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Coming Out Of The Closet; Yep
Topic Started: Nov 3 2016, 08:01 PM (1,657 Views)
Yugikun
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"Don't move."
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Yugikun
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He was hoping that he wouldn’t have to see anybody.

((Alvaro Vacanti, continued from And I Can’t See A Way Out This Time))

He hadn’t, since he had left the gardens. Since he had seen Jane. He wasn’t sure what to do, after that, so he walked. Explored where he was. He wasn’t able to go very far - his collar started beeping as he approached a place and he freaked out and ran - but he knew a little bit about where he was. There was an asylum, a church, and then the place where his collar started beeping. He could work with that. Maybe. Use it for his own purposes, or something. A hiding place. There was nobody he could trust, so he just had to be the best he could be. It had become nightfall, as he had found the asylum again, and he went inside. Found a room. There were corpses outside, but he could pretend they didn’t exist. He fell asleep fairly quickly, and the announcement had woken him up. He stood up, off of where he was, and that was when he saw the group.

And he hadn’t seen anyone else during that time.

And he was happy for that. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t know whether he could.

But he knew he had to.

So that was why he said what he said. That was why he did what he did. They were scared. Of him. As much as he didn’t want them to think that, he knew that it was good for him.

But then they started talking back to him. That was when he realised who they were. Ben. Nate.

Friends.

No. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t pull-

But he had to. He knew he had to. There was no other choice. They knew and they didn’t like it and it was going to be like Min-Jae and it was going to be like Scout and he was going to be injured and he just had to do something before they tried to-

But they were his friends. He played soccer with Nate. He talked with Ben, at the cafe. With his sister. No, he-

And then he remembered. The announcements. Min-jae was up there. Oskar was up there. They had killed. He had killed.



“Drop your weapons.”
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Yugikun
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“Good.”

Whatever Matt had was down. That was good. It meant that this could be easier. They wouldn’t fight. They wouldn’t attack. He knew that Scout. Min-Jae had their hands, but he was faithful. They only had their hands. They weren’t going to attack them. They were scared of him, and that was good. And that was bad. He could do this. His finger was where it needed to be. He just had to pull-

A voice - Nate’s - called out to him. He had dropped his weapons as well. But he called. Out to him. Didn’t say his name, but it was friendly. Nice. Like Audrey. Like Danny.

Like Barry.

He had to do this. He knew he had to. Pull the trigger. His finger was there. He just had to-

But he couldn’t. Nate was there. Nate was his friend. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t.

But he had to.

“No. I can’t,” he said, in reply.

He looked up. Looked in Nate’s eyes.

He looked away.

“I have to…”

He trailed off.
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Yugikun
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A step back. A gun pushed further forward.

“No… I already told you.”

But he kept talking. To Alvaro. Nate was trying to get closer to him. Trying to get him to stop. Alvaro wanted that. Alvaro didn’t want to do this. Nate was a friend. A person on the soccer team. Someone who congratulated him when he got captain. Someone who went to the cafe, once or twice. A friend. A good one. He didn’t want to do this. Nate was a friend. Everybody out there he knew. He didn’t want to kill. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to be on this island. He didn’t want to be playing his game.

But he was.

And he had killed.

And he had been attacked.

And everyone knew.

His hands were shaking. He looked down, up again.

His eyes showed anger.

“Stop it,” he said, strain on his voice.

“Please.”
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Yugikun
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“No. You don’t understand.”

He knew what he had to do.

He knew that he had to do it.

He knew how easy it would be.

He knew that he had to be brave.

He just had to curl his finger. Then he could…

Then he could…

No.

He couldn’t.

He couldn’t do this.

He couldn’t kill Nate.

But he had to, didn’t he?

He didn’t know.

“I-”

The syllable forced itself out of his throat.
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Yugikun
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He didn’t know.

Nate was in front of him. He knew that. He could see that. The gun was in Alvaro’s hands. He had power here. He could shoot. He could kill Nate. He had to. He had to do this. But he couldn’t. Nate was there. Nate was a friend. He could trust Nate. On the soccer field and in the cafeteria and with school and maybe once or twice at the cafe he knew that Nate was his friend. His teammate. Someone he could trust. A friendly face who was always looking out for him when he wasn’t feeling as good as he could and someone who was always willing to listen to what he had to say. A good person. Someone who was… helping him. Someone telling the truth. A person who was willing to look past the fact that Alvaro had killed someone and a person who was willing to help him.

The gun was in Alvaro’s hands.

He could shoot.

He had to.

But he couldn’t. No. He wouldn’t. He wasn’t going to shoot, he wasn’t going to-

A step in the water jolted Alvaro back. Someone was walking. Towards him. The face was there and the name was there and he could tell who it was but he couldn’t because he was walking towards him and he hadn’t said anything and he was big and Alvaro didn’t know what he was going to do but he did it was going to be Min-jae it was going to be Scout it was going to be Jonathan all over again and he didn’t know what to do but he knew that he just had to do something do something anything to get him out of here out of this situation get power back regain control he just had to do something do what he had to and do something and-

His finger pulled the trigger.
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Yugikun
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The first thing he noticed was the noise.

A burst. An explosion pierced through his ears as the bullets of the gun found their way out of the chamber. It was loud. Louder than he had ever heard before. As his body rocked and his body slipped and as his body fell to the ground the only thing he noticed was the noise of the gun piercing its way through his head.

That was him.

He had done that.

And a thunk sounded as the back of his head hit the ground. The cold of the water pierced its way through his clothes, the high pitched noise of the aftermath pierced its way into his mind, but he couldn’t feel. Couldn’t hear. As the vibrations of the water touched his body all he noticed was the bang. The explosion. The burst of the bullets.

The noise faded, though, and everything came back. The pain in the back of his head. The cold of his body. The colour of the walls and the ceiling.

The one person still in the room.

His hands shook. Clutched. The gun was still there. The person was still there. He had to act, he had to do-

Wait, but-

No. He did. He had to. He was still there. He was angry. Alvaro knew he was. The person hadn’t said anything the person hadn’t expressed anger or shown Alvaro his feelings but Alvaro knew because he did that the gunshot was his and everyone had ran away and he was scary and he was a monster now and he had killed and everyone knew that and now he was going to take his anger out on Alvaro. Wait. No. No. No. No. No. This was going to happen again. No. No. This wasn’t going to happen again. He wasn’t going to let this be like the last times. The time he didn’t do anything until it was too late and when they took advantage of that. No. He had to act. Fight. Be brave. Be selfish and think of himself, for once. He had to just

Had to just

He closed his eyes. He clenched the gun in his hands.

And slowly, he began to stand up.
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Yugikun
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There were steps to the process.

Hand under body. Hand pushing body up. Turn. Other hand on the ground. Other hand pushing body up. Look behind as this is done because he didn’t know what was happening or where the other person was and it could happen at any time and he could be hit again and he couldn’t let that happen. Get up. Look behind again. Those were the steps. They weren’t fast. They weren’t fast but they had to be because no no no he needed to get up there was going to be a fight he knew it he had to stand up he had to get the gun up at them again he knew he couldn’t make it like Min-jae and Jonathan and Scout again and he just had to get up and stand and be who you’ve made yourself at this point and stop thinking fight and drive them away and just get up.

And he did. He stood up. Looked behind him.

The sound of the splashing waves was all that remained. The rippling of the water, the ringing of the halls in his ears.

The tinge of red, in the water below him.

He did that.

That was his fault.

He had fough- no, attacked them. There wasn’t any denying what he had just done to them, his friends, his teammates, his customers. He knew that. He wasn’t going to deny it. There was no point. He had attacked them. That was his fault. The blood tinged in the water - a part of a friend, however small - was his reminder.

But they weren’t dead. It wasn’t their body, in the water. There was relief there, and it came from many places. They were still alive. They weren’t dead. They were still somewhere out there and when the man on the speakers started talking again tomorrow they weren’t going to know that he had killed another one of his friends.

And they had ran away. They were scared. Injured.

They didn’t attack him.

The water was tinged. Bits of red, slowly fading out until no trace remained. The blood of a friend. Parts of a friend.

He had done that.

And a feeling - one he had never felt before; not here, not anywhere - came upon him, all at once. Feeding. Stealing. Robbing. His energy left him. He took a step. Stumbled, slightly. Got his balance back. Lost it. Took a step. Another. Another. Another.

And his body hit the wall. It span, his mind was spinning. The walls weren’t there, they were moving. Around him. Spinning. There was a feeling and-

It stopped. The walls stopped moving. The room stopped spinning. He had done that. There was a gun in his hands. He had pointed it up, at his friends, and he had pulled the trigger. He didn’t know what happened after that, but they were gone. The blood - the stick, in the water - was the only thing that told him they existed in the first place.

He had done that.

That was his fault.

He knew that.

He wasn’t going to deny it.

He had attacked them. He thought he had to. The kid to his right could kill him at any moment, so he just had to be the one sitting there. He had done it before. He could do it again. And he had to. They knew. They hated him. They weren’t going to forgive him for anything that he had done. For being who he was. For doing what he did. So he just had to act first. Fight. Win. Get off this island. Stop playing this game, he just had to get up. Stand. Be who he had made himself at this point. Stop thinking. Fight. Drive them away and just get up.

His hands were shaking. Did he want to do that?

No, he didn’t.

But he had to.

He knew that.

He knew that he just had to. He couldn’t stop it. There were people out there - Min-jae, Scout, Lily, Jonathan; the names had been on a record at this point - who would try. Who wouldn’t stop. Who wouldn’t fail, if he didn’t do anything. So he had to fight back. Do something. Get up.

And there was a gun, still in his hands after everything that had happened. He could do it. He could fight. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew that he had to.

He didn’t know.

He just

Shook his head. He couldn’t stay here. He knew that. He just had to- he didn’t know. Work himself off the wall. Keep holding the gun.

Walk forward.

Get up.

He took a step.

Stand.

He took a step. Another. His body was normal again. The entrance - the one way outside of where he was - was standing in front of him. It was simple. One more step. That was all he needed.

Be who he had made himself, at this point.

...

One last step was taken before he disappeared from view.

((Alvaro Vacanti, continued elsewhere))
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