths he caused, and repeating his murder of Bernadette would probably break him further.

To her relief, Brendan hugged Jon, making a final plea with him. She exhaled a bit. She hoped Jon could finally be swayed, and maybe this would be the moment that they all walked away from this place in peace and towards wherever Ty was.

"Please," Alba muttered to herself. "Please just go our way..."
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Jon closed his eye and waited. He didn't say anything else, there was nothing that needed to be said. He wanted to see if Brendan was lying, if everything he said was true. One way or another, he'd find out, and he'd find out soon, even if it did kill him. Either Brendan would finish this here and now, or he'd leave again. All he wanted was some sort of closure, something to know. That's what made him angry, really. He didn't understand Brendan, and that was driving him insane. He didn't know if he was real in his pleas, or if it was just some sick way of fucking with him.

He waited.

"No. I will not shoot you, Jon. I will not be the same person who selfishly takes someone's life again."

Jon opened his eye and saw Brendan right in front of him. Jon tried to step back as Brendan closed in. Brendan grabbed him, what was-

He hugged him?

Jon didn't know what to think of it at first. Questions filled his head. He didn't understand... Brendan didn't kill him, but he didn't leave him. He wasn't trying to throw him to the ground, or take his belongings.

It was only a hug. Nothing more, nothing less. It shouldn't have any value coming from him... It shouldn't have meant anything. Jon listened to what Brendan and Alba had to say.

There were a lot of words that buzzed along his mind as he tried to think of what to say.

"Okay..." was all that came out.

Jon returned the hug.

"I'll go. I'll go with you."

Jonathan Gulley wasn't sure what to feel right now. He should be crying right now to be honest, but nothing was coming out. He couldn't really find an emotion that fit, he just didn't know. He couldn't understand what Brendan was doing, what he was thinking. He couldn't understand why he said yes. He couldn't understand what he was feeling right now, or what he should be feeling. He didn't know anymore.

He knew two things though.

"If you two want to go on ahead and see Ty, go on, I'll meet up with you."

He knew he wouldn't leave them again,

"There's something I came here to do first." Jon looked at the bedsheets he wrapped around himself.

and he knew he had something to finish.
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Brendan was relieved when Jon hugged him back and that he was agreeing to go with him and Alba. Brendan didn't think that he could be able to do it. He actually thought he was going to fail and never see Jon again. But maybe it was the hug that caused it to happen. Brendan was not the best fan of hugs, but he took a risk into getting Jon to go with them. At least he finally did something right for once without it turning to violence and everything going wrong afterwards.

"Thank you, Jon, thank you."

Brendan felt like he was going to cry once more. Not tears of sadness. But more positive. More or less happy tears. But he didn't feel any coming. He had sobbed too many times before. So all he could muster up was a small, kind-looking smile as he glanced at Jon's face more clearly. This time he was not afraid to look him in the eye. He wasn't scared anymore.

Jon then mentioned that he had something to do first beforehand and that Brendan and Alba could go on ahead of him to find Ty. Brendan wasn't sure how to respond to that at first. Was it really okay to leave Jon alone for a while? If it is what Jon wanted, then it was the good thing that Brendan could do. If they were to become allies or friends again.... Right?

"I.... Okay. We're go on ahead and wait for you at the bridge. It'll be our meet up point." Brendan said, before pulling out of the hug gently and he give Jon a light nod of his head before turning to face Alba. "L-Let's get going, Alba. Be safe, Jon."

Please show up, Jon, please show up, please don't die....

((Brendan Harte continued elsewhere))
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