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RuPaul's Drag Race Mafia Game Thread; Woooooo girl, she already done had herses!
Topic Started: Apr 28 2016, 02:27 AM (10,364 Views)
MK Kilmarnock
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Lights.

Camera.

Action.


The stage is set, the beat begins, and a tall, well-built figure begins walking down the runway in glorious fashion.

Covergirl!

Put that bass in your walk

Head to toe

Let your whole body talk

And... what!


Hello and welcome to RuPaul's Drag Race Mafia! I'm your host, MK Kilmarnock... but for the duration of the game, you can refer to me as RuPaul. Or Mama Ru. Or just plain Ru! Girl, I ain't picky!

Now, here at RuPaul's Drag Race Mafia, we do things a little bit differently. Competitors will undertake multiple challenges that will push their teamwork and skills to the challenge as I evaluate their Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent in order to find America's next big drag queen! So, what does that mean for you?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! This will work just like a standard mafia game, complete with voting as normal, with day and night phases, and all that jazz. The only real difference is that, in flavor, nobody dies. Because that's messy, and I've got enough blood feuds going on with Meryl and Michelle fighting backstage, okaaaaaay? Now, rules are standard, but I shamelessly ripped the following from Bastard Mafia (typos corrected and very minute rules changed, so read carefully):


Quote:
 

The Rules


  • Do not, under any circumstances, quote, screenshot, or otherwise allow people direct access to your Role PM. You may paraphrase your role & flavor. If you're not sure if something is okay, ask, and save us both some trouble.
  • Do not talk about the game outside of the game thread without direct permission from the mod.
  • To remain active, you must post a minimum of four times per day phase. Unlike in previous mafias, only EBWOPs don't count as a post for the purposes of this. A bald vote with no content would even count, as far as I'm concerned. Due to there being no ambiguity to these rules regarding what counts as "meaningful" there will be more posts required per phase than in previous games and only one warning and then a modkill.
  • The first dayphase will run for 7 days. The rest will run for 5 days. Nights will run 3 days. Scum have day chat FOR THE FIRST DAY ONLY.
  • Order of actions will be determined by NAR, except in that Roleblocks take primacy over all other blocking actions, and Miscellaneous roles are treated like the role they most resemble, where applicable.
  • All lynches are final. You may continue talking after a lynch is reached but before I've posted the flip. Once the flip is posted and night starts, no more posting.
  • One "bah" post is allowed, otherwise no posting in this thread after elimination.
  • Votes must be red to be counted. Unvotes should be green. Unvotes are encouraged, but not required. If it looks like a vote for somebody, it will be counted, to avoid fake-voting gambits.


Now, drag queens can be a shaaaaady bunch, but at the end of the day, we're all family. So it's important to remember to love thy neighbor and play nice. After all, if you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen up in here?

Can I also get roles confirmed up in here? Once we get that out of the way, we can have some fun! Now...

Start your engines, and may the best WOMAN win!


The roster:

1. Yugi Alaska - Mason
2. Flare
3. Deamon Shangela - x1 bulletproof
4. Bikriki
5. Ruggahissy
6. Empress Plush Mimi Imfurst - Hated
7. Laurels Willam - jester
8. Primrosette Sharon Needles - tracker
9. dmboogie
10. Charlotte Laganja Estranja - Poser (goon)
11. Randomness
12. Slam
13. RC Phi Phi O'Hara - Godfather
14. Frogue
15. Backslash
16. Rorick Bianca Del Rio - Team mom
17. Murderweasel Acid Betty - Obstacle
Edited by MK Kilmarnock, May 27 2016, 02:34 AM.
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MK Kilmarnock
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Day phase is indeed over.

Silence! Bring back... my girls.
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MK Kilmarnock
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Ru Paul has the pit crew (as scantily clad as ever) bring everybody from the Untucked lounge.

"It has come to my attention, unfortunately, that one of you queens... has been breaking the rules."

There's a moment's pause to allow the editing team to work their magic, playing a dark sound cue (and to simulate a few flashes of lightning).

"Mimi Imfurst, you've come from humble beginnings. You made your mistakes and received a raw deal in All-Stars, but I decided to give you a second chance. Unfortunately, it's come to my attention that you declared a pronounced hatred for Cher. Now..."

Ru Paul dramatically removes her glasses, which she only wore in drag tonight for the sole purpose of removing them dramatically as aforementioned.

"Is this true?"

Mimi Imfurst, the perennially disliked but perpetually industrious queen solemnly nods her head. She is many things, but a liar is not among them. Ru shares the nod in understanding. The air is deathly serious.

"I'm sorry my dear, but once again your time here on Drag Race has come to an early end. But worry not, because I see things lifting for you on the horizon. And girl, I'm NOT talking about India Farrah." Now... sashay... away.

Eliminated:

Empress Plush - Mimi Imfurst - The Least Popular (Hated)

Day Phase 1 has ended and Night Phase 1 will now commence, ending on May 3rd 12:00 AM PST.

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Edited by MK Kilmarnock, Apr 30 2016, 12:12 AM.
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The next day...

The queens all saunter into the room one by one. One, two, three, four... sixteen. All sixteen queens enter the crowded work room and make space around the tables, engaging in various conversation. Mimi's lipstick message had already been erased from the mirror by a neutral party, given that nobody had sent her packing in a lip sync.


WOOOOO GIRL! She already done had herses!

All eyes and ears are turned to a large screen on the wall that shows a picture of RuPaul, complete with little sound jingle. Then, suddenly, the static screen turns to a video feed.

"Good morning, ladies."

"Now, as I'm sure you've noticed, you've all arrived safe and sound in the work room this morning. You're all safe... and anybody who knows anybody who knows ANYTHING about Drag Race can tell you: 'safe' is a dirty word. Remember ladies, this is a competition, so I expect for you to all step it up today and strut, your, stuff!"



Day phase 2 begins now and will continue for five days, ending at 1 AM PST 5/8/16. Counter will be posted to be helpful.

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MK Kilmarnock
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Coming in to check up on how you girls are doing for the day. Rorick, I see that you edited a post and while you have been reprimanded by a couple of others for it, I wanted to give you an official warning. Remember to edit by way of post (EBWOP) and you'll do smashing. We've all made that mistake, queen, you just gotta learn from it.

Vote count incoming.
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MK Kilmarnock
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Vote count:

Rorick: 1 (Laurels)
Murderweasel: 1 (Bikriki)

16 alive makes 9 to lynch. Get to work, ladies!
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MK Kilmarnock
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Wooooooo girl, you are SOME shady bitches up in here!

Just remember the OTHER commandments of being the next big drag queen, ladies: Courtesy, Unbiased, Niceness and Tact.
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MK Kilmarnock
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Oh and one more thing, ladies: In addition to deciding who will be going home this evening, I want each and every one of you to fashion an outfit out of materials you can pick out of this dumpster we found behind a TGI Fridays! There's not much time left. In fact, here's a reminder:

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Laurels
May 5 2016, 06:12 PM
This game is basically Season 7.
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MK Kilmarnock
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If there was a watcher in this game, they would technically be able to self-target.
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MK Kilmarnock
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Hello, ladies, I just wanted to check on how you're doing. You know, if your dresses are looking a little bit janky, you could always try going the comedy route. Wow us. Show versatility, or at least try to avoid the color green because Michelle Visage has a really, really weird bias against it.

Vote count:

Laurels (4) - Murderweasel, Randomness, backslash, dmboogie
Rorick (1)- Laurels
Murderweasel (1) - Bikriki


16 alive means 9 to lynch. Please don't let this become Guilty Gear mafia or I may fucking cry.

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MK Kilmarnock
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An amazing lip sync had just occurred at the end of a brutal episode.

Death drops, backflips, judo-throwing queens left and right and breaking light bulbs. It was an absolute bloodbath with 20 recorded fatalities... I guess this is why we never filmed Drag Race in front of a live audience. Never again, Santino. Never again.

After all was said and done, wigs flew and dresses were stripped, RuPaul is left in tears. Doesn't help that one of the queens in question, probably the worse-performing of the two, invented a story about being left at a bus stop.

"Fuck it... shantay, you BOTH stay!"

Today has ended in a NO LYNCH. The sponsors are disappointed but the network is excited at the prospect of another episode. Night phase will now last 3 days, ending at 1 AM 5/11/16 PST.

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MK Kilmarnock
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We're not quite sure how it happened.

In what will go down as easily the most bizarre episode in Drag Race history, not one.

Not two.

THREE queens went home.

Everything seemed normal as the queens all set about their business of constructing gowns out of their favorite books. Almanacs, manga, a dress made out of a bunch of copies of Fahrenheit 451 in an attempt to be clever, we saw it all. Eventually, the good times had to come to an end when SHANGELA, bless her little halleloo heart, was sent home after narrowly avoiding elimination earlier in the competition.

This is where it starts to get a little weird.

You see, after Shangela's elimination, WILLAM started getting a little freaky backstage and attempted to make out with the pit crew. Yeah, like... the entire pit crew. At the same time. Don't let the word 'attempted' fool you, because Willam saw a fair bit of success in this endeavor. Unfortunately, this meant that Willam had broken... well, SEVERAL rules of the show, and was quietly removed without pomp and circumstance, basically the opposite of what he (Willam uses boy pronouns) would have wanted.

This was all just too stressful for one ALASKA THUNDERFUCK 5000 (we just call her Alaska to beat the censors), who felt the air of the competition had become just a little too poisoned. All in all, three queens have sashayed away tonight, and I hope that the competition starts to see just a little more integrity.

Ladies, I want to be impressed. Your numbers are rapidly dwindling, and that means what remains should be the best of the best. So get out their and put on your best face, darlings.

DON'T fuck it up.


Eliminated:

Deamon - SHANGELA, THE PRODIGAL QUEEN (x1 bulletproof)
Yugikun - ALASKA, THE BESTIE (Mason)
Laurels - WILLAM, JUST... WILLAM (Jester)

Day phase 3 begins now and will continue for five days, ending 5/16/16. 13 queens remains. Have fun!

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MK Kilmarnock
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I would do a vote count... if there were any votes.

You've got about 3 days, ladies. Make it happen.
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