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This time I might just disappear; Open!
Topic Started: Nov 7 2016, 05:23 PM (1,502 Views)
Primrosette
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((Brendan Harte continued from Devil's Choir))

Brendan rubbed at his eye with his free hand. He couldn't believe how close he was to the radio tower. He didn't want to go there yet. He was sure that no one would be stupid enough to actually go into the danger zone and try to get the prize before they hope that their collar would not explode. He thought that he should search around the area more.

Maybe he would find Jonathan and Darius. Didn't they plan on going to the radio tower? Maybe they were still close by. He hoped that they were. Even if he didn't really want to see Darius, he wanted to make sure that Jonathan was alright. He should have stayed with him. Then he wouldn't have murdered Jeremiah....

"You could have killed someone else anyway...." He muttered to himself softly. "....I...."

What was he supposed to do now?

Brendan glanced around and his eyes fell onto a familiar person. His heart tightened, his chest was tense, his breathing was hollow. He blinked a few times to make sure that he wasn't imagining things. The person that he had been looking for was right there. Not that far away from him.

"J-Jonathan...!"
Edited by Primrosette, Jan 19 2017, 08:55 AM.
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Brendan almost flinched when Jonathan came towards him. He shouldn't have been surprised by Jonathan's reaction. But he had been. He thought that Jonathan would be hit him. Or yell at him. But he didn't. He just wanted to know why. And Brendan wanted to tell him what happened. It was going to be hard to get the words out. Would Jonathan even believe him? That he wasn't sure a cold-hearted person? That he thought he was doing the right thing at that time? He was never going to get Jeremiah out of his head. So much blood....

He felt like a complete monster.

"I-I....."

He was stuttering. It frustrated him to be like that. He needed to be clear with his words. He couldn't be a babbling mess while speaking. He wanted to be brave. He didn't know if Jonathan would trust him anymore. He was afraid that Jonathan would walk away. But he still wanted to tell him the truth. There was no point in lying to him. He wasn't going to achieve anything with being a liar.

"I found Jeremiah and Michael in the asylum..... Michael was taunting a girl and they were planning on killing her. I couldn't see who the girl was. But I just took action. I-I wanted to save her. I didn't even know if she was an innocent person or a killer.... I stabbed Jeremiah from behind.... I.... The blood..... I shouldn't have....." His voice was trembling as he thought about what he did and his hands around the weapon was shaking. "I regret doing it..... How could I do something so disgusting like that? I should have stayed with you and Darius, Jonathan. I can't get over it.... I can't get him out of my head....There was so much blood.... I just feel so much guilt that I...."

He had to blink back the tears that he felt that were coming. He didn't want to look like a crybaby in front of Jonathan.

".....I should have let Michael kill me...."
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Brendan knew that Jonathan would think that he was lying. Maybe because he didn't want to believe that Michael would do something like that. Brendan wished that he had never witnessed what happened back at the asylum. Now Jonathan would possibly-

Huh? Behind him? Did someone sneak up on him? He should have been more on guard. He was feeling foolish for not checking around for other people more. Was this person going to hurt him or Jonathan? Did he have a weapon?

Before Brendan could even turn around fully to see who the mysterious person was. Jonathan moved between him and the other person. But why? He didn't understand. Was Jonathan trying to protect him? He was feeling a bit lost. But he also felt.... something else. He wasn't sure what it was.

He was also sure that the person saying his name sounded so familiar as well. He turned to see the arrival's face. His breathing got a bit funny. Alba.... She really was okay. He was just glad to see that she was alive. Even if she did have a weapon that he found terrifying. He didn't think that she would shoot at Jonathan. But he needed to speak to her.

"Alba.... You're not hurt, are you? We don't want any trouble...."
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Brendan could see that Alba was not doing alright but he had to ask. She saw someone die? That must have been horrifying to witness. He had only seen that girl's corpse. And he caused Jeremiah to die. How different would it had been if he had just been a witness? He didn't want to know. It was too late to think about that now. He had to think about Alba and Jonathan. He should tell them about the others at the chapel. But first....

He took a slow step closer to her, making sure that his own weapon was still lowered towards the ground. He was keeping an eye on the gun for a second before he raised his gaze towards Alba's face. He really wanted to hug her but.... but....

"I'm sorry that you went through that, Alba. I.... I'm sure that you will be safe with me and Jonathan. We won't do anything bad. I...."

You can't make a promise, Brendan. You could screw up again....

Brendan didn't want to be reminded of what he and Jonathan had been talking about. But he knew that he had to tell Alba as well. Would she think that he was a bad person? Would she just shoot him after he spoke about it? He had to chance it. He already told Jonathan so she was allowed to know. He thought that Alba and Jonathan were more deserving of going home than him anyway.

"Alba.... About what I did.... Killing Jeremiah.... I just...." He couldn't get the words out. Why was it so difficult to speak up? He just felt so.... tired. "I was wrong. I just wanted to save a girl from him and Michael. They were planning on killing her and I just...."

He let out a choked sob and he could feel something wet on his face. Tears...? No, no. He didn't want to cry. He had wanted to do it in private.

He realized that he couldn't handle what he had done and he hated himself for it. He wished that he could have bottled up everything inside. But it was too hard for him to do so.

"I-I-I'm sorry..... I'm so, s-so sorry...."
Edited by Primrosette, Nov 15 2016, 08:32 AM.
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Brendan felt himself calming down after his sudden crying when Alba was trying to comfort him. He felt somewhat guilty for breaking down like that. He wished that he never did cry. He felt embarassed about it. He couldn't let it get to him. He needed to stay in control of himself for a little while longer. He had to for Alba and Jonathan's sakes. Alba mentioned something about the gym and someone named Byrony. It seemed like Alba wanted to here to find her friend. The first place that he had woke up in. He wanted to go with her. But he didn't want to leave Jonathan again.

He tried to wipe away his tears and he sniffled. He was about to speak until Jonathan mentioned the radio tower. It seemed like he and Darius has a plan of some sort. Brendan just listened to Jonathan explaining the plan. Brendan wasn't sure if it would work but they had to try. It was better than doing nothing. But what if no one would come for them? What if they would be too late to save everyone? What if it would be all for nothing?

Stop being so negative, Brendan. Look on the bright side....

Jonathan was talking to Alba as if she was going to be on her own to look for her friend. Brendan didn't want her to be all alone. But.....

"Alba, if you find Byrony. Please come back here with her. If she isn't there.... Just come back alone and then we can try to help you find her. Wherever she may be, I'm sure that she will be alright."

Brendan almost felt like crying again when Jonathan started to say kind words to him. He finally believe him? Brendan felt a bit relieved. Although, he was worried about what Jonathan would think of Michael now. If they saw each other again, Brendan had a feeling that things would end up badly. Especially since Michael wanted to kill him. Why did things have to be so complicated?

"J-Jonathan...."

He was fiddling with the wooden stick in his hands as he spoke quietly. Did he finally manage to get through to Jonathan for now? Jonathan was right. He needed to go to the radio tower and get his.... prize. The thought of winning something for just killing someone made him feel sick. Maybe he could give it to Jonathan when he came back. He wouldn't feel comfortable with whichever it was anyway.

"I..... T-Thank you. Both of you for believing in me. I can't tell you how happy that makes me feel to hear those words from the both of you...." Brendan was being honest to them and he shifted his foot lightly. He had to go to the radio tower. He had no choice. "I'll get whatever it is and I will come back to you, Jonathan, I p-promise! If I see Darius.... I'll tell him about you, Jonathan."

Brendan turned his head towards where Alba was standing and he showed her a kind smile. He hoped that he would see her again. He didn't want anything bad to happen to her or Jonathan. He needed to be more responsible. He wanted to protect them. He couldn't make that a promise, but he had to at least try to be a better person.

"Good luck, Alba...."

((Brendan Harte continued in I Don't Feel Like A Winner))
Edited by Primrosette, Nov 18 2016, 07:48 AM.
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((Brendan Harte continued from II Don't Feel Like A Winner))

It didn't take him too long to get back.

Although, in his mind, Brendan thought that he would have been too late. He had pictured Jonathan in a pool of his blood. He didn't know why. He guessed that he was more messed up than he thought he was. Why shouldn't he be anyway? He was still getting flashes of Jeremiah in his head. He was a memory that was never going away. Brendan knew that and it had been his fault-

Brendan stopped walking suddenly. He noticed that Jonathan was still outside. Why wasn't he inside the building? Brendan was sure that Jonathan would be more safer out of site. Especially away from any others that were willing to kill. Or just killed for the hell of it....

Brendan had the GM-94 lowered to his side as he didn't want to look threatening as he approached Jonathan and he gave Jonathan a questioning look.

You need to look after him, Brendan.

"Jonathan...? Why....Why are you outside here....?" He asked unsurely. "....Are you okay...?"
Edited by Primrosette, Jan 19 2017, 08:58 AM.
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Brendan had felt relieved when he saw that Alba was safe. He had been afraid that she might have gotten hurt or worse. But she looked fine and healthy. But on the inside.... He wasn't sure what she was thinking mentally. He felt bad that her friend had not been where Alba had last seen her. Maybe they could try to search for Byrony later on. It was the least that he could do for Alba. He also thought that it had been smart of her to leave a message. Although, he hoped that they would not be hostile and distrusting once they saw that he was with Alba.

Brendan's breath then sharpened when Jonathan said that Danny was inside the building. He remembered hearing Danny Brooks on the announcement. Killed by Isabel Ramirez. She had killed three people. Brendan would not like to ran into her. Or Nancy Kyle for that matter. He knew what Isabel looked like but he had avoided her in school. He had no idea what Nancy looked like. So it was a bit frustrating to him.

"That.... That must have been awful to see, Jonathan. Yeah, we should cover Danny up. We have to be respectful. I wish that I had a shovel so that I could have at least give him a proper burial. I guess all we can really do is maybe cover him with a sheet. You're right. We have to do something."

Brendan nodded. Then he was silent for a few seconds. He really hated that more people were dying. Maybe other people were getting killed right now and there was nothing that they could do about it. He felt very helpless in that moment. They had to do something. But what could they seriously do? He didn't believe that Jonathan and Darius' idea about the radio tower would work. But he wasn't going to tell Jonathan that. He might be losing hope but he didn't want the others to lose theirs as well as him.

"....Hey, Jonathan. Would you like to take this weapon? In case you need to defend yourself? I mean, we might get attacked by others who are willing to kill. Like Nancy, Isabel.... Maybe.... Michael as well. And the others who are on the announcements."

He paused as he thought about himself being on there. He was now feeling worse about it.

"....I don't trust myself.... So I would feel safer if you had it."

Brendan was staring at Jonathan with pleading eyes. He was being as honest as he could with him.

"Please..... Just please take it."
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Brendan didn't think that Jonathan would ask about the girl that he saved. Not at that moment at least. He thought that he would ask him about it later. He didn't even feel comfortable to talk about it. He just wanted to get rid of the weapon that was currently in his hands. He hated the touch of it. It made him remember why he had it in the first place.

But if Jonathan wanted to know about the girl then Brendan knew that he had to speak about her. He didn't know who she was. But he remembered the hair. It wasn't that hard to forget that colour. He felt like the girl's face was a blur. Especially when everything went to chaos with Michael.

"I remember that the girl had blue hair. I can't really remember what she--"

Brendan was suddenly cut off by a female's voice and it didn't sound like it was Alba's voice. He followed the voice and he noticed that it was a girl that was unfamiliar to him. He also noticed her gun as well. He was suddenly feeling uneasy. He shouldn't really judge as he had a weapon of his own that terrified him. Why was he still holding it?

It seemed like Jonathan was welcoming her into the group. Brendan didn't know what to think about that. She wasn't doing any harm to them so Brendan guessed that it would be alright. Did she even know who he was? Would she be shocked if he told her his name? And then she would freak out?

Stop getting paranoid, Brendan. Just stay calm and don't screw anything up.

"Y-Yeah, we wanted to do something good for him." Brendan paused. He didn't even know the condition of Danny's body inside the building. He was wishing that it hadn't been a gruesome death. But Jonathan had sounded torn up about it. "....So are you on your own? No one else with you? Uh...."
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Brendan was still feeling uneasy about Candice. He really needed to calm down. He didn't even know her. Maybe that's why he was unsettled. He really needed to cool off. He needed to relax and not do anything stupid. He didn't want anyone else to end up dying because of him. He thought of Jeremiah again. Was his body still down there? Or did Michael bury him? Or cover him up with a sheet? Brendan had to stop thinking about him. It was only making him feel worse. He had to focus on the others. He had to bury the past in the back of his mind for now.

So the girl had been with Mia Rose. He thought it was a shame that they had split up. Wouldn't the two of them have been safer together? He didn't understand why they would separate from each other. It didn't make any sense to him. Although, he did prefer to be alone sometimes. So he couldn't really judge this girl and Mia for what they did. He didn't have the right to.

Now she was asking about Danny. If he was just hurt. Brendan wished that Danny was just hurt and not dead. It would have made things more easier. They could have an extra person alive in their group then. They could have treated his injuries and then convince him to stay with them. But it was too late for that. Danny was gone. And Brendan just felt so down about it.

"Y-Yeah, Jonathan was the one who has seen him in there. We were just about to go in there before you turned up." Brendan said to Candice, still feeling a bit wary about her. "Would you want to help us? Or would you prefer to stay out of it?"

He took a few steps back towards the building. He really wasn't looking forward to seeing Danny's body. But he knew that he couldn't continue being cowardly. He had to do something. He had to be a better person.
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Brendan glanced up at the sky. It really did look it was going to rain like Alba just said. It would be a good idea to get inside quickly. He looked back at Candice. He would have trust her for now. She wasn't trying to do anything bad. So he was going to let down his guard a little.

Just make sure not to freak out when you see the body, Brendan. You don't want the others to think that you will do anything irrational..... Right?

Brendan made his way inside and he listened to Jonathan speaking about what to do with Danny. Jonathan was trying to spare them the site of seeing Danny's body. Brendan thought that was sweet of him to do, but he didn't want to let Jonathan down. He wanted to be someone that the others could rely on.

"I.... I'm not going to change my mind, Jonathan. I'm going to help you." Brendan nodded his head lightly and then he stared down towards the hallway. "Even if.... if it is a gruesome view. We could move him into one of the rooms. Would that be okay for us to do?"

He could feel a lump in his throat. But he forced himself to hold back his tears. He could cry later on. If he had the time to do so.

"I guess we are going to stay here for tonight?" He stared at Jonathan with questioning eyes. He guessed in a way that Jonathan was the leader of the group in a way.
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Brendan could just about see into the room. Seeing Danny's body suddenly made him regret wanting to help. To see the blood..... He couldn't handle it. He almost passed out on the spot. He could felt the bile in his throat but he swallowed it back down. He was starting to feel a bit shaky.

"I..... I can't...." He was stammering and his grip were starting to loosen on the weapon in his hands. "....I can't do this.... I can't stay here.... I....I'm sorry, I'm s-s-sorry...."

He dropped the grenade launcher onto the ground. He then turned around quickly and he ran off, leaving the others behind to deal with Danny.

He only had a few words on his mind.

You are a coward, Brendan.

((Brendan Harte continued in How Can I Take Off This Mask? ))
Edited by Primrosette, Jan 19 2017, 09:00 AM.
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