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Judas; Open
Topic Started: Nov 29 2016, 04:47 AM (749 Views)
Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Well. Here we are.

Time to add another layer of hell, because the previous one just wasn't doing the trick. She's going down the rabbit hole. Lose your mind and never come back. It was gonna be one of those experiences. You go in, hallucinate for a while, and then when you come out everything is all strange and glittery and unbearably light.

Asuka was walking slowly, now. Trying to infuse the scene with some psychological horror. Hopefully nobody ax-crazy comes in to ruin it all. Let's see. Floor plan? Floor plan. Basement? Lobotomy lab? You know where Asuka's going.

It was even better than what she expected.

So you spend some time in this room. Preparation and all, for whatever it is that comes next. Asuka's training. That's what she's doing.

Asuka kicked a chair leg. She yelped. Fuck, how jumpy was she?

Not enough. She hadn't really sold that yelp. And, like, if this place was getting to her, and it definitely should, she should be jumpy as fuck, right?

dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Right when she was done with people, too. That's okay. She can adjust her mindset quickly.

But then she opens her mouth and no she can't, because she has no idea what to say. Because it looks like the guy's not gonna finish his question, and she just wants to be sure, like, really sure, exactly what question she's gonna be answering, and fuck it let's just answer all the likely possibilities. Like a total ass.

She sighed. "No. I don't know you, I'm not playing, I'm not..."

Damn. Were there really only two possibilities? And she thought of herself as creative. Quick, say something clever before your self-esteem takes another dive. Or before it becomes painfully obvious how fucked up you are. Or before the guy flips his shit. Something. She felt an instinctive need to try to say something clever. She can rationalize it out later.

Well, no she can't, but she has to do something now before this gets terribly awkward.

"Anyways. Um. Hi. Asuka. My name. And, um..."

Yeah, asking him how his day went wasn't the kind of joke he was gonna want to hear right now. It was possible. Not really worth the risk in his state. Um. What's the thing you say to show that you're genuinely concerned about someone?

"...are you okay?"

Okay, that was dumb. She laughed, shakily.

"Looks like the island has fucked both of us up pretty thoroughly, huh?"

She walked in his direction. Fuck, how was he smaller than her? That rang a bell. She didn't personally know him, but she'd seen him in the halls a couple times. Not many kids in Cochise who were this short. Lot of good that did her; she didn't know anything about him.

She leaned against the wall. Used a stick to mime lighting up a cigarette. "So. What happened to put you in this state? I was pretty sure I'd be the only one interested in going to someplace called the Lobotomy Lab. Unless you, like. Came here to hide. In which case, whoops."

And then, almost like an afterthought: "I'll tell if you tell."
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Okay. Sure. Less believable things had happened in the past couple of days than a guy freaking out because he lost track of his friends. Besides, she didn't know the whole story. Maybe he heard their names on the announcements. That'll fuck you up, hearing that your friends were dead or murderers.

Still, that made Asuka the stronger one here, for once. Right. What do strong people do, again?

"Mmm."

She really wasn't any good at this whole schtick of comforting the dead and the dying.

"Sucks."

Really fucking brilliant.

And, see, this is the part where she becomes really fucking aware of all the little details about the environment around her. The sweat causing her clothes to stick together, the dust on the boxes strewn all over the floor. Her own nervous breaths. Get a hold of yourself. Focus on the stuff in front of you. What stuff in front of you? Come on, focus. Yes. Focus.

You don't want to fuck this up. Fuck what up? Yes, it is very important to you that you not fuck up when you

Why was she repeating her thoughts to herself until they were inane, until the words had lost their meaning? She knew why.

To give the guy the fail-safe answer: "Well. If you wanna tell me a little more, later, I can... um. Listen. In the meantime, I guess..."

Was it insensitive to derail this conversation like that? But she really wanted to talk about this. Let's hope she doesn't fuck it up too.

"My turn? Or something. I ran into Jerry Fury. He...um. Was a bit of a silver age comics villain. Practically had a sign over his head saying he eats kittens for breakfast, you know?"

She paused. The way the light reflected off of the dust in the air was really distracting.

"But the thing about silver age villains, they never kill. He'll laugh at me, tell me he doesn't give a shit if everyone but him dies on the island, but he can't fucking own up to it. The fucker still can't...still can't..."

She laughed. Fuck, what was she even trying to say?

"The thing about silver age comics is, they're fucking terrible, y'know? Most of 'em, anyways. Cuz the guy's, like, a fucking caricature, and I can't believe that he actually exists in real life. So I give him a gun and ask him to shoot me, try to get him to chicken out and prove that he doesn't actually exist, and he does. But he only chickens out cuz he's a villain in a medium where you're not allowed to say 'die'. So just as bad."

She paused.

"Fuck me, I don't know why I talked about that stuff. Didn't wanna focus on it, wanted to move past it, cuz it's not really important."

Really, though, fuck her. It was so, so much important for her to do this right than for her to show off how fucking damn clever she was. Time to salvage this mess, make sure he doesn't get the wrong impression. It's not that she gave a fuck how others saw her--okay, maybe she did give a fuck, fucking Holden Caufield imitator--but she didn't want to leave an impression that didn't line up with how she saw herself. She wanted to make sure the audience knew who she was. Sure, her narrative was going to be clever as fuck, cuz she wrote it, but goddammit she was gonna give it a heart too.

"But yeah, I've been...wandering, I guess. Not all who wander are lost, and all that. Though I've also been lost, too, so...uh. So much for that. Trying to have an interesting adventure, die happy, etc."

Her rant earlier was relevant after all. Serendipity, or something. That was worth a stupid, shameful laugh.

"And Jerry really, really fucked that up."

Still, though. Damage was done. Dumbass.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Asuka grimaced. Or she made a face that approximated what she thought a grimace looked like.

"Fuck, I hope not. Life and death and last days on earth and that shit, you'd think people would have better things to do than go and be sitcom assholes." Not that Asuka watched sitcoms. Probably shouldn't have made that comparison, that judgment. Not really fair.

Fuck that guy, seriously. Not that she felt intense, irrational bitterness at him or anything. She was...done with him. Shit, it still sounds like she's breaking up with him. But she had better things to do than wage a war against a sitcom asshole. Unless, of course, that sitcom asshole had a gun. Which she'd given him.

She still doesn't have the energy to do anything other than sit there and seethe, though. Worst of both worlds.

"So. Um. Why you say that? You met anyone who was like that?"

Edited by Zetsumodernista, Jan 4 2017, 04:10 PM.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
This was your goal, right? Playing psychiatrist? It's what she'd wanted, what she'd craved from the beginning. A meaningful conversation. Fucking sweet. Except the guy was crying, and Asuka didn't know what to say.

A pack fell on the ground.

Time after time, Asuka found herself using nonverbal communication when she couldn't find the words in her mouth to help someone. A hug, a hand on their wrist, whatever. Neither of which were really appropriate here, seeing as she barely knew Nate. Asuka was never one for following social conventions, but we all know that's just what she tells herself when she accidentally breaks them. It wasn't, like, a principle she followed. And even if it was, she could break it if that meant not hurting another person.

"Take whatever you need."

A bit pathetic, giving material aid when his pains were so obviously emotional. It'll have to do.

She sat down next to him, close enough for the unspoken offer to be clear.

She had an idea. A little something spinning around inside her head. It'd probably make the poor kid cry some more, but fuck it, this wasn't part of her trying to be a psychiatrist.. She wanted to do this so badly she needed to do this. She grabbed a stick, roughly the size and shape of a pencil. Stupid terrorists had taken all her drawing and writing stuff.

"When you're done, tell me...shit, I dunno. The name, I guess. Your favorite memory with them, their favorite hobby, an annoying quirk they had that always annoyed you. The most personal thing, secret or otherwise, they've told you. Whatever comes to mind, for as many dead friends as you can do.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
"It's--not--"

She stopped. Of course she wasn't going to tell him it wasn't his fault. She wasn't all that, she didn't know what the fuck she was doing and if a weaponless boy shorter than her thought he could've done something to change the way that turned out then she wouldn't be able to talk over the survivor's guilt.

She inhaled sharply, started to say something. Stopped. She wasn't any good at this. She wasn't any good at this, and that was funny. It was too perfect.

"We're all so fucking useless, aren't we?"

Welcome to the club, she wanted to say. But that would be just a bit too dramatic.

Hey, kid. You wanted to be all that, right? Melancholic pixie dream girl, bringing joy and drama to the land of the dead and dying in the only way you can. But even as she tried to say something--anything--

Fuck.

Life goals: Know everyone, love everyone before we all die. And how does Asuka see people right now?

"Let's go. I have something to show you." She didn't, but

She sees them darkly.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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