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Would You Believe? This Isn't Me.; private, day 1 late afternoon
Topic Started: Sep 23 2016, 04:18 AM (812 Views)
Violent-Medic
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That was about all she was going to get out of Alvaro, then. But why’d he have to push that last part on her? Like she was responsible for giving him a direction or sense of purpose? She didn’t mind being asked questions back at school. There, it was fine. She knew what she was doing there, and when she didn’t it meant little more than ‘sorry, ask someone else.’

But asking for help on your schoolwork and asking for help deciding on a course of action during a death game… completely different.

“Do what you want,” Lily said. Her voice was irritated and cold.

Why’d Alvaro have to be all like this? All… nervous and smiley at weird points. Like this was back at school. Those days were past. Why did he have to bring them up just by being present?

“I’ll be leaving,” Lily said. She tried to keep her voice level, but it shook slightly. The idea of going out there again was terrifying. But so was the idea of staying. “No offence to you, but I want to find somewhere asleep where the possibility of someone slitting my throat is minimal. So I’d rather you didn’t follow.”

She needed a new hiding place now. She tried to stay focused on that thought. New hiding place. Think of survival. Think of nothing else, not Alvaro or Tina or anyone.
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He supposed that was it, then.

He stood up, off the wall.

He didn’t want this. He wanted to be safe. He wanted to be with Lily, but he couldn’t. She didn’t want it.

But maybe there was still something. Maybe the moment was still lasting.

“Listen… uh…” He said, sparing a glance back at her. “If you want me for anything I’ll… be in one of the other rooms here.”

He looked down, as he walked. He didn’t want to say goodbye. He knew that this was probably going to be the last time that they ever saw each other but still… he didn’t know. Maybe there was still a chance. Maybe tomorrow he’d wake up and she’d be near and she’d be warmer and she’d be the Lily he knew and she’d want to be friends with him and they’d group up and there wouldn’t be any fights and there wouldn’t be any lies and there wouldn’t be any death and maybe that moment was still there he knew that he was going to do as he said and stay here for the night and maybe things would change and maybe things would finally turn around for-

He turned around, walked into the room with Abby inside.

Barry’s bag laid in the centre.

And that was when he realised that no, he couldn’t. He couldn’t be with Lily. The moment was over. She’d find out and she’d scream and she’d run from him and then her warmth would never come back and then they wouldn’t be friends anymore. He didn’t want it. He didn’t want her to find out and for her to have that happen, but he knew it would. Eventually she’d see the bag. Even if she didn’t, he knew that she wasn’t going to go to him. He wasn’t going to wake up with her near. It wasn’t going to happen. She had changed. He had changed. She was colder. He had killed. He knew that as much as he wanted it it wasn’t going to happen. She wouldn’t go in a group with him. Even if she did, she’d eventually find out about what he did. And then she wouldn’t want to be in a group anymore. There was a chance, though. If he hid the bag, put it somewhere she wouldn’t see it, then maybe she wouldn’t know. He had lied. He could lie again, and since it was about something important, he knew that he could do it.

And then he remembered. Back to when Mr Graham’s head had been shot off. The man on the stage. He said something. Every day. He’d give an announcement and say who killed and who was dead.

She’d find out, whether he liked it or not.

And when she did, she’d…

He didn’t know.

He didn’t want to know.

So he picked up Barry’s bag off the ground, and walked out of the rooms.

He spared Abby one last glance before he closed the door.

((Alvaro Vacanti, continued elsewhere))
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Alvaro left. Lily waited until his footsteps headed into another room nearby. The moment she heard that, she picked up her things and left. Trying to be quiet, just in case he heard her and decided to follow.

Lily didn’t need to be around if he found Tina. Didn’t need those questions. ‘Was it you, Lily? Did you see it happen?’ She didn’t need accusations. Or worse, pity. She didn’t need that. She could have just stopped Tina from dying. She’s not the one who’d need pity, who’d need comfort.

She’d be fine.

She was fine.

If she thought it enough times, maybe it would be true.

Find somewhere to hide. That was the important thing. Somewhere where Alvaro would never find her. And then… and then…

And then figure out how she was going to live through the evening. Then the next day. Then the next…

Then, maybe, eventually she wouldn’t have to worry about the next day. And then, only then… maybe she could grieve like she was meant to. But not now. Not on this island.

She reached the end of the ward, and after checking that Alvaro wasn't behind her, she shoved open the door and ran for it.

((Lillian ‘Lily’ Caldwell continued in Pitstop.))
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