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Ye Not; Not long before the announcements, morning 8
Topic Started: May 8 2017, 08:06 PM (863 Views)
Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
Olivia cupped her hands around her mouth.

"Georgia Lee!"

No one answered.

((Olivia Fischer continues from Cast in the Name of God))

Back when she was studying for her trigonometry exam last year, an eternity ago, she was in a panic. She'd been pulling at the pages of her textbook, almost ripping it off, trying to cram sines and cosines and double-angles in her head, trying to avoid what she saw as certain doom, failing the exam. There had been that feeling that the ceiling was weighing down on her, about to crush her, and yet it never happened. It just kept on weighing, pushing harder and harder and yet somehow leaving her alive.

And then when she took the exam, there was a numbness. The crushing feeling was still there, and part of her had the urge to just throw the pencil and paper out the window, yet that numbness helped her keep pushing on, helped her finish the exam.

She hated herself for comparing this literal life-and-death situation to some exam from last year,, but that was exactly it, that was exactly the feeling. Fire, panic, guilt coursing through her veins, contained by this mask, this blank mask. And she needed this mask, she could not afford to have this mask crack. Georgia Lee's life depended on it.

She drew a shaky breath. Looked at Coleen.

"If she's not here, try the cafeteria. Maybe she went to get something there."

She continued walking among the office, her footsteps echoing. Blood rushing through her ears.
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
Olivia continued walking as soon the announcements began, and staggered as Hannah's name came up. And the first thought that came to her was that out of all the people she'd been with on the cove on that first day, she was the last one standing. And they'd mentioned that half the kids she'd been with on the trip were dead a day or so again. She'd thought, hoped really, that after a week of this, the announcements would hurt less. She was wrong.

For a second or too, she stopped to catch her breath, a bit behind Enzo, when she noticed him stopping as well. And then Coleen screaming.

And then Georgia Lee.

Olivia fell rather than walked towards her body, lifting her up under the shoulder, shaking her. And she was so, so cold, and she was just sleeping, sleeping with her eyes open, laying flat on the ground, and she was so, so still.

"No no nonononono-"

and the fire was amplifying, intensifying and the crushing was around her neck, her chest, her entirety, and

"-no Georgia Lee don't do this please please I'm sorry-"

and is this what a second of sleep cost these days? what some rest cost? after all their trying and their praying and their striving, is this what some rest cost? and she continued to slap her, shake her, press on her chest

"I'm so sorry I won't- won't do this again, please, Georgia Lee, no don't- Georgia Lee, no no NO NO NO-"

wake up wake up wake up
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
Nothing to see? "Th-there's- there's Georgia Lee! Georgia Lee Georgia Lee Georgia Lee-" and she shook Enzo's hand off her shoulder cause it weighed a million pounds and she didn't need any more weight now she didn't need someone or something to continue squeezing her crushing her she needed someone to lift her up lift Georgia Lee up and so she shook her shook her and god oh god she was so limp, limp like a doll, limbs and head just bobbing along to the motion and her eyes wouldn't close and they were open and Olivia could see into them but they weren't seeing.

And they never would.

And Olivia collapsed into Georgia Lee, muttering, sobbing her name like a prayer a thousand times over, and she longed to hear Georgia Lee's breath, feel her chest heave, but all there was to hear was Olivia herself and wood breaking behind her.

And then Fiyori, and at first, she didn't matter, no one, nothing mattered. But then something she said struck Olivia.

Discovered her as well?

As well?

She slowly lifted her head up, didn't look at Fiyori. She spoke quietly.

"What?"
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
Olivia was looking at Fiyori now. She had her attention. And the way she talked about Georgia Lee's death as if it were just an 'oh-by-the-way', some little meet-up they had yesterday, it felt like a gunshot. Every word felt like a gunshot.

Her face turned red, and her nails dug into her palm. If it weren't for the announcements, she could've thought that Fiyori killed her. Would've made sense.

And yet, she knew. She was there for Georgia Lee's last moments. And Olivia had to know what happened.

So, she put down Georgia Lee's body, got up and walked towards her.

"Sure. Sure we can."
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
Without looking away from Fiyori, Olivia mumbled, "I'll be fine." And then she walked out the door, and saw Fiyori hold open a door for her. And this image struck her. What she knew of Fiyori was that she was a bad person. A bully. Some hedonistic woman without a care for anyone or anything. Her being polite enough to hold the door didn't fit. It didn't fit the story she had of Fiyori, this profile of some brute that Georgia Lee had constructed over study sessions and lunches. She held the door open for Olivia, and Olivia wished she'd shown that kindness to Georgia Lee when they met.

She entered the room. It was only then she took notice of the faded anatomy posters on the walls. This was a doctor's office. The room where Georgia Lee died was a doctor's office. If this weren't real life, Olivia could have chuckled a bit at the irony.

She looked at Fiyori, and a million courses of action rushed through her head. The next thing she did was lunge at Fiyori. She landed fist after fist into her face, broke her cheekbones into shards. No, she screamed at her, screamed and screamed and screamed until all the air was out of her lungs, and then some. No, she fell on the floor and let the world envelop her, let herself forget everything that had ever happened.

No. She wanted to do all of that at once, but she had questions, questions that only Fiyori had the answer to. That took priority over everything else. And while there were also a million questions, this one came out of Olivia's mouth first.

"What happened?"
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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"Mara was a mistake." - Cicada, 2017
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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
Georgia Lee did it. That was confirmed. She'd suspected it after their tense conversation back at the library, but Fiyori put it into words, and Olivia wished at that moment that Fiyori followed the old saying, 'Speak no ill of the dead.' Then again, from what Georgia Lee told her, Fiyori didn't really follow old sayings like that much often, now did she?

Then again, should she really have listened to what Georgia Lee had to say?

She pinched herself at that thought. Hated herself. It was true, yes, but speak no ill, think no ill of the dead. No matter what masks they wore on the island, no matter what aliens hid beneath those masks, speak no ill, think no ill.

Because if you think any ill, you'll kill the last remnant of them you have. Because you don't always have sweaters to keep in your backpack to remind yourselves of them, all you have are thoughts, figments flitting through your mind. You mustn't stain them.

And Fiyori was wrong about one thing. Up until that conversation, they hadn't talked a word about Fiyori. They'd talked about school, what things needed to be the done for the day, jokes, nothing, yes, and maybe they'd talked trashed about a bunch of their classmates. Not Fiyori, though. Not a word.

She looked over behind Fiyori and saw the door was closed. Her heart beat a little faster. She only had a lobotomy pick, and it was in the other room, with her bag, with Enzo and Coleen. So, if things were to happen... no, the only things that would happen would be Olivia getting answers. Getting fragments. Don't panic.

"Wait. What were her last words?"
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
It felt good hearing those words, but at the same time, it felt incomplete. Like reading the last line of a poem, watching some memorable clip from a TV show.

"Good reasons for what?"

And then Fiyori looked at her. And Olivia hadn't taken her eyes off Fiyori for the past minute or so. She'd been trying to read it, really, but all she got was indifference. And then Fiyori reach into her bag, and Olivia's breath caught in her throat. She was blocking the exit. She couldn't run out if she needed to, she had no pick, no weapon, no company, and deep breaths, deep breaths. Just a water bottle. Heh. A water bottle. That's what started all this, right? She spilled her water, so she ran out, ran into Bernadette, ran out again, then ran into the cafeteria door. And met Fiyori and Georgia Lee. Yeah, just a water bottle.

And right, Fiyori had a question for her this time. Fair enough. The question hurt, but a lot of things hurt these days. No, this one hurt a lot more than the other things.

"Fuck," she mumbled.

Her eyes were welling up.

"Just some cards." She laughed to herself. "I'm not joking. I'd been, I'd been freaking out because my friend died. It was, it was on the announcements. Her name was Irene. And uh, I'd been breaking down, and she, Georgia Lee, she asks me if I want to do anything with my life. And I- I love cards, and watches, and the terrorists had taken that from me. So, I tell her I want to look for those. And, uh, fuck-" and her voice breaks, and she takes a deep breaths, wipes her eyes, "-and we leave. We leave, go to the library, and I never find them. I got some stupid Ezra Pound book out of it, but I never found anything, and we slept there, and next thing we know, these people are killing each other in the cafeteria. So, we leave, go to the staff lounge, around here."

And then Georgia Lee dies. Because Blair shot her.

Because of some stupid book. Some book, a watch, and some cards.

She pinches herself again. She wipes her eyes again.

"And yeah. Good reasons for what?"
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
Good reasons for everything, huh? That made sense. Lined up with their conversation at the library. What had she said back then? Good enough, huh? Yeah. Olivia felt satisfied, she guessed. Fiyori could stop now.

But she didn't though. Olivia glared at Fiyori as she ranted and stop it, as she disregarded old sayings, spoke ill of the dead, ruined, tarnished, stepped on the thought of Georgia Lee, and she cared about Olivia, Georgia Lee cared, and she didn't use her and she cared about her cards and she accepted her let her stay in the cafeteria let her keep her weapon and she cared and stop it, stop it, "stop it stop it stop it stop it!"

And then Fiyori stopped of her own volition, and it was Olivia's turn. And she spoke with wide eyes, and she glared back at Fiyori.

"God, yes, I'm mourning, and yes, she, she cared! She did! Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for what Georgia Lee did to you, I am, but I didn't know, I swear." And she did know, but Fiyori didn't need to know that, didn't deserve to know. "I mean, wow, that would be, uh, that would be some great strategy, to stay with some girl without any weapon for, what, t-two, three days, talk nothing, do nothing, just to get shot by, uh, shot by some girl who didn't even have the decency to stay? Some hit-and-run?" Deep breaths. Wipe the spit from your mouth. Don't break. "G-god, she could've left me for some more useful ally, someone who wasn't dead weight, but she didn't, Georgia Lee stayed, she stayed! She cared enough to stay!"

And she took slowing breaths, and she felt drained.

"And that was good enough for me."

And it was enough, the answers were enough, this conversation was enough, but Fiyori was still in the way. She was still in the way, and she wouldn't move.
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
Fiyori was taking her time. There was a lump in Olivia's throat, and she couldn't swallow it. A lump and a fast heart. She was taking her time, searching through her bag, and for what? another water bottle? and that look, the way her face bent, had she messed up? The last time she'd told someone to stop it, to shut up, it was Hannah, back at the cove, and she'd stayed, she'd stayed until all of a sudden, she left, and she didn't know what Fiyori would do.

"I'm sorry, can you move-"

and then her ears exploded and

"You- fuck!"

and she grabbed her stomach and she fell to the floor and that wasn't what Fiyori was supposed to do and this wasn't what was supposed to happen
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
and like Blair she didn't come back she just ran and ran out and didn't stay and she shouted 'COME BACK HERE' like before, expect it was 'come back here', it was a ragged whisper only she could hear and it only mattered to her. And god this was so unfair how everything cost her so dearly, a freakout Irene and Hannah's company, a book Georgia Lee's life, an answer hers, why couldn't things cost a dollar or ten or a hundred, why did they have to cost her and everyone she loved everything, why did everything take so much effort

like keeping herself together, before it was something you took for granted, like your lungs breathing and your blood pumping and your brain thinking, but now she lay on the ground and held on and on and on to her stomach, and she felt herself coming apart at the seams no matter how much she held on, no matter how much she grabbed, and this wasn't fair and 'Fiyori come back here Coleen, Enzo, Fiyori come back', only whispers that Fiyori didn't seem to hear, but now she heard shouting, small mercies, and maybe Coleen and Enzo heard her shouting
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
and they came back, Coleen and Enzo, and there they were, standing over her, almost scratching their heads and shrugging their shoulders because what now? What to do for the dead girl?

"I.. I don't know."

And it was really, really sinking in now that she was the dead girl, she was the next name on the announcements, she was the next corpse you'd pass by in the hallways, the next sight to avoid and turn your head at, the next person to enter your nose and enter you and become you, and God how she'd longed to fit in back in elementary school, middle school, high school, just fit in and be normal and be like everyone else, and now she'd be like everyone else, rotting, decaying, she'd be like everyone else, and this wasn't how she'd planned on fitting in, so she chuckled and chuckled and then coughed red onto her chest.

And then she'd be the next Abby, and people would stumble upon her corpse and they'd see her and smell her and they'd scream and run and they'd see her face every time they blink, in their nights under closed eyes, they'd see her, and she'd never leave, never ever until they die, and no no no

no

she did not wish to inhabit Coleen and Enzo's minds for the rest of forever, long or short that forever may be, she did not wish to haunt them, stay with them, not that way, no. And look, there they were, standing over her, and their eyes looking at her, pitying the dead girl, and when she looked at them, she knew that, no matter how god oh god she wished that they could put her back together, wrap bandage after bandage after bandage until she stopped leaking until she felt like a broken vase put together with tape or glue, no matter how much she wished for them to do that, no amount of tape or glue would ever keep her together, and there was no sense in their being there, so just rip the bandage off, throw it in the corner, let her bleed and

"Leave. Please leave," she said in as strong a voice as she could muster.
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
Fight through what? The way her eyes blur for a second every time she blinks? The way her stomach screams every time she breathes? The way her eyes pulse every time she tries to look at Enzo? At Coleen?

"No. I'm- I'm sorry, Enzo. I c- I can't- you can't do anything." Deep breaths again. Every word felt like a mile. "Just, uh just- just look." And then she looked down at herself, at all the red blooming from her stomach. "I don't want to- I don't..." don't want to hurt you, she thought she said as she stared into the distance past Enzo, past Coleen, past the ceiling, as her eyes blurred once more. And the ceiling turned into this gray ocean, grayer than the one she woke up to all those days ago in that cave, and if she ignored the smoothness of the floor and the windows and the anatomy posters and the people who couldn't heal her in this doctor's office, if she ignored all that, she could pretend she was back at the cove, just laying there, laying as the tide washed over her and rocked her to and fro to and fro like a paper boat a paper boat pierced with holes. bullet holes. and she was being rocked in the cove, and she never hurt anyone, never met Irene and Hannah so she never scared them off, never abandoned Bernadette, never dragged Georgia Lee out for a book, never slept on her, and now never hurt Coleen and Enzo just by being here, she'd avoided all of that just by staying in one place and was that so hard? Was that so hard to do? No it wasn't and wasn't that a wise decision you made just by staying in your cave

in your concrete cave

and then her eyes focused again and Enzo was still there, staring at her. Expecting that something could change. And wasn't that cute?

"Th-thank you, thank you, Enzo. But, please-" and she grabbed onto Enzo one last time, held onto her one last time- "leave."
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
[ *  *  * ]
and so they stepped out of view and now Olivia would no longer inhabit their minds and that made Olivia smile a little. and so she had one less sin to account for, one less wrongdoing upon her friends. and her eyes blurred out again, and it felt so so cold like the sea washing over her robbing her of her warmth sapping it out, and she felt herself rock again sway again like the paper boat she was, and where would she go? where would the sea bring her?

where did she deserve to go? where did souls like hers go? her great-uncle's soul she knew where it went. it went up above far far up in the sky into heaven. it went up there, she knew it, because mom and dad had said that he was a good man and good men deserved to go up there. and- and they'd prayed. prayed for his soul. and there was this man, this man in a suit whose main job main thing to do was pray and he was wearing a suit and he shouted words of god and then he said quietly nice words about her great-uncle good words about him and Olivia remembered that it made dad and mom feel a little better cry a little less. and all she could do was hope that mom and dad were watching or at least thinking her thinking about her praying for her praying those nice words good words, and now she remembered a bit of what the man in a suit said, and she guessed it went something like

"Our father, who- who is, who art, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth..."

and then she paused a minute to think about the next word, but by the time she remembered, she could not speak anymore, but it did not matter because the thought counts, right? it has to count because it's all she had left, no word no breath no movement no vision and, and

thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who trespass us. and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

and

and

forgive me for my sins lord

oh lord forgive me for disobeying my mother and my father, for going on the trip without her permission

oh lord forgive me for leaving georgia lee behind. forgive me for scaring off irene and hannah

and forgive me for leaving coleen and enzo behind for hurting them like this

and forgive me if i have forgotten anything i must be forgiven for

forgive me for cursing

forgive me for

forgive me for

oh lord forgive me

oh lord

oh lord oh lord oh lord oh lord

G062: OLIVIA FISCHER: DECEASED

36 STUDENTS REMAINING
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

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