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Plush Wants To Read Your Living/Pregame Things!
Topic Started: Feb 22 2016, 05:00 PM (1,005 Views)
Emprexx Plush
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Paige/EP/Plush, they/them pronouns pls thanks :3
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Hey Everybody!

So this thread is pretty much like the Dead Critique Thread, with a few key differences:

1. Only Living Characters may apply.

2. There'll be no nitpicky section.

3. Critiques will generally be shorter and targeted more towards giving you ideas about what's working great and what could be working better right now for your character rather than an overview of what's up with them in general.

4. Because of this, Living Characters can be resubmitted after surviving 4 Roll Periods or Three Months of Pregame. Characters may not be submitted in back-to-back queues.

So that's it! 10 slots open, and currently V6 pre-game characters are all that is eligible :)

Current Queue
SotF Characters

the highest honor i'll ever achieve


Plush Wants To Read Your Dead Things and your Living Things! As of 8/14/2017, the Living Queue is Closed, and the Dead Queue is Open!
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Deamon
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Humans...
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Kimiko, since I'm intrigued.
Forrest Quin - At the Zoo
Bret Carter - On a date
Aliya Kimia Nemati - In Training
Arizona - Practicing
V6
V5
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backslash
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Who is this sassy lost child
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Gimme a Raina critique?
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
Characters

Others
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1245
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Winner
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
I need to improve Conrad. Tell me how.
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Espi
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Beep Beep
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Alice Baker.
V5: Cut Short


V6: Broken Down


V7: Unprepared
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dmboogie
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A Delicate Machine
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Cass Prince doesn't have that much of a presence atm but I'd love a crit, please!
a tribute for the dead and dying

Posted Image
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Laurels
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Cause what you see isn't always the truth
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Nadia Riva, if you'd be so kind.
V6 Cast

V5 Cast

Chat, Art, and Fun Stuff
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Yugikun
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maybe if you're lucky the random avatar will sync up to the character you're reading right now
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Let's go Jeremy for this one.
In a V7 near you!
Coming to a V7 near you!
The Past


Hi! I have a blog! Please check it out and follow and stuff!

Posted Image
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SansaSaver
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Player
[ *  *  *  * ]
Hazel is my darling that I’m struggling most with atm, so I’d love to hear your thoughts on her! <3
Version Seven:
Tristan O’Hara
Dorothea Rodriguez
Ariana Simpson


Past Characters:
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CoreyImperia
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Chanel #7
[ * ]
Oh, oh, oh! What an awesome idea :3 I would really appreciate your thoughts on Lani, Empress :D
Version Six:
Lani Salder
“I’m just like everyone else.”
PREGAME: Past: {1} {2} / Present: {1} / Sadie Hawkins: _
V6: _

Juniper Colton “Hiya! Would you like to try one of our latest massage bars?”
PREGAME: Past: {1} / Present: {1} / Sadie Hawkins: _

Madison Blanche “Well, at least you tried.”
Currently in conception

F is for Friends who do stuff together

A wild recipe appeared!
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Riki
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Winner
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
You are a person whose opinion I appreciate highly. Hearing your opinion of
Fiyori Senay
would be lovely!
Fiyori Senay
 


Version 7
Version 6
Version 5


ChatShit

My Credentials
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Emprexx Plush
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Paige/EP/Plush, they/them pronouns pls thanks :3
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
And that's 10! I'll get started on these as soon as I can :)
SotF Characters

the highest honor i'll ever achieve


Plush Wants To Read Your Dead Things and your Living Things! As of 8/14/2017, the Living Queue is Closed, and the Dead Queue is Open!
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Emprexx Plush
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Paige/EP/Plush, they/them pronouns pls thanks :3
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Boop boop it's a Kimiko Kao Critique V1

THE COMPELLING

One of the great things about Kimiko right now is your sense of communication with her. When you have a character like this, it's easy to make something like being mute/deaf/blind/etc. be the only thing about them, or the most interesting thing about them, but you weave Kimiko's muteness in very naturally and don't hang up on it. It's there and it's present but it's something she has a pretty good handle on and seems comfortable with, so it becomes complementary to her narrative rather than the center of it, and that's an excellent way to handle it in my opinion. This is going to get more challenging once the game moves from pre-game to the Island since she will no longer have her cellphone and that's one of her primary means of communication, and pen/paper may not be readily available for her, but I think you're laying a solid foundation for her to kick off on there.

Another thing I like about Kimiko is that she's very cool and collected. Whether Bradley's being an ass or Jerry's making an insensitive comment or she's getting a chance to geek out with Junko, she takes things in a measured stride that feels natural, like she has a good sense of herself. This scaffolds well from her profile comments as someone who pushes herself to be outgoing and not let her disability control her. It's easy to say that a character is social or easygoing, but Kimiko is having that kind of thing tested and acing it in terms of characterization, and I think you're doing some solid work there.

THE DRAGGING

One thing we haven't seen much of from Kimiko is her athleticism. Gymnastics is a big part of her life according to her profile, but I don't see it having much presence at all in her pre-game so far. I'd like to see some expansion and maybe a thread with her hanging out with other athletes or a one-shot of her performing to get a sense of how this hobby shapes her and what it means for her, given that she's been doing it for twelve years and it features prominently in descriptions of her school life, family life, and advantages.

Another thing I'd like to see is what makes Kimiko's collected, outgoing nature crack. You've established the consistency of her attitude pretty well and had her throw out a couple jabs towards Bradley, but I'm wondering what, if anything, can make her break from that and get under her skin? Consistency is good, but it's also sort of bland unless you break it up with spikes of something else. Character traits like that are such a juicy testing ground for conflict and later hooks in the main game, and I think it would be a beneficial area to keep in mind when looking for places to throw Kimiko in the future.
SotF Characters

the highest honor i'll ever achieve


Plush Wants To Read Your Dead Things and your Living Things! As of 8/14/2017, the Living Queue is Closed, and the Dead Queue is Open!
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General Goose
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Don't cast aspersions on my asparagus.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Oh, oh, Bradley Floyd please oh Grand Empress!
V7 peeps:
Nick Ogilvie
Ashlynn Martinek
Bill Winlock
Camille Bellegarde

V6 peeps:
Kiziah Saraki
Bradley Floyd
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Emprexx Plush
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Paige/EP/Plush, they/them pronouns pls thanks :3
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
General Goose
Feb 23 2016, 01:23 PM
Oh, oh, Bradley Floyd please oh Grand Empress!
The queue is currently full and closed, my fowl friend, but I'd be happy to do him if you want to pop him into the next one when it opens, these queues likely won't take very long to empty :)
SotF Characters

the highest honor i'll ever achieve


Plush Wants To Read Your Dead Things and your Living Things! As of 8/14/2017, the Living Queue is Closed, and the Dead Queue is Open!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
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