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I Know What My Fortune Is; It's partying. (Junko's Anti-SH Party)
Topic Started: Mar 5 2016, 12:53 AM (2,943 Views)
TwelveFourtyFive
Winner
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((Darius Van Dyke continued from Hyperventilation Dance))

Darius was walking the street to Junko's party. In his hand an energy drink. Just pure Monster.

Hah, just kidding. Monster+Vodka=Good way of going to the party in a good mood. It also helped him to stay up a bit longer the night. Passing out before the real fun began would suck.

Seriously, Darius imagined it to be a bit boring going there non-drunk to get drunk there. But it was better than Sadie Hawkins for sure. Sadie Hawkins had no booze. America had dumb laws. Besides, he'd be there alone with just lots of idiots and young junior students and just fucked up students. And he had nobody to dance with. Though it'd have been awesome if Raina actually accepted his invitation. Maybe, he'd have went there for her, if she would have asked him out. But here, Michael and the other people will come. So this will be definitely more fun than Hadie Sawkins.

Burping before entering the site, he searched for people he recognised. Hey, there was Junko, the host! And next to her was Wayne Cox. And they did a fire. Yeah, fire could be fun. Darius instantly had to think about eating marshmellows, so he swallowed the saliva in his mouth.

Yelling, he greeted Junko, whom he approaches, while waving his free hand, the other hand holding his monster energy can.

"Hey, Junko! I've invited my bestest friend Officer Brand to the party, is that alright?"

The night would be fun. He could drink as much as he wanted without worrying about losing anything. He brought no really important possessions to the party.
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TwelveFourtyFive
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Oh, it looked like Junko thought Officer Brand was the Monster energy drink instead of the Kingman police guy. Sad, that he couldn't troll her. But she said she had more booze, so that was neat.

Hotdogs. This was paradise.

"Yeah! Thanks very much for...the party and the hotdogs and alcohol and stuff!", Darius agreed with Wayne. Wayne seemed to go for food this early. Risky! Food+Booze=bad. Darius was a true mathematician.

And guess who came?

Raina.

Hah.

What a coincidence.

Awkward.

Okay, he should chill. Darius drank the rest of the can in one go. Dropping the can on the ground, he approached Raina and Junko.

"I knew you'd want to spent the evening with me, Miku!", he said to her with a smile. "You could've replied to my message, though."

This evening would be more interesting for sure, now.

Getting even more drunk, not in a house, but outside. No loud music that makes Darius have to scream to communicate. The music in this party wouldn't actually disturb him. Partying outside had a disadvantage, however. No TVs. He turned to the host and organiser, Junko.

"So, what drinking games will we play?"

Hopefully Bradley would come. Everytime he offends somebody, 1 shot. Everytime he delivers a good joke, 2 shots, everytime he delivers a bad one, 3 shots.

"What about beer pong? Or Mia! Or Spin the Bottle."
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TwelveFourtyFive
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"Barely", he repeated with smile.

Holy shit, Raina was tsundere. Without the dere. She was tsun. She was literally Ha-TSUN-e. And she threw his can into the bin. She was such a great environmental activist. Give her a golden star. Will she go with hipster glasses the next time he sees her in school? Will she walk with apple products to school? Is her hair coloured with organic products? Had she just saved Kingman from being buried in litter?

"Thank you very much, Raina, my heroine!...Yeah, Junko, we could play shotgun. But please pay attention that no cups will land on the ground afterwards. Cause that wouldn't be decent.", he added while he clapped with his hands at the glorious act of Raina. Then, he noticed that Michael and Jonathan also finally arrived. Not late, but later than Darius expected. Yeah, he actually couldn't judge, considering that he forgot to go to a paintball match one time. "Welcome to the party, Crowe and Jon."

Turning to Michael and Jonathan and replying for Wayne, he explained who the hot dog guy was.

"That's W. After some cans of beer he'll see double you."

He joked, pointing with two fingers at the two of them while laughing loudly.
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TwelveFourtyFive
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Puns were sometime lame. Especially when people who are not Darius do them.

That was different, when Darius was a bit drunk. Darius spent some time attempting stopping laughing from Junko's joke. It was so bad and unexpected that Darius had to continue giggling.

Other stuff happened as well, before Darius survived his sudden laugh attack. Fiyori came. That fucking bitch. He'll get her later. It did not help that Michael alluded to his beloved Nintendo.

Also, Michael pointed out a misconception. Darius, confused, was angry about Michael's ignorance. He'd never throw a bad party. But it turned into an inward smile. Darius never hosted a party. Ever. But he liked to pretend to be the host!

Hm, now if anybody else joins, he should also welcome them to 'his' party. Maybe, Dariush should try to trick Fiyori into thinking he was the host? And then tell her that she should fuck off from his anti-sadie-hawkins party? Hahaha. No, that would be too harmless for revenge.

But first to the hot dogs and ladies. Singular.

Darius wouldn't be able to eat multiple hot dogs.

Darius walked to Wayne and Miku, sitting down next to them.

"Hey, Schizo", as W saw double U. Fuck you, correct terminology. Fuck you, Bradley. He knew it was called bipolar disorder instead of schizophrenia, but who the fuck uses bipolar disorder? Schizo is easier. If anybody dares to correct him, he'd punch them straight into the face. But as Bradley wasn't here, he had no fear of getting corrected. "Can you reach me a hot dog as well?"

Looking at Raina instead, he showed of his very skillful skills he was skilled with of his skilled singing. Emphasise on kill. Darius began. Ievan Polkka, he began to sing with a moderate voice. Though he replaced every syllabus with a 'da'.

Dadada dadada da.

"You know this song? Sing along!", he stopped before continuing his artful Ievan Polkka solo.

Darius hoped he had not disturbed Raina's flirting with Wayne. /s
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TwelveFourtyFive
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"You don't like Vocaloid? Kay, will stop. Will stop."

Dariush had no hot dog. God, hot. The hot dog of Raina was way too hot. Poor hot dog, burnt, roasted, for way too long. Just like his throat after doing a great solo of Ievan Polkka.

Ignoring Junko's question Dariush did not feel comfortable to reply to, he looked perplexed at the catastrophe. Dariush did not know why, but Raina looked very pissed. It is not as if Dariush was responsible for this, but Dariush was wary now. And Raina actually fucking hurt with her joke. Not that it was hurting him personally, but the joke was pretty bad. Raina was totally bullying him. Not joking, because nothing she said was actually funny. Haha, rofl, lol, topkek. Dariush's family caged him, lolololol. Raina, comedy god. Fuck you.

"Apologeezes Christ."

And Fiyori was worse. Threatening with violence. But even getting his larynx sodomized, it would have not been as terrible as Raina just ignoring him. It was not as painful as getting an important and valuable gem or console stolen, but it was still very degenerating. Ignoring him. Not paying attention and telling a dumb, elementary-school joke to Wayne.

"Your hot dog burnt? I...fuck, how can I tell you this? My condolences."

Dariush coughed. He needed to sing a sad song. He did not shout, but belted out the lyrics with a strong voice.

"ENDLESS RAIN! FALL ON MY HEART!"

His overexaggerating hand moves were amazing. Well, Dariush was amazed by his gesture, how wonderful it looked like. He acted as if he was a very dramatic japanese rock singer, which is fitting considering that this is currently a very sad and dramatic demise of an once-edible hot dog.

"KOKORONO KIZU NI."

Dariush had to. Dariush went to Raina and hugged her. To her ear, quietly, he sobbed the rest of the chorus "Let me forget all the hate, all of the sadness." The voice died down.
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TwelveFourtyFive
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An object thrown hit the target. Dariush was thrown at with a can and now had more alcohol on his surface. But he had more alcohol inside.

OH, he was the creep now. Sure, Raina's not creepy at all. With her eyes of a witch or her fucking dyed hair. Who colours the hair in blue? Cyan. Whatever. It looked anime. Darius had at least a cool colour. And not his whole hair to imitate some vocaloid. Raina was being the creepy one with throwing liquid at Dar-

But luckily, before he could open his mouth to reply, Michael and Jonathan interferred and-

really, that did not stop him at all.

"Your face ain't worth it."

He let himself go from Michael's hand, stumbling but ultimately landing on two feet in the end. Hah. That comeback. Hopefully some witnesses of this event will remember that comeback forever. Or that rejoinder.

"Wayne, of course you're put off alcohol with that face."

Good. Now, after having been offensive, he had to defend himself. Gonna grind up all the defensive points, heh.

"Groves would spank y'all for your lack of musical knowledge, you philistines."

He tried to recall lyrics. Lyrics fitting and witty for this situation he's in. Other than Pirate songs his head was emp-

oh. Of course, the most obvious choice.

"Anone Hayaku, Pasokon ni...miku miku, dadadada"

This song sucks and was Raina's theme song and that's the reason why Darius couldn't continue singing and forgot the lyrics. Yup. But it showed that Dariush was able to sing. But he stopped. Because. He drank. Result: He had to pee. Junko wanted him to 'do something'. Watzlawick whispered into Dariush' ear that she meant that he should go away from the party. OK. Well, Pauly said that Darius should leave the society of drunk people temporarily, to let things calm down, maybe conspire against him; who knows. Because Junko was the only cool one who didn't instantly side with Miku, Dariush respected her wish. He also had to piss anyway. So Dariush left the place to urinate, distancing himself from the group. Singing to himself:

"Wherever you are, dadadadada. Wherever you are, dadadadadada. Whatever you say, dadadadadada."

And thus he went to search a tree or a bush or something.
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TwelveFourtyFive
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And Darius was far away from the group, so there was no reason to continue singing.

But it was relieving to release the water from his body.

While pissing, Darius thought about what to do, when he returned.
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TwelveFourtyFive
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When Dariush returned, new arrivals came into his sight. And he could see that they falsely assumed that Junko was the host.

"Welcome to my party, madame!", he told Maria. Maria was a new arrival as well as...whats-his-face. What-a-face. That face. Darius looked good, way better than Jay-something, but he bet Raina would still flirt with him. Jay-something. Johnny? Yeah, Johnny, Jonny, or Jony. Whatever, J.

"I welcome you as well, boy! Feel free to take the alco! All that booze sponsored by the Van Dyke company. It's free for you, but don't steal anything, Johnny, haha."

Johnny was a criminal and therefore that fucker can't be trusted, especially at parties. Like, if Fiyori had not stolen his DS, Johnny would have.

"Can I also have one, please?"

Darius pointed at the cigarette. He had not bought any for this party. Hopefully Johnny will give him one. Maybe he's not a bad dude. After all, Darius' free booze against one cigarette? Fair deal!
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TwelveFourtyFive
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Johnny gave him a cig. Johnny was good. Be like Johnny.

"Sure, sure. Menthol, ethanol, methanol. I'll take it all."

Dariush took one cig and digged into his pocket to pull out a lighter. Trying to ignite the cig, he covered it with his hand so no wind would blow out the fire. But, he shall not burn his fingers. He needed his fingers, damnit. They were his golden tool. In gaming, in drawing, in writing exams. His claws are holy. But, luckily, everything was fine and he could put his lighter back to his pocket and the minty cig into his mouth.

Darius turned his back to Johnny to watch Maria and Junko gossiping about him. False information, mostly. He needed to comment on it, point out the lies.

"A) I did not try, I succeeded and B) my singin' was wonderful. I can sing again, will sing again. Jesus, Junko, have I not told you, when I invited you here, that you should bring a guitar? Campfires without guitars suck."

And with that he bend, to take a beer and open it.
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TwelveFourtyFive
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"Thanks", he told Johnny when he gave him the beer. While Dariush sucked the liquid from the alcoholic drink, he spectated the events of the 'party'. There was no comment that needed to be added. Darius' hugging was magnificient and everybody who experienced it either knew it or had the wrong hair colour. Still, he chuckled at Johnny's comment, and even moreso at Junko's.

"Free beer shower, though. It's refreshing at such a desert night."

Darius shortly poured some beer from his beer can at the direction to Junko. Though, not too near at her to actually hit her or anything, but hopefully surprising enough to shock her.

"Also want to get a beer shower? Hahaha."

Besides, at the rather boring party that had nothing to offer, Johnny smoked something more enjoyable than menthols and, god damn it. Aiden came to the party. That guy can fuck off already. Dariush was really, really, really tempted to make jokes about him, insult him or just to insult his fam. But no, Darius was smart. Darius ignored Aiden.
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TwelveFourtyFive
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"Hahaha, you drinking booze is wasting beer", Darius quickly replied to Maria's taunt.

Johnny offered Dariush a joint, so he happily took it to take a drag and give it back to Johnny instead of Maria. That is what he needed. A nice dank drag. Johnny is a better person than Darius would have imagined. A joint was something that he needed. Or rather, what the party needed. Why the hell did Junko not bring a joint to the party?

"And that's what you think flirting is? Singing is flirting? Oh, just shut up," he added to his previous comment to Maria.

Aiden was not better either. Jokes. Trash jokes. Puns. Ugh. 2015 and puns. UGH. And that fucking language that this bastard used. High art of swinging legs. More like high art of swinging fists, if Aiden keeps talking bullshit.
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TwelveFourtyFive
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Junko made fun of him, referring to the hug and then just made a pun. Puns. Low comedy. Farce. Earlier during the party puns were acceptable. But now? Junko and Aiden starting a pun contest. That was hell.

Oh god, Aiden wanted to drink. That demanded another drag of the joint. Hm, it tasted oddly minty. Perhaps it was due to the cigarettes. He passed the J back to Johnny.

Darius should leave. This party was turning into shit. Aiden, Fiyori, Maria. One could not compensate that with Michael and Jonathan or Johnny or Junko. Too many shitty boring people in one place. Heck, Junko couldn't compensate it with the lame puns either. Puns. Who the fuck uses puns in 2015 anyways? It's not like the english language will have that more new words to create original puns. Bug. AHAHAHA. Sucking. ahahaha. You suck, Aiden. You suck. Darius decided to leave. This elementary school humour was way below his level.

"Anyways, I gotta go. I have assignments."

Darius stood up, took another beer and walked home with a cigarette in his mouth and a beer bottle in his hand. He had games to beat.

((Darius Van Dyke continued in The Note Desolation Plays))
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