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With Blood and Rage of Crimson Red, Ripped From A Corpse So Freshly Dead
Topic Started: Feb 28 2017, 03:14 PM (575 Views)
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
((Ty Yazzie continued From Lay My Purple On The Grass))

His first thought was to search the depot for her. It was the only lead he had, the last place he was sure he'd seen her before charging off. Everything after that was suspect, he just couldn't fucking remember through that red haze, but here? He knew she was here at some point. If he was lucky, she still would be.

Ty didn't get lucky. This place just kept rubbing that in his face every chance he got. There were no signs of her anywhere, near as he could tell, and that anger was building up again. It turned inwards this time, kicking and biting and scratching at every failure it could get its hands on. He'd fucked up. He'd really, really fucked up. He shoulda known she was off the deep end with the way she kept staring at the waves and clamming up, but he'd only thought about himself. If Bee was here, she'd...

But she wasn't. She wasn't, and Harry wasn't, and Clarice wasn't, and now Lizzie wasn't, and he wouldn't be surprised to turn around and find that Keith wasn't either. Everybody, goddamn everybody, that he touched only managed to get driven away or get fucked up. Probably both in the end. There was some small voice in the back of his head urging him to calm down and try to salvage this. There was still time. Somebody could be help.

Ty didn't have an ounce of that kinda charity left in him. He was far out now among the outcroppings and into the soft sand. Against his will he started to sink down to his knees on it. His head lolled up to stare at the sky with that all too familiar feeling of long denied tears welling up inside him.

But Ty didn't cry. Instead he poured everything into a roaring, broken scream.
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Shoulda jerked his head up to see who was talking. It could have been anybody, up to anything, and he was in the perfect position to get popped off. Honestly though, right at this moment he didn't care. Some part of him would have welcomed it. He was quiet for a moment or two in response, just staring at the sky. "Nah," he finally rasped out, "can't say I am."

Ty had always been protective. First it was a sort of selfish protection, always focused on making sure he didn't get hurt anymore, keeping everybody else away from him. Over time between Atsa and Mom and Bee, hell, even just friends like Asha and Harry, he'd managed to get his shit together. Last year or so of taking care of the family had put this crazy image in this head of himself as a provider. There was this whole life mapped out before him. He'd help Atsa find a job, maybe even get him off to school somewhere close were he could come for help any time things got overwhelming again. He'd watch over mom and the old man if they got any worse, like a good son was supposed to. He'd help Marcus get back on his feet and mend fences to start his life over. He'd ask Bee to marry him and be the happiest goddamn man alive when she said yes.

Gone. Every last scrap of it. If the last few days had made anything crystal clear, it was that Ty wasn't some hero, or protector, or provider. He was just as much of a fuck-up as ever, and damn near everyone that mattered to him here was dead because of it.
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For some reason, that's what pulled Ty up and made him chuckle. Keith? Dangerous? Maybe to himself. Ty shook his head and looked down from the sky. "Nah. Keith's a pussycat. Guarantee he's more afraid of you than you are of him." He couldn't picture any situation where that wasn't true. Keith just didn't catch him as a fighter.

Ty bent over with his hands to the ground to help him get up. Goddamn the sand digging into his knees stung. At least it could distract him a little. After all that running and screaming some of the raw anger had managed to die down, and he just felt fucking empty. There wasn't much in his tank to start with and he'd just burned a good chunk of it on pissing in the wind. Seemed about right given the circumstances.

He gave his neck a couple of sharp cracks before turning to at the girl he'd been talking to for the first time. If he was still all worked up he might have freaked out over the gun, but given their chat he wasn't too worried. If she wanted to shoot him, she had plenty of chances. Right now it just looked like she was protecting herself, and he couldn't blame her for that. There was even a long shot she might be able to help him.

When Keith wandered over, Ty gave him a nod. "Hey," he said before pausing with his mouth half-open for a couple beats. "Sorry." The apology came out more hesitant than he'd meant it, but that was all he was getting right now. They had something more important to look into than whatever spooked feelings the kid might have. He turned to the girl with the gun. "Any chance you've seen another girl running around her nearby? Name's Lizzie, blonde hair, green eyes, 'bout my height?" He knew that the chances weren't great, but fuck, he'd take anything at this point. Just something to reassure him that she was alive and okay and he hadn't fucked up too bad for once in this place.
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For a few moments, Ty just stared. Breathed real heavy, in and out, his eyes never leaving hers. Even from the outside it'd look pretty clear that he was doing just about everything he could to hold back.

After those tense beats passed, he let out a slow, steadying breath. "I'm gonna need two things from ya." He realized he didn't know her name, and he didn't care right now. "I'm gonna need you to tell me what she said, and I'm gonna need you to tell me what happened."

The way she phrased it made it sound almost like Lizzie had just given in and offed herself. There'd been some sign of that back at the docks, the way she stared at them damn waves. That was too hard for him to accept on coy little hints, though. If he was gonna give into that, he wanted to hear that that was exactly how it went down. If it was true, then his anger had nowhere to go. If there was more to it than that though...well. Simple fact of it was somebody out there was gonna make what he did to Conrad look like mercy. Revenge was the only thing he had left.
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The impulse was there. It wasn't even her fucking fault, but it was still there. His anger just wanted to go somewhere, to actually accomplish something for once in this hell hole. He almost took a swing at her right there. There was that same familiar tension right before he made one more shitty decision, but there was a weight on his shoulder. The same one that had been there every time he'd tried to do something stupid these last few months. Even when she wasn't around he could feel Bee's hand on him reminding him that he had a choice. Demanding that he be a better man. He could almost see her when he glanced over his shoulder, those concerned eyes that both told him he was making a mistake and assured him that everything was gonna be okay all at the same time. It was comforting. It was also heartbreaking. As crazy as it was he couldn't help but feel like if Bee was here, this whole damn thing would make a lot more sense.

But she was really gone. He'd never even gotten to see her after they woke up here. All he had was the memory of her and that little blue ring on a chain around his neck. Having that boil up on him now seemed almost felt like having his failures thrown right in his face.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't goddamn fair that good people kept dying while all the fucking monsters like Isabel and Brendan and whoever the fuck else just kept killing. He could feel that weight on him again as his anger hooked into that line of reasoning, but for the first time he resisted it. It was too important to hate them. His eyes locked in on the girl's once he'd gathered himself. "I'm guessin' you don't really use that thing." Ty tried to speak nice and slow to keep himself calm. "So I'm just gonna ask you which way they went."

Keith was in a bad way. Sounded like he was near hyperventilating. Maybe it was the first time he'd really lost someone here. Right now, Ty was having a hard time finding any sympathy for him. There wasn't any time to slow down and coddle the coward. Isabel and Lily probably already had a hell of a lead on him.
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Paige/EP/Plush, they/them pronouns pls thanks :3
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Ty was ready to walk, whether anyone was coming with him or not. Just as he was about to march off, though, she got his attention again. His hand went up to clasp his lantern ring as he turned around with a curious look on her face. Why was she asking about that? Did she know Bee? "Nah," he started slowly, "Hers is...I got her that violet one, that was her favorite..." He choked up a little as he spoke. Was. Not is. Not anymore. His hand drifted from the ring to the his left breast, resting over their tattoo under his shirt. The goofy part of him always had this idea that when he proposed to her, he'd sneak her ring off for a day or so before and do it with that. Of course he'd save up and get her a real ring, he wasn't that stupid, but something about surprising her with it again...it just felt right.

"You know her?" It was getting harder to talk now. He could remember it all so vividly. The way she'd scooted up against him, that shy sweetness as she explained what'd he'd done for her, a few soft words. Guess the emotion time. Their first kiss. The first time she'd told him she loved him. All wrapped up in that little plastic ring that he could only imagine was with her somewhere. She'd given it all back to him when she surprised him with the one around his neck too. It wasn't just that she loved him. She believed in him, even when she had to talk him down. She'd made him believe too, filled him up with this hope that he could be a better man and they might actually pull off something great together.

Love and hope. That's what they'd always meant for each other.

He wasn't even gonna be able to see her body, was he?

That was it. That was his breaking point. For the first time since he'd woken up in this goddamn nightmare, Ty started to cry.
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Paige/EP/Plush, they/them pronouns pls thanks :3
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((Skipping to leave thread with permission))

Ty didn't have any reason to think she was fooling him. It all sounded so much like Bee. Always looking out for everybody else no matter what she was dealing with, even here. He'd have given anything to be by her side for these last few days. Instead he was off feeling like shit and chasing his demons. It wasn't the first time he'd thought about it, but it was the first time he had an out other than letting the rage push him on or letting the sadness swallow him up. She'd give him a location.

She'd given him hope.

The tears kept coming as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. They were bittersweet now though. Just a minute ago he was fit to collapse again, but he'd caught on to forward momentum for something other than blind hate. He had no clue what he was gonna do when he found her, but...he was gonna do something. Even if it was just talk to her for a little bit. God did he need that.

After what she'd just given him, it didn't seem like there was an easy way to tell her he didn't even know her name. He wanted to thank her somehow, or that he'd never thought he'd see her again. Ty was never good at that sorta thing. Instead he gave her a nod. Smiled just a little bit before he swallowed again. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I mean that. Here's hopin' to see you around." With that, he started to walk away. His gaze drifted backward to Keith. "I know where I'm headed. You can come along if you want."

They were on the move again. Only for the first time since he'd woke up, he had a clear purpose and destination. His eyes weren't half-shut with fatigue or darting around to jump at every shadow. It didn't feel like his body was about to fall apart either from the ache or from the anger or both. He walked with the confidence that he was going to do one goddamn thing right in this place before his ticket got punched. Even if it killed him.

((Ty Yazzie Continued In Accept Our Ring and Join Our Fight))
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