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Never Known Questions; Open
Topic Started: Aug 17 2016, 06:34 PM (1,042 Views)
Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
They just had to fuck around with grey goo.

((B045: Alan Banks: Start))

I mean like sure it takes quite some mental gymnastics to link this to grey goo and like I'm sure there's easier stuff I mean whole bunch of kids are dying so yeah. That impact not good enough for you? No? Ok ok here's how it works. Constant terrorist attacks lead to increase in government military spending lead to advancements in nanotech. Which leads to grey goo. Fucking grey goo, fuckers.

Hey Alan you okay there?

Everything's okay, everything's fine, as long as he keeps thinking about grey goo everything will be fine OH CHRIST fuck no fuck why you just had to become self-aware there for a second. You just had to be self-aware for a second and now all your lovely plans for staying happily deluded are just

Yeah.

Okay. Showtime. This was like some movie shit, huh? The terrorists-- okay, terrorism is a loaded term and needs to stop getting thrown around but maybe just this once it's actually justified so fuck yeah he can call them terrorists-- had trapped them in some movie shit. Can you kill your best friend? Can your best friend kill you? Ooh aah scary and deep and all that. So you put on a fucking show. You put on your badass cape and your badass trenchcoat and hold up your badass gun and say some badass words and then, well, and then

You already know what to do with this narrative.

And yeah, maybe a part of him was whispering something to him. Something like: Hey Alan uh you know the terrorists just want a good show right. You know rebels are pretty popular and entertaining in show biz right. You know this plays into their hands. Their fucking gloved machine-gun-wielding cybernetically-enhanced mystical magical ringwraith terrorist hands.

Hey voice uh how about you fuck off before Alan thinks he's schizophrenic and shit. Because fuck it if Alan was going to sit around and be some boring kid. That'll be some rebellion. No, Alan was going to rebel and he was going to make the terrorists laugh like kids in the candy store and then the candy was going to have fucking poison in them. Because this rebellion was going to fucking work.

So how do you do lead a rebellion without a badass gun, right?

Okay okay this is easy. You walk up to someone and ask for their gun. And they give you their gun, because you're a trenchcoat badass rebel guy and they're so in awe they give up their gun to fight for the cause. And if they're assholes and they don't believe well then, well then! Then you get to hold them up with your badass fucking lightsaber. Yeah, Alan had been itching to use the thing, he really had.

Keep your lightsabers away guys the market's in town.

Alan was fucking in.

"Hey, um, no cigarettes here, but I got like a lightsaber if you wanna deflect bullets and stuff."

Badass rebels need no swords.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Candy bars, huh? You offering Alan a nice tasty candy bar for his beautiful-as-shit badass lightsaber and yeah how about a no thank you on that. He should-- he should hold them up now. With his fucking toy lightsaber. It was for the greater good, right? Because if you don't hold them up for all their food, you hurt your chances of stopping grey goo and grey goo trumps fucking everything, and shit Alan go fuck off with this shit. Go fuck off with this shit before you actually convince yourself because hey Alan was a pretty persuasive guy, right? He was like really smart at making stupid stuff sound smart and shit you gotta control yourself man. Or at least until he had an actual plan or idea or something about how to rebel, but Alan doesn't do plans, does he?

Alan Banks doesn't control himself. You do not tell him to control himself. He is a force of nature. An agent of chaos. He is a-- oh, fuck it with the superlatives. Alan was going to think whatever he damn well pleases.

Hey Alan that girl's offering you something for nothing. She's pretty cool. Pretty chaotic. Bringing down capitalism and all that, yeah? And that other girl, Kaitlyn something, she's pretty cool, right?

Turn to the Asian girl. Say something. Say something epic back.

"Really? Cool. Hey, as a thank-you gift or a token of good will or some shit, I'll give you a free candy bar. For free."

Because fuck waiting until he was finished taking down the terrorists, he was gonna stick it to the man right now. The man. The fucking system. Burn it all down now. Send it all tumbling and crashing down. Like, he might not have the chance later, right?

"And Kaitlyn, I don't know but this place has some pretty sick deals on candy bars right now. So I'll give it a, um, C+ for effort. And, like, it's all your fault for getting put here, anyways. It's the government's punishment for libertarians."

Yeah. She'd love that.

Okay, so she won't but at least it'll make her stop being a fucking libertarian. Or at least make her become a better libertarian.

Oh wait she was a different kind of libertarian wasn't she.

Aww, fuck.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Was Kaitlyn actually taking him seriously? Did that Lili girl actually take his offer at face value? Kid, when someone makes you that kind of offer, you're supposed to offer back something stupid or epic or something. Like, Alan was attached to his lightsaber and shit. He didn't want to give it up for literally nothing. That was a dumb idea. Lili was supposed to offer back two bars, or her weapon, or a piece of grass she found on the ground or something. It was like a game. A good game, not this shitty game.

He tossed two bars and his lightsaber over to Lili.

"Now give me a bar and a penny. If you gimme a rusty dime I will throw it at you."

Except he did get something from Lily. Loyalty and shit, right? He'd shown her some goodwill, hadn't he? And, fuck, maybe she wouldn't be much use to his upcoming Rebel Alliance, but at least she could keep watch or something, right? The Rebellion would need every fucker it could get, and it should get every fucker it could get. Doing otherwise would betray the cause or something.

Hell, this was a pretty good-sized group assembled here right now.

Alan cleared his throat.

"Alright, here's the dealio. I'm not playing, and I don't think any of you are. If you are, then, like, fuck yourself and all, but I don't feel like wasting time doing an eval on you."

It was dumb not to vet people or something, but eh........fuck it. Nobody had an actually good weapon anyways to backstab someone with.

"Anyways, if you wanna join a badass Rebel Alliance or something, I'm putting the offer on the table now. Except Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn's required to join so she doesn't go off on her own and contribute to societal collapse or something."

There. That got the right message across. Plus she was the only one here who would definitely be fun to talk to. That was something.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Fucking Kaitlyn, stealing his thunder, fucking Lili leaving the group. Yeah. This wasn't looking so hot.

So. Um. Words, right? That's what Alan had. Millions of words echoing around in his head, but none of them seemed like they'd do any good here.

"You're full of shit." That was for Scout.

"You think you're being so smart and pragmatic, huh? So realistic, so much smarter than all us little rebels."

Fuck, directly arguing with someone. Newsflash, kids: that doesn't actually accomplish anything. You don't actually make any good arguments here, because like hell you're gonna actually convince them. All you can do is push them off balance and keep the bastard there. Fat lot of good being a purist is gonna serve him now, though.

"Cuz as far as I'm concerned, you just told me you're gonna play the game, and it's two on one, kid."

Bet you don't like that, huh? Shrimpy little ginger kid, thinking she's some badass survivor.

"Yeah, you can leave the badass rebel alliance. You can live for now, because, like, killing you before you've done anything is really sketch, but please fuck the fuck off."

The wind picked up a little. Aw, yeah. Did Alan have a badass cape billowing in the wind, there? Fucking symbolic shit going on? No? How about this: ginger shrimp pulls a gun out of nowhere and blows them all to hell because maybe, just maybe, there wasn't an argument to win there.

Fat chance. He was fucking invincible.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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Zetsumodernista
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escaping the real world to face reality
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
And the asshole was gone. All according to plan, right?

And right now, his plan consisted of going absolutely nowhere in particular. Except that plan was a goner, now, because fuck he had to have an answer he couldn't be caught with his pants down like this. He was the bullshit god, right? You don't catch the bullshit god with his pants down. Fuck you, Kaitlyn, for ruining a perfectly good plan.

"Bell tower. Find a group there. Get this thing off the ground, get the show on the road, whatever ya wanna call it. Start putting some bite behind this bark."

He pointed at his mouth, threw his shit into his bag, and marched off like someone who knew what he was doing. Which he did. Know what he was doing, I mean.

I mean, how hard was it to spot a fucking bell tower, right?

((Alan Banks continued elsewhere))
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
- Memories: 1
- Pregame: 1
- V6: 1-2
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