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We're In This Together; private; content warning
Topic Started: Oct 23 2016, 04:28 PM (765 Views)
Ruggahissy
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
((Hazel Jung continued from We're Here Because We're Here))

Hazel turned over onto her side. It was just as uncomfortable as her previous position. The car seats were better than the ground, but a poor replacement for a bed. She turned over again and sighed in frustration. No matter what she did, she couldn’t clear her mind for long enough to fall asleep. She thought over and over about herself, her chances of survival, her classmates and her friends at home. The thoughts spun in her head, becoming a noisy mess. She rubbed her eyes and propped herself up onto her elbows. A little ways away she could make out the figure of Min keeping watch in the next car. Hazel looked at Jordan who seemed to be sleeping. She quietly got up and with very careful placements of each step, made her way over to the night guard.

Leaning into the car she whispered, “Do you mind company?”
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Ruggahissy
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Hazel flinched seeing Min reach for the baton. When he relaxed her shoulders went down and she let out a breath. She smiled a bit in the darkness and hopped up into the vehicle to sit next to him. “It’s always more comfortable when you’ve got company. At least, I think so,” she responded. Her knee bumped against his. “I can’t sleep,” she said mostly to herself, looking at the rusted floor. “It’s kind of amazing other people can.” Hazel looked up at him, trying to study his face in the darkness.
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Ruggahissy
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She took a deep breath, trying to exhale out all the anxiety she felt. She was tired of the uncertainty and being on alert every moment of the day for maniacs, who the announcements confirmed were definitely out there. Hazel wiggled her shoulders, trying to will them looser. What she wanted was to believe she had someone who was in this with her. Sure, all her classmates were in stuck in approximately the same terrible situation and she had found a small group willing to stick together, but it wasn’t exactly the same. “I really like you,” she said simply, a pink flush slowly spreading across her cheeks. The darkness made the change invisible. “I don’t remember if I ever said it.” Hazel swallowed and moved her fingers to touch his wrist. She wanted to feel like there was someone with her here she was tethered to by the heart. She leaned in and kissed him, putting her fingers at the line of his chin.
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Ruggahissy
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
For a brief moment she remembered her friends and how they came to disapprove of her “reputation.” This wasn’t the same, she said to herself. And really, every time she had done it, it came from an earnest place. She always thought it was for real. She wasn’t right every time, but the intention was good. It was just for awhile her judgement was a little off.
Min was the first in a long time and honestly, he felt different. Since that time they had met for tutoring she felt relaxed around him in a way that was unusual. He mumbled against her and she felt the cold, smooth surfaces of his piercings slide over her lips. Hazel always needed to be a part of someone else. In the back of her mind, she also felt that it was her last chance to form the deep pull with another person. Her family and her clique weren’t here, but Min was and she wanted to take the leap to find out if she was right. He stumbled over himself and it was adorable. Hazel took a deep breath as if anticipating the jump into a cold pool. She slid her jacket off. Her hands crossed over, each grabbing a handful of tank top and pulled it over her head. Hazel bit her lip and clenched her fist while looking at him.
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Ruggahissy
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Min looked at her with owl eyes. Was that a good sign? she wondered. Her chest rose and fell steadily, which was much more apparent now.

There was still the option to go back. She thought about it. Her lips were slightly parted. It wasn’t too late to rush back to her spot on the floor where she had been trying to sleep. He reached out. He desired her and that was such a relief just by itself. To be wanted was its own kind of intoxication. “Someone wants me around” is what it said. “Someone cares.” Maybe even “Someone loves me.” It gave her a slight nudge over the next ledge. She nodded. Well, she hadn’t known for sure, for certain, but the risk made it all the more special, right?

“If you’re ok, then so am I.”

Hazel hooked her thumbs into the waist of her capris and slid them down, having to sort of shift and shimmy to get the pants down to her shoes and socks, which she slipped off along with them.
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Ruggahissy
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
She hoped Jordan didn’t suddenly wake up. Were the cameras equipped with night vision? Her face pulled into a pained expression on his behalf as he navigated disrobing with his injuries. Hazel made a hesitant move to help, but stopped short, not wanting to do something that would make things worse.

“Are you ok?” she whispered urgently.

He seemed to have managed though. Her eyes scanned him, confirming that he hadn’t created a new injury or exacerbated an old one. Hazel was acutely aware now that she was vulnerable. He called her beautiful and she smiled, feeling like someone pricked her with a sewing needle in her chest. More of her skin felt the cold air than was normal and she shivered. Eyes half-lidded she turned her face to the right and kissed him again. Her fingers worked behind her and unclasped her bra, letting it fall forward onto him.

Together.
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Ruggahissy
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“I think so. Right?” she asked back. She flinched just a little bit at his touch. It was just a reflex to be protective of her torso. The question had been as much a reassurance to herself as it was to him. She needed to know that this was right. The only real way to know was to keep going.

It would hit her like a baseball to the head and she would know that this was what she’d been looking for. Hazel’s hands moved on their own as she thought all of this over. Her mind and body were a part of the same being, but were experiencing a disconnect with each working independently. As she kissed him her hand slid down his chest and into the space where the waist of his pants met his thin body. She pressed down past the denim and belts roughly, applying more pressure as she went down.
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Ruggahissy
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"Oh- uh- okay, here," she said and tried to move her fingers out of the way while he fumbled.

Hazel wanted things to be out of her hands. The tiniest decision in Survival of the Fittest could lead to destruction. When you’re a kid everyone makes the decisions, you’re just along for the ride. She wanted to be along for the ride, as long as it was with a trusted person. This was one of those people, right?

Memories of other times with Min seeped into her vision. She felt the butterflies when he asked her out behind the restaurant for a smoke. Her heart was beating faster.

“I’ll do my best,” she said quietly. “Same to you.” Despite trying to hold in any noise, trying to be as quiet as possible, she let out the smallest broken fragment of a girlish sigh when he touched her. A pulling feeling in her stomach urged her on and she pushed her chest against him, putting all her weight on him while she moved down to kiss his neck.
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Ruggahissy
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Are we going to die?

Her cheeks were feverish and the rise in temperature was spreading throughout her. With different touches and levels of anticipation, points of light lit up throughout her.

Are we going to die?

It was fainter now.

Am I currently in the process of starving to death? Does he care if I haven’t shaved my legs for three days?

Gradually, they became horizontal in the back seat with her on top. This was a shared secret. Hazel worked the remaining fabric around his waist down, leaving him covered only at the thighs. One leg went over him and her trailing fingers formed a semicircle grip. She pushed her forehead against his chest like a child seeking comfort and motioned up and down with her hands. Hazel thought about asking a question, but did not want to take the risk of receiving a shattering answer. There wasn’t yet that feeling that grabs one by the lungs and squeezes out the breath with how sincerely complete it is to be with someone like she felt with Curtis.
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Ruggahissy
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Her right hand was trapped, moving between them. Hazel disengaged from a kiss and bit down on her index finger so hard she could feel the bone and thought she might draw blood.

This was right, for sure it was the right choice. In her head a voice told her to keep going, she was doing the right thing here. Hazel tried to swallow, finding her mouth dry. With the conviction of someone about to jump off the roof of a building, she nodded. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, repeated practice of something brought a certain level of skill. Each time she rehearsed a scene, she became better at it. She lowered the last bit of defense down over her thighs. In acting, the skill of the actors is used to evoke an emotion of the audience. The emotion in scarcest supply was happiness. People want the people who care for them to feel happiness, obviously. Hazel only ever wanted to make the people around her happy. Even if she had to hurt herself a little by overlooking their bullying, she didn’t say anything to her friends.

A shuddering breath escaped.

“I….”

She moved her left leg to the other side of his hips and ran her thumb over the head, struggling to see his face. Without light, everything was a muddled purple-black color. They stood together at the edge, holding hands and looking into the abyss. Electricity fired off, running from the bottom to the top of her spine as they met.
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Ruggahissy
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Things were progressing as they were supposed to, given Min’s inexperience. She knew about that. He had told her. Hazel waited to feel that special flame of real emotion that transcended the reaction to physical stimuli. She grasped desperately for it, but found nothing. She rocked forward, moving in waves. A few moments of her efforts passed. He was holding her hand, she was moving, everything was as it should have been. The pieces weren’t coming together. She moved faster, squeezed tighter and leaned down for another kiss.

“Min,” she breathed out with a slight growl on the N.

Although her skin began to climb the ladder, her bones were cold.
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Ruggahissy
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Hazel didn’t want to say anything and was so concentrated with the task that she wouldn’t have known what to say anyway. Everything was starting to break down and she wasn’t sure why. He tensed and went still. She let go of his hand and gripped both sides of his hips for greater leverage.

What if this was the last chance of either of them to ever be happy before the bit it and it was her fault it was getting messed up? Hazel thought that if she tried harder, if she followed her heart and if she had someone who felt the same things would line up. Sure, maybe they hadn’t always in the past, but the stakes were never this high. The rocking motion became longer and she leaned farther back and stifled her noises with one hand so that she wouldn't be heard. Hazel leaned forward and uncovered her mouth after a moment.

“Do you love me?” she gasped with her mouth by his ear.
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Ruggahissy
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“You promise to keep in touch?”
“Of course.”

“You’ll be there won’t you? It’s next week.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”


The words were different, but the feeling was the same. Her heart broke and Hazel wasn’t certain if it was even worse that it wasn’t there for her either. Were they both just too polite? She froze, unsure how to fix what was done or figure out where there had been a misstep. The wound up ball of tension in the pit of her stomach wasn’t going to unravel.

With her eyes closed tightly she let him kiss her and embrace her. She felt icy cold all of the sudden and hollow. Hazel was acutely aware of the breezy night air.

“Thanks,” she said, mustering up her acting chops to sound sexy and breathy. Hazel cringed inwardly. It was a horrible thing to say post-coitus.

She debated adding in some other word after like “stud” or something more tender like “honey,” but left it at that. Hazel exhaled deeply, feeling tired like how she used to feel staying up late to study for a test. It was a heavy, worried sort of tired. She lingered for a moment before rolling to the side and gathering up her discarded clothes.
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Ruggahissy
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[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Hazel picked her things up and put her clothes back on. She felt more alone than ever and without looking at Min, went back to her spot in back of the car near Jordan. Tears started trickling down her face. Part of her hoped Min would hear her crying and maybe come check on her and they could talk things out, but another part was terrified of that exact scenario and wanted to just be left there. Crying always tuckered her out more than anything though and she fell asleep quickly.

Hours later the bright light of morning found its way into the vehicle depot.

Hazel blinked her eyes a few times and was pulled out of sleep by hearing her name. Wasn't someone supposed to have woken her up for her shift? She rubbed her eyes and Jordan's hazy frame started to take shape.

Slowly, she sat up and tried to push down her hair. A jacket slipped off of her. She caught it by the sleeve and looked around. Her eyebrows came up in concern and she frowned slightly.

"Jordan..."

Hazel realized what he was asking and she looked around frantically. Nothing was left of Min besides a few energy bars. She picked one up and looked at Jordan, eyes welling up a again.

"I think he left," she said quietly, still holding a food bar. She dropped it and slid out of the back of the car, sniffling a bit.

"Can we please go?" she asked, eyes on the ground.

((Hazel Jung continued in Woof Woof, I'm a Dog Kill Your Friends))


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