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Paradies Naiv; [PRIVATE] [Content Warning: Gore, Pretentious Artsy Bullshit]
Topic Started: Mar 10 2017, 08:30 AM (570 Views)
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((Lily Caldwell continued from The World's an Ugly Place, but I'm Still Afraid to Die.))

Lily concurred with Isabel far too much in this scenario to be comfortable with.

Granted, the ‘goddammit’ was something that Lily felt likely for different reasons. But… what was this new girl even doing? When Isabel was the person making the most sense, there was something horrendously wrong.

Why would anyone be happy to see Isabel? Unless they were just as cracked as she was.

Lily took a step back, her expression that of wary confusion.

This was not going to go well either way. Either the new girl was planning something—maybe getting Isabel off-guard or just hoping if she was friendly that Isabel would leave her be—or she really was happy to see Isabel, and… and what would that mean? Maybe it would mean Isabel deciding that this new girl was a better, more trustworthy limb than Lily was.

The thought was unsettling.

Lily tightened her grip on the strap of her bag, watching silently.
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Lily stayed still as a statue for most of this. As if just becoming part of the background would make everything fine.

Honestly, it seemed to be working so far. The tension had gone up for a while, mostly because Isabel didn’t understand what Lucilly was doing—and there was a bit of awkwardness in that Lily hadn’t remembered her name until now, and couldn’t exactly remember when they’d met—but all Lily could say in defence of Isabel—wait, why would she want to speak in defence of Isabel—was that Lucilly was acting weird.

But wanting to spend her last moments not hating and being hated? Lily could understand that. All she had to do was close her eyes and see Lizzie carved on the inside of her eyelids to understand that. Of course Isabel didn’t. She probably thought being hated was proof of her power or something ridiculous.

Didn’t matter, she supposed, if the end result was the same.

And then Lucilly had to do that.
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Lily could have done something. There was her chance. Her chance to get rid of Isabel, perhaps. If she lunged in at that moment when Isabel was off-balance…

But she didn’t. She was weak. She was cowardly. She was a speck who’d survived on virtue of being not worth killing. As usual, she just watched.

Well, she watched some of it. She covered her eyes a few times, especially when Isabel’s hands went in to grab the guts. It didn’t help. If anything it made it worse, because disembowelment smelt worse than any smell she’d ever experienced. It was better to watch, in some ways, than it was to just listen and smell.

It wasn’t really the guts that perturbed Lily. Of course, that was awful to see. But she’d seen Conrad’s body. She’d seen the corpses strewn across the island. One bit of flesh was the same as another at this stage. No, what got to her, what really made the bile rise in her throat, was how Lucilly tried to scoop the guts back in. Like it would help. It was the little things, like the blood and vomit mingling together.

Isabel was laughing. Taunting. She was happy.

How?

And amid all the disgust and horror there was… there was something else. Something that burned, something that nonetheless wasn’t rage. It was too… too similar to nausea for that.

Lucilly stopped screaming. And it was about that point that Lily identified what the feeling was.

Lily turned around and took a few steps away, hand covering her mouth. She stopped, looking at the view. At the ocean in the distance, oddly peaceful, while squelches reached her ears and the smell of copper and shit invaded her nostrils.

The feeling wasn’t rage. Nor disgust. Nor hate.

When she’d looked at Isabel, what she’d felt was envy.
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Lily heard Isabel and took a moment to really register it. When she did, she did so without a word. Walking over to Lucilly’s bag and crouching nearby it.

She didn’t check the contents throughly. She opened it long enough to see if there had been a weapon in there. There hadn’t been—she supposed Lucilly would have been holding it if she was, but then again the girl hadn’t seemed all there to begin with. She shut the bag, then just picked it up and slung the strap over her shoulder. She’d never fit the contents into her tiny little school bag, and her assigned bag was still buried on the shoreline.

The sudden weight made her uncomfortable, but it wasn’t as if she was running anyway.

Lily looked at Lucilly. She was definitely dead by now, that was certain. Probably for the best, considering the damage done to her. Her guts were still exposed to the air. Lily didn’t immediately look away.

She stared at the guts for a few moments, then reached out slowly. Wondering if it was really so easy just to grab someone’s innards like that. Her hand froze halfway, however, and Lily slowly retracted it.

She turned away, straightening up and heading towards the stairwell when Isabel called.

((Lily Caldwell continued in Die Anywhere Else.))
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