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Zum Glueck In Die Zukunft
Topic Started: Aug 14 2016, 12:26 PM (603 Views)
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Fiyori Senay was a young woman without a future. She heard this often, of course. Heard it from parents and teachers, policemen and guidance counselors, friends and enemies, acquaintanced and even some fucking strangers who never should have bothered to bother her. Some people said it as if it were some kind of warning. Some kind of prophecy even. Some others said it, one way or the other, and meant it to be insulting - a way to gain some kind of imagined superiority over Fiyori. She heard it often, she heard it way too often. But she knew it was all true.

Fiyori Senay was a woman without a future, because she chose to have none.

She wasn't so conceited to assume that even crawling out of her mother's womb she lamented the ill fate of being birthed on this cruel world. Oh no, there was certainly a time when Fiyori Senay was a little but different child and people asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up and she'd say something frivolous like 'doctor' or 'astronaut' or 'chef'. She didn't remember though. She remembered nothing about what her childhood was like, and she did not remember how she felt. Her parents told her a story from time to time, and they generally followed the same format of Fiyori doing something stupid specifically to shame her parents and them then doing something amazing to show how fucking snappy or witty or amazing as parents they were. She didn't believe them. Did so at first, of course, because all children saw their parents as those infallible giants at first, but eventually she grew to realize how ridiculous those stories sounded, and Fiyori Senay grew to resent her parents for it.

The thing was – it was a little bit scary whenever Fiyori thought about it late at night – all she could remember, no matter how far back into her memories she went, all she could remember was that she was disgusted. Repulsed by the very fact that she was alive. Horrified by the fact that she was born to a world that neither cared about her successes nor her failures and how nobody asked her whether she wanted any of it all. Nobody ever bothered to ask her if she wanted to go to school. If she ever wanted to go to high school. If she ever wanted to waste her youthful days working on hours of homework. If she ever wanted to gain thousands of dollars of debt so that she could go to a college and work for something she never asked for. If she ever wanted to lose so many nights of sleep to the stresses of academic success to gain a degree that might just as well be of no use to her because Fiyori Senay was Fiyori Senay whom nobody knew and nobody hired. Even if she was good – and Fiyori knew this wouldn't be the case because she just wasn't smart enough for a degree – nobody would bother to hire her because if it came down to it, people would prefer those whom they knew and Fiyori knew no-one.

For some reason, this especially was some sour note. She hated people who thought otherwise. People who thought if they just worked hard enough someone will recognize their spirit and dilligence and offer them opportunities. Nobody ever asked Fiyori, if she wanted to work hard and harder yet to attain a dream of a stable job and a stable home even if she knew that she would never reach it. Nobody asked her if she wanted to grow old, if she wanted to lose all the few mental and physical abilities she had to chronic heart diseases or cancer or dementia or maybe even to a drunk driver who thought they would be the one person capable of perfectly controlling a vehicle in the dark and completely shit-faced.

Nobody asked her if she wanted to live only to perpetually face challenge after challenge whose only outcome was a quick or slow decay and death.

Of course, what Fiyori Senay realized as she got a bit older a very important thing. Once, she pondered who 'nobody' was, and who would have asked her if she wanted any of life. Her parents? A god that didn't answer? The uncaring universe? There was no-one to ask the question. But there was someone who could answer.

And she could answer no, and so she did.

It was supposed to be the day after graduation. Maybe the week after. She was flexible about it. Fiyori figured what happiness she could gain from life. And she figured that high school was still a pretty good deal as long as she didn't have to bother about what came after. People constantly pestered her about her 'future', but that was fine. She knew she would kill herself and so she would just discard all of those responsibilities people tasked her with and enjoyed every second she could by doing so. It was okay, after all. There were some troublesome times, because life was like it is, but in general it was a lot of fun. A lot of fun she knew she only had because she was still going to high school and didn't have to worry about money or credit points or debt or anything.

But high school had to end and then she would be an adult and nothing she would ever do could halt the suffering she would inevitably experience in the long run. She felt it was a good compromise. No, it felt like a victory whenever she thought about it. The world was uncaring and nothing more than a simplified construct for Fiyori to lament about, but it felt good to think how life would just make her unhappy, and how she could prevent all of this unhappiness by taking action herself.

All of it so good and yet...
Fiyori Senay
 


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Survival of the Fittest.

The principle summing up the process of evolution in one neat phrase. The one to adapt the best to their momentary surroundings will be the one to pass on their genes. Fiyori did not mean to pass her genes on in any way. She did not back in high school, and seeing her teacher die and her fellow students chained to a deadly collar did not awake any desire to give birth either.

[[Fiyori Senay: Start]]

She wasn't sure why the fuck she was even thinking about that. If she were a bit more lucid, she would have blamed the drugs they... these fuckheads gave to the students. Either way, it wouldn't matter. The reality was the way it was and no matter what inane thought passed Fiyori's mind, her world had turned regardless.

She could taste the floor pressing against her nose and her lips and she was not sure what kind of floor it was in the first place. It was cold, yes, so far so good. The ground was cold, but so was the air around her and a wind went above her motionless body, tipping Fiyori off that she was indeed outside.

Fiyori tried to open her eyes, and she tried to move a finger or a leg or even her head but she could not. Yet maybe, or nevermore.

No, there was something. A feeling. She could feel something else. Something pulled on her, and she felt a pressure – a light and gentle one, almost pleasant even – on her chest. There were hands on her shoulders. No, really! Those were hands, and she could feel them so clearly.

Her eyes opened.

She saw nothing. Which was wrong because she saw enough and to be completely honest she did not like what she saw so she decided she saw nothing.

"Day's getting better and better."

Oh, good to know her diplomatic skills were still working.
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She, that meant Georgia Lee Day, was without doubt very much way too close to Fiyori's face. It was uncharacteristic. Surreal, even. Fiyori's eyes opened more, as much as they could and yet they could only muster so little. They darted over GLD's eyes, over to her nose and her ear at the left and the right. She turned her head just a bit to the side. She mustered the sky and found it was gray. She mustered the surroundings and found nothing.

GLD tightened her grip. Fiyori felt the impulse to bite her face. She resisted it, though. For the meanwhile, at least.

Then Georgia Lee said something and Fiyori listened. She registered the words she uttered and for some reason they seemed even more surreal than anything else. Was that an aftereffect of the drugs in her blood stream, or because Georgia Lee Day was so unlike... her.

For a moment, Fiyori wondered. Wondered whether she just got it wrong and the girl in front of her wasn't actually GLD but...

"What."

Fiyori tried to meet her eyes. She managed it for a second. But then it felt as if her own eyes were drying out in seconds just by staring back at GLD and Fiyori had to averse her gaze. It fell on her neck at first, and that made Fiyori uncomfortable as well. So she just closed her eyes.

Fiyori raised her right hand. It was difficult. It didn't feel like she had used that mass of muscles and tendons for all of her life. It felt as if someone unpackaged a factory-new model and just tried to attach it at her arm.

The hand stroke GLD's own shoulder in passing, but ultimately took a firm hold on the hand with which GLD grabbed her shoulder. She meant to push her hand away, but alas, Fiyori forgot for one moment how she was supposed to do that.
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"Ah, thanks...?"

GLD dropped her. Really, she just let go of Fiyori, causing the taller girl to just fall on the floor with a thud. She did not notice any pain, or any shock from the impact. But it did wake her up a little more. Still, jeez. There was no need to be so rude. GLD could've dropped her more gentle, but Fiyori guessed it was fine one way or the other.

She looked up. And no, she knew it was not fine.

GLD talked about something. She talked a lot, actually. And it weirded Fiyori out even further. Georgia Lee Day, for all Fiyori knew about her, was not the person to talk much and definitely not the person to talk much to Fiyori. And if she bothered to open her cunt mouth it was just a bunch of belittlement. She'd have snarled at that point, but her lips felt limb. Hearing GLD talking so much and talking about seeking shelter. No, seeking shelter and offering Fiyori a hand and the chance to accompany her. It just did not make sense.

And yet, she looked up to GLD. And maybe it was just because of some whim, but she accepted. Fiyori laid her hand unto GLD's, and with the woman's help she raised herself to her feet.

"Right. Just let me put on my glasses first."

Fiyori looked to the left and to the right and for the first time she registered her surroundings. The sky was overcast, it was fairly cold. They were on some kind of bridge because Fiyori could see the dirty and dark blue of the sea emerging from the side and she could hear the water flowing beneath them, forming waves crashing against something somewhere else. To her side, she spotted a bag. White letters on it's side, and as Fiyori slowly approached them she saw that they read "G010".

Fiyori threw a questioning glance towards GLD, but then went on to open the bag. She discovered bottles of water and something she presumed to be food bars. There were papers, too. A leaflet maybe, or a magazine. She ignored it, and went on searching through the bag. And yet, she did not find her glasses.

She looked again. She saw food. She saw water. She saw a shovel this time too, but not a hint of her glasses. Fiyori breathed sharply. She looked again. And again. And again and again. Georgia Lee was still present, waited for her, despite the time it took for Fiyori to sift through her new belongings, the time it took to pull the individual items out, inspect them and store them again.

No, she searched through her bag. She did so thoroughly. And she was sure now. Her glasses weren't in her bag, so they likely laid somewhere on the ground. She scanned the ground for a light blue accent among all the grey and green and brown but she didn't find anything of the sort.

Hm.

Fiyori looked over to Georgia Lee Day.

"My glasses are missing. You have the working eyes, so if you have seen them..."
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Georgia Lee Day replied by pulling another bag not unlike the one Fiyori just searched through. It seemed to come from nothing, and GLD also commented that it might actually be the one belonging to Fiyori. It didn't sound very condescending, much to Fiyori's surprise. At first, Fiyori meant to apologize. Say something along the lines about how she didn't see the other bag. It was true, of course. But it was no reason to say sorry. Not to Georgia Lee Day.

...actually, to whom did the G010 bag belong if not to Fiyori? Was it GLD's? Then why didn't she object when Fiyori rummaged through it? Or was it just that GLD herself didn't know exactly which bag belonged to her. No, that wasn't likely. Fiyori knew GLD to be methodical, strategic, thinking ahead and thinking about her surroundings. She would hazard a guess that GLD's first action upon waking up would've been assessing what she now owned and how she could use that.

Maybe.

Either way, Fiyori made sure to look through the bag as GLD looked all over the ground. Fiyori, again, found nothing.

"So, are these our bags or do you have another one?"

Fiyori rose to her feet, gave the bag another look and turned towards GLD. Her mind was clearing, and yet she was sure something murky was aboard. She waited a bit. Formed the words in her head and asked herself whether she really should ask at that moment. She concluded she should.

"You just wasted your best chance to kill me."

Her voice was steady and firm. Dark, even, and definitely a surprise to Fiyori. Yet she was curious. No, she was demanding an answer because Fiyori felt something odd was going on.

"Had you thrown me into the ocean, you'd be down one potential enemy and I wouldn't even object to it.

But here you are, asking me to come with you. Helping me to find my glasses. And you're not even being a bitch about it."

She squinted her eyes, and tilted her head to the side.

"Why?"
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Her throat was coarse. Sand was hidden away in little spots all around her teeth and gum. And yet, she laughed. She had to. There she was, Georgia Lee Day - her person, the entire sum of everything she did, all her aspirations, all the hard work she put in, all the foul words she listened to and all the challenges she braved, all the bonds she made, all the memories she had, everything Georgia Lee Day was and ever hoped to be... all of it stood in front of her and was fated to die.

It was petty, Fiyori knew. Petty, cruel. And yet, Fiyori was right. She was right about everything. So she couldn't help it. She laughed, tears swelling up in her eyes and a stinging pain developing around her solar plexus.

But she snapped out of it, and in the fraction of a second, Fiyori stopped. She focused on GLD, tried to so at least. A grin still on her lips, she approached the other young woman slowly. Took just three steps forward.

"You know? I think you could actually do it. Not dying, you know?"

She was sincere. It would have been possible. There was that condition, the requirement was to kill at least one of your classmates, and GLD just had the chance to do so. Had she used that chance, and then hid until the very end - then yes, Fiyori was sure of it. Georgia Lee Day could have done it.

"But if you're not even willing to kill me, well... then there's nothing left to do for us but run around this place aimlessly unless we run into someone like, dunno, Ty."

She stopped smiling. She stopped breathing for a moment, too. Of course, how could she be so ignorant. He was with her on the trip. Not only him, but also so many others. If it were only Georgia Lee Day and Fiyori Senay, she would have felt utter bliss, but knowing that so many of her friends are about to die. No, she couldn't think about it. She couldn't. She mustn't.

The smile didn't return.

"He'll give me a hug. And then he'll crush your skull."

Fiyori gave her a shrug, and raised an eyebrow.

"And I see no reason why I'd bother to stop him."
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Gratitude? Was she supposed to thank her for not killing Fiyori? Was she even aware of what it made her sound like?

Fiyori gazed back at GLD, but then she averted her eyes and just shook her head. The wind blew, and some strands of hair flew into her face. She turned to face the railing, and the sea beyond.

She stepped towards it, heard her feet stepping on concrete and heard her feet stepping on grass. The railing was old. It was rusty, but it seemed stable. She put a hand on it. Leaned against it, and just watched out from the bridge into a gray and blurry sludge of sky and sea that stretched out before her.

The truth was, and it was an uncomfortable truth to accompany all the other ones, that her glasses were gone. Neither of the two bags contained them, and they weren't on the ground either. They were gone. That was it, and Fiyori felt as if she could just vomit. A strange reaction, perhaps some sort of mourning. Either way, in that moment more than ever she knew that she had two choices.

Take the step onto the railing. Lean forward and fall to death. Or ultimately accept Georgia Lee's offer of company. Use her as a pair of functioning eyes. It was so absurd, but it was a choice.

She wanted to say something. To Georgia Lee. Tell her about how much of a service she would have done to Fiyori if only she had killed the girl before she awoke. How much she would have loved to just die.

But now she had a choice. A choice she had to made then and in that moment.

She wanted it, didn't she? Die. Fling herself off into the water. If not from the Hudson Dam, then from that bridge. But no, she chose differently. She didn't know why. No, she did. But she didn't want to acknowledge the reason.

"Fine. You'll help me see shit. I'll help you survive."

Fiyori turned around to her again.

"Just try to be more pleasant company for once."
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There was something going on about in Georgia Lee's face, but Fiyori wasn't sure what exactly. She hated that. If only she had her glasses, her visual abilities would've been good enough to even discern the smallest detail on Georgia Lee Day's face as long as she was looking for them. But without her glasses, there was nothing clear to see. Not at the distance between them. Fiyori sighed. She did not bother to hide it.

Georgia Lee Day decided to head off the bridge, and Fiyori Senay decided to follow her. Her ill-found companion took a bag, and Fiyori reached for the other one. She wasn't sure about it. About what to do. What it meant to survive. Oh, sure, Georgia Lee had a plan in mind. And if she had not, she would be formulating one in her head at that very moment. She was the kind of person to do that. Routine. Methods. Strategy. She would devise her brilliant and genius strategy to get off this island without a hitch and it would all crumble the same before the hurdles that would be their classmates.

Georgia Lee thought she and Fiyori could survive. She would not. And she would not.

[[Fiyori Senay, continued in Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying]]
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