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Think About Your Life; The morning of Day 4, just after announcements
Topic Started: Jan 11 2017, 05:46 PM (1,071 Views)
Primrosette
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((Brendan Harte continued from How Can I Take Off This Mask?))

Back at this place again, Brendan. Did you make the right choice?

Brendan had managed to make his way towards the cliff with Alba following closely behind him. They had made their way over there to rest and plan on what to do next. He thought that they could possibly head to the radio tower to see if Jonathan and Candice were both there and he wanted to know if they were both safe. He felt foolish for running out on them and he was going to owe the both of them an apology.

He felt like the cliff was beckoning him towards it. He strangely felt at peace when he could staring off into the distance. He felt like he would be in a different world. However, he knew that everything happening around him was a horrid reality and he knew that there was a slim chance that an escape plan would work. Even if he didn't voice it to the others. On the inside, he believed that everyone was going to die just for one person to go home. That person would be a victim as well. Everybody was a victim....

Brendan gritted his teeth and he gripped onto the grenade launcher a bit more tightly. He wondered if he could try to keep Alba safe. He didn't want anything bad happen to her. If he lost her.... He didn't know what he would do.

Brendan stopped walking and he squinted towards the figures that were a bit farther on the cliff in front of him and Alba. Who were those three people? He couldn't really see them clear-

He felt his heart skip a beat.

No way....

Bernadette. His best friend! She was there. That was great! He felt relieved and happy to see that she was alive. He had finally found another friend!

"Bern- Bernadette!! It's me, Brendan!" He yelled loudly with a small smile as he broke out into a run towards her and the two other people. "T-Thank god, you're safe! I was worried about you."
Edited by Primrosette, Jan 19 2017, 09:04 AM.
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Primrosette
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Brendan's smile froze on his face. It felt like Bernadette had just punched him in the gut and the chest. It felt like she just took a jab at what he done. To Jerry. He got that what he did was the wrong thing. He knew that all too well. He didn't need to be reminded about what a horrible human being he was. He knew that deep inside of his thoughts. At the time, he had thought he was doing the right thing by saving someone. He knew that he should have done things differently. He could have tried to talk to Jerry and Michael and hoped that he could have defused the situation. But he had made his choice. He reacted and things just took a turn for the worse.

It's too late to change things now, Brendan.

His smile had faded now. He had been so happy to see that Bernadette was safe. But his moment of joy was disappearing from him. Now things were starting to make him feel uncomfortable and uneasy. He guessed that Bernadette wasn't thinking of him being her friend anymore. Maybe she saw him for who he was now.

....A murderer.

Brendan lowered the grenade launcher and he placed it down on the ground. He didn't want to hold it anymore. He had hated having it with him. He didn't even know how to use it. He never wanted to use it on anyone. He had Jerry's sharpened stick sticking out of his bag. He felt better with for some odd reason.

"B-Bernadette...."

He paused for a moment, trying to think of what to say to her. Would she be less upset if he just told her what happened on that day? Why he had killed Jerry? Or would she be more mad at him?

"....About Jerry. He and Michael were taunting and threatening to kill a girl. I'm not even sure who the girl was but.... But I had to do something!" His voice was suddenly a bit more louder than he thought and he cleared his throat nervously. "I was just trying to do the right thing.... I thought I was. I can't get over what I did to him. I can still see Jerry's face in my head. I should have done things a different way. I just.... reacted to take action."
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Oh god no. The reward.... You didn't even want it, Brendan. Now she really thinks you're a terrible human being.

Brendan knew that he was feeling a bit panicky. He knew that Bernadette wasn't trying to provoke him on purpose. She was just trying to make a point. He hadn't even wanted the so-called reward in the first place. Jonathan had told him to get it and he just did as he was told. He had tried to get rid of it but no one else wanted it. Alba even gave the weapon back to him when he dropped it. Right now, he just wanted to kick it away from him. He was starting to hate himself for even getting it in the first place.

But what if someone else got their hands on it? Someone who was willing to kill with it? Be it a killer or a would-be killer?

Even he didn't want to take that risk. He felt like it would have been his fault if someone had been killed by the weapon if he hadn't had got it himself. Besides, it hadn't been used. And he was never going to. He didn't want to hurt anyone again.

"B-Bernadette, please, I...."

He took a step closer to her and he reached out a hand towards her. He didn't touch her. He wanted to try to get her to understand. But how?

He didn't really know what to say to her. But he had to try. Convince her that she could trust him. That he wasn't just some low-life murderer and that he was still her friend. That he could protect her if she wanted him to.

"....I didn't even want the weapon. Believe me, Bernadette. I had to get it because I couldn't let anyone else get their hands on it. I couldn't take that risk and Jonathan convinced me that it would be better if I had it on me." He took a step over his weapon so that he was closer to her and he stopped just in front of her. He had to look down at her as he was towering over her and he bit down on his lower lip a little. He just needed to not mess this up. "I won't even use that thing. I hate holding it but I don't have a choice. I don't want to hurt anyone else, Bernadette. You believe me, don't you?"

Brendan realized that he was starting to sound desperate. But he didn't care. He just didn't want to lose his best friend because of what he did.

She will abandon you, Brendan....
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See, see, see? There you go, Brendan. Abandoning you.... Bernadette doesn't like you anymore. She hates you. Hates your guts. And you deserve it. You know that. Right?

......

Brendan could feel that his hands were shaking. This wasn't what he thought would happen. Yes, he knew that she would be upset. But he never thought that she would try to push him away. This was wrong. He wasn't going to leave. He was starting to feel upset himself. She was talking to him like he was a child. He didn't appreciate that one bit.

Make her pay, Brendan. Just a little. Just to scare her.

Now he was thinking like a child. But he didn't care. He hated getting into fights. He hated that Bernadette never knew about his feelings for her. But that didn't matter at the moment. All he could want to do was.... was....

.....

Just do it, Brendan. She will be fine. You won't hurt her....

"S-Shut up!" He snapped at her out of a blinded rage. He felt like something had finally snapped inside of him. Everything was just too much for him to handle. He didn't even hold back. He was feeling too mad to think about what he was about to do.

Then he give Bernadette a hard shove with his hands that were no longer shaking.
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Brendan blinked and he stared down at Bernadette on the ground. She wasn't moving at all. Did he shove her a little too hard? What was he thinking? Why the hell would he do that to his former crush? Ty would possibly lose it if he saw that Brendan had done this to Bernadette. He shouldn't have lost his temper like that in the first place. He shouldn't have took it out on her.

He should at least help her up to her feet and apologize to her afterwards. Then he would leave if she didn't want him to be around and he would make sure that Alba would go with him. That was the better thing to do. He had to at least go on terms that weren't too tense between him and Bernadette.

He moved closer to where Bernadette was laying and he knelt down on one knee beside her. He really felt like a complete idiot for putting his hands on her like that. He wasn't doing a good job on not hurting anyone.

"Bernadette? I...."

He paused for a few seconds. Something wasn't right about this. Why wasn't Bernadette making an attempt to move? Why did it look like she wasn't breathing? Why did this look so.... wrong?

"B-Bernadette....?" He was becoming more alarmed and he had a bad feeling deep in his heart. Had he accidentally knocked her unconscious? Or...?

No.....

"T-This isn't funny, Bern-Bernadette...." He gulped out of nervousness and fear over what he had just done to to his best friend.

He let out a shaky breath as he moved his hand gently behind Bernadette's head to lift it up a little and then his breathing got a bit funny. He could feel something sticky on the back of Bernadette's head. He drew back his hand and he stared at it, not believing what he was really seeing.

Red....

Bernadette's blood....

No, no, no...!

He moved Bernadette over a little and he saw what her head had connected with. A rock.... A bloody rock. Which had Bernadette's blood on it. If only he hadn't had pushed her.

"B-Bernadette, please wake up! Please!"

He was getting desperate and he choked back a sob. Don't cry. She's going to be fine. Bernadette was going to wake up and tell him not to worry about her. That everything was going to be okay.

He was shaking her slightly. He then tried to check for a pulse. Nothing. Tried to check for breathing. Nothing there either.

"B-B-Bern....."

He felt something wet on his face. He was starting to cry. He was realising that Bernadette was not okay. She was never going to be okay.

Bernadette is gone, Brendan. And it's all your fault....

He pulled Bernadette's limp body closer to his and he just held her against his chest. He let out some despairing sobs and he was angry at himself. He had just killed his best friend and there was nothing that he could do about it. She was never coming back.

".....I-I.... I'm so, so s-s-sorry....."
Edited by Primrosette, Jan 21 2017, 01:54 PM.
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Brendan heard the gun going off. He didn't react at first as he was mourning over Bernadette's body and he knew that he had to stop crying. He couldn't act like this anymore. He just killed Bernadette and there was nothing he could do about it. Jerry and Bernadette had been taken away by him. He was the lowest of the low. He couldn't let Alba feel sorry for him. She deserved to live, he didn't.

Brendan placed Bernadette down gently and he looked at her for a few more seconds. He had to accept that he was nothing but a piece of trash. Bernadette had deserved better than this. Jerry possibly deserved better as well. And he had robbed them of their chances to survive this. He had been so selfish and tried to be the hero that he was never meant to be.

You have to accept what you are, Brendan. You're nothing but a murderer....

He got back up to his feet slowly. He wasn't crying anymore. He was too tired to continue to cry. He had to leave. Like Coleen and Arthur wanted him to. He had wanted Coleen to shoot him. He wanted to die. He hated himself for what he did and he felt sick to his stomach. But he had to see someone first. He wanted to find Jonathan and Candice. Just to make sure that they were safe.

"...."

He didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything to change Coleen and Arthur's minds about him. He just walked over to where he had dropped the grenade launcher and he gave Alba a weak smile. Was she going to follow him? He didn't know. That was her choice.

He then left.

((Brendan Harte continued in El angel exterminador ))
Edited by Primrosette, Feb 2 2017, 09:30 AM.
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