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Unlikely Salt And Pepper
Topic Started: Dec 3 2016, 08:46 PM (283 Views)
ToxieTheToxicAvenger
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(( Michael Crowe continued from Devil's Choir ))

This whole fuckin' thing was getting way out of hand. It's like every motherfucker gets a free talk shit without gettin' hit card because they got lucky with their bags. Shit really needed to be done about it. The fuckin' irony of this island being a funny farm. The inmates run the asylum now, and they've forgotten the way things work.

All the scum suckers got the good shit. Guns, swords, groups. Shit, at this point it seemed like there were more freaks than normal people around here. Like how many of them were left now? Seventy or eighty? Like ten of them have been going around murdering everyone, so that meant like a seventh or an eighth were murderers. Those ain't good odds for anyone.

Yet HE was the bad guy. Fuck Min Jae, fuck his self righteous bullshit. Motherfucker think's it's better to kill people for their weapons than it is to avenge someone. Fucking whack job. Why the hell is everyone crazy? Nancy's crazy, Alex's crazy, Min jae's crazy... Goddamn, when the fucking human peacock greaser is the most sane S.O.B on the island, you know something fucked up somewhere.

Michael kicked the door open to the rooftop. It was becoming a habit of his at that point. There was Maria on the other side of the roof sitting on the edge, looking down at something. She didn't really pay attention to his door stomp, so he went his own way, sitting by the doorway, and pulling out his first aid kit. He figured he might as well change the bandages on his hand while he could, make sure it didn't get infected and all that jazz.

He removed the bandages an-woah, he almost lost his lunch. The stump had become a mass of black and red scabbing, with pinkish white skin here and there. He gagged a bit as he pulled out the hand sanitizer, dumping a painful glob on it to keep it clean. He was not gonna catch some flesh eating bacteria here, no sir, none of that lock jaw shit for him! He hissed as it did it's burny cleany magic, before grabbing a clean roll of bandages to wrap up his hand.

He finished up when Maria spoke up about this whole situation.

He agreed with her, it WAS fucking stupid! Michael found himself chuckling a bit, before speaking up.

"Hey, you're telling me! Everyone's gone fuckin' apeshit, can't talk to nobody anymore, haha!" He pointed towards the bandaged hand, laughing.
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ToxieTheToxicAvenger
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"Shit, you mean my hair's that bad? Damn, well Aqua Net and Dapper Dan combos only get you so far, shit's only meant to hold for a day or two..." Michael played stupid for comedic value. He knew Maria was talking about the combination of bruises obtained from Jerry's practice fight, and the fact he was missing a digit. He'd wait to acknowledge it, if she couldn't get a joke, he'd leave. Plus he was pretty self conscious, if he wasn't allowed to joke about it, it'd just make him feel worse. Coping mechanisms and shit.

He brushed his hand across his face, feeling the small specks of facial hair starting to pop in. Any longer without a good trim and he'd start looking like Shaggy Doo. "Goddamn, I needa' shave this shit." His hand left his face, and he looked at the bandages along it. "Oh..."

He pointed towards his hand. "You mean this shit right?" He tilted his head and grinned. Maria apologized. Why? She was telling the truth. After three days of getting shit on, of course he'd look like shit. Hell, it was harder to find people who weren't.

"Nah, you ain't gotta apologize, you're pretty much telling the truth, blame the shit-heels around here. I can't get a fuckin' break, y'know?" He stood up, patting down his pants. "Outside of literally one other person, I haven't found anyone who wasn't a dick, so, eh, I had a fun weekend I guess." He remembered how the church shitters wouldn't even let him get a drink before leaving, so he reached into his bag and pulled out one of the water bottles. He took a swig, and decided to warn Maria about them.

"If you leave the asylum, don't go to the people at the chapel, they're fucking cock-monglers, I really hope they catch dysentery or cholera or some shit."

He pointed the bottle at her, questioning her. "Soooo, what's the story with you? You don't look half as bad as I do, you been sneaking around the island dodging everyone, or did'ya just get lucky and not bump into anyone?"
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ToxieTheToxicAvenger
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"Shit, you saw Sandy? Me and Jerry too, problem was it was somewhat post-mortem, err well, mid-mortem or some shit. See, he wasn't dead when we walked in there, but he was in the process of it, Nancy put a damn screwdriver through his head."

The very mention of Nancy's name caused Michael to cringe. All because of her, shit got fucked, and it got fucked fast. Everything that sucked that happened to him or Jerry happened because of her. He continued his story.

"Y'know, we almost killed the bitch. Me and Jerry. She got caught red handed and rushed us. Jerry kicked her like a friggen' Worldstar video right? We had this shit in the bag! We outmanned and out armed her too, my axe was bigger than hers, Jerry had this wicked spear I made for him. We went in there, and-"

Michael snapped his fingers.

"Brendan Harte went in and fucked everything up like the lil' petty motherfucker he is. He killed Jerry, rest his fuckin' soul, and then it was two on one again, me the one. I still fought 'em off, they were scared of me an' shit. They ran like hell."

Michael shook his head. "Like shit, it just got worse from there, Alex had a buddy with a gun, they took my finger, fuckin' Min Jae and his group are dicks- he killed a dude for their crossbow by the way, that ain't his!- You're literally the only one I've actually had a normal fucking talk with by the way, since like, Jerry was here."

He stared off into space for a moment, looking at the island below him.

"It's probably a lot worse for everyone else, the same fuckin' people keep poppin' up on the announcements. Like damn, I get it, you only need one kill to make it out of here and people want to live, but why in the fuck do they keep going at it? Fuckin' Isabel went Hostel on Mistah Class President, I don't even wanna know what happened to Danny, the fuckin' mute's going ham, Alex's has gone full bonkers, dude thinks he's Hannibal now, and that blue haired weeb is a fuckin' whack job, pretendin' that killin' people will mean she's famous or something, like damn... Can you believe that shit?! Y-y'know it's at the fuckin' point where I don't even give a fuck who wins, just as long as it ain't those bastards!"

He took his shades off and sighed, he hadn't breathed during his tirade, and many of his words slurred together. If he kept going, he'd become as incomprehensible as Will 'EEHHMM, EEEERRHHM I'M FREM FOOKIN' LIVERPUEL, M8!' McKinley...

"Sorry for venting an' shit, but three days of pent up bullshit would make anyone crazy."
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ToxieTheToxicAvenger
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Michael was rather surprised, hell he was excited to hear Maria had much of the same thought process he did! Why should THEY get to go home anyways? All they're going to do once they get back is cry and pretend to be a victim, and the dumbass media and talk shows would eat it up. Oh, you massacred ten people? That's okay, you were a victim, they hurt your feelings, there was no other choice...

Fuck that shit. Back in America, there's a thing called capital punishment. Hell, back in civilization, even the most third world ones have the same idea. You kill a bunch of people, you get killed. Even if you're a dictator, you might get away with it for a while, but your people are gonna eat you alive eventually.

This island would be no exception. You killed a person? Coulda' been self defense, it's not the end of the world, you had to if you wanted off anyways.

Tortured a person, however... Kill three people? Well... That's a different ball game. We know you don't have three cases of 'self defense', and you can't torture someone in self defense either, so there's only one route for you to go.

The Route 666. Straight to hell.

Yo Jerry? You up there? You watchin' me? I hope so. I hope you and Scarlett are okay up there. If you can't rest yet, don't worry, you will soon. Things were gonna change real soon, lemme tell you. Those names that keep popping up, they'll all pop up one last time, and not in the way they want it to.

Michael stepped forwards, and extended his arm to handshake Maria. This was the plan then. It wouldn't be like last time. This time he was ready.

"Hell yeah, let's send these fuckers back home, eh?"

Michael looked towards the other side of the island. A blanket of rain was making it's way here.

Huh... Guess Jerry was watching after all...
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ToxieTheToxicAvenger
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They had this, this would work, this wouldn't fail, this- oh God this hurts like hell, ow, ow, ow OW OW OW OW OW OW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHNNNNNNNNN-

"O-ow..."

Michael should not have tried handshaking with the four digit hand.

"Yeah. Alright yeah, let's move, maybe we'll find someone else who agrees with our ideas."

After finishing the handshake, Michael waited until Maria was looking away, before shaking the pain out of his hand.

"Or... Maybe, just maybe, we might find someone who 'disagrees' with us."

Michael shouldered his axe and turned back to the door.

"Let's ice these freaks."

((Michael Crowe continued elsewhere))
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