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Restore/Restart/Quit; Open
Topic Started: Dec 17 2016, 07:52 PM (503 Views)
Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
((Alan Banks continued from Elapsam Semel Occasionem Non Ipse Potest Iuppiter Reprehendere))

Alan's shadow looked ominous on the wall, the silhouette of a metal pipe swinging back and forth in his hands.

Oh my well would you just look at the time.

For those not in on the joke, it was lunchtime. Geddit? And the big, bad wolf was hungry as fuck and ready to lock you up in your little tower and there wasn't no fucking fairy godmother to save you. Yeah, Alan was conflating his villains together. That was the point. He was an amalgamation, a mash-up, every fairy-tale villain combined until he had become some platonic ideal of villainy.

Cuz guess what? He was really fucking good at playing this role. And it was hella fun.

You keep telling yourself that, Alan. Maybe someday you'd actually live up to your bark and do something.

So he ends up going to the asylum, because of course he does. That's where you go if you're psycho, and that's where the psychos go to do their psycho stuff. It's like, y'know. Just how the scene's supposed to look. And he'd be damned if the scene doesn't look right.

Platonic ideal. Yeah.

So when he hears a couple voices from inside one of the therapy rooms, he doesn't just go in and attack them. He needs to get a good monologue in. A motive rant. A-- something.

"My, would you look at all these spare souls just sitting around. And here I thought I'd just been sent to collect the one."

It would've been nice to have a scythe or something. Even if he didn't care about the effect it would have, he was still...less than well-armed. But if this turned out bad, he always had the option of pretending it was macabre humor or something. Just a coping mechanism. Which come to think of it, this was.

What was it they said? Villains always lose in the end? So what if the narrative was against him? Alan didn't fucking care. If he was gonna die, he was gonna have the time of his life before he bit it.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
"Mmm. But this all looks so very interesting."

The words didn't come naturally, though they were easy enough to come up with. It wasn't easy to make them good, mind. Alan was a work in progress on that front. But, well. Saying stuff that terrified the shit out of them regardless of how lame it was? That was easy enough.

Yeah, he was totally terrifying to a bunch of unarmed teenage girls. Ooh, scary. Such a boogeyman, that Alan.

He was tempted to just cut the chit-chat and go straight for it. He'd never done something like this before, obviously. Was kind of impatient to try it out. But he needed to practice doing the witty banter thing for next time. So.

Alan rolled his eyes. Planted the end of the pipe in the ground. "Okay, fine. I'll admit it, I'm just a psychopomp in training. So, uh. Tell you what. Help me out with playing the role right, striking the right image, and I'll give you a..."

He shrugged.

"20 second head start. Do it really well, I might just let you go, if that gives you an incentive to not fuck up. Or should I give you a stick too? I guess it goes without saying that the crazy guy with a pipe attacks the second you start pissing him off."

Not exactly the greatest intimidation speech. But I guess that's just how it goes.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
So...what you're supposed to do here is clobber the one in front of you, torture her until her screams draw the other one in and...fuck, he didn't have time to think this through. For now it's simple. Boot plus butt, or whatever. Right?

Alan didn't really have any kind of fighting style worked out. Hadn't had the time to figure out what kind of approach would best fit him, or to learn it. So he does the first thing that comes to mind.

One swing upward with the pipe. Followed up with a kick to the crotch.

Figures that he's the kind to fight dirty.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
And then Alan was on his back. It'll take him a second to get his bearings.

He swung the pipe around wildly, bringing it down on his own leg. Stupid of him. Epic fail. Heh. Epic flail.

Alan was good at thinking on his feet, but apparently this didn't translate very well to, like, a real fight. What does he lack? Why is he having this conversation in his head instead of, like, fighting?

That's simple. He doesn't rely on his instincts.

Alan let his mind blank out. Grabbed the hand clutching his shirt and brought it up to his mouth. Was he fighting dirty? Who the hell ever said anything about fighting dirty? He's being an animal, plain and simple, and animals bite.

Okay, so he's not that much an animal yet. But he didn't need to be, didn't want to be. A couple seconds of brutality, and then he can go back to civilized...sinister-ness? Something like that.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
And...she's gone. Motherfucker. Get back here, dammit. Show some sense of priorities. You're gonna die anyways. Why shouldn't your death be memorable and grandiose?

Did he not impress her enough?

Heh. Yeah. Even he can't take his own thoughts seriously. Way to go, Alan. You set out to be all operatic and now you're a joke even to yourself. Go fuck yourself.

That feel better now? No? Well, that's okay. The villain always loses, after all. And Alan's okay with that. Just give him his place in the sun. Just give him a time to shine, fifteen minutes to bask in the glory of...gloriousness, and everything will be okay.

Alan out.

((Alan Banks continued elsewhere))

Edited by Zetsumodernista, Jan 25 2017, 03:59 PM.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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