Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Survival of the Fittest, a RPing board loosely based off of Koshun Takami's Battle Royale, with its own unique plot and spin on the 'deadly game'. We've been around quite a while, and are now in our thirteenth year, so don't worry about us going anywhere any time soon!

If you're a newcomer and interested in joining, then please make sure you check out the rules. You may also want to read the FAQ, introduce yourself and stop by the chat to meet some of our members. If you're still not quite sure where to start, then we have a great New Member's Guide with a lot of useful information about getting going. Don't hesitate to PM a member of staff (they have purple usernames) if you have any questions about SOTF and how to get started!

Let the games begin!

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Gift for the Darkness
Topic Started: May 15 2017, 02:21 AM (682 Views)
Randomness
Member Avatar
Is in some state of existence
[ *  *  *  * ]
((Jordan Green continued from Where WIll You Stand When the Flood Comes?))

This was becoming a pattern. A horrible ongoing trainwreck disaster of a pattern.

People came, people left, and it was the two of them again.

Jeremy was dead. Nate had disappeared off in the middle of the night, like everyone else who they had met on the island. And then he'd end up dying or killing just like everyone else.

It was weird. They'd never seen any of it happen. Only what was left. Was it any better that they didn't see it? Or was it wearing down upon them more than actually

It wasn't like they weren't trying to help. And it at least felt like they were less murderous or suicidal than at least half the people left alive on the island. And yet, everybody left anyway.

What was he supposed to say to her?

It wasn't like he had any reply.

Or more specifically he had too many, each and every one wrong in their own special way, and maybe that was the point, that you could never be perfect and that sometimes you couldn't do anything but hurt someone else no matter what you did. But he didn't want to hurt anyone, and all he could do was try not to look depressed or angry, hoping that the realisation that not talking about any of this was just making everything worse would go away.

"I- N-never mind."

He was too stressed. He almost said something dumb. Stupid. Insane. Some other synonym that his tired brain was failing to think of right now. It'd had been fun being with Hazel, and maybe that was part of the problem.They couldn't get themselves out of this stupid place because they were having fun, and avoiding everyone and everything, both by fate and by choice.

Maybe he understood Nate just a little now. Too little, too late though. He wanted to break down and cry but somehow he couldn't. Not just because she was watching him. Not just because the world was watching him. No, his emotions were so much of a mess on the inside that it couldn't even cohere into a breakdown.

"Why... do they keep leaving?"

He shouldn't have asked that.

Not out loud.

He could see it in her eyes.

And it was only now he realised that she had said the same thing, only with different words.
"I have the heart of a young boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk" -- Stephen King

Those no longer with us

It's the Grand Map of Doom! v6
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Randomness
Member Avatar
Is in some state of existence
[ *  *  *  * ]
"They do, but it seems insane. Everything's insane.

He'd never really thought about it, and he never really wanted to. He wouldn't, plain and simple and the only question left in his head was why.

Because it was morally wrong? Because his reactions were as fast as a sloth captured on a slow motion camera? Because he would spend far too long agonising over the decision if it ever came to be?

And even if he needed to kill, say in self defense, then what then? Try to garotte someone to death with hemp rope? Like he could actually pull it off. It was better for everyone involved if he didn't even try really.

"I don't think so. But I dunno."

He didn't dare throw the question back at her.
"I have the heart of a young boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk" -- Stephen King

Those no longer with us

It's the Grand Map of Doom! v6
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Randomness
Member Avatar
Is in some state of existence
[ *  *  *  * ]
And suddenly everything had happened at once.

His mind was reeling from the contact, unable to understand what just happened

Was he happy with this? This was what he wanted, right? To be there for someone, to mean something to someone. But it was only part of him that was happy, that same deep, dark part that was jealous, that was angry, that wanted to snatch up the whole world and covet it.

Why wasn't the rest of him happy? Why was he feeling guilty? Hazel did it of her own free will, and he didn't do anything but try to help. It wan't supposed to be wrong. It wasn't supposed to be wrong.

This wasn't what he needed right now, even though he wanted it and oh my god he was about to burst into tears if this kept up.

And the best part was that Jay was here too, right now, in this already burning trainwreck of a moment. As if he didn't have enough trouble just dealing with the insides of his own mind.

She was crying and he couldn't do anything again, all that earlier conviction gone, evaporated over the past few days. He couldn't help as she walked closer towards, Jae, returning to where she-

Hazel punched him. He didn't understand. There was another girl and she was running, and everything was too bright with that flashlight. By the time he was able to do anything the fight was over, the girl gone and so much blood everywhere.

He was the worst. He'd tried to make keep them both safe , but when push came to shove, he was useless. Standing around like the useless git he was.

And she was bleeding and he couldn't help.

"Hazel?"

She didn't hear him. He didn't hear himself either and he wasn't even sure if he had actually said it.

And then she was down on the ground, and they were right next to her.

She wasn't moving.

It didn't feel real. It was fake. A nightmare. Some cruel simulation by a madman scientist. Not working. He couldn't even manage to delude himelf.

He wanted to be angry. Maybe scream. Shouting at Jay for being the dick who'd set this whole trainwreck in motion. Something stupid and movie-like. And maybe he might even get killed for his efforts. That almost sounded like a good idea in the stupid cloud of adrenalin he found himself in. But all he could muster was a profound emptiness.

It was funny. They'd spent so long looking for Jae together. It was just an excuse of a purpose, but it was a purpose in the end.

"I'm sorry, Hazel."

Somehow, he couldn't think of words that were any emptier.
"I have the heart of a young boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk" -- Stephen King

Those no longer with us

It's the Grand Map of Doom! v6
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Randomness
Member Avatar
Is in some state of existence
[ *  *  *  * ]
And then he left too.

Leaving Jordan for the first time, completely, properly, alone.

From moment one, it had been him and Hazel. Through whatever insanity this island threw at them, it was the one thing he really enjoyed.

And yet, he couldn't say anything more. That was all he could say. Sorry.

As if that meant anything to anyone at any time.

God, he barely even knew how he felt about her, and her dying right now only fragmented his thoughts even further. How much of it was the fear? The sense of shared comraderie in the face of death? How much of his thoughts of her were being rewritten by this new undeniable fact?

How much was he lying to himself when he said he was sorry?


They had been together almost a week. Over a week?

He suddenly wasn't sure what day it was anymore, and he shouldn't even be caring about that given what was right in front of him.

And he was freaking out even more because he had no idea how long he'd already been here.

It was frustrating, how it felt as if Hazel dying was somehow the lesser of the problems in his head. It wasn't. It couldn't be.

Taking several unsteady steps, Jordan started moving away from her.

He didn't know where he was going.

He didn't know why.

He just walked.

((Jordan Green continued in In Cups of Coffee, In Strife))
"I have the heart of a young boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk" -- Stephen King

Those no longer with us

It's the Grand Map of Doom! v6
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · Northwest Cliffs · Next Topic »
Add Reply