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This Nearly Was Mine; private; afternoon - day 8
Topic Started: May 9 2017, 02:27 AM (813 Views)
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
((Maxim Kehlenbrink continued from We Are Monsters))

Ben.

Not Fields. Fields was dead. While Maxim was with Brendan, Ben was being killed. Good. Ben deserved to die. Ben was terrible. Ben rejected him. Time and time again. Well there'd be no more rejection.

But Lichter. Ben Lichter. His travelling companion and friend for the first day. He'd seen him leaving. He tried yelling. His voice wouldn't go loud enough. He tried making noise. Nothing. He tried chasing after him. His lungs twisted and burned. Once again they were so close. But once again they were so far away.

Maxim looked for Brendan. He chased him. He fell down the hill. He lost Brendan. He looked, and looked, and looked all day but neither him nor the boy he ran after nor the girls he left behind were there. He was alone again. His hope returned when he saw Ben, but he never caught up to Ben.

He'd vomited again. Not on himself. It decorated the point of his chin, the back of his hand. His clothes were still clean. His clothes would remain clean.

The library was a shell. A burnt shell. Bookcases twisted and crumpled. Books turned to ash. A solitary chair remained. The rest had been smashed or burned. Maxim sat firmly on this chair.

The bow, which had remained unused in his bag for almost a week. was sitting in his hands.

But there was something missing. Not the arrow. It sat in the notch.

But something else.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
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Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
A girl. Nobody he knew. She was dark. Exotic. Not a word he used. But it fit. He didn't know her name.

She was keeping her distance. He must have looked dangerous. He wasn't. Supposed to, at least. Or maybe he was. He didn't know. He wanted to look it. He wanted to be it. He wanted to live it.

Cocksucker. It was the bow. Its topmost word. Cocksucker. Cocksucker. It was the first word he saw and the one word that kept him from picking up the bow. But it didn't matter anymore. He didn't care.

"Hello".

Maxim said it. He pretended he was friendly. Just like high school. Pretend. Pretend your eyes haven't blinked for minutes. Pretend you're not thinking. Pretend your arm is exhausted. Pretend your arm isn't itching.

Pretend everything is okay.

"Are you okay?"

She was okay. Maxim knew she was okay.

The girl was okay.

His middle finger twitched. The bow was placed to the ground. The arrow rested on top.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
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Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
"I have not."

Maxim knew Alessio had killed. Alessio, his once friend. He'd actually listened to the announcements this morning. He'd suffocated a girl with a plastic bag.

"I was friends with him once."

His face didn't move. At first. It changed slightly when he thought to Alessio. Sadness. A worthy chess partner. They sparred. Maxim usually came out on top. At least that's how the story went. Alessio might have told it a different way. It didn't matter much now.

He looked at the girl. He still didn't know her name.

"Are you looking to kill him?"

He knew the answer was probably going to be 'yes'. Maxim just wanted her to pick up whatever minute conversation was going on here. Keep her talking. The more she talked, the less he had to.

And every so often, he glanced back towards the bow.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Talking. It seemed all everyone wanted to do. It wasn't like there was much else to do. Besides the obvious alternative.

He really didn't care about what this girl had to say. Or even what she wanted to say to Alessio. But if she kept talking, opportunities presented themselves.

Of course, something else presented itself. Suddenly, Maxim was on a stage. He had a line. A good one in mind.

"Well..." Maxim started, before raising his hand and pointing behind the girl, "why don't you just ask him yourself?"
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
As the girl turned around, Maxim leaned forward, stood up, took the bow to his chest, pulled the string back past his head, and released.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Maxim had made the decision he was going to fight his way off the island on the morning of Day 8.

It was during a differing state of mind, something he experienced once he realized once again how alone he was. He had been alone before, of course, but that was when this whole thing had started. And naturally, he'd found people once again. And even more naturally, he'd lost them, when Brendan ran after the one who tried to shoot them. Brendan, who had chosen to run rather than face the truth Maxim had been working up to explaining, the truth he'd accepted days beforehand when Junko was shot by another now dead boy, when he'd said his goodbyes to his dad and to his doctor and to the boy who ruined his life who once loved him. There was just no point in putting up that facade anymore.

And what was the facade for in the first place? That he had time and patience for a grade of people who had nothing of the sort for him. That he would be able to walk out of this thing grasping onto the little remainder of friends that he had, a remainder that was barebones enough as it was before this whole thing began. It wasn't a case of everyone dying trying to find the reason this whole thing had to happen in the first place. It was a case of Them, vs. a case of Maxim, and Maxim deserved it more than them. He had gone through hell at that school no matter how nice he was. He was ostracized not only for his interests but for his sexuality as well. He'd done nothing wrong. Ever. Yet bad things still happened to him, because that was how the world worked. People pretended to be friends with him until it was just plain inconvenient. The world had it out for him.

Of course, he had to believe that, no matter how untrue it was. It was better than accepting responsibility for his own actions, for his forcing himself on his friend, for treating people like pieces on a chess board that was moving too fast around him, and for just being a flat-out asshole. If he did that, he'd have to face the truth, that he was responsible for most of anything he faced and he couldn't just blame a cruel world who had it out for him.

But if he'd done that, then he probably wouldn't have taken up his bow and shot an arrow into the shoulder of Vanessa Stone.

He wouldn't have made the decision to play his way off the island, and he might have gotten some true self-reflection in.

Instead, here he was.

Maxim wasn't sure where the arrow was meant to hit, but either way it knocked Vanessa down in a single strike. For a moment, he'd thought maybe she'd been killed, ludicrous as that might have been, but in the following few she started scrambling away. If she'd gathered momentum Maxim might have been worried, but it was nothing but a weak pathetic crawl. Of course, that still meant he needed to act fast before she found help, and that would put his own game in peril.

The bag was filled to the brim with food, water, and arrows. But Maxim didn't know how long it would take to fumble another one in, given it took so long the first time. If only she was still, and not still able to move away. He needed time for that that he didn't have.

As he took the bow down, he felt a weight of metal and wood move along his side. Oh. Of course. Why not? It would be messy, and it was a step up from what Maxim originally wanted to do in terms of how he played this, but just like his doctor once said, unfamiliar situations were how he would learn to grow.

Placing the bow on the ground, Maxim pulled the hammer from his waistline into his hands and started walking towards the prone Vanessa.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
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Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
When the spittle hit Maxim's cheek, an unfamiliar sensation came back. It wasn't something he expected, or something he wanted, or something he was even very familiar with. It felt like a knot was forming in his stomach, as he stared down at the girl with nothing but hate in her eyes.

If he was a few days younger, Maxim would have recognized it as the same feeling he felt when he kissed his best friend, humiliated himself, and destroyed his only true friendship all in the span of a single action. He would have realized that it would only get worse. And worse. And his stomach would twist itself so tight he would never recover from the pain, as it would burst open and consume every negative emotion and feeling set out in front of him.

But the only thing in front of him was his endgoal. Getting off the island. And in a literal sense, the girl with the piercing gaze.

In one swift motion, Maxim stepped his foot onto the girl's chest, gripped the hammer with both hands, and plummeted to earth.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
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Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Vanessa didn't go down in one blow. No, she was still moving after the first strike, so Maxim went again. She stopped moving after that. But Maxim didn't know, so instead of stopping, he kept hitting. Eventually, the cracking sound became a soft mush, as Vanessa's head and face turned to nothing.

This was how it was going to have to be. He didn't want to do this but it was the reality. Maybe if he really was some sort of psychopath he could find some sort of enjoyment out of it, but as it was, Maxim just felt ill. That tightening experience in his stomach continued, it did not loosen like it should have. He wanted to feel better, he wanted this girl's death to have some sort of good outcome, maybe like his own escape from the island and the escape of his constant well of negative feelings. But the goodness never came, he only felt worse.

Maxim stood up. The hammer dripped. Without betraying an emotion, he walked back to his bag and dropped the hammer. He hoped he would not have to deal with that thing for a while, especially considering he had no intention of wasting his own precious water washing the blood and gunk off. Instead, he picked up his other weapon, the bow with which he crippled the girl, and slung it around his shoulder. Maxim took an arrow from the bag, and held it in his fingers. If he was going to leave the island, he needed to get good with this.

Turning around, he returned to the now dead girl whose name was once Vanessa. He rifled through her belongings, both on her person and not. Nothing exceptional was on her, except another set of food for his own collection, a splintered leg with several protruding nails, and personal possessions which meant nothing to Maxim.

He turned around once again to retrieve his bag, only to stop in his tracks.

He was there, standing right by his bag.

If this were a situation with more normalcy involved, Maxim might have asked any number of things. Like how did he get there? What was he doing? Instead, this was a situation with much risk involved, especially to himself, so instead:

"What do you want?"
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Alessio Rigano.

At one point in Maxim's life, that name was a comfort. A friend. Now, it was a killer. Another killer, to be clear. Maxim could add that title to his own name now, discomforting as it was.

The alarming fact wasn't that Alessio was there. The alarming fact was that Alessio was there and he had a gun in his hands. And Maxim had nothing of the sort in his own.

He was standing a fair bit away, as was his bag. If he could just stall him, everything would turn out fine for him. As for Alessio, that remained to be seen. He didn't want to shoulder Alessio's burden, considering how he would have to be responsible for a far larger number of other kills if Maxim was going to get out alive.

So he took a step forward.

"I do not think you are in any position to ask that, Alessio."
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
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Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Step.

"Do you think I have not already tried that? Finding my friends? Staying together? Keeping safe? Not killing?"

Another step.

"If we were to be rescued, or if we were to beat this game, it would have happened by now."

Stop.

"I have accepted it. And you are smart, Alessio, you need to accept it too."

As long as you do not accept it within my vicinity.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Maxim did nothing as Alessio spoke but stare. He stared because he didn't want to risk getting any closer than he already was. He stared because the gun was still trouble. But mostly, he stared because he couldn't believe a single word of what he was saying.

Mostly because none of it applied to him.

When he stopped, Maxim stared the boy up and down. Without warning, he spoke again.

"I know you were once my friend, Alessio. So if that is true, why would you insult me like this?"

His hands clenched into fists.

"The amount of friends, the amount of people I give a fuck about, in this class, can be counted in one hand. And one of them is dead. So why the fuck should I fucking give a fuck about them?"

The words felt unnatural, rolling out of his mouth. Were he in a better state of mind he might have known that that was not how to swear. That also required knowing how to swear in the first place.

"I do not care about anyone in this fucking class. They all hate me, they all think I am weird and angry and a rapist because of what HE-"

Tiny stings erupted from his palms as Maxim's nails cut into the skin and started a flow of blood.

"Why the FUCK should I die for any of them? Why should I fucking care if they die? I do not want to die, and if you cannot see that-"

Maxim quickly pulled the bow from his shoulders and leapt forward.

"-YOU ARE NOT MY FUCKING FRIEND."

He swung.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Maxim's legs locked together as Alessio's own aimed between them. No, he would never be downed in such a humiliating way. Especially not by him. Not now.

He sprung off the backs of his heels and barrelled into his former friend. The two sprawled over the ground in a heap as Maxim attempted to wrestled his fingers around the gun in his pocket. After a suspiciously long several seconds, at least for what was easily a life or death situation, he gripped his hands around it, pulled it from his pocket, and pulled the trigger at what was Alessio's head.

Before he registered even a single one of the mistakes he'd made, be it the reality of the weapon, the position near his own bag, or how open he had left himself as he dove for the gun, Maxim felt something collide with his throat. The power threw him off the other boy, in a haze of delirium and what was now a comparative lack of oxygen going down.

Maxim was no longer concerned with Alessio. His flight instinct had collided with the fight, and now he just needed to breathe. He lay on his back, grasping with ravaged fingers at his own throat. Gutteral gasps filled the air.

"ghrk!" Maxim tried to say something at the other boy, but only noise came out.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
His head was spinning. Everything was going heavy. But as Alessio put his own foot down on Maxim's chest and stood over him in the exact same manner that he himself once stood over Vanessa, a single thought went through his head.

It wasn't that he could have prevented all this by changing the way he approached life, and people, and anyone.

It wasn't how he should have been more careful.

It wasn't even the fact that he shouldn't have started killing right now, he should have waited until there was less people left and he was in far less danger.

Well, it almost wasn't.

Because just four words entered his head and repeated until he lost his life under the hammer of Alessio Rigano.

It's not my fault.

It's not my fault.

It's not my fault.

It's not my fault.

It's not my fault.
It's not my fault.
It's not my fault.
It's not my fault.
It'snotmyfaultit'snotmyfaultit'snotmyfaultit'snotmyfaultit'sno
CRACK

M018: MAXIM KEHLENBRINK - DECEASED

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
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I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
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